Does Any One Elses Child Not Sleep Well at Night?

Try reading "The Baby Whisperer"
She has great suggestions and you can usually get it at the library.

Hi R.,

My personal opinion is not to stress over it if you can. My youngest is almost 10 months old and is breastfed and in a cosleeper as well. I felt the same way as you not that my older two ever slept much better at 6 months. LOL I just followed his cue when it comes to feedings at night and am happy to say that he has been waking up 0 - 1 time a night for about the past month or month and a half. If you can hang in there, I'll bet you'll see her cut back drastically in the next couple of months. I think my son's being more mobile helped because now when he wakes up, he changes position or even rolls over and goes back to sleep for the most part.

Personally, and I know this will not make my post popular, but I don't understand what the big deal is. For you and me, nighttime feedings are nothing because at your daughter's age if not in the next few weeks, you should be able to nurse her right in the cosleeper. I am not tired the next morning unless I was up really late because my son wakes me briefly, I start to nurse him and fall back to sleep with him safely in his cosleeper.

I don't agree with CIO. I think the children "give up" more than they are learning to self soothe. I also don't believe that just because a child isn't sleeping through the night at 6 or 9 months old means they are going to have a life of horrible sleep like the Ferber books sounds like it suggests. I have three boys. They all slept the same as infants. My older two have absolutely no issues sleeping at that is in their own beds. Most of my friends have between 2 and 3 children and they all started the same way and NONE of them of sleep problems and they all sleep in their own beds.

I'm not saying this of you but sometimes I read responses from other parents (all sorts of questions, not just this thread) and I am shocked at some of the suggestions. It almost sounds like some parents don't want to be bothered or their sleep or lifestyle is more important. Why have children if you want your life to be exactly the way you want it within a few months? Again, not directing that at you at all but other people I've come across on this site.

I do wish you the best and hope you will hang in there. Try nursing her in the cosleeper if you don't now. It really is effortless.

Best of luck,
L.

http://APerfectMoment.MyArbonne.com

How much longer do you want to cosleep? maybe it's time for a crib? Or, maybe you'll just have to push off one of the feedings so it merges with the other, so you start cutting some of them out. Like let's say she wakes at 12, 3 and 5am for feedings. When she wakes at 12 hold her off until 1 for 3-5 days, then hold her off until 2 for 3-5 days then hold her off until 3am. Then only feed her at 3am. It probably wont be easy, and it will be tiring, but waking 3-5 times a night is pretty tiring!! You can also cluster feed her at night before bed, and in the morning when she wakes to compensate for the calories and help her get used to getting the extra calories during waking hours. Also, is she on solids? Some babies are ready for more solids sooner than others. You might have a girl with a great appetite. Maybe she needs more solids and dinner and breakfast?

It is perfectly normal for a 6 month old to wake and nurse as frequently as your daughter. The light at the end of the tunnel...she will not nurse at night forever. If she is still nutrient nursing, than stick with it, you're doing something so great for her. By the time my son was about a year it was obvious he was just suckling for comfort, and we were cosleeping as you are doing. At that point I thought I was just going to lose my mind and he was also old enough to understand "No nursies at night. Nursies go bye-bye and go to sleep at night". We reinforced this every time he woke up and rocked him and held him close. After a rough week he really got it. Unfortunately, 6 months is a little young to attempt this, but she will understand more around a year. Hang in there, it does get easier and eventually you'll sleep through the night again. These days, I laugh at the fact that my husband and I are sometimes up before the baby (now 19 mo.) after a full nights sleep.

My son woke every 1 1/2 to 2 hours until he was 10 months old. I would start him out in the co-sleeper, but he always ended up in our bed (due to my falling asleep while he was nursing).

I didn't know what to do, and resisted doing anything for awhile, because I liked having him so close, and I also felt guilty at the thought of changing. It wasn't until someone reassured me that I could just TRY something, that I felt better. In other words, you can try to change something to see how it works--if it works, great. If not, then don't stick with it. Go back to what you were doing or tweak things to figure out what works for you and your family in your present situation. You won't damage or ruin your child. Just wanted to reassure you up front, because this was one of my concerns. Also, I read about sleep, and how children this age need so many consecutive hours of uninterrupted sleep. So I wanted to do the best for me and my son. I myself had hit a wall, and couldn't continue with things as they were. I found that I was losing my temper with him during the day because I was so exhausted, and I was starting to resent him at times. So I knew when it was time to change.

