Hello,
After reading some of your responses I thought the following might be be helpful added to my request.: My sister in law just graduated from massage school and works full time as a para-professional in an elementary school as her primary job. She has not and I'd never allow her to in the future, scheduled me in place of another client. In fact she only has a handful of clients total right now. I always ask her to choose the most convenient time for her schedule and make myself available then. Please read the rest of my request below. M.
My future sister-in-law is a massage therapist and has suggested many times I come see her to help with my migraines, back pain and overall stress. She realizes I've never had a massage in my life before and that my finances are very limited. When I asked how much it would cost she said she'd give me a real special "family rate" which is 50% off. My fiance is furious that she would even consider charging me anything, let alone refer to a family rate, when he knows for certain she hasn't charged other family members a cent. In defence of the sister-in-law, I've told my finance I'm not officially family and she has a right to charge me whatever she wants. I've gone twice now to see her and it's helped my pain tremendously!! Far better than any trip to urgent care or medication I've taken. She has charged me 50% of her standard rate too. She's also aware that her brother feels she should be doing it for free, since he has helped her financially and otherwise over the years and hasn't ever asked or received re-payment. He feels I also have done a lot to support her children, herself and her mother and it's simply not right to charge me. So what do all of you think??
Thanks ahead of time!
M.
I think that maybe the first one could have been free, and than 50% off after that is a great deal. She is working and it's hard work. Saving 50% and if it helps you thats worth it.
It just depends... I teach piano lessons to my niece and when she first started I charged her the FULL amount.. because I thought she'd take advantage, now I don't charge her and she still kinda does take advantage and takes it for granted, but she's family.
The issue I would have as well is if she's fitting you in during regular client time. That was my challenge with piano. Now I could probably fill the slot with a paying student where my SIL is, but they come and visit with DH and DS afterward and that time is needed.
They also tend to bring treats (like Starbucks once in a while) and we swap babysitting at times.
My view is that family helps family. I am an attorney and never "charge" to help family. In return my family has babysitted for free when I needed help and helped with other stuff. My cousin's fiance came over and spent HOURS fixing our computer; router; security. I was so thankful I sent them a gift certificate so they could enjoy a dinner...but it was not requested. My cousin and I do little favors/errands for each other all the time. My take is, family helps family and what goes around comes around.
I don't think you should get in the middle...it is really an issue between her and your fiance.
I truly believe that when you give services to family members and the services you are providing are your livelihood that you should charge them. I think your sister in law is doing you a very nice favor and I'm happy you are benefiting from it.
In this day and age with the economy so difficult, I think she is being generous to offer any discount. Be glad and enjoy the results!
S.
That depends. Is she passing up full paying clients to do massages for you? How often is she doing these massages for you? If your fiance and you have done many things for her including helping her out financially and you haven't requested payment for your generosities, I agree with your fiance that it's kind of poor manners for her to charge. It's kind of a tit for tat thing--you do for me, I'll do for you.
MC
M.,
I see that I am in the minority, but you are family and not far reaching extended family either. I have a direct sales business and I work in a service profession also. I am a single mother whose siblings make much more than I do. It is not about this is how I make money.. it is about not making money off my family! They do things for me and I do things for them. They pay cost for my direct sales products and nothing for my services, as do my very best friends.
I completely agree with your fiance and I would be extremely upset with one of my siblings if the situation you described were one that was happening here. I do agree with others regarding times you book her services, but as family I am assuming you're also more flexible, at least I hope you are. On a last note, it bothered me that it was a service she she performs without an inventory cost associated with it.
Playing devil's advocate to myself, lol, I commend you for not being upset and or helping your fiance into problems with his sister. As time passes, things may change.. after you get married or as her client list grows or maybe your relationship with her will continue to grow and the charges will change/disappear.
I'm sure everything will work out and I'm glad you're feeling better.
L.
PS
As I read your request again, I realized that I did not address everything that he has done and you are doing for her and her children. I tried to be as polite as possible above, but really .. I think it is just outrageous that she is charging you anything at all. I hope one day she wakes up and sees that everything is not about money, but about family and helping each other out (again as you are doing for her.. free I am assuming!!)
This is her lively hood and she needs to make a living. I think 50% off is fantastic. You can always work out other deals later on as well- trading services. In addition, other members of the family may not actually see her very often (your fiance may want to consider which family members those are as well) or they may be paying her even though she never officially charged them. I think your fiance is sweet for his reaction but overall it sounds like a fair deal.
Hi M.,
This is a good one. I am a hairstylist and own my own salon. I have tons of family members and would love to be able to do all of their hair for free. But lets be realistic, we get paid on the service and work and time that we book. So if I had my sister-in-law, my aunt, my cousin, my other sister-in-law, my brother, my newphew and so on all want to come in in one day (and this has happened where they all ended up on my schedule in the same day or week)and not charge any of them, what would I make and how would I pay any of my bills. Its easy for someone to think, well I am family so I shouldn't pay, but remember their are other family members that think the same thing. So be thankful for the discount and show that you appreciate it by once in a while letting her know or buying her a small little gift or a cup of coffee. I cant tell you how may times I had done the freebies and never a thank you, a tip or christmas gift. Enjoy the massage and appreciate that you have her in your family.
