Does Current 3/4 Year Old Behavior Predict Teenage Behavior?

Well, I was always told that a child is "set" more or less at age 5............I would say she is getting close.........any bad habits might need to be nipped now.......

I can honestly say I think that is true.......most of my kids are the same now as when they were 5, just older..........My oldest always had to have the last word, and still does, although his new girl friend is the same way, and he is tending to stop doing that, and trying to stop her as well........so this should be interesting!

Take care and enjoy her, teach her and love her.....she'll be all grown up before you know it.

No. Absolutely not! Or maybe. :)

We all know adults who have been the same since birth and those who are not at all like they were as young children or even teenagers or young adults.

Your guess is as good as ours!

In my experience with my two now grown daughters, yes, strong-willed now is strong-willed forever. I always encouraged my children, especially my daughters, to be outspoken, questioning kids. Yes, it did sometimes get to extremes and we had to teach them that it was okay to question but there is a right way to do it. The teenage years were somewhat difficult (They always are) but the good thing is we ALWAYS knew what they wanted and what they thought. They were very good at speaking their minds. Now, my oldest daughter is a mother and a manager at her workplace and my youngest is in nursing school. They both are confident, wonderful adults and I have heard from many people what strong girls we raised. That was our goal for them.

I can just give you an example of my life and when I was young I was very shy and dependent on everyone else. I was in a car accident and had brain damage at age twelve and I had to figure out on my own that I was going to get nowhere in life like that. I had to fight for everything I now have. I am just trying to explain how many different experiences effect everyone's lives. My older children have stayed pretty much the same as they were in the younger ages. My daughter was walking to school in kindergarten. She is now forging her way through a university in another state. My son was a slug then and he is still a slug now. They haven't had any life altering experiences yet. I would just suggest that you go ahead and establish who is the mother and who is the daughter now and you will have a lot less trials to deal with in the teenage years.

My personal opinion is that there are certain personality traits that are unique to each of us from birth.

Then, there are the behaviors we learn from all the influences we have in life.

My 2 kids (4 and 2 years old respectively) have completely different personalities. Even though we're incredibly consistent in how we have been rearing them and discipline, they're just completely different people.

So, I say yes and no to your original question. She probably has personality traits she'll always carry with her, but as he mother, you'll be able to mold her into different behaviors.

My kids, for example, weren't born polite. We're teaching them that - one is just more apt to want to please us with good manners than the other.

Hormones, though, are another thing, and God only knows how it will affect her in the teenage years. My only advice as one of 3 daugthers is to establish yourself as her mother first (authoritative) and friend second.

It is hard to know, because we do not know what experiences your child will have from now till her teenage years. If things pretty much stay as they are.. No big moves, no life altering events, no extraordinary experiences, then yes, she may stay very much as she is now.

If there is a major shift in her life , then she will start to take on the wisdom, fears, life altering effects of really large events.. It is not good or bad, it is just her life and how it is dealt with.

I was one child growing up until my parents divorced, then I became a very different child once my father moved out. As a matter of fact, my mother also completely changed when she decided to divorce.. I think it was for the better for both of us, but it still made a huge shift in our lives.

My sister was meek, mild, and sweat. I was full of spit and vinegar, strong willed, full of energy, even a brat. My sister went along with the crowned, got in to alcohol, shop lifting, sneaky behavior, early sex. I didn't even understand what peer pressure meant. I didn't do bad things to fit in. I was confident, and did my own thing. I was popular and had friends, but didn't need to do what everyone else was doing. It could work to your advantage. My mother said my sister was and easy baby and and easy child and a nightmare teenager. That I was a difficult child and and angel of a teenager.

I think a lot of how your child behaves when she gets older will depend not just on what sort of behavior you allow when she is younger- but also on HOW you communicate with her! At age 3/4, your daughter is right in the thick of her 'terrible twos' (My son was fine at 2- but age 3/4 was pretty crazy!)

All you can do now is keep a grip on your own temper, deal with whining or tantrums firmly but kindly and be CONSISTENT in how you deal with them. Talk to your daughter over and over and urge her to 'use her words' rather than act out. It takes a lot of repeating, but even now when my son is age 10 if he is sulking about something I will say "tell me what's up with you- use your words!' and it will almost always get a pained smile and some communication going.

I see so many kids my son's age who just talk back to their parents all the time and seem to have very few boundaries or rules placed upon them.Your daughter is still SO young, you have a lot of this ahead of you. Right now, just focus on getting her to communicate and think before she throws a tantrum, yells at you, etc.

But I think you need to start out parenting in the way that you mean to go on:

Encourage communication and mutual respect. Insist on polite, good manners, no matter what. Later, when she is old enough to understand the concept have your daughter learn that some things are automatic ( food, shelter, etc) but some things are PRIVILEGES and must be earned (TV time, a new toy, video games, etc)

My son has his moments- all kids do!- but overall he is polite, helpful, respectful and does his chores without complaining. He understands that we are all a family and everyone has work to do, and that we will work hard to give him things he really needs and wants, but he needs to meet us halfway.

Right now, just cope with the toddler stuff as much as you can and don't worry too much about the teen years! But as your daughter gets older, just keep reinforcing that good manners are not something you will negotiate on, and that you and she have to respect, love, and trust EACH OTHER. If you can make that work, she will have a good basis for her behavior when she gets older :)

I think some basic personality traits are apparent at 3-4, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It kind of gives you a head's up on how to deal with the issues down the road.
I've always told my son, first and foremost, to be "an independent thinker" and question all things and even question authority--not to take everything at face value and boy, has it come back to bite me. (And he's only 7 right now!)