Diva Baby and Reading Issues

The short, small board books are the best at this age. She may be able to move onto longer stories as she gets older.

I could of wrote exactly what you wrote. My daughter is 12 months and does the same things when reading, tantrums, etc. I think this is normal behavior for a 12 month old because they are starting to test the limits. I just tell my daughter NO firmly and pick her up to move her somewhere else (distraction). If he continues to throw her tantrum, I let her but I ignore the behavior. Eventually she stops because she realizes it isn't working.

First... you are already refering to her as a "diva" which isn't a good thing. Don't play into it and ask that your daycare provider stop using that phrase. Divas aren't born... they're created.

Second... she's a year old. The "rule of thumb" for attention spans is 2-3 minutes for every chronological year. So... whatever you can "squeeze in" in 3 minutes is about as long as she can handle. Focus on "narrating your day" and short picture books. Think of it as building her vocabulary, which is a major predictor of later reading ability.

As for the meltdowns... pick your battles. She's experimenting with how her body works, including her emotions. If she's doing something incorrectly, let it go unless it's unsafe. She'll figure it out eventually and she won't starve/dehydrate if she has to trial-and-error the situation. In fact, she'll learn some pretty important problem-solving skills.

Her tantrums will diminish as her language improves, so again... build the vocabulary. As for needing things "NOW", my guess is that she's used to getting things "on demand". Don't jump every time she squeaks. Let her wait for a minute or two before you bring her the toy- encourage her to use a word (any sound will do) and ask for it.

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That's how it is with most 1 and 2 year olds! After turning 2, most will start sitting in your lap for reading for longer and longer periods, but they usually don't sit still for a whole book (even a board book) at age one. She wants to get up and explore. Get some books with tactile things in them so she can feel them or look in mirrors and that sort of thing. Continue to read to her -but let her roam. She can still hear you if she's up playing with toys or something.

It makes me laugh when I see those commercials to read to your children for at least 20 minutes a day..... Try for a couple minutes with picture books and point out the pictures. My son is very, very active. He is almost 4 and finally at around 3 he would really sit for a long time and read books with me. Don't stress out over it, some kids cooperate and others don't!

Others have suggested tactile books or a book she can interact with. One excellent old stand-by is "Pat the Bunny". You might also try making your own "book" of pictures of people she knows (relatives, especially). Keep it REALLY short!!! And, unfortunately, reading is not always the nice, cozy experience we as moms want it to be. You might need to choose your reading times very carefully and wait another year or two for it to be the bonding experience you're hoping for. I always loved reading time with my girls -- and it was so much fun once they were ready for it, but so frustrating for both of us before that. Give it time.

As for the behavior, I agree that sometimes tantrums are a reaction for kids who just can't quite verbalize their feelings and frustrations. Be gentle, but firm (if that makes sense) and be sure to praise her when she gets things correct. Pay attention to your child and be as consistent as possible, keeping in mind her age and the circumstances (for instance, if nap-time was late or cut short, you might allow a little more misbehavior than on a normal day).

Hang in. She'll be fine -- and so will you!

What she does with books is normal and throwing tantrums is normal for this age too. When she has a tantrum put her in a chair for some quiet time and that you'll talk to her when she quiets down. Or let her throw her fit and and ignore her when she does it. It's all for attention and she can't express herself so that is frustrating for her. Let her figure out her sippy cup for herself.

That's just part of being a baby. Now, having said that, you should read to your kids for a least 10 minutes every day. The best time to read, to a small child, that doesn't like to sit still, is bedtime (when they are tired). Develop a routine. Put on pajamas, brush teeth, read. Be consistant. Kids thrive when they have a routine. My oldest loved to read on our bed, my youngest, prefered the rocking chair in her room. By the time my oldest was talking she would grab a book, after she put her pjs on because she wanted to read a story. Developing a routine will come quicker than you think. As far as using things the proper way...be consistant. Correct her. She is not going to do this overnight, but it will happen. Same with manners. Once they learn how to talk teach them please and thank you. It will seem like you are constantly saying it, but eventually it just clicks and they do it on their own. You just have to be consistant. Every time they ask for something, have them say please. Everytime they are given something, have them say thank you. It will work... eventually. :) Good luck!

