Do I Send My Son to Kindergarten???

Updated on March 03, 2009
H.G. asks from Littleton, CO
13 answers

I need some advice from some ladies who know more about the education system than I do! My son's birthday is just a few days before the kindergarten cut-off so my husband and I had made our minds up to hold him back a year. We felt really good about our decision until the conference with his preschool teacher, where she advised that we send him to kindergarten next year. Now, I'm totally confused and don't know what to do. My gut tells me to send him to kindergarten only if we have the option to hold him back if he doesn't do great. I do not want to be forced to send him on to first grade if he does okay but not great in kindergarten since he will be the youngest of his peers. My mom suggested that I open enroll him in another school for kindergarten for this fall and then enroll him in the neighborhood school the following year so that if we choose to send him to kindergarten another year he won't feel weird seeing his friends moving on to first grade (as she feels he's ready too but understands my concern). It's an interesting idea. So, I really need to know if (1) is this a good idea? (2) is this allowed? and (3) am I too late to open enroll him somewhere in Douglas county or (4) doI have the option to send him to the neighborhood school but pull him out during the year if he's not doing well? It would be kind of a pain to have his older sister at one school and my son at another for a year, but it would be that way anyways if we kept him in preschool for another year. It would also save us a lot of money in tuition and he may learn more. A little about my son- he is really ready socially (going to a school where he knows nobody would be fine) and he is tall for his age, but I think he would be so-so academically.

Any thoughts would be really appreciated!!!

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K.H.

answers from Denver on

I don't know much about Douglas county schools, but Jeffco offers a half day and a full day kindergarten option. Could you enroll him for a half day option (free) for this upcoming year? Then if he does well, send him on to first grade the next year. If he struggles, the next year put him in full day KG. I know Jeffco has great out of district options, but again have no idea about Doug. Co.

Good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Denver on

My experience has been that there is no down-side to sending a young boy to kindergarten. He either does well and moves on, or he's near the bottom of the class and repeats a year. Kids that young don't care if they repeat a grade, and their classmates don't care either (unless, of course, all the parents act annoyed or embarassed and make a big deal out of it).

There's a huge potential downside to holding him back, though. If he's one of the smarter kids, he's just lost an entire year of learning and reading, and he'll forever be in a classful of students who are woefully behind him academically.

Please send him to school. Children that age are like sponges -- so ready to learn so much information -- it wouldn't be right to not expose him to reading and such, unless, of course, you're planning to teach him to read at home. (I taught all my kids at ages 3, 4 and 5, prior to kindergarten, when they were ready.)

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K.S.

answers from Denver on

H.,
I would hold him back and put him in either a junior kindergarten program or another year of preschool. We held our first son whose birthday is 8/1 back and it was the best thing we could have done for him. He was socially, mentally and academically ready for school this year. He is doing very well and does not struggle at all. In his class almost 70% of the kids were born in 2002 so they were older going in and as a volunteer I can see which kids are doing better-usually the older ones. It is so much better to give them that edge going in than to always wonder later. I would do the same thing again even if my preschool teacher thought he was ready. Kindergarten is alot of work and they expect alot out of the kids. Good luck.

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

Go with your gut! My son is the oldest in his class and it shows. He is doing really well. Once school started I was so happy that he missed the cut off date by just a few days. He was so ready once he hit Kindergarten, after three years of pre-school, and he has just excelled.
I watch some of the really young kids in my daughters Kindergarten class this year and they are just struggling. They are having trouble learning their letters, while most of the rest of the class are reading.
I think your son will do well whatever your decision is, but if you feel he is not ready...you are the best judge.
It is a really tough decision. But, as I said, do what you think is right for your son.

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C.S.

answers from Denver on

H.,
We always wonder if our mom is right. As a single mother of 3, it is hard for me to listen to my mom, but my daughter has several friends that moms have done the same thing. I think in this case your mom is 100% right. This way, you will have 2 options. Halfway through the kindergarten year, ask the teacher what their thoughts are. Good luck.

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C.E.

answers from Denver on

H. -
Go with your gut. You know your child better than anyone and no one can predict what the future will bring for him as he grows.

If you decide you don't want him to start Kindergarten, find a pre-school that has a Pre-K class. It's a little more advanced than Kindergarten and starts them on a lot of the skill that Kindergarten will teach. That way he won't be bored doing Preschool again!

