Do I Have Another Option?

I don't want a divorce. I want my husband to be a better person, but it seems to get worse over time. I love him, and he is a stand up guy, but sometimes he is impossible to be around. I had two kids when we met, and he took on that responsibility, going from being the ultimate bachelor (his place always looked like a frat house the night after a huge party, even though he lived alone and never had visitors) living in Minnesota, to moving down here and settling into the domestic role. My kids don't remember life before him. He had quit drinking and we were all stable and happy. We had our fights, but nothing that we weren't over quickly. Now, the fights come in more frequently, and he absolutely refuses to stop arguing when there isn't anything to argue about. When it comes to discipline, he is always on my older kids' case. (They do need it a lot more, I know, but I feel he is excessive). He is always frustrated with and yelling at our 4 year old daughter. And he is always yelling at me. He started drinking again, though only on the weekends, but he knows I still hate that. He says it's completely harmless because he doesn't go to a bar to drink and doesn't leave the house after he starts drinking. Growing up with an alcoholic dad, I disagree. I quit smoking, and he has continued, regardless that it made it harder for me to stop. Nothing I do seems appreciated or good enough to register that I contribute in any way to our lives. He has no interest in spending any time with me. We tried counselling awhile back. We went for about 2-3 months, and stopped going. Now when I suggest giving it another try, he tells me to go by myself. He seems to think that everything is just fine. Emotionally, I'm a wreck most of the time, because he's impossible to make happy, and I'm making myself more miserable trying in the process. I'm sick of everything being my fault or my kids' fault. I'm sick of being put down for my political views because he disagrees. I'm scared that my other two kids will end up living with their father because they aren't happy all the time anymore. I can't handle the double standards of everyday life at home anymore. If he isn't willing to try to make things better, do I have any other options besides divorce? I'm not staying because I'm scared to be alone, but I do have to face the fact that I have far too much baggage to ever have another relationship, at least until after my kids are all grown. I've gained a lot of wieght since my third child was born, so physically I'm much less appealing as well (and I'm not using that as my only reason to have a relationship). I don't think I'd want another relationship, though. I guess I see it as being too old for dating and too young to be alone for the rest of my life. I want to be with him, which is why I married him. But I can't be with the same person I'm living with if he continues to be like this, or gets worse. I have no friends here, and the ones that moved away really don't keep in contact with me anymore. I've tried church, even though he refuses to go with me. I just can't seem to fit in anywhere anymore. I feel like I'm raising my kids with the most critical person in my life always making sure we know what we are doing wrong. Any thoughts would be extremely appreciated. Thank you for taking time to read this.