Do You Ever Grab Your Kid by Their Shirt When They Run Across the Street?

Yep and I would have popped his butt too! Running in the street is one of the BIG no-nos! I also would have given the a-hole in the van the finger. What a jerk!

Shirt, pants, HEAD. Makes NO DIFFERENCE to me.

He'll get over it. Better than a trip to the hospital...or worse.

If you dress him in overalls then he has handles, :o)

YOu did the right thing. The guy might have been shaken and wasn't even meaning to make a face.

Two year olds are impetuous. My daughter was 3 and used to get on her little bike while I was pregnant and go as fast as she could because she knew I couldn't run after her.

Heck I have grabbed them by the hair. I would rather have a semi hurt child and pissed off observers than make funeral arrangements for my child.

The guy might've gotten nervous from almost hitting your son and the "no" shake might have been more about "how could he get away from you" and not so much about you grabbing his shirt.

Just remember that you do what you have to do to get your kid out of harm way and when those little ones sprint away from you, you grab what you can. I now only use shoes I can actually run with when I'm with my toddler, because he's getting fast!

Ha!!!!!
I've grabbed his shirt, hair, neck, arms....anything I can get my hands on when I need to jerk him out of the way.

I've even pushed him down when I couldn't get enough leverage to grab! Anything to make him stop.

And I hope you flipped that guy the bird!!!! Clearly, he's never had kids.

You would have felt worse if your son had gotten hit by the car and the guy in the van would have had to carry the burden of hitting a child.
You didn't do anything wrong!!!!

Better to grab a shirt and jerk them back then being hit by a car!! I have grabbed any manner of things to keep my chidren safe. My guilty admittance is I have had cats for a large amount of my life..I have, in my sleep deprivation and panic attempted to grab my children by "the scruff of their necks" like I would my cats when they try to dart where they shouldn't LOL
The guy in the van is clueless.

OH PLEASE, VAN MAN! Of course you have to grab them by whatever!!!! My 2 year old is past this now because we have always firmly disciplined bolting in our toddlers. BUT, a few months ago I grabbed her by the ponytail on top of her head (couldn't bend down lower in that moment), yanked her back AND scolded her calmly, quietly and clearly about running away right into her face for the sake of eye contact, AND swatted her butt. Hard. But only because she knew very clearly what she was doing and it was a parking lot we frequent (grocery store) so she wasn't confused, and had been told and disciplined there before for yanking her hand away trying to run AND and trying a fit. That (ponytail time) was the last time she did it. We go once a week. I always let her walk. She never bolts, even if I'm not holding her hand.

ps, Van Man was probably just shaken and scared, don't read too much into it. Good, fast action, momma.

Yes, I think we all have done this. You grab whatever you can reach...arm, shirt, hair, ear, shoulder, hoodie..anything!!!

I doubt the man was giving you the face about grabbing him by the shirt, it was more likely that he was giving you the angry face b/c it was a close call and it scared him and you!

~Do not feel bad for grabbing him by his shirt! You have to do what you have to do. Period. End of story! Better being grabbed by the shirt and not grabbed at all...seriously!!!

Of course I have. You do what you need to. What was the alternative? Letting him get hit by the van? Don't let that van driver get you down - don't let other peoples' judgments affect you that way. YOU know you most likely just saved his life AND saved the driver from committing vehicular homicide.

I'm assuming you were crossing the street going to the park, so definitely in the vicinity of a family friendly facility..so what's the speed limit there?

That idiot in the van was totally in the wrong for going so fast and flashing you such a negative face...

I'm sorry you took it personally and left.

I would have grabbed my kid by whatever I could get my hands on. BUT I would have wagged a no-no finger at the man in the van for speeding in a park zone. HE IS the one ultimately responsible to ALL pedestrians, even the tiny one's we cannot see darting across the streets. But like you I would have been scared and my stress hormones from such a close call would have ruined the moment. So I understand going home too. But only once. Next time know you are a normal mommy with a normal impulsive two year old.

