Do I Want Vanilla or Chocolate Ice Cream

Definitely sounds like you have your hands full. There should be services to help with the majority of the issues though you just need to find them.

For all of the adults (Step father and both mentally handicapped sisters) medicaid should have some type of services to help you. If Medicaid doesn't have anything then possibly contact Adult Protective Services, they may be able to help you also. If you are not comfortable contacting them them for information then possibly (I don't know if it would be beneficial or not) contact a nursing home and just ask them if they can send you in the right direction to get some help with services. Also, if your step father ever served in the military then he should qualify for vetran's services.

As for your client, I understand how hard that can be. However, you probably do need to contact Adult Protective Services regarding her situation. They will investigate and will not let her starve. Yes she may end up in a home but she will not starve.

As far as your niece, contact CPS again and/or contact a lawyer, if nothing else her father should be paying you support to care for his daughter. what about your nieces Mother? Why is she not in the picture. You absolutely have to do something with the situation with your neice legally though because as of right now you have not authority to get her any type of medical help and at the bare minimum you need that.

It sounds harsh but honestly your main #1 concern needs to be your 3 children. They need to be your main focus. I understand that everyone else (almost) involved is your family, but your children need to be your #1!

I do feel for the situation you are in. I hope that you are successfull in finding some services that can help everyone involved.

As far as the rude comment - don't even give her the time of day. Maybe she is just having a bad day and decided to be snarky and nasty and take it out on you. Not worth your time or your response!

Good luck and keep your head up.

I'm sorry you are so overwhelmed....... one thing you need to think of in regards to your client, is that you need to take care of YOUR family and yourself first.....

I'm sorry she isn't being helped by others, but she is taking advantage of your generous nature.

Ultimately, it isn't your fault if she ends up in a care facility...

As far as your family, yes, 10 people in one house is a lot to put on anyone. Are there services that can come in and assist you with them? I'm assuming they are on medicaid (mother, step father, and adult sisters), and they may be due some services you aren't taking proper advantage of.

Do you have a social worker you can talk to? Many times they are available through community help programs, and can set you up with the type of care that will benefit you all. How severe was the stroke? Is he receiving Occupational and or Physical Therapy to regain lost abilities? That can be set up through his Primary Care Doctor.....

As far as your niece, again, you are feeling that you have to take care of everyone, since they are family... that is admirable, but if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to help anyone.... as someone else said, either contact CPS or the police since her father abandoned her to you. It may be very hard to do that, but it may be the best way for her to get the help she needs, also.

Good luck, and hugs!

No one can take advantage of you without your consent.

You all live under the same roof?
eta:
I'm guessing you are living in your mom's home, rent free? And apparently they feel your job is to take care of everyone in trade of rent?
Don't let people guilt you into thinking that they can't survive without you.
YOUR survival is important, it might be time to put your foot down and you and husband move to your own place.
I would also assume all these sick people are on some sort of govt assistance, they will provide caregivers to these people via federal assistance.
You are overwhelmed and cannot be a good helper to any of them while in this state of mind. It's best to let professionals do it.
Look for your own place to live. Call adult protective services to come out and evaluate the rest of the situation along with CPS.
Some people can take on a heavy burden as this with a happy heart, some can't. If you can't and it's killin ya with stress, please remove yourself. There is nothing wrong with not being able to handle this, there is nothing wrong with you. It's just a huge burden and you are not getting the support you need to keep going.
It's break time.

I guess your change made it crystal clear. All these people took the time to think about you and try to come up with advice that would be helpful to you. Most people were nice. When you changed your question and SWH it made it clear YOU are the one in desperate need of help but you will always be unwilling to accept any help and will continue to spread yourself so thin you cannot be a good parent. Please get counseling for your children's sake.
I dont know how to stop stressing, I 'm working on that myself (yoga and meditation). You sound like a very loving caring person, But it's clear you need to make life changes. Start with one or two problem(s) at a time, I'd start with the non family member, tell your client you cannot afford to work for her for ten dollars an hour. Sign her up ASAP for meals on wheels, give her the phone number for a visiting nurse. Help her arrange for that. As soon as meals on wheels starts, don't go back, if she calls you ignore the phone, if you're worried, call the authorities to check on her and make sure she is eating and taking meds. Personally I would suck it up and keep the teen age niece if at all possible rather make her suffer another abandonment. But lay down the ground rules, make her help with children and handicapped adults and chores. Make it clear you NEED her help. Teens like to feel needed. Dont let anyone make it about "You have to help because you are older, you have to do this because we say so" Most teens respond better to being needed! Maybe your husband being optimistic in this situation is the very best thing for you and him! Again you sound like a great person, do not let people take advantage of you! If needed attend a program/workshop to help your self stand up for yourself, maybe assertiveness training, do it for your kids and your marriage! Also NAMI is a great association, lots of services for those caring for the mentally ill. They can help you find help for your sisters and provide you with free counseling as the stressed out caretaker to mentally ill family members.

Stressed...
Have you considered calling the police about your niece? That is child abandonment.
Have you looked into social services for help with the client, adult sisters?
They may do well in group homes./job opportunities.
Is your client "safe" in the current situation? If not, for her sake, consider adult protective services involved. There may be ways she can stay in her home and receive some help.
I'm sorry you've received at least O. rude piece of advice thus far. Please ignore it. It's expected that people receive some predictable rude answers--pay no mind--she's not worth it.
All the best.

Hi 2
answersstressednluvin

Here's what I think and i't only my opinion. I completely understatnd and feel the pressure that you are going through. Been there sisita! Trust me! It get's better. All I can say is this.....I have been there, all of last year, and now after a year, it seems easier. Do your best, everyday, everyminute. You will prevail if you believe in yourself....money will come, but prior to that glory of$$$$$$, you need to stand strong and do the foot work and the rest will come. you can always make money. make sense? If not, respond back and we can chat directly. xoxo S.

Stressed:

Welcome to mamapedia.

In regards to your client:
No means no. You are allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT. No means NO. Every time you do NOT stand up for yourself and ALLOW people to only pay you $10 a day? Well - that's YOUR fault. no one else's. You must demand more from this client. If not. let her go to a home. This is life - she will die at some point - it's life - you can't get out of it alive.

As to your niece:
Call the police. Tell them that her biological father - who has full custody- dropped her off on your door step on X date. He has changed his phone number. Tell them that you called CPS, tell them when you called, who you spoke with and what you were told.

what i don't get - is if he's changed his phone number - how do you know he refuses to help?

your husband:
how great he's optimistic. Tell him he needs to update his resume and get a better paying job.

your parents:
If your mom is not mentally capable of helping - then she needs to be seen by a doctor and declared mentally incapacitated. Not the best of things - but really? If you have 10 people living under your roof. You either have ONE HUGE home or people are living on top of each other.

if your Step Father had a stroke - he should be in a home until he is recovered.

Your sisters - need to be placed if they cannot take care of themselves.

Is this the best scenario? No. it's not. But you are one person. And cannot do it alone. So you need to put your foot down and start taking care of your husband and your children. If that means stopping others? Then so be it. You are not a martyr. Stop being one. Stop being a door mat.