Do your kids have a lot of friends? My son is 5 and he says he only plays with 2 kids? Is this normal? Should I help him or just let him play with who he wants?
Older son is well-liked by his peers but doesn't have a bunch of super close friends. He has a couple that he likes and trusts. He doesn't like some of the teen shenanigans that go on.
Younger son has 2 very close homeschooling friends.
My sons are very different from one another, but one common thing I notice is that boys seem to be more independent, and do not need big circles of friends the way some girls do.
My son doesnt have many friends. He knows EVERYONE. In fact the 1st grade teacher says that he has K groupies, but at daycare and at home, he usually only plays with a handful of friends. I was like that too, all the way into high school.
This sounds totally normal...the only time I would worry is when he had no friends.
Sounds reasonable to me. As long as he's happy that's all that matters!
My oldest has more than that but did not when he was younger just a handful. My youngest only has a few people he calls friends. So I think it's normal.
My son knows everyone....he's very social...."close" friends.....probably 4-6.
But we routinely have 6-8 kids playing basketball at our house....
My advice: If it's not bothering him, it's not a problem.
Kids tend to gather more friends as they move up through school grades, join activities & sports, etc.
My children do not have a lot of friends. Our neighborhood doesn't have a lot of kids. But at school they seem to be fine. My oldest son struggled a few years ago in first grade and felt lonely but seems to be much better now. My youngest does his own thing but can and does play just fine with others. I have never, in all my life, ever had a lot of friends. I usually have one very close friend. It's simply how I like it. Some people are the life of the party and have lots & lots of acquaintances. Others have just a few very close friends. Of course, you didn't share any other details about your son so I will finish with no one knows your son better than you so if your "Mommy Senses" are tingling then trust your instincts. However if there aren't any other issues, as long as your son is happy with his playmates and doing well otherwise I wouldn't worry about it.
At 5, that sounds about right. When my son was in K4, he had one "good friend". He was friendly with all the other kids, but if you asked him who his friends were, he'd jus say "Kacy". LOL
Oh... and my son is one of those kids that makes friends wherever he goes. He isn't super extroverted, but he is friendly and open. If we go to the beach and there is another kid within 2-3 years of his age (over or under) he will be hanging out with them within 30 minutes. He might not be able to tell us the names of the kid(s) when we leave the beach, but he doesn't care. He's like that everywhere. Of course, now that he is getting a little older (he turns 14 this summer) he is more reserved about how he comes off to other people he doesn't know (gotta stay "cool" ya know?)... but given enough time, he will have friends by the end of the day. He is just social like that.
But if you asked him to name his friends... there are maybe 3 names that will come up. Well, 1-2 at church. 2-3 at karate. 3-4 from school. 1-2 from his old school. A kid from his online school. You get the picture...
Your son is perfectly normal.
Okay... my son is an outgoing extrovert... he makes friends wherever he goes. He told his counselor yesterday that he doesn't have a lot of friends anymore which makes him sad, so I needed to/chose to prompt him for the list of them. 15 names in rapid succession, while the counselor's eyes got big.
15, to my son, is "not a lot"... because he's used to having a list of 50-70. In most environments he ends up as one of the popular kids... because he likes almost everyone and is in no way shape or form shy... and he's big. So he ends up with tons and tons of friends / acquaintences (knows just about everyone).
When *I* was a kid growing up (outgoing INTROvert) I had 1-3 friends.
MOST kids have 2-3 good friends.
Heck, even Mr. Social Butterfly (my goofy kid) typically has 3 besties in that giant mob list.
My 2nd grader has 2-3 friends that he plays with at school. I think your son is fine. He has other friends at Cub Scouts and another friend that doesn't go to his school but I'm friends with his mom. If you want to help him make friends seek out other mothers in the area, sign him up for a class or sport through a community center, or Cub Scouts.
My son is six and my attitude is, at that age, they will play with anyone's kid at the playground, so don't stress it...My son was playing with a girl in his k class and her 8 yr. old brother, who also live in the same complex, but I didn't really enjoy hanging out with their mother at all, and now they no longer play, long story...Other than that, he plays all day at school with kids and with another boy in the complex who's also 8 going on 9, but it's nothing that's going to turn out to be a best buds situation or anything....It's hard at that age because we can't just drop them off, and I don't have time or desire to sit around with mommies after school...I also work from home....Plenty of time for friends, no biggie...
At this age kids usually dont play with more than one or two at a time unless its chase at recess then its usually limited to 5. My son is in 1st grade and I always hear of the same 2 boys, occasionally others but its mostly his little group of 2. Alll you need in life is one true friend. If you have that consider yourself lucky
My son is a SOCIAL BUTTERFLY!!! He has too many friends, actually (not really, but we're always busy with one of them).. With that being said, he has friends that are his age, that don't have a lot of friends and are totally content with that... I think it really depends on your son's personality..
both my boys consider any kid they play with at school, day camp, park a friend - in terms of people who come over and we spend considerable time with outside of activities, about 10 to 12 between the two (they have a lot of friends in common)
I have struggled with this since my twins started preschool. Some would call them very shy, others say, " they just like to do their own thing". while I would see the other children having lots of friends.
At times each would tell me they played alone at recess ( gut wrenching )
I have to say it was a gut feeling. We mama's have great instincts. GO WITH YOUR GUT.
My kids have 2-4 kids they call friends . One really struggles to have a steady friendship and the other gloms on to one kid every year.
This in MY CASE was just one of the things i picked up on that i thought was not typical.
Is there anything else that you think is "off" about your child? Behaviors?
If not, don't worry. I found busting my hump to make playdates, helped
give them more confidence, but did not help them to accumulate a bigger ring of friends.
In my case, all the behaviors put together alarmed me. Finally, they were found to be on the autism spectrum. They are high functioning and verbal, nobody would know it unless they lived with them, and if i told them, probably would not believe me.
Anyway, i hope i haven't freaked you out.. there is such a thing as social akwardness, unrelated to autism. I AM NOT saying your child is on the spectrum, i am merely sharing my experience. Knowledge is power right?
do some reading, hopefully thy are just shy. Try some playdates..?
:)
I wouldn't worry about it. My child talks to everyone. Let him play with who he wants. It is totally normal. I had to deal with my child being possessive over one of her friends. But, that went away real fast.
They are only kids. You could see if you like any moms and maybe set up a playdate. So you can have some adult conversation while your son plays.
My kids all have friends...I'm not sure how many...not a ton though. We don't have kids in our house all the time and they aren't always at other friends houses, but they're happy. So I'm good!
