Divorce and Custody from One State to Another

NO MATTER WHAT, Keep a journal of everything that happens and is said in regards to the kids and yourself. Keep records, receipts....everything. And write down dates...when you have everything in front of you and you do go to court...the dates and records make a TON of difference. It will show your circumstances and a time frame. And don't get down on yourself. Get signed up for help through the government and get back on your feet. That's what it is there for. Don't get down on yourself and don't give up. You have a very hard road ahead...take all the help you can while you need it. There are churches that help people get registered for help and directed to the agencies. Make some calls. Good luck and God bless!!!

write every thing down (dates and pepole your talk to)and that relationship you got into forget it, hope there was no police reports on you, they (reports) will help with the removable of your kids. Other then that go get your divorce.Legal-aide,I think can help you with that. Your kids can not live like that.God Bless you and yours

Laws vary from state to state but most any state wants to keep the children with their mother provided she is not abusive. It seems to me that you are trying to do everything you can to protect your children and a judge will see that. It is not like you are still in the streets. You have a place to stay to help you get on your feet and your children are not hungry, clothed etc. What about school though? Please do contact every agency possible to assist you and make sure wherever you decided to stay put you are actively looking for employment. It will be hard but you can make it for the sake of yourself and your children. Do not rush into another relationship. Please get your life together. Relationships will come. Rushing into things gets you into the situation you were in. Right now your children and yourself should be your priority. Good Luck to you.

I am legally separated from my husband. If you have complete legal custody with all decision making abilities and don't need your husband's agreement, then it's easy for you.

If you have a joint custody, like I do, then get an attorney. Your attorney will have to contact your husband to work out the details. He may or may not need to be in agreement before you officially move your kids out of state -depends on how your legal sep. was written up. Hopefully, he will be understanding and not want his kids around a bad relationship with domestic violence and agree. But, your legal separation is still good in another state because it is between you and your husband whereever you two are.

Good luck.

I too had a similiar situation. It has been 13 years since it all happened. I was seperated and had custody of my 2 boys. We had joint custody, with me having primary rights. I also got into a very abusive situation, but I got pregnant. Long story short, the last time he beat me was the last time! I took the kids and went to family. My ex held it against me that I was not stable to have a place of my own. I had already decided that I was giving the baby I was pregnant with up for adoption. So I cooperated with the switch because I did not want the boys to see me go to the hospital pregnant and not come home with a baby. At the time they were 5 and 3. I ended up giving the baby to the sister of the guy that hurt me, she could not get pregnant on her own. He was a bad guy but his family wasn't. The boys went to their dad. I tried desperately to get back on my feet again. It took me years!! BUT I did it!! In the mean time I maintained a close relationship with my boys. Yes, it was hard, and yes I have many regrets! Well I got pregnant again and this time had a baby girl. Her and I have struggled and have made it! And 4 yrs ago my oldest came back to live with me when he was starting high school. Then 2 yrs ago, my middle one came too. So I have my 2 oldest and my daughter. Well this last Thanksgiving I got to see the one I gave up too! His mom had always told him about us. He understands why I "gave" him to her. (The bad dad is out of the picture for everyone and has no contact)
I am sorry this is long, but if I made it you can too!! Sometimes things happen just to make us stronger. The main thing is to keep the kids best interest at heart. Don't be selfish and have them stay with you if you cannot provide the kind of lifestyle they deserve. Sacrifice yourself before them. My children love their momma! I fought tooth and nail to show them I loved them and was doing everything I could to get stronger and be able to take care of them again. I know my story sounds like and episode of Jerry Springer, but I have a happy ending and no I do not live in a trailer park!! LOL!

We had a simular situation in our family. As far as I know you can take your kids any where on "vacation". If you want to go visit your sister and take the kids with you you can. Now if you have to tell you husband where they are? I am not sure. Probley so. You should try calling a family lawyer and ask them If they cannot tell you ask them if they know of any way for you to look this information up yourself. Good luck and stay safe.

I am so glad you have your sister to help you out, many women in your situation have no one. That said, any trouble would come from the separation agreement. Did it say that you were not allowed to leave the state with the kids or did it not say at all? If it said not to, I would do what I could to get back to your home state and call your travels a "vacation." I understand that you need your sister, and I also understand that states try to keep kids with their mother. I don't know what states you are working with, but I would hate you to get into legal trouble for disobeying a judge's orders. Now if the separation agreement didn't say, you are fine where you are. Also make sure that the kids are in school if they are old enough and that you are truly looking for a job. There are many women's shelters that I believe have attorneys working for them so you could ask one of them to check into your situation...they should give free legal advice...they may also have employment specialists there to help you find a job either with your sister, or back in your state. You will be in my prayers, God Bless you and keep you safe.

Hi X.,

There are usually several good women's groups in every state that will help with legal guidance and even shelter/housing for situations like yours. If you get into the phone book for the state you are in...look in the state resources pages. There should be a section on families and there will be names for the different organizations for assisting families.

Laws vary state by state, but you should be able to find some assistance to help you figure this out, and with little to no money involved. My cousin contacted such organizations when he was going through custody issues.

If you can get online, you can look up your state's branches of family assistance as well.

Local churches and libraries also may be good resources for you. I would ask around.

Take care!