...to live without offending anyone?
When I read some of the responses to my Confederate flag question, I thought, does it matter if you don't think you're communicating anything if you are TO ME? Then it hit me....
Today, it seems like the capital offense is offending another person. People go to GREAT lengths - some out of consideration, some due to legislation - to not possibly offend anyone else.
This is gotten a bit ridiculous, as you can imagine. It's kind of like the "you go first", "no, you go first" through the door conundrum. No one goes anywhere because they're falling all over themselves to accommodate everyone else.
I absolutely think that we should live our lives "treating others as we would want to be treated". This is a central tenant not only in Christianity, but in almost every other religion. It's good advice and I think the world would be a better place if more people followed it (myself included, honestly...)
The ridiculousness comes in the legislation. In schools all over the country, students are being asked to take off shirts that are expressions of their heritage or religious beliefs. Valedictorians have the plug pulled on them when they mention God or try to lead the student body in prayer. The media edits out references to race or religion. Parents sue school districts over being offended that a prayer would be said (and they WIN out over decades of tradition because of ONE KID being offended). Security breaches are rampant in our airports (25000 last year!) because TSA agents pat down grandmas and babies over those who fit the "profile" (and sometimes for good reason - shown by precedent, NOT my personal opinion). People are asked to remove symbols of their history or religion from their bodies or the outside of their homes. We accommodate ridiculous requests so a few people out of the whole don't take things the wrong way.
We are a diverse country and that is to be celebrated! But somewhere, somehow, over the course of trying to celebrate our multi-cultural / religious heritage, we ended up in a place where we're stepping all over each other's toes because of our differences. Instead of "live and let live" it's "you can live as you want as long as it doesn't offend me, then LOOK OUT!"
Some say, "live as you want as long as it doesn't affect anyone else". But, as we do not live our lives in a vacuum, everything we do will have a ripple effect to someone else in some way. It's a moot point.
So, what do you think? If we cannot possibly exist without offending others with views or actions that are contrary to theirs, how do we truly appreciate each other and celebrate our differences instead of letting them come between us?
PS: In case you haven't noticed, I'm always good for a deep debate / conversation! Love it! TIA for joining in.
Nope.....someone will always take offense, i think some people like to be offended, like a martyr.
On the other hand people offend me without realizing. Like most of the people i know assume im always available, and my shedule isnt as important just because im a s.a.h.m.. Im trying not to take offense but it just sucks.
I think it's impossible if you really get out and live your life, get an education and form opinions (of course there's little more as offensive as an ignorant, uneducated fool withbig, loud opinions on everything). I also think our society needs to grow a much thicker skin and take a big dose of "suck-it-up!"
I think it is pretty impossible LOL!
So my motto is just be you....either they love you or they dont....and as I tell my girls~ you can't please everyone so make sure you just be the best you, that you can be.
I'm about as non-confrontational as they come, but I know I have offended many people in my life for expressing my opinions, and I know I will offend countless more before my dying day. I can't change who I am and what my opinions are for fear that SOMEONE might be offended.
I have Jewish and Muslim friends...if I make a comment one way or another on the Arab-Israeli conflict, I will offend one, the other, or both of them.
I am Catholic. If I explain a moral teaching of the Catholic Church, someone who does not agree with me or who happens to do that particular immoral action, will be offended.
If someone wants to express their feelings about the Catholic Church, I do not suppress their right to do so. Yes, I may be offended, but I will get over it.
Nope!
I have resolved that you will either love me or hate me, no one is indifferent to me. :p
Everyone will be offended in some point of their lives. Often times it's legit and some people are just plain good at being victims. Even if one is nice, someone will maybe think you are being passive aggressive or making fun.
Also, I *hope* I didn't offend you in your Confederate Flag post either! I like to look and think about all possible sides of thing. Which doesn't necessarily make me a devil's advocate, though some may think so.
I DO think it' s interesting as a Christian, we have to be willing to be ridiculed and have our rights pulled, but then our kids are being taught about homosexuality in school. Why can't people just be people across the board? I don't care what you do on Sunday or in your bedroom, let's just all be friends!