I hope you can make it back to the park for some playtime with your son.

What else were you supposed to do?!
He was probably giving you a dirty look for "letting" your child run in to the street. Don't let it bother you, you did exactly what you should have done! My only advice going forward is this: If your little guy is a "runner" make sure you're holding his hand every time you approach traffic :)

Oh, absolutely. Shirt, hood, arm, overalls, hair. Whatever I can get a hold of when the need arises.

Don't feel badly about it. Every Mom does this now and again. Even the best behaved children will see something they dart after at some point.

The man was probably shaking his head in regards to your son darting out, not you grabbing him. To that man I say: YOU try holding onto a toddler! Now the easiest thing! They're made of butter. lol

Yup, just like the other Mama's have said, I will grab whatever I need to, arm, shirt, bookbag, hair, ANYTHING if it means my kid comes home safe at the end of the day. Unless the van driver actually said, "How dare you stop your own child from getting squashed like a bug by yours truly by grabbing his shirt! I will be calling Child Protective Services immediately!!" you just don't know if he was upset by that, or by the fact that he almost hit your kid & it was a close call, or that your mischevious little guy ran in the first place! Shake it off, he's a stranger, your kid is ok, you did the right thing!

.

I've had two situations like that. Once with my son and once with some random girl at a restaurant. I was going into my apartment with my son, who was 2 at the time, and he decided he wanted to run off into the parking lot. I had all of my groceries in bags on my arms, he pulled out of my hand, and took off. I had to drop everything and run after him. And it just so happened that a truck was coming down through the parking lot. Thank God that my son tripped as I was yelling and running after him, because I wouldn't have made it in time. He fell down about 5 feet before getting in the middle of the road. There's no way the truck would have been able to stop as my son was hidden by the cars already parked. In fact the driver was giving me a crazy look until he saw my son on the ground, and then he realized what had happened. I can guarantee you that if I was close enough, I would have grabbed whatever I could have to stop him.

The other instance I had just happened last month. I was at McDonald's and this little girl, not even two yet probably, managed to get outside without her family noticing. I went out there and was trying to get her inside when she started to take off. I grabbed her by the dress as she was about to step out in front of an SUV leaving the drive thru. Her parents saw her at that exact moment when I was grabbing her and then they came outside to yell at me for grabbing her clothes and jerking her back! Seriously? Your kid just about got hit by a car because you weren't paying attention and then you get upset about me grabbing her dress to stop her? Just makes me shake my head at the audacity of some people.

Heck K.,
My son is 15 years old and I still grab his shirt sleeve when we walk through a busy parking lot. The boy is oblivious to 2 ton vehicles and never sees if they are backing up or turning towards him.

You did fine.
Don't worry about the guy in the van. Really, what does he know?

Never feel bad for protecting your child.

God Bless

I've grabbed my daughter by the HAIR because it was the only thing I could reach! It was that or get smashed by a truck....hmmm? NO contest!

When crossing the street I make my children hold my hand...when they refuse I tell them "I can hold your hand or your hair - YOUR choice" They always choose the hand.

They guy in the truck likely have you a dirty look because your son bolted, NOT because you grabbed his shirt.

Don't feel bad for saving your son's life.

What a JERK. Would he rather have hit your son? Don't feel bad and let that jerk make you feel bad. Ofcourse, I've done it probably a dozen times through the years...Daycare...kids in parking lots LOL. Their moms might not like it if they saw it. But they'd not want me to call them and inform them their child is in the hospital or worse either.

I do it when ever and where ever the situation warrents it!

The look wasn't the shirt grab, it was the fact that a shirt grab was needed, as in, the disapproving look all of the other judgemental parents give when they see a child that they think is not behaving in a manner they see fit. He was probably thinking, keep your kid under control lady!

Me.....I'd be thinking, "Yup, that's my kid! Been there, done that! Close call and thank God mom got him before my car did!"

You did what you had to.