What worked for us was moving my son first to a crib in our room. At first it was next to our bed, and eventually it was across the room. The downside was that I now had to get up and go to a chair in our room to nurse him. But he did seem to sleep a little better that way (although your baby is in a co-sleeper you said, not in your bed). Then we got him to cut down his nursing by occasionally having my husband go to him and soothe him when he woke up and cried. It wasn't long before we moved him to his own room. I was reluctant to move him out of the room, but it really was best for us--he slept better, probably because he didn't hear us during the night. And he wasn't even bothered by being moved to another room.

Take a look at the Dr. Sears "Baby Book," or www.drsears.com, for info on night nursing. He has some good ideas. Also, I read the book, "Good Night, Sleep Tight" (www.sleeplady.com).

Good luck whatever you decide to do, and remember to just do what works and forget the rest. Move at a pace that works for you.

My son was exactly the same way, unfortunately. What made it worse is he had a cousin who was just 14 days older than him and she was up to 8 hours a night at 4 months. I was so jealous, but I would not trade my baby for anyone! He was a big baby too and was a fast grower and was not ready for solid foods until he was about 7 or 8 months old (believe me, we tried). You might be able to get a little more sleepy time once she's into solid foods a little more, and also we used to try to keep hime up an hour later at night, so at least he would not wake up until 5...but sometimes that can backfire if they get overtired. My advice, you will live through it. We did. We did not like to let our baby cry it out, we did not have the heart. I would resist the temptation to put cereal in her bottle, they can still choke on it at this age. You may want to try rice cereal mixed with breastmilk or formula from a spoon.

Hi,

There is light at the end of the tunnel! My breastfed 18 month old is now finally sleeping 12 hours most nights (on occasion he wakes up and my husband is able to go to him and put him back to sleep with some teething medicine). He always wanted to be nursed back to sleep and woke up 3 to 5 times every night. (I believe it had a lot to do and still does have a lot to do with teething pain and then the want to be comforted back to sleep). Although we were exhausted, we waited until 12 months to start sleep training him using our own gentle Ferber type method. We customized it to fit our own comfort level (I should say MY comfort level because my husband could sleep through a bomb going off right next to him and would have let him cry all night) My husband took over during the night (with a lot of elbows from me to wake him up) and went to him as many times as he cried out, waiting for longer and longer periods until he fell back asleep. After a couple weeks, he realized that Mama wasn't coming to nurse him back to sleep and woke up less and less.

If you don't have someone to help you at night or you don't want to end co-sleeping...you can try the Pantley method.
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php

My first son co-slept with us until he was about 2 and then we transitioned him into a toddler bed. He still woke up once or twice a night to be covered up. He is now 6 and sleeps like a rock for 12 hours in his own bed.

Whatever you choose to do, just know that it will get better eventually. They only need you for a short time in life and they are grown up before you know it.

Hang in there!

I nursed 4 kids between 1 & 2 years. Yeah, sleeping is tough with nursing baby and I lived with it. After you start to give solid food, things will get better.

my daughter (5 1/2m) sleeps great at night (as of recently) and i think its because she eats alot before bed. she typically does a stage 2 jar for dinner around 6, then a 4-5oz bottle around 730. she was, however, waking up often a few weeks ago when she learned to roll over. she'd roll in her sleep (i believe) and couldn't get comfortable -- she wouldn't realize why. so it might not be food related at all. good luck!

all children are different when it somes to sleep, but i wouldsay what you describe is very common. my kids sleep ok at night but arent nappers. t.e first took forever to get to sleep and if she woke, was wide eyed awake. the baby every night wakes up screaming 3 times every 15 min the first hour she is laid down. its like her routine.
heres things to try. swaddling- my first needed swaddling till 9 months. some like just the legs, others just the arms. white noise machine really helped both. pacifier, if the baby will take one, she may just need the sucking to get back to sleep and not the milk. co-sleeping- i would stic to it. for my kids they sleep so much better with me. but even if they didnt, cosleeping is so easy to feed a waking baby and get to thier needs right away, which will not have them fully awake to the point where its harder to get them back asleep. its important to do things that allow you to get as much sleep as possible. i agree that you should naps when the baby naps. also, remember solids can also upset the stomach and teeth are always an issue. you can try to change up the routine one thing at a time like put the baby to bed earlier/later, change feeding times, less naps, ect. sometimes a change can help. and just know th more active the baby gets and with crawling, he may be more tired and sleep better. also both my kids sleep much better on the bed than to cosleeper, im not telling you to do it but it may help. and remember,it will pass. i read new moms lose an average of like 350 hours of sleep the first year. since its an average, that also means some moms are losing alot more. good luck.

