...do You Care What People Think of You?

I am unique.

I embrace the fact I am quirky. I LOVE IT.

I am the same way about thinking what other's think about me.....like they really care. But it is the running narrative in my head.

I like that crazy and unexpected is what is expected from me. It means I have done a good job standing out:)

If I can be the best possible person I can be THROUGH MY EYES, then that's good enough. But, boy did it take me a long time to get there!

I guess I have days once in a blue moon, but I almost never think about it. I spent half my life seeing myself how I thought people saw me. I cared about what anyone thought of me. It was repressive and suffocating. I can't ever go back to that place.

Heck yea I care!! I had my hair done (pretty cool I must say) yesterday in anticipation of a sales meeting in Florida so I could feel pretty to 65 strangers I haven't met yet. My daughter thinks it's cool...bonus!

I have to dress up during the week in suits and dresses calling on physicians and health care professionals. Part of my scientific sales gig also involves MOST of my potential clients rejecting me (what I'm selling) daily so it goes both ways.

Rock your haircut!!!

Do I CARE? LOL... absolutely. I take that as a granted. Or I would never bother looking nice. I'd just be comfortable. :) I LIKE when other people find me pretty, attractive, competent, exciting, interesting, etc. I like feeling approval / attraction / respect.

Does it matter? Nope. Not usually.

Because I don't need it. I simply ENJOY it.

Some people NEED other people's approval (my husband is one), and the approval of strangers is more important than the approval of people close to them OR themselves.

I'm just selfish in that I go in the opposite direction.

My own approval first
Those I love 2nd
Everyone else is 3rd.

I only NEED the 1st
Not having the 2nd hurts, but I don't need it
Not having the 3rd is "pshaw".

2 & 3 are BONUS. If and only if, I have my own approval. I don't care how much other people like _________, if I feel badly about it. Screw them, I need to get my self respect back. As long as I have my self respect, though, then other people's approval is just icing on the cake. Warm fuzzies.

Hi ephie-

I, like some others, care what *I* think about me. And, to that end...I have 'joined' the local Y (just came home from a swim with the kiddos as a matter of fact). I am lifting 3 days a week...cardio 3 days...*I* felt heavy...flabby...and just 'blah'! lol

According to charts...(and my peter and kiddos) I am the high end of normal (god...I HATE that term...) but I decided it was too heavy for ME.

SO...I am taking charge!

I am a 'city' type woman...living in a VERY rural...conservative...religious community....IF I really cared what folks 'thought' of me...I would probably have jumped off a cliff by now! lol

I continue now...and here...to do what I have always done...march on to 'my' drummer...

Anyone who wishes can borrow my boots and take a 'march' in them!!

Best luck!
michele/cat

**PS...was hoping to see a glimpse of your new 'do'...in your profile pic!

:(

I am SURE you look stellar!

Oh you won't believe me but here goes. when i was a teenager i was very shy. i could find a million things wrong with me. if a boy liked me i always thought he was joking. all i knew was that i was smart. but pretty? beautiful no. put my face apart, everything was beautiful. but in a package all together. not really. but i pretended i was carefree when i really wasn't. storms hit my life so bad that for years i had no chance to worry about silly things. i had other things to worry about. survive. be with family. make it through one more day. then one day i woke up, and i was 30. with newborn twins. down to 82 lbs from my normal 100. yep. graves disease. didn't stop there. one of my daughters ended up with lots of medical problems. graves disease got a hold of me. more specific, got a hold of my beautiful green eyes. and they bulged. i used to mourn how i didn't think i was beautiful before graves. but with everything i have gone through and made it through i somehow realized how strong i am. still smart. not as beautiful, but shades of beauty left.
how do i know i don't care anymore?
i could do something about my eyes. i could get botox on my eyelids, every 3-6 months and make them look more normal. but i haven't done it yet. why? because i can come up with a million ways to spend money on family time. and for my kids. my kids think i am beautiful. my husband thinks i rock, and my friends laugh with me when i laugh at my eyes. so yes, i don't care anymore. if you want to know how beautiful i am, look at my family, and the attachment we have with one another. my husband and my twins are beautiful human beings. so kind, so nice, so well-spoken. that is where my beauty lies at. with them.

