Doctor Who Won't Put in an IUD

Updated on December 20, 2009
F.S. asks from Whiteland, IN
30 answers

Hi I'm currently 6 months pregnant with my third child, this pregnancy was unplanned, but I'm not upset about it because regardless I love being pregnant and having beautiful babies. Recently i went to my OB and my husband picked up a model of an IUD and we were discussing it because thats the kind of birth control I want to make sure I dont get pregnant agian until we are ready. So when the doctor came in my husband said ' This is what my wife wants to use as birth control, but wont those little strings hurt me?" (lol funny how even at the ob's office he will still find something that has to do with him) My doctor replied " No it shouldn't but I dont like putting those in because one its a forgien object and your uterus will try to reject it and two because its a direct line for infection to travel up into the uterus so I dont put them in." Heres my question does he have to right to refuse my wishes of wanting that birth control after I have the baby? I feel like thats the only way I have an ALMOST perfect chance of not getting pregnant. I won't take the pill and the shots make me gain weight plus im not into needles and the possiblites of blood clots and stoke, (which i already feel at risk for because I have cronic hypertentioin). I have my mind set on the IUD so what can I do?
thanks

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S.E.

answers from Cleveland on

I would accept that he does not provide that service. After all, not all stores provide the same service. After you have the baby look for another doctor that provides the care that you need and want. Even if you could get him to provide one for you, would you want to go to him if there was a problem? Start shopping around now for a new doctor.

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C.

answers from Cleveland on

Yes, he does have the right to refuse. Think of it as a business and he just doesn't offer that service or product. Although I agree that it seems strange for him to have a sample in his office.

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S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I think your doctor has every right (and the knowledge and experience) to disapprove of the IUD.
You should be glad of his warning.
Otherwise, seek out another doctor who is not so concerned about his or her patients.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

I see a couple of issues - you've made up your mind you want it, and according to your post he "doesnt' like to put them in...so i don't put them in". Which is it? He doesn't like to or won't?

Both of you need to have an open-minded conversation about the risks and benefits of whether to use the IUD or whether something else might be better for you to use. He probably has a reason for not liking the IUD's and feel that something else might be safer, but find out what basis he has for not liking IUD's and whether or not he will actually do it.

Further, I would definitely seek a second opinion...and have the same conversation with the second doctor about risks/benefits, and whether there's something else that would help since you don't want to take the pill or do shots.

For what it's worth - and good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Mansfield on

I highly recommend the Mirena IUD...(i've had mine 4 years and have NO problems at all and this is the only form of birthcontrol that I did not get pregnant on.) so if you decide to use this form of birth control and your current OB will not, find another doctor who will. I love my OB but if he were unwilling to do as I wished, I would find another one.Did he offer other choices for birth control or just shut you down on this one? I discussed the IUD at length with my doctor before making that decision and none of your doctors issues ever came up. He does have a right to not use this form of birth control with his patients but you also have a right to not use him as your doctor. My ob has an ad for the laser treatment that is hair removal and works for vericous (?spelling) veins so I asked about that and he said nope he doesn't do it, so I guess that is not that uncommon. Hope this helps :)

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K.O.

answers from Indianapolis on

F., you have 3 children; why do you want more? In one way i do agree with your ob; but, there are other alternatives out there other than the pill. I read an article that gives the option of putting a slowly disolving bit over the ovary tubes that stay there for up to 5 years. And yes, it is not foolproof! You could get preggers quickly or never. This works differently in each woman that it has been used on. Think about ending having babies. No more dirty dipers. No more midnite feedings. A chance to go without having to carry bags & bags of stuff for the little ones. Wow, maybe even go on vacation with hubby without kids altogether!!!! Now, wouldn't that be something to think about not having anymore babies? Good luck.

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S.E.

answers from Cleveland on

No your Dr. should not refuse your wishes, and technically isn't allowed. But, really research the IUD before you get set on it. I had the Mirena, and honestly aside from the wonderful bonus of not having to remember to take it, there were alot of side effects. Weight gain, headaches, and I spotted the first 36 days straight! Any form of birth control can lead to side effects. If you and your husband don't wont anymore kids, why doesn't HE take of it this time? I think after giving birth to three of your children and carrying them for nine months, it's his turn!! Unless you want to leave that option open..... But I thought an IUD would be the best answer too, and honestly I think theres a chance of unwanted side effects with any form of birth control! But if thats what you really want to do, your Dr. should absolutely respect your wishes!! tell him you may have to go elsewhere for treatment! Good luck, and congrats on the new baby :)

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K.V.

answers from Columbus on

Yes a doctor can refuse to do a procedure and a pharmicist can refuse to dispense bc if they feel (religous or not) that its wrong. But my questions is if he is so against it why does he have one in the exam room? Secondly does he have a partner in the practice that will do the procedure? My SIL was asked by here doc if she wanted her tubes tied after her last son was born. Her answer was yes but her husband refused and needless to say the doctor will not do anything without her husbands okay. Needless to say hes been unemployed for two years and has no interest in finding a job.