Dear R.,
I had similar problems with my first son. He was sleeping through the night at 3 months and by six months he was up all the time nursing! It continued to get worse until by a year I was really frantic and tired. I would highly recommend a book by Dr. Richard Ferber called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" (or something along that title line). It was an amazing book that gave me a glimpse of future problems I could have with my son at two, three and four if I let things continue on a downward spiral. I am happy to report that the Ferber technique and recommendations work extremely well but only if you follow them as they are provided. I tried my own version of it, and failed. Then I followed Dr. Ferber's instructions more dutifully, and it worked like a charm. The even better news was that I studied the book and I was able to completely avoid any sleeping problems with my 2 subsequent children! So, it works.
Good luck to you!
Love,
L. Lundy
Author of "The Super Allergy Girl (TM), Allergy & Celiac Cookbook"
www.thesuperallergycookbook.com

Have the same problem-My son is 8 months old and breastfeeding. He's up twice on a good night and others just wants to breastfeed. We're having a hard time with taking advice. SOme say let him cry, but I haven't been able to do that.... Just so you know you're not alone. If you get any good advice-send it my way :)

Hi R.,

When my son was a baby, he woke several times in the night until after a year old. I had a cosleeper and really wanted to keep my baby with me, I didn't want to have to get out of bed to go and feed him when I had to get up early for work in the morning. But he was a noisy sleeper, he moved around a lot, I always heard him and was on the alert, waiting for him to need to be fed. I ended up moving him into his room, into his crib. I am not sure if he was sleeping better in there, or if I just didn't hear him as much, but it helped. Does your daughter cry to be bed every time she wakes up? I am not in any way or by any means a fan of crying it out, but I found that with my son, if I waited a few minutes, he didn't always cry. Sometimes he would fuss for 5 minutes or so and go back to sleep. It's hard to do that with them right there in your room, but when I moved him out, I did this.

Do you work outside the home? I ask this because a lot of times, a breastfed baby will "reverse cycle" if she is away from mom during the day, and not take much of the pumped milk you leave at daycare, and nurse more often during the evening/night hours or whenever she is with mom.

Good luck

We don't co-sleep, so I can't relate to that. My daughter is 6 months as well and exclusively breastfed until 2 weeks ago when we started solids. She slept 5 hours at 5 days old! The dr said it was because she cluster fed before bed. Now she goes to bed around 8pm and has been waking around midnight and then sleeping until 6am. She sleeps in her crib in her room. I'm not bragging... I'm getting to my point. I have to LET her sleep. She will rustle throughout the night, but unless she cries, I let her be so she has learned to put herself back to sleep. Don't we all turn over and rustle about a bit in our sleep? Maybe your daughter wakes during the night and needs you and some breastfeeding to go back to sleep? If you still want to co-sleep, try to get her sooth herself back to sleep and don't "pop a booby in her mouth" at each little whimper.

Personally, my children always woke at night to nurse. I found that following their rhythm rather than trying to control it was what worked for us. They both took a LONG time to sleep through the night, but now they are very good sleepers (in fact better than others I know who were more scheduled).

Good luck. Follow your instints. I feel we often trust others and books before we trust our good sense and senses. I work from home and had the opportunity to nap when they napped.

Good luck.

Hi R.,

Our daughter turned 1 on May 15th, and she JUST started sleeping through the night...and I mean last night and the night before!

She would wake up and I would (against everyone's advice) still give her a bottle (she stopped nursing 4/7). I never would have done that with my other 2 kids, but it's made life so peaceful for everyone else in the middle of the night.

I already know before reading everyone else's posts, that I will most likely be the "odd man out" with my advice, but I say feed her when she wants and don't worry about it. I wouldn't let her cry it out, we've done that and it will eventually work, but they eventually learn to sleep through the night also...I look at those middle of the night feedings as extra snuggle time with your baby...and you see already how fast they grow!

I wish I new then with my first, what I know know - I think she'd be a better sleeper!!

Best wishes to you
J.