You grab them by whatever you can grab them by......I don't think he was shaking his head about the grabbing him by the shirt but just that he was running out there. Either he doesn't have children or he has never taken them to the park where things like that happen! Don't feel bad mama - you did what you had to do!

Seems like a normal situation for most moms. I wonder, however, whether the man shook his head at you for grabbing the shirt, at you for letting him bolt, or at the little boy for bolting from his mamma.

I would have shrugged off the random stranger...and disciplined my child for running across the street.

The thing that would make you and so many others feel worse is not having gotten hold of that shirt and he got hit by the van. You would be devistated your child would have been hurt seriously or worse. Your family would have suffered, the family of the guy would have suffered. The emergency workers who had to work on him would have suffered emotional distress, the police doing the investigation would have suffered emotionally.....You did your job as a parent and kept him safe, by doing that you kept everyone else safe too(emotionally). Don't feel bad for keeping a child out of danger. If you had to grab my child's shirt to prevent something bad from happening, thank you for doing so. You may receive some flack for "village" parenting but if all of us kept the mentality that it is all our jobs to keep an eye out just in case alot less bad would happen in this world.

Please do not feel bad for the angry face in the van, feel good that he didn't suffer from depression from hurting or killing someone.

Happy parenting.

I grab my kid by whatever I can get ... he was probably "disapointed" that he bolted in the first place, but then again we all feel it ok to Judge other's parenting styles openly and freely. You were simply a victim of his high and mightyness; do not worry it will come back on him (his next kid/grand kid will be a runner!

If my child did that I would grab him by what ever I could reach. Hair, shirt, pants, dress, arm, leg.

I'm sure the driver's disapproving look was for your child.

I would also make it a point to grab a hand whenever we approached a street.

What is the most dangerous thing you can see on the road? A rolling ball. Because there is probably a child running after it.

Good luck to you and yours.

I imagine the driver was unnerved by the sight of your boy running into the path of his van, not by the sight of you grabbing the shirt.

Sometimes you just have to grab something! And a hand may not be handy. And putting a leash on a toddler is considered... well, tacky. (Too bad. It could be useful!) :^)

(Oh - I just read the previous answers and there ARE leashes of a sort!)

What?? Do you feel bad for doing that? You can grab your child by anything you want if it will keep him from getting hit by a truck. That guy was a jerk.

Once we were at a parking lot and my 4 year old son grabbed my 2 year old daughter by the shirt (I was right there too but he beat me to it...LOL) when she wandered into the street. The guy in the van slowed down and complimented my son. The guy in the van might have been doing that because your son got away from you and he most definately either doesn't have children or doesn't remember how quick they can be. You're fine!! You did what all of us have done or would do in that situation.

Sure I have grabbed my son's shirt! What else are you to do when they're endangering themselves?

The guy in the van was SO rude and apparently doesn't know what 2 yr olds are like. First of all he should have STOPPED when he saw the 2 yr old in the road. Second of all, he should not have given you some ugly judgemental face. He was probably shaking his head not b/c you grabbed your son's shirt, but because you let your kid run into the road in the first place. I wouldn't worry about it. He's obviously very judgemental. If he does have kids (ie, the van), then I'm sure his kids are "perfect" and never did anything like your son did.

On our way out of our pediatricians office my 2 yr old ran straight into the parking lot and was laughing. I couldn't catch her cuz I was carrying her baby brother in his infant car seat. Normally she and her 4 yr old sister hold my hand and eachothers. They know damn well never to do that. Cars can only see mommys and daddys. Well when I caught her I grabbed her and spanked her (pullupped) but as hard as I could and didn't feel one ounce of guilt! If ur son was hit by a car u would've felt much worse! U did nothing wrong!

