Just having an off day I guess. Not much of a question but if anyone has any advice or stories of similar or just to tell me this is normal? (hopefully) I would appreciate it.
My daughter and I had a rough morning this morning. Ugh.
All morning she wouldn’t get out of bed, (until I threated to punish her) then she took forever getting dressed… got upset when I told her she wasn’t watching TV during breakfast (it was just wayyyy too late) started crying when I told her that her water bottle had cracked (she’s the one who through it on the porch last night)(not in a mean way, just tossing it up to the porch while playing outside) she got upset when I told her to brush her hair again because it looked tangled…. Got upset because her shorts didn’t fit her right (I then gave her another pair of shorts), then while I was getting her breakfast ready she asked me to help her get her shorts off (REALLY?) I told her I was getting her breakfast she can take off her shorts … she said that “it’s like you’re not even my mom right now!” .. WHAT? So I went in her room and asked her (nicely) why should would think that .. she said because moms help their daughters. I told her I was getting breakfast ready. And I told her that a moms job is to make sure their kids can do stuff on their own! I told her if it's something really hard of course I’d help her but I know she’s big enough to get her shorts off by herself. Ugh! In the care, I told her I didn’t deserve to be treated so meanly! I didn’t do anything wrong to her. I told her I always try to start her day off good and today she started off being mean to me for no reason. I asked her what did I do to deserve to be treated so badly? You know what she said ……… you woke me up. REALLY!!
I want to have a good relationship with my daughter. I always like to think we are so close...but mornings like this morning make me feel like I'm messing it up. She was so mad. She just turned 8 by the way.
Thanks for letting me vent!
Oh yeah, I'm having one of those WEEKS with my 2 year old. He is fighting me on everything. Then when I wind down for the night I kick myself and wish that I handled some things differently, or didn't let it get to me as much.
Aaahhhhhh, motherhood!
OMG, you just made me feel so much better about my daughter (age 6) and mines relationship. We go thru such similar struggles and she gets so mad at me, then I get mad at her etc.....I worry about keeping a close relationship with her as she grows. I try to tell myself, that this stubborn headed girl will grow into a self confident STRONG woman some day. I try to see things from her point of view more often and respect her for the young woman that she is.................Boys ARE so much easier!!!
boys are so much easier!
khairete
S.
Yeah....that all sounds about right for 8. :-)
Hope your day gets better! I guarantee you she's forgotten all about her morning already.
I'm sorry your day started out badly. My daughter is only 3, but we, too, have "off" moments, which at times has me wondering if I'm doing things right or not. But, then I remember a statement made from a good friend of mine's neighbor, when I was pregnant. She was also a Mom, and upon congratulating me on my pregnancy, said to me, "Welcome to feeling inadequate for the rest of your life." At the time, I didn't really know what she meant, but, boy, do I now!! Continue being the great Mom that you are, and remind her that you are the Mom, and also that it's not fair or right of her to take it out on you if she's feeling grumpy. Hang in there!
hahahaha. I'm sure glad I had sons, lol. Daughters are just so crazy and high maintenance. Enjoy.... this is just practice for the future.
It sounds more like she's having the day where she "can't be right" than you are! It also sounds pretty typical of this age- you might want to consider letting more of her comments roll off your back. When you address her thoughtless comments directly, you invite an antagonistic response. If you just ignore the minor comments, then you send the message that you aren't going to engage her in a dialogue about every little thing!
Sounds like you all just had a grumpy morning. We've all had those. There are some days that we just can't please the other person because they're in a mood. Best thing you can do is just plug along through your morning routine and not react. I would talk to her after school however and tell her bad morning attitude has to go and maybe she needs an earlier bedtime. Sorry you had to go through that. Just a little taste of what the teen years have in store, fasten your seatbelt!
It sounds like it was your DAUGHTER who was really having the off day. How old is she? Sounds like a tween or a teen. Don't take it so personally, but she does need to work on her manners and not snarl at you so rudely.
Peace,
S.
I have twin 8 yr old girls, and boy do I feel your pain. I have those moments every week, and I am too worried about our mother/daughter relationship. My girls share a room and that disrupts their sleep, cause when they are supposed to be sleeping, they are playing. I catch them most of the time, but when I see dark circles under their eyes, it ended up being a night I didn't catch them. I've gotten the "I hate you moments", the "I'm running away statements" I try and be the best mom I can be, but am learning from one of my college classes "Human Growth and Development", that 8yr old may seem like their mature enough, or old enough to handle certain things, but they are still kids, and we are basically their wardens :). Like other mama's have said, it has a lot to do with age, not getting enough sleep, and them trying to assert their control over their lives. Hang in there and have a talk about her behavior this morning, and then have a small punishment that's fitting. It does all come down too that if she was tired and in a bad mood, that's fine, but she didn't need to take it out on you. She know's was she's supposed to do every morning. HUGS... and chin up!!