Hi R.
Hope your baby let you sleep some last night. Mostly I like to tell my story on here, and usually people think they have it easy, but I am going to say that all babies require different amounts of sleep. As long as the MD is satisfied at check ups all is well, relax, but remember to always mention your thoughts that she is not sleeping well. He will ask more questions.
My story: Peter seemed to be a child that required little sleep even as a newborn. By 5 months he was shimmying out of the crib. By 7 months he was walking everywhere. By 9 months he took no daytime nap because if he did he didn't sleep at night. By the time he was about a year old, he would go to bed at 8 PM and then wake up about 10 PM. Till he was about 3 yo, he would run around our bed for the rest of the night. MD said he was fine, growing and developing ahead of schedule. I required more sleep than that. As a SAHM I tried keeping him busier, more exercise, less exercise, more mental stimulation, less mental stimulation. Finally at age 5, we told him he could do anything he wanted at night but must stay in his bed. He had his bed loaded with toys, and books. He read before he went to Preschool, and played every sport well. Today, he is a lawyer, married, has our first grandchild on the way, and his wife's only comment is he doesn't require much sleep, admitting however that he might sleep a bit more than 2 hours in 24, perhaps 4 in 24. I couldn't ask for a nicer adult child, but there were years when we wanted to pull our hair out. There was never a solution, but I always said if I had another like that I would pursue medical treatment. We had twins when he was 14. One of the twins slept about4-6 hours in 24, liked to wake the other twin, by throwing stuff in her crib. When I asked the MD about it, he asked about the boys' sleeping patterns. When I mentioned our son and told how I felt, his response was well then she is doing quite well, isn't she?
I have never had anyone say their child didn't sleep much after hearing my story, usually they can change the child's schedule by reducing nap times etc. I hope you enjoyed my story and that it gives you some kind of relief.
I am a SAHM of 4, including the twins who will graduate from HS soon. With our older son being 19 when the girls were born, I am probably old enough to be your mom. Are you able to talk to mom or your mother in law? The stories may just be fascinating.
May God bless you with peace, rest, and wisdom as you care for your young daughter.
K.

R.,
Although you may have been through this already have you tried swaddling her. My son needed it until about 6-7 months old. Also is there alot of noise in your room (eg does your husband breath loud or snore) because that maybe waking her up without any of you realizing. It maybe time to move her into her own room or further away from the bed so she does not hear you. Also does she fall asleep by herself or does she need to nurse to fall asleep. You maybe able to giver her a pacifier to satiate her need for sucking. Have you started her on solids yet? Maybe she needs more then she is getting? Again my son was a really bad napper/sleeper until about 8 months and then the sleeping turned around (not napping) and he would sleep 12-13 hours at night without waking up. He never was a great napper and still (at 2 1/2 years) is just ok, but since the night sleeping has been adequate since 8 months, I have stopped hoping for long naps. Good luck and it will pass.

MY SYMPATHY!!! it is the worst not to get a good night sleep...I have many sleepless ones myself...
I found a very big difference in my little girls sleeping patterns when I actually moved her out of my room, about 51/2 mos....I would start her in her bassinet/crib and then mid- night sometime (4 ish )I would bring her to co-sleeper and gradually extend the time in the crib. It is an important age to start to get a rythym down for bed time, book reading etc. and perhaps in their own space. I know for my daughter and many others, they are so keyed in to hearing us, that that can keep them more alert, breathing moving, etc., even smelling your milk.
There are also mixed reviews on this one, but at 6 mos they can go longer stretches without eating, so really she probably could feed 1-2 times a night and be just fine, I think we had my husband go and give her her pacifier when she woke and she would go right back to sleep, she just wanted to suck, if she fussed any more, obviously she was hungry and I would go feed, but some people are not pacifer people, it worked for us, she was a major sucker. She eventually realized that it wasn't worth it to wake for just the pacifer...and would sleep longer stretches.
My pediatrician recommended to get rid of the pacifier between 9-12 mos, that is the best window she said...I unfortunately did not heed this advice, because it was working, but she only sleeps with it at night and it falls out...
I hope that this is a bit helpful and the best of luck to you.
MCM

My first child woke every 2-3 hours for the first year of her life. She napped fine. I believe the problem was that she nursed to sleep - and never used a pacifier. She'd wake up and the only way to get herself back to sleep was to nurse. She was also a fairly large baby - and so I do believe she needed to eat more to keep up with her growing. I thought I was going to lose my mind from sleep deprivation - it really does get to you. I now wish I hadn't had so much coffee to get me through the days, but instead had more water.
For the past two years she has been an excellent sleeper. She goes to bed willingly and stays asleep. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Hello!

Nap when she naps!!
At least once and maybe twice during the day, nap when she does--even a little bit! It's a passing season nd well worth your sanity.

I have 4 kids, age range 2-4-11-16! As babies/toddlers they have always been "self serve" breast fed co-sleepers at night, and they do seem to drink often during the night, at least until the time that they do eat. My littlest has been enjoying silken tofu!

Hang in there--I truly understand the sleep deprivation. One thing for sure, life changes as they grow!

Julie

with your pediatrician's ok, try some baby rice cereal
at bed time. (make it more liquid then solid) this helps
to satify the baby and she may sleep 4 hours for you.
Hope this helps.

Hi R.,

Try giving her a bowl of baby cereal before she goes to bed. Maybe that will fill up her tummy so you'll be able to get some sleep. It worked with all three of my kids. :)
Good luck