So lately, my Husband has been telling me all about his buddies... and how they all seem to be venting/complaining about their Spouses/marriages, to each other.
(Theses guys have all been married at least 5 years -15 years).
And he said, it ALL seems to be 2 complaints:
1) not enough sex or,
2) not enough doing things together as a couple. ie: companionship
Then:
3) and the offshoot of this is: it seems that the Men don't think they can tell their Wives... about it. So thus, yes, a communication problem.
My Husband and I have recently been discussing our marriage, expectations, irks, needs, what we think can be improved etc. It has actually been a pleasant interchange. Unlike previously. So that is good.Because previously all we do is fight about it.
I told him, NOT to tell his Buddies about everything about 'us'... nor personal/private things. So well, he tries. I know his buddies too. So its not like they are strangers. But still, I like "Privacy" about certain things. Okay so he said he will try.
But, it seems like they are a bunch of "Women".... venting about their Spouses... like how we Women may grumble about THEM to our girlfriends.
Its sort of funny.
I don't take it personally. And when my Hubby tells me something HE wants to improve, well fine. He has a right to his feelings. As long as he is not mean & insulting about it. So he has improved, lately in that respect.
Me too. I am not perfect myself. LOL
Still, I find it interesting, what the Men... are complaining about. To each other. And lately.
My Husband finds it interesting too.
It seems, the Men (1 of the couples do not have children), seem to think that their Wives... should still be like how they were when they first met etc. Nice looking, slim, exciting, doing what the men want to do etc.
I guess, now that they are married, they feel less "catered" to. Is what it seems.
Luckily, my Husband told his friends "I can tell my wife anything. She's smart. I know if I tell her, she will listen and try. So you guys are worse off than me. " (he meant that as a compliment, to me). Grin.
BUT all the men, my Husband and his buddies, ALL have the same complaints about their Wives/marriage.
It seems fairly simple. But for those guys, they said they can't even talk about it to their wives.
Do you or your Husband, talk about things like this? Or do your Husbands vent to their buddies, and then tell you about it?
I am finding it interesting, what my Husband and his Buddies are 'complaining' about.
Reminds me of old bitty women... all sitting around a kitchen table, talking about 'woe is me' and their complaints about their Wives/marriage.
But for them, it IS a real issues. And a problem.
Sure. It can be.
But ALSO, the thing the Men seem to be 'missing'... is about what their WIVES... may want or need. Too.
They see it from their, point of view. The 'lacking' in their relationships as being a neglect of the wife... not about what they are "not" doing, for their wives.
So what is my point?
1) just to relay to other women, what Men/Husbands may be thinking.Since my Husband and ALL his buddies have the same issues/complaints.
2) Wondering if your Man, complains about you/your marriage to their buddies, too?
I know we women, do.
No - Hubby is a very private person. Now if the guys are talking about sex he may say some random stuff just be apart of the coversation, but never says anything about any disagreements we may have had.
sadly we dont have any friends so all we have is eachother after living being transfered to KY since 2003. Since we were forced to move away from home and friends we were forced to communicate...best thing that ever happend. Now i can read him like a book...I can seriously read his mind as we think on the same level...so I can see if something is bothering him
I don't know if he does or not.....but I do about him with my girlfriends so I guess I cannot complain if he does. I do try to talk to him about it myself (instead of to my girlfriends), but he never responds, honestly, he just doesn't say anything so I have since given up. He is the absolute worst communicator there is.
We don't vent or complain about each other. If I have a problem with my hubby, I speak right to him about how I feel and I expect the same respect in return.
My hubby has great friends, but they don't wife bash. My husband actually doesn't like hanging out with my friend's husband because he never says anything nice about his wife.
I know that men do. My husband tells me about it. Then he usually comes home and tells me how blessed he is because he goes to work and hears all their complaints (not nit picky stuff either... affairs, serious money fights, in-law fights, demands by the wives for certain things: vacation/jewelry/new car type stuff, not simple things, etc), and he can't commiserate with that... because we don't have all that drama at our house.
We have our fair share of every day squabbles, it's not like we don't live in reality... but good grief... he tells me some of their issues and I even feel bad for the guys. :/
I don't vent to my friends/family about him either... unless I am joking, or trying to make someone else feel better. Never a personal attack against him. I try to think this way: If he were a fly on the wall listening, would he be okay of I said "xyz"? If the answer is "no"... then I keep it to myself (or between me and him).
I know he complains about me to his best friend. However, I beleive that's the only person. I know his best friend complains a lot about his wife, he's even made several comments in front of me.
I have deleted the answer as it had potentially identifying details - and my profile isn't 100% anonymous. I don't think anyone would care enough to "back-track" to who I am....but still...better safe than not.
I don't know, I hope so. He doesn't have many buddies. Maybe the guys at work.
I don't know if he does-but I wouldn't blame him one bit-I am horrible-not a good wife-and got him to loathe me in less than two years.
