Divorce - Somerton,AZ

Hi Y.,

I would say see a lawyer, you need child support. Some one once told me "Nothing ever changes if Nothing ever changes". He has no reason to do anything if you continue to let him do this. Hope this helps

L. Smith

Y.;

This is a very hard message to answer with the information given... but I will give you my thoughts. Marriage to me is a sacred institution, but one that serves many purposes. A man that only visits his family every couple of weeks is not functioning as a father or husband -- unless it is a temporary sacrifice for the family's well-being.

While it is important for your daughter to see your commitment to the marriage, you also have to understand that what you put up with is the basis for what she will demand of her future. For me, as a man, I need my duaghter to expect the very best... so I in turn monitor myself to make sure I always treat her and my wife with respect and love. If my wife and I have a disagreement -- I try to make sure that Rainey sees the conflict resolution process. Sure she's young, but they understand a lot more than we think.

Kurt
www.vonconcepts.com

Hi,
I was a single mom for 6 yrs and then I got married. My husband and I are now separated and he has completely stopped even seeing our daughter which is the only father she has known. It can be really tough wanting what we think is best for our child but we can't control other peoples actions and if he is choosing to not be involved then there isn't much you can force him to do. I really can't give you much advice myself because I'm pretty much in the middle of a similar situation and learning too. I would definitely find a support group to go to though... My church has a divorce care group for those separated, going through a divorce, or been through one. Its really important that you take care of yourself so that you can be strong for your child too.
God bless

The best advice I can give you is to stay in your marriage and work through everything. Your daughter deserves to have a mommy and a daddy at home. Studies also show that when there's a mom and a dad at home, children are more confident, happy members of society and contribute positively to society, as well. No other relationship is going to be perfect, either, so the best thing would be to work through your problems for the good of your daughter. I mean, money isn't what life is all about, you know? It'll never make you happy. Relationships are what make you happy. Your husband will never be perfect, neither will you and neither will the next guy. The best thing would be to accept each other's faults and move beyond them to look at what's good about the other person. And be appreciatve of him, that's really what men want the most.

Good luck; I'll be praying for you!

I think that you are a very strong women and if you're husband only comes once every 2 weekends you would be better with out him. One other thing don't go depending on a man, but since he is the father to you're daughter, you and him need to make an agreement about money issues, if he can't keep to his agreement take him to court for child support then he has no choice. I understand that you don't want you're daughter to grow up with a father but he needs to be more responsible. Parenting is 50/50. I would not stay married to a man that only came to see his daughter once every other weekend. I hope that everything works out for you and you're daughter.

If u love ur husband u will stay with him and he will work things out to best fit both of ur needs. And you need to stop worring about trying to find a father for her thats the woest thing u could do, the child will start becoming disruptive and thinking that she isn't good enough for any of these men i know this from personal experience. What u need to do is worry about urself and ur daughter and the right person will show up she'll be fine my daughter is perfectly fine my daughter was about the same age as ur daughter and she is just under 8 now.

I cannot tell you to stay with your husband or get a divorce. I don't know the significant factors to your life. Why your husband visits you so little? First did you enter the marriage knowing he would be living like this? Second, your daughter will still have a father whether you get a divorce or not. It is up to your husband to have a relantionship with his daughter. I believe in marriage but I can understand there are those that need to dissolved. Talk to your husband about your concerns. He needs to know what you worry about. Communicate is the key to every relantionship. Please try to talk to your husband and then if that doesn'[t work out then do something.

Take this from someone who has already gone through this.... My oldest has his biological father living in Los Angeles.... The money can not be the biggest issue. You can easily go to court and get a court order and then have his wages garnished and then go through Child Support services so they can keep track of the money so you don't end up getting screwed at the end of it.

Kids have ways of letting you know when they want to see the other parent and it is important to keep that relationship going, I do agree with you there. But if you do go to court, things could get really ugly...

T. K.

Hi Y.,
Take it from someone who wasted 16 years waiting for the man that I married to come home. You see, the man that I married never really existed. I had myself convinced that he was mistreated and misunderstood . I made excuse after excuse for his behavior. He was older than I was and he constantly left me with all the responsibility of taking care of our child physically and financially. I thought I couldn't make it or live without him. Guess what? I'm still here and my daughter is all grown up now with babies of her own. You are young, life is out there waiting for you. Live for you and that precious baby. Life is short. You deserve much better!
M. J