Nope. Hardly ever.

And the reason is: I am me.

And the other reason is: I had a real progressive Dad. Since childhood, he just always taught us to be ourselves. Especially as girls. To have our own sense of self. That is golden.
I teach the same thing to my daughter and son.

Hmmm... I care, but you'd never know it, because I still do my own thing!

Could care less! I know im fabulous and that's all that matters :)

I do and I don't. I worry more about what people think about my behavior than about how I look. That said, I'm pretty conservative when it comes to hair and dress! But I have put on some weight in the past year and am very self-conscious about that.

My boss, who is 65, told me once that after she turned about 50 she didn't care so much what people thought. I said, "I can't wait to be 50!!" :)

I want to see your hair! Did you shave it off, give yourself a flattop? I'm trying to think of ways it would be considered "handsome"...a very manly term, indeed!

& kudos to you for giving it to yourself! When I'm ready/waiting for my daycare kids to roll in...I've been known to cut my hair. There are times when I am soooo thankful when that 1st kid arrives! & then there's the times when I've grabbed the dog's scissor & not mine.....oh, well!

Do I care about other people's opinions? Not usually. Sometimes I do look for affirmation, tho'. For example, at Christmas I made fused glass jewelry for the women in my family. I was hoping/anticipating good reviews. & got them! :)

But when it comes to myself or my appearance, it doesn't matter. What matters is if I feel comfortable with my own choices.

I do want people to think I'm pretty, kind, honest, generous, and caring (ie all good things!). I really feel that the people who say they don't care what other people think really do but are too proud to admit it, in which case they probably need approval even more than those of us that wish for it! I think people mix up not caring about what other people think versus hoping nobody notices that maybe they don't care about themselves being their best. Because quite honestly, any of those people would be hurt if they did hear someone say they're unattractive, mean, or dishonest!

If you find yourself needing approval, try figuring out why you need it first. Then what the best ways are to find it within yourself! But getting others approval does help, which is one of the reasons I always try to look and act my best. Other than the fact that it also makes me feel better to do so as well! I'm super confident but we can all always improve and grow, so I'm not pretending that there's nothing wrong with me, I just don't want anyone else to point it out for me, I know my flaws and work on them! I'd rather people notice and talk about the good things, that's all!

No. People either like me or they don't.

It sounds like you are happy with your haircut and like the way it looks. Don't worry about what others think.

No, I don't care.

Is that OK?

:P

...some people yes, I care a lot...others not so much...some not at all...

This is what I have most helpful, "Chances are I will never see 90 percent of the people I see on a daily basis again, so what does it matter what they think?"

There are some things that I keep to myself for fear of what people close to me will think. I am not a very good secret keeper (my own secrets), so eventually it will come out. However, that's pretty far an in between. The other thing that helps is this, "Do I want to drive myself crazy and waste my time on what other people think?" The answer is a resounding NO. If you tell yourself this enough, eventually it works it's way into your brain. :)

I care about what certain people think of me. I want the people I love and respect to think that I'm a good and kind person. Living up to that helps me to try to live a good life and do the right thing.

But stuff like appearance? No, I don't really care what people think. Anyone who would judge the content of my character based on the cut of my hair isn't someone whose opinion I would value anyway.

P.S. I love "eats my lunch." I can have a terrible potty mouth at times and am always charmed by non-profane euphemisms.

Perhaps with the new haircut you stand out more than before and since IT IS a change from your routine you are not quite comfortable with it. Everything needs time getting used to. It has nothing to do with your self-esteem, in my opinion, it is just a normal reaction to a change.
If it helps, I always remember that most people don't pay me any mind when I pass them buy, they are busy with their owns selves and their own lives. Another thing, I am getting too old to care :))) really, the older I get, the less I care. I march to the beat of my own drum.
Hope it helps.

I think most of us care. But to what degree? Do we care enough to take a poll and change our minds about things? Do we care enough to do for someone else what we would rather not do? It depends.