My son is 4( going on 16) and I get similar attitude from him him sometimes. I think it's normal and I wouldn't take it personally. My advice? If it were me I'd wait til she comes home tonight and sit her down. Tell her that her behavior this morning was unacceptable, it seems like maybe she is not getting enough sleep and that's why her bed time is being moved earlier. Brace yourself to ignore angry wrath and perhaps hand out discipline if she goes too far in throwing the fit.
My son is stubborn and I am tough on him a lot. Sometimes he gets mad at me but it has not ruined our relationship in fact our relationship is getting better as his behavior slowly improves. Stay strong and good luck!
She's acting like a baby, don't let her anger manipulate you... that's why kids do it. Hang in there, you are doing a good job!
At least you didn't do what my parents did, throw cold water in my face.
I wouldn't worry about this too much. I have a morning like this with my 7 year old daughter at least once a week. For example, I found her in bed this morning with my computer watching cartoons on CN. She is not allowed to have the computer because she had a bad day at school yesterday. When I took it away from her, she started to have a meltdown. Then while I was making breakfast, she had trouble getting her shoe on. I told her to try a different pair of socks or another pair of shoes. Instead she through the shoe across the kitchen and hurt her arm in the process. At breakfast, I had to tell her like 10 times to eat, then she hit her finger on the counter and insisted on a band-aid, even though there was no cut. She asked for banana with her breakfast and then refused to eat it because it had a bruise on it (even after I cut the bruised portion off). She clamped her mouth shut closed her eyes and started crying when I insisted she eat it. Yesterday she got mad at me and made a sign saying No Mommy Zone for 10 minutes. I could go on, but you get the idea.
By the time you pick her up from school, all will be forgotten by her. We tend to hang on to these things much longer than our kids do. They haven't learned to filter their feelings yet and when they get frustrated (or tired, or hungry), they just let it fly. Once they get it out of their system, they move on.
I'm not saying it's ok for them to act this way. They need to be told that their words and actions are not appropriate and that they can hurt our feelings with them. It usually is better to do this when everyone has calmed down so that they can hear what you are saying. When my daughter gets this way, I tell her to go to her room until she can calm down and be nice. This usually works and then when she comes out, I try to talk to her calmly about the situation.
In the same vein - my daughter and I have a much more tumultuous relationship than she does with her father (he's fun dad). But when it comes down to it, I think she and I are also closer, as well.
Hope this helps.
im sorry your having a bad morning. i am not a mother however have watched my niece grow up who is also 8 and let me tell you she argues with her mother just like that id have to say its a pretty typical 8 year old thing to do :) and as mentioned in the other post im pretty sure shes forgotten about it by now also if not just ignore her bad attitude comments
Sounds like an off morning. She sounded tired and cranky and you were rushed...never a good combination.
My son is only 2.5, but yesterday (after staying up for 2 hours to yell the night before), my husband had to pry him out of bed, he had a meltdown for no reason. Wouldn't get on the potty, then wouldn't get off, the water in the sink hurt his ears, etc., etc. Then he didn't nap!
This morning, he woke up happy and was very cooperative. When he was getting dressed, he asked for help. My husband was impatient because my son woke up early and he hadn't gotten dressed yet, and went into the, "just get it done" mood. I was nursing, but sent off my husband and had my son sit on the bed. He asked for help and I told him that I knew he could do it, and then cheered when he did.
I think that if you are both having off mornings, it sucks. It is much easier if you take turns. :)
Oh, and in the car, you should talk about what happened that morning. Why was she so upset to get out of bed, does she need to go to bed earlier? If she can't wake up in a good mood, she might need to? You can talk about a mom's responsibility, and a daughters, and plan for how to make it better tomorrow. You can talk about this on the way home too.
Did she eat sugar? Oh, this time of year is esp. difficult- no sugar, for her, or you.
best, k
Sorry but my little girl is just turning 8 and that STUFF would just NOT fly in my house - (and my kids know it!) you need to let her know that YOU are in charge! NOT the other way around!!!
There is a time to be "friends" with your kids - but that ATTITUDE is just disrespectful and should NOT be tolerated!!
Good luck to you.