We did have some people hold back their kids in Kindergarten and they made sure it was a different teacher, but kept them at the same school - it worked wonderfully! They made new friends and the parents haven't seen any adverse affects on the kids self-esteem or social skills at all. In fact, a couple of them were more confident moving forward having done it a second time.

Good luck and God Bless.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

The open enrollment sounds like an interesting idea. I'd check into that. Even if not, we were told by many that usually kids do okay repeating kindergarten. Our son also started earlier than we had originally planned, and is now doing fine at the end of first grade. Social readiness counts for a lot, even if academically he needs a second round. Our son loves the friends. GL! It's a tough decision, I know.

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B.H.

answers from Denver on

I teach at the upper levels of schooling and I would tell you that the younger boys really struggle. Young girls have different pressures, but young boys aren't physically mature as their peers and in early high school, that is how many boys represent themselves (it is a huge selfesteem characteristic for many boys). The younger boys also struggle athletically against more mature boys (often time costing them positions on various sports squads because of a lack of physical maturity/strength). I do not really know about preschool v kinder, but I would suggest holding him for later successes in school. Hard decision, GL!

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H.M.

answers from Denver on

Last year my daughter missed the cut off date by a couple of hours, so we opened enrolled her in Cherry Creek Schools for Kindergarten and she's in a 1/2 combo class this year at our neighborhood school - I went with my gut and she loves it and is doing really well. For her Douglas County school, even though Kindergarten is not a requirement, they told me she had to go to a private or public school elsewhere (not homeschooled) in order to enroll there for first grade, which doesn't make sense, but it was what it was. They have since changed the cut-off date as well. I taught preschool and had one of my moms hold her son back and do another year of preschool because he's on the small side & that's her choice - he was ready, but she followed her gut and I totally respect that. In my son's class, he had a classmate whose mother had him stay back and repeat Kindergarten, but she really had to fight with the school for it. Just a few stories.... Good luck!!!

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

Kindergarten is not required in the state of CO. So you can do as you please. Having him change schools seems odd and overkill to tell you the truth. He'll make friends and have to lose them either way.

If he is socially ready and has kindergarten-readiness skills - can count, ID some letters, interested in school, etc - I don't really understand your hesitation. As a child psychologist, I usually only advise parents to delay a year if the child is either not ready socially or academically.

The second issue is why you would consider repeating K. The evidence says retention is not usually useful. What would "so-so" performance mean? do you really have reason to think your son wouldn't do just fine? or are you just making contingency plans?

If you have real reasons to think your son has learning issues that would keep him from being successful, you should have him evaluated and get him help. If you are just being cautious because he'd be young for K and you'd rather have him grow and develop for another year - that's your decision. Keep him in preschool and wait. You have that right.

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M.

answers from Denver on

Keep him in pre-school another year, especially since he is a boy. I am a kindergarten teacher and every one of my kiddos that is struggling either socially, academically or both are my youngest I would have him re-peat Pre-school, and not Kinder because even though Kinder is not required it is pretty academically rigorous. The school districts all have requirements that Kinders leave able to read. Whereas repeating pre-school he would have more focus on the social and basic skills like letters, and sounds sounds, and fine motor skills. I was an August birthday and my mom held me back and it was the best thing she could have done for me. It just never hurts to give them another year to mature, whereas it can hurt to push them into something. Good luck!

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R.L.

answers from Denver on

I also have a son with a birthday right before the cut off. I sent him with hesitations but knew that was what he needed. I have watched him, with all my doubts and worries, grow into a wonderful student. I think your son would most likely do just fine. I personally would not send him to another school, to me that would be harder. I have had your worries #4 and they go away when I see his school work and the friendships he has developed. My final thought is go with YOUR instinct. You are the mom and know best for your children. Best of luck, R.

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A.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi Susan,

You have a tough decision. My oldest son made the cutoff by a few days (Sept. 23rd). We chose not to send him and I am so glad we waited, he is now in 4th grade and he is so much more successful than our middle child, he seems to have more maturity and he is a leader and has done great. Our middle child on the other hand, was an August baby and very tall so we went ahead and sent him. He has done pretty good academically, I just wish we would have waited because he is one of the youngest in his class and I do see a difference in his "success" level compared to the other students. As for enrolling him in another kindergarten, I know quite a few people who do it that way and recommend it. Good Luck and go with your gut!!

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