Well, I note that many people on Mamapedia call women they've never met "Sweetie"!! So we should settle this one once and for all.
Yes, it bugs the hell out of me if it's from someone I don't know (not that there's much yelling from the men on the street at my age), someone in a professional capacity (like a waiter or a store clerk), or someone in the office. Allowances given for the elderly lady who calls everyone "Sweetie". But usually it's dismissive. And a teenager?? Uh uh.
"Ma'am" is fine - I know some women think it's reserved for older women so they resent it. I think "Miss" sounds like something an older person does to establish seniority over a younger person, but maybe that's just me.
There's a nice little lunch place near here and I yearn to stop in more often because I like to give my business to the independent restaurants vs. the chains. But there's a guy who works there who calls me "Young lady" or "dear" at least 3 times per visit and I can't stand it - plus he puts his hand on my shoulder when he brings me my plate. I'm usually pretty outspoken but for some crazy reason (hunger pains???), I've yet to find the right words in a timely manner before he disappears. Then I stay away for awhile, then I forget and go back. Repeat as above. And I started going there because the waitress at another place kept called me "honey" and "dearie." Grrr....
I'm from Long Island, and if I'm in NYC, I just shut up and take what the waitress has to offer! It's not uncommon for one to come to the table, grab her pad, and say, "So, TAWK to me!" Which means "May I take your order?" But it's for EVERYONE and it's regional so I don't take offense.
And up her in MA, we definitely order jimmies. We took the kids to NY and the ice cream clerk looked like we were from Timbuktu until I translated the order to "sprinkles".
Random question: is the male equivalent of these inappropriate labels "Dude"??