Um and I would have given him the dirty look back too since he was the madman coming down the street near a park where pedistrians are all over the place!!! I would have done exactly the same thing and have done so if I can recall. I had twins so they never ever went in the same direction and I always always had my guards up-I taught them from a very young age to stay by mommy or stay by sissy. That helped a lot but a 2 year old will be a 2 year old. So scary-I see parents all the time putting grocieries in the car with a toddler running around-granted they are close by them but personally I always turned the car on plugged the kids into their car seats and locked them down and THEN put away my groceries. I never wanted to even chance it. In a moments notice that kid can decide to bolt across the lot and the parents wouldn't even realize it because they were distracted by putting away the groceries. I saw one family the dad, the mom, and maybe the grandma were all putting away groceries in the car. Meanwhile their kid that looked to be about 3 was playing around on the grocery carts by the drop off-he was within site but all three of them were distracted by putting the groceries away. There was once that he began to "wander" and the grandma called his name but those little boogers are fast and this particular store has people that sppedo through the lot-quite often. Even at 8 years old I stick the kids right by my side and never take my eyes off because there have just been too many times that I have seen someone coming through like a bat out of hell and stopping very quickly because they see me and the kids. Don't beat yourself up over that one mom-much bigger things and it could have turned out much worse had you not done what you did and the dirty looks was indeed most likely the way you grabbed him but I would have given the dirty look back at him for being Mr. Speedo in an area full of pedistrians more than likely or at that close by a park where you know kids are at......then I would have given him the dirty look on top of the other one in the sense that he would have been so perfect not to have his kid escape from him-yeah right! I think it happens no matter what kind of a prent you are......it just happens because kids will be kids and they have to be taught to look out for themselves rather than depending on mom and dad to watch out for them all the time. I try to teach my girls and always have-be aware of your surroundings and what is going on and who is going on around you.......

Whatever my hand lands on that is what i'll reach for or a push if needed

If there's ever a time/ reason for swift discipline, even a spanking, this is one. Personally my kid would have gotten my meanest mom face, firm grip on the arms, and a stern warning never to do that again. Keep a firm grip on him next time. I agree , shame on van driver for putting your kid in danger too. What a jerk.

Absolutely. You did exactly the right thing. Nevermind about the van driver - he was probably shaking his head at you for "letting" your son run into the street in the first place, not because you grabbed him by his shirt.

I do not let my grandsons hand go when walking. Two and three year olds
cannot be trusted. They have absolutely no impulse control.

I would grab their shirt, pants, hair, whatever it took to stop them!!! (and then I'd give them a good spanking followed by a "don't ever do that again") I don't care what anyone says, but if that's what keeps my child from running into the street I'll do it!

Yes, I have done this and don't feel bad about it AT ALL!!!! It's either grabbing his shirt or rushing him to the ER after he gets hit by the car... You did the right thing~

I grab whatever I can reach quickest, shirt, arm, hair, shoulder. Whatever gets my 3 year old to stop. He knows he is always supposed to hold my hand when we are in paking lots too, but he is so good at making his hands so tiny and pulling them out of my hand when he wants!

I didn't read all of the other answers, but I'm betting that the head-shake was due to the child running into the street (not being "under control"), certainly not your attempt to pull him back.

And if it was, SO WHAT? Who wouldn't do whatever it took to save their child's life?

BTW: IMHO, this action by the child warrants serious discipline. A child MUST be able to respond to NO or STOP so that situations like this don't happen. I would have been spanked for this one - and I wouldn't have done it again. We're talking a life or death situation.

I grabbed my daughter by the hood on the back of her sweat shirt one time and yanked her right off her feet. Didnt bother me one bit. The alternative was her being hit by a car.. You did the right thing, and shouldnt feel bad about it.
What I dont understand is the reaction everyone has about the van driver. Did it ever occur to you that he may have kids and understood what happened and wasnt mad at you, but was shaking his head as if to say he knows kids do have a mind of their own and sometimes get away from us. Maybe he has had this happen to him too and completely knows how you felt and had sympathy for you in what was a scary situation. If you had been texting or talking on your cell phone and not paying attention to your kid then he has the right to be annoyed or angry at you. Distraction from your child could have caused the injury or death of a child and life long trauma to the driver. Im sure he was glad you were able to run fast enough and grab your son before it was too late. I think its very easy to misread a facial expression in a split second stressful situation. As for someone saying you should have flipped him the finger,, thats just wrong. It wasnt the drivers fault your son ran into the street. He had every right to be annoyed or angry with what had almost happened. I bet he was just relieved it didnt. You should have at least mouthed the words "Im sorry" back at him.