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

As a professional, it's important to do your "homework". If you stop and think about it, he's making a statement based on the risks and complications that may occur. It IS his responsbility to tell you this.

As a coach and trainer and posture alignment specialist, I do the SAME thing. I recommend they avoid surgery because....I recommend this supplement or herbal over this because.......I don't do this exercises because.......I don't use this piece of equipment BECAUSE...... THEN, I let the client make up their mind from there. RARELY and I mean RARELY, have I ever in over 30 years had someone not take my recommendations because I feel I give them other options and help them to understand their bodies and what other options they have and the issues they face if they do or don't do this or that.

EDUCATION is IMPERATIVE in the medical, sports and health fields. Are you REALLY willing to risk all of this? Ask yourself if you may risk more complications by "having your own way".

There have been a rare few cases, as a gymnastics and cheerleading coach, that I refused to teach a child a certain skill BECAUSE they weren't willing to learn other skills first. This happened when spring came around and it was time for cheerleading tryouts. It's like trying to teach someone calculus before addition and subtraction. In skills like gymnastics, it's a HUGE risk factor that I would NEVER take personally or for a child. I can only remember two times in over 30 years that people went somewhere else. That was always fine with me. I NEVER, NEVER NEVER, in that many decades had kids with major injuries and VERY FEW minor ones as a result.

That's probably more info than you want to hear, but I'm trying to make a point here. If I were you, I'd be GRATEFUL this doc has the integrity to tell you this and wants to do what is best for both of you. There ARE those out there who would rather take the cash and never say a word. BE GRATEFUL and look into other options.

What if it creates problems that result in you not being about to take care of your kids? Something to think about...

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C.L.

answers from Columbus on

I would find a doctor that does offer the IUD. It's God's gift to woman that like to plan their families and not have unexpected blessings occur in their lives, LOL. I want two kids and currently have a 2 year old daughter. It's such a relief to know I am the one that will decide when #2 comes along, because right now I can't afford two children in diapers. She's almost potty trained, but not consistant yet. Until she is, I'm holding off on the second one. Mirena empowers me to make that choice.

I've had it for 1 1/2 years now and haven't had any problems. I can't feel it (or any strings), and my husband for sure can't feel any strings..typical man question :) I wish this was around for my sister when she was having kids....she has 5 that are out of control, haha (but I love each and every one of them!!). But seriously- whether you're done having kids altogether or just for now, it's a great method to use that still allows you to have options and make the choice, rather than a permanent solution of either you or your partner getting "fixed". I say go for it. If you don't like it or it has adverse affects on you, have it removed. No harm done and chalk it up to a lesson learned.

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

Hi F.! Yes, your doctor has the right to refuse. Instead of fighting it just find another OB to put it in for you.

As for why he has the model of the IUD in his office? In all probability, since IUD's are so popular, many people ask questions about what they are, how they work, what they look like, and such. It's used as a reference form.

Your doctor gave a logical explanation for why he won't do it. I agree with the poster who said to treat it like a business and since they don't offer that service, go to someone who does.
Good luck!

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I would tell your doc that that is what you want and if the doc won't do it, then find a doctor that will. I have the Mirena and haven't had any side effects, other than some cramping.

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P.D.

answers from Cleveland on

I'd find another doctor. But I also have to say that he has some good points. Do some more research on your own and then decide. You have a little time.

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J.R.

answers from Cleveland on

I think it's odd that he has a sample of an IUD in his office if he doesn't do them. I think you should ask him for clarification -- maybe he PREFERS not to do them, but he WILL if a patient really wants it.

I'm not a lawyer so I can't really comment if he has the right to refuse a particular treatment, but I'm not sure it's worth a battle. It might be more reasonable to just find a different OBGyn that's a better match for you. (After you deliver this baby, that is.)