I've been in a position of being lied about where my daycare is concerned. In fact, it's gone to such great heights that I've had outrageous things said about me by total strangers that I've never met that were patently false. Back then, I really cared a lot. I was concerned...even AFRAID... that their lies would hurt my business. But it didn't hurt my feelings because I knew they were lying. As it turns out, it never hurt my business that I know of. If anyone ever chose not to call me because of their lies, I don't know it. I've always had the business I needed.

I grew up in a class where I was chosen to be verbally attacked and even physically attacked, daily, for 7 long years. It was so bad that I was skipping out of school in the first grade. I didn't finish highschool at all because of the bullying. By the time I got to highschool I was in a new place and not being bullied anymore. But the damage to my psyche had been done.

Fast forward all these years... Mostly, I don't care. I answer to my Lord and myself. I do very little to please other earthlings these days :) That is, the grown up version. I care deeply what my little ones think.

I shaved my head.. as in GI Jane/ Natalie Portman v for Vendetta bald when I was about 22. I was in beuaty school and did all kinds of funky stuff to my hair. I got a lot of stares, a lot of dirty names yelled at me from complete strangers. But like you, it did feel liberating. On some days, I wore a really cute beanie b/c I too sometimes felt embarrassed and ashamed and I really played up my eye make-up on my bald days to make me feel feminine. It wasn't that I was needing other's acceptance, but being singled out and made fun of did not feel good. I do not think there is anything wrong with that. We are social creatures, even if we try and deny it. So, I found I enjoy looking pretty, even if it isn't totally conventional... not for others approval... but for me.

I do shouldn't! Can't please everyone!

I DO care what people think of me. I wish I didn't, it's a flaw. I want to explain myself all the time.

I mentioned something similar to my husband - saying something like, "I wish I didn't care or even think about what others thought about me so much." My husband, who is a very confident man, replied, "you're probably not as neurotic as you think you are - everybody to some extent feels that way." I think your being aware of it is a good sign that you are not wanting to be ruled by it.

I have found that with experience and confidence it fades, but perhaps it is just human nature and we shouldn't seek to lose our instinctual desire to get feedback from others.

I truly do not care : )

i dont care, if I look great in a respectable way.
Then people can stare all they want. With my tattoos and lip piercing and mom clothes I know and feel great about myself. I love the little differences that define me.

I do care what my husbands mother thinks of me. Probably would be the only person Id worry about lol! But I still wouldnt change ;-)
You shouldnt care aslong as you like it and feel good about yourself you should be fine. :-)

At the end of the day all I really have to answer to is me. Can I look in the day can I look at myself in the mirror and say I did what I was supposed to do, was I needlessly unkind? Did I leave my home and purposely offend others with either odors or something nasty? If I did my best and I am happy then no I don't care what others think as I have too much stuff to do and concern myself with. I am good to my friends and family and work really hard to make sure that the only thing that matters is what I think. Let go of your ego it will only hurt you.

I try so badly not to but I have horrible self esteem and always wonder what others are thinking about me

Yeah, I care, too much. But less as I get older. I'm 55 and thought it was interesting what MS said about her boss turning 50. As I get older, I care more about what I think of me than what others think.

Aww...to the person that had the progressive dad :(

its normal. i dont care what people think of me. i may not always look 100% but i make sure i look decent and that my child looks decent.

I do care to some degree. If its people I don't see everyday then it shouldn't matter what they think because their making split second judgements and they don't even know me. God made me the way I am and only I can truly like myself in fact if I can't crack myself up once in awhile then somethings wrong. Life is too short and I don't need people in my life that are going to bring me down. I have friends and family who like me just the way I am and those are the people I need in my life the most.
For your hair, you might like it but that doesn't mean that Tom, Dick and Sally will. George and Freda may absolutely love it.

I don't really care about what people think of me. But honestly, I don't give the appearance part of that any thought. I thought the post would be about how you live your life, how you raise your kids, etc. I don't care what people think of me in that regard and I don't look for their approval. That really gets my MIL's goat, hahahaha. I'm married 21 years and she still can't understand why I'm not looking for her approval.