You grabbed him as best you could in an emergency. Anyone with young kids would know that. And going right home was a good thing as a consequence to your son (no more playing if he is disobeying and being unsafe).

My son did this once as a toddler and he was restrained in a time out and then brought in the house for the rest of the day. He got the message. I got a child harness/leash. We used it a lot at first and mostly phased it out at 2.5 to 3. My daughter is now 2.5 and she was on the leash some of today because we were at a crowded zoo and she sometimes wanders. We were with a preschool class trip and there were about 12 other groups there as well--very chaotic at times.

Bravo-I have done the same and WILL do the same should the issue come up again. A mom's job is to keep her children safe.

I have to say, that in that situation, I would have grabbed anything I could get a hold of! I my share of dirty looks from other parents, due to my son's actions appearing to be bad behavior, but they are simply a result of his disability(ies). I have learned that the bad feeling when others judge me never goes away, but I'm able to move on with my life faster than before. Other peoples' judgement of you will always hurt, but the key is to be able to move on and not let it interrupt your activity. You know that you're doing the best you can, and don't let others ruin your day! Glad your little guy is safe!

The guy was probably giving the disapproving look to your son not you. You did what you had to do to keep your son from getting hit, even if that means grabbing him by the shirt and jolting him. Don't feel bad in the least.

I think you may also feel bad because you thought this guy disapproved of what you did. I've been there and know the feeling. You'll likely be in situations in the future where you may get disapproving looks from others who think they know better. Don't let them make you feel bad, you should have still gone to the park.

You owe absolutely nothing to any other bystanders and everything to your son! You just do what you know is best for your son, since I've started thinking this way I've stopped questioning myself all the time on whether or not I did the right thing.

Heh..Ive done that before. My almost 3 yr old son was def a runner! It was to the point that when we would pick his older sister up from preschool, and the kids would be running around the the front area, I would have to hold him instead of letting him run because I was so afraid he would bolt into the street! He's better at listening now, but he still freaks me out.
I also remember one Halloween when my daughter was around 2 she starting running for the road...just as a truck was coming (way too fast for trick or treating time btw). I had to run after her and I threw my arm out and pushed her down (it was just instinct since that was all I could do to stop her) right before she stepped in front of the truck. Scariest thing ever!! I'm glad I pushed her down though...at least she is still with us!
So, if that man was shaking his head at you for pulling your kids shirt to stop him from running into the road...well..shame on him. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You kept your child safe and THAT is what matters!

yes you saved your kids thats all that matters be thankful

Dont feel bad! You do what you have to, to keep your kid safe. If you didnt then the circumstances could have been MUCH worse, and then how would the people judging you feel?

Dont worry about the guy in the van, if it were me, I would have stared right back and shook my head too. If he would have stopped I would have explained myself, but lets face it, he's NOT important, and what is, is that your son is safe.

Be happy you caught him in time, and stop feeling bad! :)

I would do whatever I have to in order to keep my child safe. I would grab whatever I can get my hands on. When it's an emergency, there is no time for politically correct. The person in the van is a non issue. You do what you have to in order to keep your child safe. My child was a dasher and would just run and run. So I understand what you mean. Don't feel bad. There is enough things to feel bad about and protecting your child is not one of them. lol

Yes, I've done this. One time my daughter ran toward the street and almost got hit by a car. I reached out and grabbed her shirt and jolted her back just in the nick of time. Thank goodness it only happened once because it scared the bejeezes out of me. Don't feel bad! It happens! And when it does you grab whatever you can to keep your child safe.

Don't worry about the guy in the van, he probably doesn't have kids and has NO idea what we go through!