Incidentally, I've had an IUD for about 15 months now, and I absolutely love it. My OBGyn highly recommended it. I've had no problems with it whatsoever, and no - my husband doesn't feel the little strings - LOL!

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N.N.

answers from Columbus on

Your doctor does have the right to refuse to put in an IUD. It's his practice. He's not refusing you care, just that procedure. He has legitamite reasons for not using them and it's his practice. So you have a couple of choices, 1) if you like your dr and trust him, ask him what he would recommend for you and 2) find another dr. to do the procedure. After my last child I waited for 2 years on my husband to do his part and "get fixed." It didn't happen. So I talkes with my dr. about what I could do, because I was tired of being on the pill and didn't want any more babies. I had heard about the essure. It may not be for you because it is permanent. My dr. said that he had heard about it, had some patients who had had it done, but did not do it himself. He practices at a Catholic hospital, so he has to be careful with what birth control options he uses. He referred me to another dr who does do the procedure, I had it done and all is well. I have heard many horror stories about IUD's and an equal number of women who have and like them. Discuss it with your dr. with an open mind after the baby is born. Then either go with his option or find someone else to do it. Good Luck.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

F.-

Your doctor ABSOLUTELY has the right to refuse to implant the IUD. And, you ABSOLUTELY have the right to get another opinion. You are the patient. But, they also pay hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in malpractice insurance as OB/GYN is one of the riskiest specialties. Many faith-based hospitals (especially Catholic based) don't allow for these procedures or dispensing of birth control medications. It's entirely legal for them to have these policies protected by the Constitution.

However, first, get all your facts about Mirena. It's easily accessible at Mirena-us.com

As someone who's been in the pharmaceutical industry for 10 years, I did a little research for you. Here are some things to ask about straight from the FDA's approved information about Mirena:

1. Group A streptococcal infection has been reported; strict aseptic technique is essential during insertion
2. Before using Mirena, consider the risk of PID (pelvic inflammatory disease)
3. Bleeding patterns become altered, may remain irregular and amenorrhea
may ensue.
4. Perforation may occur during insertion. Risk is increased in women
with fixed retroverted uteri, during lactation, and postpartum.
5. Embedment in the myometrium and partial or complete expulsion may occur.
6. Persistent enlarged ovarian follicles should be evaluated

Adverse events reported
1. Uterine/vaginal bleeding alterations - 51/9%
2. Amenorrhea - loss of period - 23.0%
3. intermenstrual bleeding/spotting - 23.4%
4. Abdominal/pelvic pain - 12.8%
5. Ovarian cysts - 12%

Mirena is not a bad product, but there's a lot of information you should have before going through the procedure to see if it is the correct option for you.

Get a second opinion, and a third if you need consensus.
Just be informed. I work with a lady (38 years old) who has Mirena and may have developed diabetes after getting it because of the hormone levels it has to create to be an effective birth control.

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J.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

Just do your research. I looked into it a lot and I got the Mirena IUD. For months I was having serious issues. I went back to the same obgyn a lot and they did several tests and couldn't find anything. I had to go to a urologist and be checked out. Months later my family doctor did a CT scan to see if my severe pain was kidney stones. They found that the IUD had punctured my uterus! For months no one could figure that out! I had to have emergency surgery to have it removed. It was free to get the IUD through insurance but $4000 for the emergency surgery and think of all the co pays and medicines I had to pay for months of Dr.s trying to find what was wrong! It was very painful! They say it only happens to 1 in 1000 women. Well it happened to my sister in law as well. So we must be special! 2 in 2000? Good luck whatever you do, just be careful.

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S.S.

answers from Cleveland on

I am afraid of the mirena IUD (the size of it is pretty intimidating). About 2.5 years ago I had chosen the Implanon insert instaed of mirena (i have three yr old twins - did and still do not want any surprises :-)), anyways the implanon is inserted into the upper arm near the bicep. It is the size of a tooth pick and insertion didn't hurt. You don't know its there - for three years. I love it becuase its 99.999 effective. The only thing is that i think it caused some pimples and increases hunger resulting in (which i have since lost plus more). I have to have it out next June and think i will get another one inserted. Their website is implanon.com. I would suggest checking it out.

