Doc Says I Have Too, but It Is So Hard!!!

There is a lot of info about how the "cry-it-out" method is terrible. Here is just one of many sites:
http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/

My 3 year old still doesn't sleep thorough the night- ever. Some kids are just that way.

My 1.5 year old started sleeping through the night before she was 1, around 8-9 months if I remember right.

umm....your daughter goes to sleep at 8 and doesn't wake up until 3? Then she sleeps some more until 7 or 8? Sounds about right to me. I never went to school to be a pediatrician....nor do I claim to know all there is to know about kids....but I am a mom. My mama instinct says your daughter is just fine getting up once during the night. If YOU are okay with it then I would just ignore your pediatrician and keep doing what YOU know is okay.
L.

Absolutely NOT!!! There are three doctors I can quote that would HIGHLY disagree: Harvey Karp, Dr. Sears, and Dr. Faye.....I would get another doctor. I think 7 hours is considered sleeping through the night!!! Anything over 5 hours is......not that that is all they need to sleep but for definition purposes......

I think you need a different doctor! That sounds like wonderful sleep to me! In the past I have tried to make things better and only made things worse by changing them. I don't think I would change a thing. I don't think children naturally sleep through the night till they are around 2, and maybe not even then.
Dont let your baby cry, it is totally unnecessary, she is still so young.

My 13 month old daughter just started sleeping through the night when I stopped nursing. Before she woke up 2 times a night to nurse. Things that I've done then and now (when needed):
- let her fuss for a few minutes as long as its not a full fledged cry to see if she will go back to sleep. She still wakes up once but within 30 seconds to a minute shes put herslf back to sleep.
- I frequently give her a sippy cup of water to take to bed with her.
- I put her to bed awake with her sippy cup and toy that sings. She may play a little some nights and then there are nights like tonight where she was a sleep within about 3 minutes. Occasionally she will fight going to sleep, but usually that's when she is overly tired and requires a little patience to get to sleep. If you can get the little one to go to sleep on their own initially its easier for them to do it throughout the night.
- I've established a bedtime routine so she knows what to expect, and to help her settle down. we brush teeth, tell daddy night night, read two books, and then i rock her for a few minutes while she drinks her water or juice. Then I lay her in her bed say good night and leave the room.
- I'm not a mom that can handle the CIO method, but one thing I've used previously is the Super Nanny technique (yes the one from tv). The child may cry, but you're in the room so you know she's okay.

I hope that helps...just do what you feel is right for you and your little one...eventually you will get more than a couple hours at a time.
Hang in there and just love that baby!

K.

You don't HAVE to do it if that isn't what you want to do. This site will have lots of people for & against CIO. In my personal opinion, I would've loved it if either of my kids were sleeping as well as yours at a year old. I listen to my ped on anything medical. But, not parenting. If this is working for you and your family, then leave it alone. Changing may lead to your daughter sleeping worse.

My doctor wasn't raising my kids. I was. I did what I wanted, and guess what.... they're both great kids. One's 22 and the other is 13. My older daughter had many sleep issues and never slept through the night well. My younger daughter slept like a log from 5 weeks on. I tried CIO and it broke my heart, and upset my daughter so much that to this day it's one thing I regret -- and I only tried it for a couple days! Use your instinct with your daughter. You don't have to do what your doctor says.

I'm not sure what the medical benefit of this is supposed to be? Your doctor gives you medical advice, not parenting advice. And there is no law saying his opinion is the right one. Did he give you sound medical concerns that would be addressed by not giving her a 3am bottle? If your routine is working for you and not harming your child, than why change it?

My son is 13 months and he still doesnt sleep through the night. My doctor said that it was normal and fine that he still wanted to eat during the night. He said every child is different and has their own preferences. Some kids do some dont. My son still wakes 1 to 2 times a night and I still give him milk cause it helps him back to sleep. That and his binky. I wouldnt stress to much about it though really.

What helped me though, is pushing back his bedtime. I tried to put him down about 7 or 8 but I found that watching his signs for tiredness really worked. I would see him rub his eyes, or fuss a little bit and when he did that I would start the routine, of dinner, bath, bottle and bed. Now he goes to bed around 6 or 6:30 depending on our day and he goes to bed without any trouble. I just didnt realize that he was overtired and needed more sleep, and after that I found that he sleeps a lot better at nighttime and when he does wake its only long enough to change his diaper while he drinks about 4 ounces of milk and then he's back to sleep.

Also if you are trying to cut out the bottle, try lessening his ounces that you are giving her, like if you are giving her 6 ounces at night, go down to 5, then 4 etc until she doesnt need it anymore. Also try putting water in it.

It gets easier just hang in there!

Don't let her cry! It's so harsh. I did that with my oldest boy, moving him out of my bed when he was only 6 weeks old, letting him cry it out etc. because that's what everyone told me to do. Instead I have a very maladjusted son that can't form loving relationships with anyone. He does have developmental problems, yes, but now that I've been able to read so much I can see that if I hadn't done that, he may still have the developmental problems but he may not have had the other problems forming bonds with anyone, etc; we'll never know. He's completely wrapped up in a little shell.