People are always going to be offended by others. It is actually a survival technique from when we lived in tribes. I think a better way to live is 'do as you will and harm none.' Harm. Actual harm. Offending (using the Merriam Webster definition) someone doesn't actually (or shouldn't anyway) cause them harm. It is like a pesky fly buzzing me. It annoys me but doesn't actually cause me harm. Or prayers in school. A big group prayer annoyed me because I don't follow the Judeo-Christian religions and I knew many other students did not as well but having the student body pray did not harm me. I just didn't join in. I think a lot of people like drama and therefore blow an offense way out of proportion. I also think a lot of people need to learn to let some things roll of their backs.
NO, unfortunately, there will always be someone who gets upset or offended by something someone said.
I do not want us all to think the same - I don't want to be robots and in a Utopia...it's our differences that makes our lives interesting....if we all thought the same it would be boring....
Hearing other people's "side" or way of thinking? it CAN open a new way of thinking...giving someone something new to think about...I try not to let differences come between me and someone else...it's a waste of my time.
Its impossible. And sometimes it just takes a look, not a comment. I was confronted by a woman who thought I was 'sizing her up' or looking at her in some manner, when really I just had a migraine while cursing myself for forgetting sunglasses on such a sunny day (and probably had a very terse/ridiculous/pained expression on my face).
A woman's daughter fell and hurt herself, I made this tsk sound before saying "awwww, oh no" - the woman thought I was tsk'ing like tsk tsk and trying to mock her daughter.
Most times, what people think is happening is furthest from the truth. We can't be responsible for how someone else assumes or internatlizes information. I give people the benefit of the doubt when they say something silly/stupid, unless I know them to be a hateful person. And I do try my best to include things like "haha" or "insert sarcasm" when typing things, in hopes that the other person gets what I'm typing.
No way, never going to happen. Some people will find an issue with everything they hear or see. Those people need to get a life, IMO.
No way.
Some people are just offended no matter what you say or do.
If there's no pleasing them, then don't even try - just please yourself.
If you can find someone who can piss everyone off more or less equally, they are doing a great job - you have to be kind of talented to manage it.
And then everyone one unites against them!
This goes hand in hand with the way our government has gotten involved with every little thing in business. Any person can go out and have a baby. That baby won't be taken away unless the baby is first hurt or neglected and it can be proven. But a daycare provider is regulated to the point of making it almost impossible to make a living and provide good care for parents. WE DO THIS as humans. We start out well intentioned wanting to make some business or the lives of children better and then WAM we have so many hands in the pie that the rules we try and adopt can't help but step all over peoples toes. Just look at the questions here.. We go from asking how people feel about this or that idea in child-rearing and the conversations break down into some people swearing everyone that doesn't agree with them are either negligent or abusive.
Take Mamapedia as an example.. There's only one reason we can't answer questions multiple times and turn these posts into more of a discussion board. They are trying to keep us from offending each other! LOL.
I think it's because most people in the country (not all) are prejudiced against anyone different than they are (this includes minorities). We like to say we are a free country, but really we really only pay it lip service. There are a whole lot of people who would prefer for this country to be Judeo Christian Caucasion folks only. There are groups who sole intention is to incorporate biblical law into mainstream law, and then you have the ACLU trying to turn everything secular or into a race issue. Not sure what the solution is, other than taking a good hard look at ourselves and doing our best to keep our personal beliefs, or non beliefs, and our relationship with God inside our own bubble. I for one think keeping religion out of the public debate, law, and schools is a step in the right direction. Much of the angst (war, prejudices, etc.) spawn from religious ideological differences. Just my opinion, but I think less religion would lead to a much more peaceful world.
No matter what you do or what you say - no matter how nice or well meaning - someone will be offended. I live my life to be as considerate as I can without demeaning, degrading, or devaluing myself.
If we have differing opinions - so be it. I can agree to disagree -- can you?
If you accuse me of something, you'd best be sure that you have your facts in order - especially if you are going to want my help at a later date. (I was accused of being negative by my daughter's band director at a meeting. I'm not negative -- I'm pragmatic and realistic. You can't make lemonade if you don't have any lemons, you know? Just wait and see how negative I can be. I'll not be doing all the things I used to do... How's that for negativity!)
So -- Do I think all this consideration stuff has gotten out of hand? Yes...
If my prayer offends you - look away and don't listen. If the way I choose to raise my children offends you - go away. If you don't like what you read, close the book. It's simple... it's common sense.
The world needs a little more common sense if you ask me.
LBC
