Does Anyone Know Any Good Ways to Inforce Rules?

Hi I am a mom with adhd who has a son who also has adhd. The best way I can describe the physical feeling I have when not on my meds & someone lets say makes you sit still is like a million ants all over you & you MUST move to get them off. Dont punish your son because he cant sit still or behave because honestly as hard as he tries he just cant alot of times. That doesnt mean he should be able to get away with bad behavior though but you have to be more patient with him. I implore you to keep him on his meds for his well being physically & emotionally because if he is being socially withdrawn at 7 I cant imagine what it will be like for him in a few years. Incidentally I was on Ritalin for years then in high school the doctors took me off of it & I struggled the rest of my life until I started college 2 years ago & realized I still needed meds. I am now on Adderall & life is so much easier & if I miss a dose omg can I tell so please keep him on his meds even with what the doctor says. If he insists you keep him off them then coffee will do the same thing as his meds as it too is a stimulant. Before my son was diagnosed, which he suffered with it for years because of a father that didnt want to admit anything was wrong, I would give him coffee before school if he had any tests to take & even he said it helped even though he hated coffee he knew it worked. I hope some of this helps & rememeber your son isnt trying to misbehave or be a brat trust me he just cant help himself sometimes. There are also alot of good books & websites to give you some ideas that may work with him. Diet also plays a big part obviously you know not a lot of sugar but also watch anything with red dye #40. It drove my son up the walls until I figured it out. You would be amazed what has red dye in it meds are one place to look for it. A kitchen timer is wonderful for him because kids with adhd do not react well to change so if he knows he has 5 minutes to start cleaning up then 3 then 2 & so on it makes it so much easier on him to transition. Sorry this is so long but well adhd can sometimes make you ramble on just a bit lol. good luck with this.

How old are they. Different things work better for different ages. What works for a 2 year old won't work for a 10 year old...

From what I know about adhd they are always changing what they want to do. So I would say, make it a game and each time he listens to you reward him with something special he likes to have or do. Is there a reason he would not be on his meds at all times? I know with my grandson, my daughter makes him stop and settle down and then speaks to him about his behavior and the gives him the reccomended time out (one min per year of age) but you have to slow him down and then speak easy and soft to him. Thats just what I have seen. My grandson still gives her a pretty good time of it, but she is able to stop him. He does great in pre-K. But keepin him busy helps. I wish you well.

Blessings

Hi H.,

Your son needs to feel better before he can act better. He would probably benefit from certain kinds of nutrition and establishment of routines. If you want some help, I am a Natural Health Consultant and have a masters degree in education. My number is ###-###-####

I am a mother of 3 children. A boy, 8 years old and two little girls 6 and 3. I have been married for almost 11 years. we have found (through trail and error) that a reward system works great with our kids. We have a chart in out hallway with daily chores and for each chore that they do they get a "ticket". Now each ticket is worth 10 cents and we always round up to the nearest dollar. They also get tickets for any good grades that they get from school, and if they do something like help each other or anything like that that is nice the reward is a ticket. It seems to work out good for us and we have been doing that for about a year and a half. Hope that I have been so help.
R. R

H. your son is acting out because when the medication wears off, ADHD children become more angry and violent. When he goes back on it, he does the same thing. Children who are ADHD need to be maintained on the med. When they have a break, they feel freer, but they drive everyone else around them crazy, and it causes social problems. This is why your son is withdrawn and anti-social. He is avoiding the ridicule he will get from other children because of his impulsive/uncontrolled behavior. It is not his fault that his brain works differently than what is expected. ADHD patients can be identified by cat scan. Stimulants calm them rather than wire them up. If an ADHD med is given to a child who is not ADHD, he would become stressed and shaky.

You can help him follow the rules by keeping him medicated. If you are seeing a doctor who tells you that he needs a break on holidays and weekends, this is old fashioned, and typically not helpful to the child. He wants to be off the medication because it gives him a sense of freedom or he finds it embarrassing that he has to take it. Unfortunately, his life is much more embarrassing without the medication. ADHD kids often have serious problems with their peers and adults when they are unmedicated.

Another good tip: Set up two morning alarms. Set one for when he has to get up for school, and another one for one hour earlier. Give him his pill or place his patch at the earlier alarm and let him go back to sleep. Mornings will become MUCH easier for the both of you.

Also, a good doctor is key in making this work. If you are not comfortable with the current doctor prescribing this medication, consider looking for another doc.

D. A., RN, Ph.D.