Disrespectful Teens in South Fort Worth Area

ok this really spoke to me. this is advice coming from a very troubled teen at one time. i was like your daughter i had two older sisters and i loved to hang out all night!! guess what i was doing with my sister, drinking, hanging out with older guys,and eventually i started smoking. my mom got remarried to a wonderful man and he worked very hard on getting me back on the right road, well it took a few years but i had enough really horrible stuff happen to me and i straigtend up. you need to put a stop to this now!!!!! because she may not chose the path i did and she could end up doing worse. no matter how hard she pushes you need to push back harder!! every once in awhile the girls going to see a movie or something ok, but your daughter needs to be hanging out with kids more her age, and definatly not out with her sister that late not even on weekends, because if they get caught you will have the police knocking on your door trust me. you sound like a very wonderful mother who cares. i just dont want you to have to go through the pain my mom did and i dont want her to go through the same pain and experiences i did at a young age. good luck and god bless!

E., my heart goes out to you. Been there done that. My youngest daughter went through a hard time when she broke up with her first love of 5 years. Trying to deal with that and entering back in to the dating world she had a hard time. She thought big sister got all the looks, personality, charm and talent, so she had a hard time finding herself. She was staying out past her curfew and drinking and not calling to let me know that she would be late. I got so tired of asking and telling her that this was our house and we made the rules (and all that other STUFF that parents preach to thier kids), that one night when I was so upset and worried, I lost it. When she came in with an attitude that she was old enough to do what she wanted and didn't have to say I'm sorry for being late and not calling, I told her if she couldn't abide by the rules she could pack her things and get out. Well she did just that. About 4 months later with one of her visits to the house she said "mom if I move back home what will the rules be" and I just smiled at her and said " just the same as they were when you left". She did come back home a couple of weeks later and things were so much better. Tough love is hard. I think I worried more when she was gone that when she was home. God helped me through many tearful nights. I can't imagine going through this without a husband by my side, but God knows our needs and he will see you through too if you just trust him. I don't know your situation with your husband but your daughter may be lashing out from pain and this is the only way she knows how to deal with it, even though she knows better and has probably been raised better. Kids need to have boundaries and consequences for their actions. Their choices today affect their tomorrows. Lord knows that the teenage years are the worst for a parent I think. Now that both of my daughters are married, I have heard them say may times to their friends, "boy my mom was so right. She knew what she was talking about". I just get frustrated all over again and say, Lord why couldn't they see that then :) But I guess that's the learning process. It was so hard for me to let go and let God. If you have raised them in Christ and taught them what Gods word says, then you just have to believe that God is working in her heart and trust that she will make mistakes but she will always return to what she knows is right and more importantly, to HIM. Just pray a hedge of throns of protection around her and ask God to send his angels out before her to keep her safe. I don't know if this was advice or just a testimony of my experience but sometimes you just need to know that others have had the same circumstances and made it through and you will too. Hang in there and don't lose faith. My prayers go up for you today.

That 19 year old maybe your daughter, but she is no longer (legally) your responsibility. She is an "adult" and she act accordingly. You have got to show "tough love". Tell her to adhere to your rules or put her out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have got to do it if you ever want to get the respect you deserve from your 15 year old because she becomes your second 19 year old at the age of 15.

It will be hard, but you have got to stand your ground since you are supposed to be the "only woman" in that household!!

Dear E.--

I am sorry your are going through this. I would say that your are going to have to take some steps that will make your daughters really upset. Take their car keys if necessary. If you don't want to do that, follow them and show up where they are hanging out with friends once curfew comes around. Old fashioned embarassment always worked for me. When my dad showed up at a party when I was 17, I decided the embarassment wasn't work breaking the curfew. I got home on time after that.

The Lord will get you through this for sure.I know I have already raised my first 3,and it was a very difficult time the teenage years.I totally believe in tough Love it is hard to do but sometimes we just have to for our on sanity.My daughter now 20 yrs old gave me the most trouble and I thought that this was never going to end,but it did.She is now married and has 1 child and one on the way,and she has turned out to be just what I wanted her to be after all lol.My sons well they gave me trouble too through the teen years,but when they graduated and were still mouthy I told them they had 3 months to get a job and to get out on their own,so they did and they have now both joined the military and have grown up alot.I will keep you in my prayers!1

It sounds like these girls need some rules and suffer some consequences when they don't follow these rules. If your 19 year old doesn't want to follow your rules while living under your roof, she needs to get out on her own. I think some tough love is called for here for their sake as well as for yours.

I'm so sorry for all the pain you're experiencing. It is truly heartbreaking when your children are rebellious. I know you probably don't want to do this, but you need to give your 19 year-old an ultimatum: Play by my rules or move out. It sure isn't easy and the opportunity for her to get into more trouble is definitely a possibility. But you've got to let her know that BECAUSE you love her and your other daughter, you can't let them behave this way under your roof. Life is comfortable right now. She has her needs met and somebody waiting at home for her(and a little 'pet' to drag along with her). People have a way of changing their ways when it's no longer fun. Does she have a job? She sounds like she has too much time on her hands. Don't give her the option of going to live with another relative, she needs to be on her own. When she's forced to grow up things may change sooner than if you keep taking care of her. Don't let her spend time away from the house with your 15 year-old. Just don't allow it. If your 15 year-old goes out anyway, report it to the police and let her face whatever consequences come with that. People generally don't do what's not fun. It sounds like they are getting away with a lot. Keep praying and start putting your foot down. Your kids will thank you. I pray that you are able to find peace in your home. God bless you. D.

If you're 19 yr old doesn't live with you (and you don't pay her bills) there isn't much you can do since legally in texas she's an adult. If she's still in high school tho (and at 19 she could very well be) then you can turn her into the truant officer of that high school(if she's not going).

As for the 15 yr old...she DOES live in your house and it is YOU that pays for her upbringing. So YOU make the rules here. You are not here to be her friend. Stop trying...she already has plenty. She needs you to be her mom.

In Texas it is LAW that you have to send your daughter to school...PERIOD. If you don't, the state comes after the parents (trust me on this my son was absent...even excused and I had to go to court to take care of it). Make sure she's aware of the consequences of not coming home. Take things away, ground her. And it's NOT about her going out with her sister. It's about defying you. Don't make it about that. If her sister wants to spend time with her, she has ample opportunity.

I am sure that you want to forage a relationship between your youngest and your oldest...but there's other ways of doing it.

Sending Happy thoughts your way.

Raising teen girls is never easy. STICK TO YOUR GUNS!!

I completely understand what you are going through with the teenagers. I have 3 girls ages 17, 15 and 6. I went through a divorce after 17years of marriage which did not help the situation with the teenagers. I have prayed constantly for them and now I have started a book called Power of a Praying Parent. Pray for your own strength and wisdom and keep doing the praying for the girls. Keep your Faith and you will make it through this.

I am right there with you. Same area of town and my girls are 13 and 14. I have been raising them by myself for the last 12 years. I just wanted to back up the earlier advice. Stick to your guns, be the mom and not a friend and keep praying. Our God is the God of the impossible and he loves you and your girls. He will give you the strength, courage and wisdom you need. He never dissapoints. God bless you and I am praying for you!