M.S.

answers from Columbus on

The thought of an IUD scared me, initially. However, I did research and found that they were now safer than they had been 20+ years ago. I had the Mirena IUD put in after my third child, over 5 years ago. I loved it. No periods, no cramping, etc. I had it for 4 years and ended up getting pregnant. The IUD had gotten wrapped up in the uterine tissue and I had to have it surgically removed. The doctor's office had never heard of this happening and most the staff had the Mirena, themselves. I know that my situation was rare, but it did happen. Afterwards, my husband did admit that he could feel the string. I thought he was exaggerating, but that's what he said. It's a shame, because I did enjoy having the Mirena. I'm explaining my incident so that you know that this IS a possibility. What about the "diaphragm". I think there's another name for it,(not sure they call it that anymore) but it's basically something you insert. If the doctor has given you ALL the options and you still want the Mirena/IUD, then find someone who will insert it for you. Possibly another doctor in the practice? I've heard of doctors thoroughly explaining the risks/etc. hoping a patient will change their mind, but not refusing to go along with the patient's decision. Did you ask if he's personally seen a great deal of problems, prompting him to outright refuse this choice? It's YOUR body and your choice at the end of the day. I'd try to find out exactly what this doctor's experience is with the issues he's talked about. If it's all mostly theory, then hopefully you can find someone else to do it. But, if he's seen a lot of infections and issues like I had, then maybe it's not as uncommon as we'd like to think. If you do find someone to insert the IUD, be vigilant and observant. You could ask at your yearly exams to have them do a check to make sure it is in place (by ultrasound). Also, if you are not having periods for a length of time and you suddenly have a period, have it checked out! This happened to me-hadn't had periods in over 3 years, then out of the blue, had a period about 3 months before I found out I was pregnant. I'm assuming I had gotten pregnant at that time and miscarried. The literature says spotting is normal, so I didn't think to check it out.
Sorry this is all kind of jumbled and long. I wish you all the luck in your quest! :)

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M.C.

answers from Houston on

Make an appoint with a doctor who does and talk to him about the concerns your previous doctor had. At my six week postpartum appt I told them I was thinking about an IUD and the doctor just came and put one in. I did not want to be tied down to pills. Mirena s still a low dose hormone. Your dr has either strong concerns or his office gets perks for pushing other bc methods. Call him and tell him it's what you want and if he won't do it you want a refferal for a second opinion.

And you'll be able to feel the strings too...

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M.E.

answers from Columbus on

I would listen to him. I have two sisters that had an IUD and it sent their system off track. One ended up losing an ovary because of it. I am not currently using anything, but I used to use the Nuvaring which has a very low dose of hormone. My hubby never ever felt it at all.

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M.B.

answers from Columbus on

Hi F.-
This seems odd as I thought most doctors think IUDs are fine. I would imagine doctors can refuse your wishes if they disagree with them but IUDs are proven safe and effective. Maybe you should look into a different source to get the IUD(maybe planned parenthood would do it?) or simply ask your doctor for a referral to a doctor that would put one in for you. I just got a paragaurd IUD about a week ago and I absolutely love it. I feel as though it is much less intrusive on my body than the hormonal pills,patches,rings,and shots were that I have tried in the past. It uses no hormones at all and the only side effect is cramping after insertion..which after having a few kids is nothing to us moms! You have plenty of time so I would seriously discuss it with your doctor again and explain that if he won't do it you would like to find someone that will! Good luck!
M.

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J.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

I had the Mirena IUD put in after I had my first child and I LOVED it! The reasons why I loved it was because you didn't have to worry about taking a pill every day, no weight gain, lighter periods, my cramps that I had with periods went away, and you couldn't even feel it in there. It does hurt alittle bit to get put in, but nothing compared to child birth!

If your doctor won't put it in, I would just go and find another doctor who will. My doctor highly recommended it and she even told me that is what birth control her and her husband were using.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

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R.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

THere are two types of IUD, or there was 7 years ago when I had mine put in. I went for the non-hormonal one, and didn't have any problems with it. I had it in place 4-5 years. As a nurse, I would hope that I have the option of refusing something I don't feel comfortable with, but I also have the duty to find someone who can give my patient what they need if I can't. So ask your doctor for a referral to someone who does use an IUD. If he can't give you the referral, time to look elsewhere on your own.
Good luck,
Roise

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H.H.

answers from Waco on

Hi, I think you should do what works best for you and your family. I am currently using the IUD Mirena Because i am done with having children right now. I have a 3 year old and a 17 month old. I've had it since my second child was born and haven't had any problems. My doctor thought it would be great for me since i have such a hard time taking the pill. I would do what you think is best for you. Your doctor might not like them but all doctors have different opinions and different views. My doctor said that the chances of the IUD getting lost or Causing infections was very rare (i asked) and i shouldn't worry. SO i hope this helps?

