Division of Labor - Kew Gardens,NY

I am the one who fixes the computer and anything related to the computer. It is not like I initially had a clue, but I was somehow elected and now I know.

I have often joked "If I wanted to learn to do _____ then I wouldn't have bothered getting married."

10 years in our house and my hubby still asks where the towels are. He just wants to be treated like the prince his mother raised him to think he is.

But when the chips are down, he manages - poorly - but gets it done.

None of my exes could ever seem to figure out how to program the vcr or the universal remote. I was the on e that hooked up most of the home electronics (computers, stereo, etc).

As far as appliances such as the blender, the coffeemaker, the washer and dryer, the vacuum, etc, we both knew how they worked.

Garage - husband's domain (I I can rarely find anything in there)
Shed - his
Kitchen - mine
Laundry room - mine
Our bedrooom - ours
Closets - mine
Backyard - his
Patio - mine
Coffee - used to be all mine
He never used to make any food but sometimes he will now. :)

Edit: I do ALL cleaning! ;)

There are things I do faster, and things he does faster and in general we stick to that. There is not a thing either of us do that the other cannot do as well.

I can't even imagine not knowing how to do everything in my house. Like, waiting till the man comes home to help out the little woman? Ick!

My godfather was like that.
He lived his whole life with his mother or his sisters.
At 50 yrs old he had to read the box in which the tea bags came in order to figure out how to make a cup of tea - we're talking Tetley tea - nothing loose or fancy.
It's just he never had the opportunity to learn to do things for himself because certain things were always just done for him.

My sister's husband (now deceased) didn't know one end of a screw driver from the other - I swear any sort of a tool box was a mystery which was completely beyond him. He wasn't mechanically inclined at all.

In our immediate family - we all do it all - although my husband no longer lets me run anything with a small gasoline engine anymore (chain saw, tiller, etc) - he says I don't mix the oil right.
They're his tools so I don't argue but I never had any trouble with my Mom's lawn mower and I could dry out the spark plug if it flooded and clean the air filter for it just fine.
Our son (15 yrs old) has learned to do his own laundry (he's not going off to college as a laundry virgin) and if he keeps arguing with me about the proper way to load the dishwasher I might have him hand wash the pots/pans/dishes for awhile so he can have that experience (I was my Mom's dishwasher till I was 16 yrs old).

We figured it's easier and smarter to divide and conquer. We can be a jack of all trades but master of none or specialists. I am a specialist in all matters of the kitchen, cleaning, laundry, kid wrangling, banking, instructions reading, etc. My husband is a specialist in the yard, around the house, kid negotiating/diplomacy, outdoor cooking, ironing, cars, electronics, etc. More than once one of us has tried the other guy's specialty; it usually resulted in a shout to the other person to complete the task. No big deal and in a pinch we could figure it out. We almost always wind up saying I'm glad that's your job; thanks for what you do.

this is funny...I just reorganized the kitchen yesterday...

My husband made a shelf for my narrow cabinet that I usually put pizza stones in...now I can put my cup cake tins and cookie sheets in as well! YAHOO!!

He's really handy. I break things. Just last night after dinner I broke the light pull for our hall closet...I'd have to call an electrician to fix it...I broke it GOOD! LOL!!

So I would be lost if I broke something ....he's my Mister Fix It!!

I was surprised at how well he did when I was gone in September taking care of my mom before she died...gone 3 weeks and the house didn't burn down, kids didn't get food poisoning! (he can cook!) and laundry got done!! So damn....I guess he won't be lost without me!!

My husband cleans the kitchen, but I decide where everything goes. And I do the cooking. He doesn't have troube finding anything. (I take apart our juicer and rinse it and leave it for him to clean. Then he reassembles it and puts it away.) He makes the coffee.

My husband would be lost with a lot of things. It's just the way he rolls...if someone else takes care of something, he feels no need to know it. If I were suddenly incapacitated, he would eventually figure out the following but it would take some digging: who the kids' doctor is, who the dentist is, how to pay any of the bills, who their teachers are, who their friends' parents are and how to reach them, where their friends live, how to put money on the lunch accounts, who eats what for breakfast and lunch, how to open the pool, close the pool, and maintain the pool, where the extra paper towels are kept, and how to use any appliances such as the stand mixer or food processor, which he just wouldn't use at all. Actually I had a lot of that info printed and put in a binder a few years ago but it needs to be updated and he has no idea where the binder is or what's in it - it's on the kitchen counter in plain view but he would never look there. Luckily my kids are old enough to fill him in.

There is very little that my husband does that I don't know how to do, but that's just how I am - I like knowing how to do anything I need to know how to do to run my house and my life. Delegation is good, dependence is not. If he were to become incapacitated tomorrow, I would have to figure out where he takes the snow blower to get serviced if needed and how to drive with a trailer on the back of my van. That's about it. I've made it a point to have him show me the things I don't normally do, like bleed the oil burner when it runs out of oil and we add diesel in between deliveries, how to run the snow blower, and which of the gas-powered items like the snow blower and lawn mower run on separate oil and gas or need a blend and how much of each goes in the blend, and I write down those steps or notes and put them in my "how to run the house" binder of handy info like that.