With each of my other children, they slept longer with me until my youngest, she slept with us for just over 3 years and moved out when she chose to. She's actually the quietest most well rounded little one that I have (she'll be 5 in June). I really do think that if I'd let each of my children stay with me at least the first year and given them the comfort that THEY needed at the time (not what some one else thought they needed based on a 10 minute office visit) that my children would have a better time of it.

Actually, your daughter sounds like she has a good sleep cycle. She may not need that extra feeding so might try weaning her off of it. Do you give your milk or water? Try giving her water. Or try giving her less and less over a few weeks so she gets used to it. You really shouldn't be giving her milk if you are because you're going to rot her teeth. But a small amount of water is fine. As for not changing her, are you out of your mind? I know none of us would like to spend our night in a squishy diaper that is starting to burn our nether regions. We complain about nursing homes doing that to our elderly and you want to do that to you daughter? Just remember that she'll be taking care of you someday and our little ones do learn by example.

It's YOUR choice. My grandson has only been sleeping through the night for a couple months 2-3 maybe.. It happened so gradually that I didn't really notice. He's 20 months and we still expect an occasional bottle cry. Feed your child, CHANGE your child. They don't deserve to be scared or hungry or wet at night.

I think it sounds like she is a good little sleeper.
You dont HAVE to do what the doctor says... :)

Try giving her a bottle of water when she gets up - or a sippy cup of water.

Let her fuss when she wakes up - she may go back to sleep. But if she gets too upset, go get her.

My little girl was still getting up 1-2 times a night at 12 months. Now, at 15, she mostly sleeps all night.

If you are ok with getting up with her once in the night, I wouldnt worry about it. Both of my kids phased out their night feedings on their own.

Check out sleepyplanet.com and try "Sleepeasy solution". It worked, very well when my DS was 11 months old. Less difficult and more supportive than some of the others. Hang in there!

Let the little one cry it out. I'll bet you will not have to endure it very long. First night it was 30 minutes or so. The second night it was 15 to 20. The third night it was only 10 minutes. By the fourth it was a few whimpers, but she didn't fully wake up. Within a week we all slept all night. Now mine was younger than one year, so you may have to endure a longer period of time. This isn't cruel, though. Kids have to face all sorts of milestones and this is one of the easiest.

I would and still do get up at 3am if my baby wakes up. She may actually be hungry, that's 7 hours after she goes to sleep so I assume longer since she has eaten. Eventually she will sleep thru the night. My daughter is 16 months and occsionally wakes up in the middle of the night and I take her a bottle of milk and she goes right back to sleep.

My daughter, who is now 5yrs and an excellent sleeper, was anything but when she was a baby and toddler. She was colicy and miserable and constantly wanted to be held. I am not the mom to let a baby cry more than 10- 20 min if even that!
I ignored my doctor's advice to leave them alone to self soothe. It took until three years old but she is a great sleeper (sometimes too long now)
Trust your instincts if it is heartwrenching for you, and the crying is hysterical I feel it is better to give the attention and soothing than to withhold. It sounds as if your one year old only wakes to eat and goes back to bed that is pretty normal. When they are hungry- they are hungry.

What is your bedtime routine? If you do not have one, I suggest insisting on one. Teeth, books, turn the lights out and put her into her bed and sing to her or say prayers. Sit in there for a few mintues (if she stands, tell her it's night night) then tell her good night and leave the room. If she cries, let her do it for a few minutes then go back in. Do not pick her up but instead rub her back. You can decide what to do from here. Continue to go in/out every few minutes - increasing the amount of time in between, or you can sit by her crib and ensure her you are there. The one thing that you don't want to do (we did this) was make it so she can't go to sleep without you in the room. We did that with our daughter until she was 2.5 and then had to endure a few nights of crying it out but luckily it was never more than 15 minutes before she fell asleep.

I am not a big fan of CIO either - mostly b/c I can't do it! I would go w/ baby steps if you really want to try to get her through the night. You could go in and comfort her (sing, rub her back etc) but don't feed her or pick her up... even less of a change, pick her up, but don't feed her. Then move to not picking her up. Also let her cry for a few minutes before you go in, and stretch that time each time 5 min - 7 min etc. Do what YOU feel is right. Many babies aren't sleeping through the night at 1 year. Good luck.

All 3 of my kids stoped to wake up for bottle in the middle of the night around 15-18 months. Don't worry about it, they will learn to sleep on their own sckedule. My first boy's doc was the same way as yours and i was like you, but i gave it a try, after 4 hours of crying i gave up. Nothing good came out of it. My son was scared to stay in his crib, and it took me couple month of sitting next to crib and holding his hand untill he falls asleep. Yes, few months of "no sleep" nights for me. Thanks, doc!
My second son was easy with it, but he also learned to sleep through the night after he turned one, as well as my daughter.

It Is hard but worth it. I let both my boys cry it out. Best thing I did ad a parent. My whole house goes to bed painlessly and gets a good night's rest :)

that's the best advice I could give as well. It would take three days tops. She's not hurting, so there's nothing to worry about. I know people will disagree, but if you continue to be at her beck and call, she will only learn that you are exactly that - at her beck and call. At 1 she shouldn't need to wake up for a bottle, so it sounds like she's gotten used to you waking up with her and feeding her.