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

I don't believe he has the right to refuse to install the IUD, but give you all the infomation that he can so that you can make a truely informed choose. I have known a few people that have had bad reactions to the IUD's. Some of them do contain medication just as the pills & shots do, but some don't. My sister did get pregnant with an IUD in, it had got bumped out of position. The doctor had to remove the IUD, but she lost the baby also. No birth control is completely save and 100% effective... but doctors have more infomation on your health and what is available out there and can give you their best suggestions. But it is your choose what you get... if you are sure that is what you want & he will not install it, you can always go elsewhere to get what you want.

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Legally, your doctor can refuse because this is an optional procedure, and if he feels uncomfortable or irresponsible doing it, you don't want him to do it, anyway. If you're completely set on the IUD, ask your doctor for a recommendation, or call the hospital where you will be giving birth and ask for a recommendation. However, I would hear your doctor out, first. I don't know anything about IUDs and have no experience with them, but if you have used and liked this doctor in the past, it cannot hurt to sit down and talk seriously with him about his concerns and experiences. Then you can decide for yourself.

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B.A.

answers from Toledo on

F., I don't think he has any decision making rights, if it's an option and you want it, you should be able to have it and if he doesn't let you, then you find a better OB! I had my IUD for almost 5 years before we decided to have another baby. It was the greatest form of birth control I could take...i couldn't do pills, made me too moody! This body rejection thing and infection thing he's talking about, obviously is not from experience, i've never heard of any-body having any problems w/them...and i certainly didn't at all! It even stops your period after a while...and i swear i didn't have to wear a tampon for 4 years! Sometimes had spotting, but that's it. And believe me i've researched it and have asked my Midwife/OB many questions and it's perfectly natural to not have a cycle! I'm sure you would love it! Good luck.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

There are 2 types of IUDs. There's the old-fashioned copper IUS and there's the new Merina that has some progesterone.
First you should be totally informed of what they are. They are abortive devices. They make your uterus inhospitable so that when an egg is fertilized it can't implant. Personally, I don't have a problem with that, many women don't, but I don't think that doctors do a good job of explaining this to women who are interested. The Merina does let off progesterone that suppresses ovulatation, but it only works most the time and the IUD is kind of the back-up so that when an egg is released and gets fertilized, you don't get pregnant.
Second, your doctor is correct. Many women's bodies do reject them. You actually have to stay 30 minutes after it's inserted to make sure you don't go into shock. My friend did and ended up with heart palpitations and uncontrollable shaking so they immediately removed it. They come with a much higher rate of ectopic pregnancy than any other birth control device. They also can introduce foreign bacteria, although if you and your husband aren't sleeping around, it's not such a big issue.
Another issue is if you are breastfeeding. Really the only hormonal option you have is the mini-pill. You could get the copper IUD, but not Merina because of the progesterone.

Your doctor has the right to provide any elective procedure, ESPECIALLY when there are 100 other options, as in the case of birth control. There are plenty of doctors who will do it. In fact, many county health services will do the copper IUD for free. I know Marion County Health Department does.

After all the research, I decided to just chart my cycles, track my fertility and use condoms when necessary. It works really well and I don't have to worry about foreign objects or artificial hormones in my otherwise-unmedicated body. If you'd like information on that, PM me!

Good Luck with your decision:)

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I would have a conversation with him about it to get more information. Find out why he doesn't like it in a more non-threatening conversation, as it sounds he got very defensive very fast. If he still doesn't want to do it and you still want it then you just have to go to a new OB.

On a side note of blood clot possibilities: Putting any of the hormones in your body puts you at risk for blood clots: the shot, the pill, the patch and yes the IUD does too. I have a blood clotting disorder, and have to find alternative options because I can't take any of the birth controls. It is believed birth control that does not have estrogen is safe and won't cause blood clots or at least the risk is lower but my regular doctor said with my case it would be safer for me to be pregnant than be on birth control...and pregnancy can be avoided other ways. I've been on birth control once, lowest dose possible, and got a blood clot two weeks after starting it. That's when I was 18, it was for PMS. Pregnancy can be prevented other ways, I have only one child. (Other ways take a lot of extra work but for me, it's worth my life :))

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