I met my husband when he was working PT in a deli (he managed a warehouse FT elsewhere). While he worked there he'd make me sandwiches - or seomthing to eat. He hasn't made me soemthing to eat since then - more than 20 years ago. He will run the vacuum or get me something to drink, try to fold clothes (ugh - I always beg him not too...)But generally he'll vacuum, do some general upkeep in the yard, or some light maintenence work around the house, and he pays the bill. But I handle most everything else.

The biggest things are I am the one who is aware of what supplies and food we have on hand. I know where pretty much anything in the house is kept, as I am the one who organizes and does all the deep cleaning. My husband will help with tidying the kitchen or doing chores on the weekend, but he never has been the one to think "This closet is a mess, let's organize it".

My husband is in charge of all the outdoor cooking stuff. I could not tell you how much propane we have on hand or how to work the outdoor smoker. That is his area. Likewise, he is in charge of all the electronics. When one of the kids needs help setting up a video game, or an ipad is not working, I don't even try to fix those sorts of problems, I just say, "go talk to Dad".

My wife likes to control things. So I gave her the checkbook, checks, and bills. I had to show her how to balance the checkbook first, but it was a growing experience for her. She bounced a couple of checks, but learned from the experience.

She ran the kitchen until she put so much on her plate she couldn't handle it all. I batched on my own for a couple of years before we got married and so I knew my way around a grocery store (Thanks Mom!!!) and a kitchen.

She now works because I cannot. So I keep the house and especially the kitchen. I'm somewhat of a perfectionist and because she wanted me to be the cook, I worked real hard and won several awards for cooking.

She cleans better than I do, but I make do.

Good luck to you and yours.

Me:
1. Cook
2. Doctor appts
3. Some housework
4. Carpooling/shuttling kids
5. Making lunches
6. All child care and babysitting related issues
7. laundry
8. drycleaning
9. General errands like post office, library book returns
10. food shopping
11. clothes shopping
12. school paperwork
13. social calendar
Hubby:
1. vacuums
2. dusts
3. lightbulb changing
4. pays bills
5. takes out trash
6. fixes things

Hubby works alot and I work PT so the division of labor works well.

I would call that selective ignorance. For example, I COULD learn how to change the time on my watch, but why bother when I can have him do it for me? (Speaking of which...I'm an hour behind right now...)

So my vote is we're all capable of learning how to do something. Sometimes it is just easier to have someone do that task for us.

At this point, I couldn't make a pot of coffee unless I read directions. And of course, that would be quite difficult, because without my cup of coffee delivered by my husband, I couldn't focus to read anything. And I sure do appreciate my breakfast beig prepped.

I think my husband could learn to do anything well, but for now I am the expert in deep cleaning, ironing (infrequently), dinner parties and expressions of sympathy (cards, letters, cookies, lamps, flowers).

All in all, not a bad trade!

this is actually a worry to me sometimes!
when i was single i handled everything fine. not always competently, but enough to get by. and during our early married and parenting years, we both remained reasonably competent in a very broad spectrum of life coping skills.
but we've really fallen into his and her camps as the decades have flow by.
my husband CAN load the dishwasher, do the laundry, take care of the horses, and cook. but since i don't work much these days, and it makes me crazy when he does it *wrong*, he just leaves those things to me, and somehow manages if i go away (i desert him at least once a year for a mental health trip to utah, and sometimes on odd weekends here and there.)
he does the money. if he kicks the bucket before me, or takes off with a 20 year old redhead, i'll have to take it on again. but i won't like it.
he does everything mechanical, and most things electronic. i have zero desire to learn how to do that stuff, so i'd have to pay someone. i SHOULD learn how to run the generator in case i was here alone and the electric was knocked out, and how to do basic upkeep on the mowers, hedge-trimmers, snow-blower and so forth. but i don't wanna.
he'd probably be pleased if i took more interest in 'his' stuff. i just get annoyed when he faffs about with 'my' stuff.
to this day i'd love to have a food processor, but have never got around to getting one because they look too complicated.
:) khairete
S. (who CAN run the vacuum but rarely does- it's his!)

My husband CAN do everything!!! BUT, since he works outside of the home a ton of hours I find myself doing it all. Every. Single. Thing.
I think he would be totally lost if he had to do the bills, doctor appointments, and dentist appointments. If he had to figure out our insurance and who is covered by what. It might make his head pop.
I really am trying to think of things that I ask him to do because I don't know how...and I can't think of one. I do all the inside work, when we had a house I did all of the yard work as well. I change the lightbulbs, get the cars tune ups and oil changes, all domestic chores.
While I do most everything that doesn't mean that if I die he wouldn't be able to. It just may take him a while to figure it all out.
]L.

We have a juicer and my husband is the only one that has used it. The last time he used it, he did not put it back together so I have no clue what ever how to do it. It has been sitting in the pantry for over a year. If I want to make smoothies or something, I use the blender.

As to whether one of us would be lost. Oh yeah. He has no clue regarding the kids and doctors or school. I am going to have to make a book in case I ever get sick or something.

Not really.
We both cook, clean, do laundry, help with homework...
Well cars and lawn is hubby's "domain" but I did handle those things when I was single so I know how.