Divorce Process

I just recently went through a divorce/custody battle. Just relax, as long as you havn't done anything to make you look like an unfit mother, you will most likely get what you want. But you have to be patient because the father has equal rights until the judge says differently. Good Luck.

T.,

It does depend on which state you are in. Most states are in favor of the mother when the child is under a certain age b/c of the whole "caregiver" piece a child needs at that age. You should be able to go onto your state's government page and look up Parenting Time Guidelines and that should give you an idea of the visitations the father gets. I also had to go to a Parenting class downtown Indy to insure that I was making the right choice for the kids.

Good luck and hang in there!
A. C.

In Iowa, there is a new "law" for joint custody. My husband is fighting for rights because I am going for full custody with visitation. My final hearing is supposed to be in December so that will be 10 months for me. He doesn't have an attorney or it could be shorter. There is really no telling. If you and your x can get along and work something out, it can be done in no time, or so I hear. Good luck. It may be hard but try to work out what is best for your baby. If you need someone to talk to, email me. I am a good listener.

I agree that the best alternative is for the parents to agree on the custody. Joint custody (physical or legal or both) gives both parents the oppertunity to parent their child. You are divorcing each other not the child. Indiana's Parenting Time Guidelines will only give someone every other weekend and 1/2 the holidays. If you agree you can come up with any reasonable solution and your own way of dividing the time and holidays. Good luck and always think of your child's best interest.

Well i know here in Kentucky, the mother get the child . and it takes about 3 months. you and your ex will have to go to parents class and then the court will give you your divorce. but i would try to work out something with your son dad also.
just trying to help.

i am a mom of 2 kids ages 23 year old, and 28 years old

Hey T.. I am going through a divorce right now. Granted every state is different, KY you must wait 60 days and then mediate. I am about to go through that stage of the game. My soon to be ex did agree to the custody though very quickly, but it is only "temporary" until the divorce is over then we will have it set in stone. Tyler does not go over night with his father since he is so young I wanted him home with me every night. He goes Mondays and Wednesdays from 4-8 PM and every other Saturday from 12-8. That is equalled to the same amount of every other weekend. I figured Tyler needed to be home in his house and bed while things were so messed up. I wish you and the little one the best. Hope all works out for you.

Me and my husband went through a divorce when my son was only 9mths old. At first my ex only got my son every other Sat and Sun morning since he was so young. As time went by, my sone is now 2 1/2, he got him more and more and now we share him 50/50. It took me some time to get used to not haveing my son around all the time but I had to look at it from his point of view in that he wants to spend time with his son just as much as I want to spend time with my son. On the nights that he is with his father I have taken up a second job to fill my time and to not think about missing him so much.

My divorce took about 9 months but that was becuase we settled everything ourselves and did not hire any lawyers but if you have lawyers it should only take 3 months in KY.
Apirl

I am going through this right now. I have a 13 m/o daughter. The jist of it is this (and this info came to me from my attorney): Based upon the age of the child, you will be 99% gauranteed to be the primary custodial parent. This is based upon the fact that, at the young age of 13 months, the mother usually provides more care for the child. Now, based upon the fact that the child's father is fighting for custody, he will be more than likely be given some sort of liberal visition schedule. Unless there is a claim that you are an unfit mother, you should not worry too much about custody.

It does not take long to get a divorce, even when a child is involved. I retained an attorney in October, and my final divorce hearing is mid December. WV family law procedures require that the parents take a 2 hour parenting class. This class will provide you with information on how to keep from using your child against each other. You do not have to attend this class with the child's father.

Everything depends on what state you are in. I know that it is alot harder for a father to gain full custody here in Nebraska, the laws tend to sway on the Mother's side, unless there are reasons that child will be in danger in the mother's custody. I do not know about other states. A divorce with a custody battle can be very long and extremely expensive. If your son's father is a good father and you do not have a need to worry for your son's safety or well being when he is with him, my advice is to work something out with the father out of the courts or with a mediator. Hopefully, you can work something out that is in the best interest of your son. Good luck!!

I don't know how long this takes.

Personally, I'm a fan of joint physical and legal custody because it means the child is getting equal time with the parents and the parents get equal decision making rights. If you can talk to your soon-to-be-ex about this option, it might be something he would be willing to consider and could make this fight go away.

The more things there are to contest, the longer the process can take. My daughter is going through a divorce right now, and it seems to be taking a ridiclously long time. Theirs began over a year ago. The best piece of advice I can give you is to find the means to get a good lawyer. Recommendations from people who have gone through the process with this lawyer are best. I would say find a female lawyer, just because she would best understand where you are coming from, especially if she is a mother also, but there are good male lawyers who will fight just as hard for you. Ask around. If you have someone fighting for you, you stand a much better chance.

I'm only familiar with the Michigan divorce process having worked for a divorce attorney. I will say that a divorce in MI must take a minimum 6 months if children are involved, there are two types of custody - who the child lives with and which (if both) parents are the decision makers in the child's life. My best suggestion is to speak to the judge and the friend of the court in terms of what's best for the child, i.e. "It's best for the child to live with me because he needs ..." Never say "I want him with me because I don't want to only see him on weekends, and I I I I". Hope this helps.
Good luck.

Though I don't know about the divorce process, I do know the custody side - I don't know if it is different when you've been married. What they told me and my ex when we went to discuss custody is that Indiana is a "Mom State", that they give the mom full custody and the father gets visitation rights. I don't know thoough if, since you were married if they will do Joint Custody. Have you talked to a lawyer?

I just got divorced here in KY and my understanding is that joint custody is most often awarded, meaning both parents have equal rights to decisions regarding the raising of the children (school, healthcare, religion, etc.), with one parent (most often the mother), as the custodial parent, meaning the children live primarily with that parent & have regular visitation with the non-custodial parent. I think most states generally give the mother custodial rights, as long as she's not deemed unfit; however, many states are making an effort to be more equitable as far as the father's rights for custody are concerned. In some cases, 50/50 custody will be granted (parents share time with the child equally), if one parent wants that and the other does not fight it.

Is your ex trying to get full custody of your child (meaning he wants sole custody as we as sole responsibility)?? I can't imagine that a court in any state would give either parent sole custody as long as both are considered to be fit parents. Or does he just want to be the custodial parent, meaning your child will live with him & have regular visitation with you? I suppose that could happen, but I think if you are a fit parent & you fight that, most likely you would either win or at least get 50/50 custody. I'm not a lawyer & don't know your state laws but that's my general understanding of how things work in most places.

My divorce took about 3 months once my ex finally got a lawyer, but we had no custody issues. I wish you the best of luck...I know how frustrating & emotional the process can be.