We have a similar situation with our 9.5 month old son. He just wiggles and squiggles and grabs and throws... All he wants to do is play with the book, chew on it, crumple up the pages. I mentioned this to our pediatrician at his 9 month check up and she said not to worry about it; her two kids were the same way! Eventually she'll grow into keeping more calm and focused, but this is how you have to start teaching her. Just keep doing what you're doing, get her some board books so you don't have to worry about pages being ripped, etc. They can handle them and learn how to turn the "pages" themselves. Our pedi. said once they get to 18-24 months they will just *love* books and being read to. I know I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Sometimes I'll put out the Seuss only to get half way through, oh well! I'm hoping he'll want to read it over and over when he's older any way :)

Sounds like the other issues are just a matter of patience, too. You have a spirited daughter who likes things her way. Try to appreciate her passion and zeal for life! Personally, I would talk to your daycare provider and let her know you don't appreciate the term "diva"; it has a very negative connotation and children are very keen about how they are spoken about. I had a cousin who was always introduced as shy and was never given an opportunity to come out of her shell; she struggled into her early 20's with things like socialization and voicing complaints. This could affect your daughter in a very negative way.

I know it's hard, I struggle with similar issues too but I've already learned if I try to "boss" my guy around it just makes things so much worse. It turns into a battle of wills- one I feel that I am sure to lose. Some loose discipline may be in line, telling her "No!" in a firm voice if she's doing things she's not suppose to. Try to take away things away if she is abusing/ruining them. I try to take a toy away that he is playing with, look at it for a few minutes and then give it back. That way maybe he'll learn that it's just a temporary thing, it's really not so bad to have things taken away. Try showing her how the use the sippy by demonstrating it yourself rather than forcing her to do it the right way.

I hope this helps, and good luck!!

Reading to your 12 month old, sounds a lot like what used to go on with my and my daughter when she was 12 months. It is a pretty typical reaction at this age. Their attention span isn't very long. You might try not reading for short spurts at a time.
Personally as my daughter got older we could sit and read a little longer. Now at 2 and a half she loves to read story after story. It is to the point I have to tell her "Only two stories, no more." or something like that because she will want to hear every book we own!

My daughter, now two, also went through this at 12 months. She's still very active, but will now sit and read books for a very long time! What I did was started having a reading time with her each day... we'd sit and look at books together for about 10 minutes, and then I gradually increased the time from there. Give her a toy or book to hold while you read a different book to her. When she wants to be done or wants to switch books, try to get her to last just a little longer. Over time (as well as her just getting older) it will increase her attention span. You can use the same technique when playing with her - get her to play with a toy just a little longer than she wants to. Of course it's important for her to also have tons of free play time by herself where she can roam from toy to toy or book to book as she pleases, but if you do this once or twice a day it really can help.

Read to her only as long as she'll allow it. Don't force the issue. You don't want to associate reading with any negative experiences. However, with regard to tantrums, you have to take a firm stance. The best way to deal with them is to ignore her completely. A tantrum is a test of wills and if you give in, she will continue to have them. Don't yell or give in to her. Any attention, negative or otherwise, will encourage her to keep it up. If you say anything, say something like "you are not going to get what you want by crying" and walk away. Even if you are in public, ignore her. Keep doing what you're doing while she throws her fit, and go about your business. If it's too much for you, then pick her up and bring her to the car, put her in her car seat and ignore her until she calms down. It'll take a great deal of patience on your part, but after awhile she will realize that throwing tantrums won't get her anywhere and she'll stop. You may have to abandon your full grocery cart a few times, but it'll be worth it. Also, after the tantrum try to get her to say sorry then praise her for being calm. And when she asks nicely for what she wants, praise her for that.

Good luck!

this too shall pass.... try and enjoy it for what it is.

Instead of trying to get your daughter to sit on your lap while you read, maybe lie on the floor on your tummy and "read" the book yourself, quietly. She may find it much more interesting when she isn't really "invited" - although, of course, lying on the floor is inviting her! They just want to do what you do and when she comes to see what you are up to, you can just start reading. If she wonders away, try again later. That has worked for my kids.

Also, maybe try reading before bed, and tell her you'll read a couple books, but as soon as she gets up it's time to be tucked in. Then do that, even if you only get a few words in. Maybe she'll start to realize the more the reads the more time she gets before bed time....

Just tell her stories- preferably about a girl named (insert her name or nickname) and make them cute and relevant to her life. My first daughter was like this for her toddlerhood and is now 10 and LOVES to read, so it's not necessarily the books, but the time spent, the vocab you use, and let her see you reading too.

Another thought, maybe try flash cards with pictures and words once in awhile to change up from books. That way the pictures/ideas can be random and you can just go through as many as she wants at a time. Maybe its three, and the next time it's five. But then you also don't get frustrated with never finishing a story:) She will still be learning! Good luck and don't worry!

Stop trying to "read" the books to her. at her age the attention span is about 1 minute for each year of age. so in her case 1 minute lol. Get board books that she can hold and just point stuff out to her. look at the red ball, see the bird etc.... at her age its all about the sounds and pictures not so much about the story. as far as being the diva of the group she is a year old her world is all about her lol. the sippy cup i would offer her the drink and take the cup right back.