Our son is a wonderful, and for the most part, very well-behaved child. There are times lately,however, where he is beginning to "act out" by having small tantrums. The main frustration is when we are out to dinner and he throws food everywhere and gets really loud. This doesn't happen all the time, but when it does it is very stressful and embarrassing. I don't want to stop going out altogether because then he will never learn how to behave in public, but am unsure of how to handle him when it does. My question is, do any of you have experience with this and how do you know when it is time to start disciplining your child? I definitely believe in starting young and establishing rules in behavior, etc., but need some advice on the "how-tos" and "when-tos"
Thanks in advance!
I have a 22 month old son who will do the same thing. I usually find a spot away from people and sit him down. I look him in the eye and explain what he is doing wrong and what I expect. I make him just sit there for 2 minutes, since he is almost 2. I also use this method in my house and he knows exactly which corner to sit in when he is being bad. it works great for me.
good luck!
It's never too early to start training a child in how to behave, in public or otherwise. At 15 months, when your son throws his food, you take his hands and tell him "No, sir. We don't throw food". If he continues, you take the food away. If he pitches a fit or starts screaming, you take him out to the car for a timeout. Make him sit in his seat and don't look at him or interact with him. He will realize that it's more fun to be inside behaving than sitting out in the car by himself. When his timeout is over, you explain that you are taking him back inside and that if he continues to throw food, he will have to go back to the car.
Also, when he is at home, you make the same rules apply. If he throws his food, you take him out of his chair and the meal is over. He will learn pretty quickly that he won't get to eat his food if he throws it.
If you start now, you will make life so much easier. It's about setting expectations for what is acceptable behavior and what is not and he is certainly old enough to begin learning that.
My #6 is 2 and #7 is 1. We take them to some of the best restraunts in town and they behave well and eat adult food. Discipline is started at home when they are born. We do NOT allow them to throw food or be loud at the table at home. They are both taught to put a napkin in their lap and sit like ladies at the home table, therefore that is what they know to do when we go out. Our 1 yr old is messier than our 2 yr old by nature. There are some things they just learn as they get older. If our make a fuss at the table in a restraunt, I take them OUTSIDE of the restraunt and we have a little talk. Then they are ready to sit down. I do NTO like noisy children in a restraunt. I am weird and old fashioned by thinking that training starts early and children should be quiet at the table. I think if you start the training at home that you wil see a big difference when you go out. hth
I agree with Heather, the first respondant. Another thing I do with my two year old son, is I let him know before we go into the restaurant or store that I need him to behave. Of course I use language that he easily understands. When we are in the store, I take him to the toy dept. first and allow him to choose a handful of toys to play with while I shop, does not mean I buy them. I explain that to him as well. At the restaurant, when he starts being silly, I whisper in his ear that I will give him a spanking if he does not calm down. He understands that and tells me he does not want a spanking and then I remind him of my expectation. It is all about relaying communication and boundaries.
As far as any observers or third parties, don't even worry about it. Focus on your child not on society (which always has something to say). You are doing the best with what you know, we all are.
Best wishes!
I would do what Valerie suggested and if telling him no doesn't work, then pick him up and leave the restaurant when he starts doing that, no need to ruin the other patrons dinners. Explain to him that when he can be a big boy, then you all will stay and eat in a restaurant.
Valerie said exactly what I was going to say. As they get older, then they decide they want to get up & run around the table, etc. We finally figured out to stop threatening & actually take our 3.5 yo out of the restaurant for time-out in the car. when he comes back, he either eats or plays or reads his books quietly. we don't mind him joining the conversation, but he does have to be respectful of the other patrons in using inside voices and not throwing things. I don't agree with kiddos having to be silent at the table, but they do need to have proper manners.
I turn the high chair around so my chid is not facing the table. After about 10 seconds of screaming (yes, embarrassing, but no time like the present to put your foot down), I give them another chance. Seems to work with my kids, as they don't like being excluded or ignored. Good Luck. Also, at home it is not too early for time outs. Just put your child in any location away from the issue, even 10 feet away and say time out. He is too little to stay in one spot, but they quickly learn what time out means and usually stop the behaviour that caused the time outs. Full out tantrums are another thing, and really need to be ignored. Just walk away. I have 4 children 7, 5, 2X 2. The older 2 are perfect ;-), and the little ones are quickly learning the rules and regulations.
Congrats on your beautiful boy, L.!
Keep in mind that exercising discipline is not something you "start" to do. It's a way of life. It's not about punishment, and all consequences are not "bad". That might help you with some of the "when-tos". It's never too early to implement consequences for acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior; it's a matter of communication.
This is what's worked for me: When a baby would start to throw food, I'd calmly take it away and say, "No". (Don't let him know that you're excited because that will drive him. All he knows is that he's getting attention and raised blood pressure for it; he doesn't know the difference between your good attention and bad.) I'd go on with my eating and "ignore" him for a minute, then slide it back over to him and smile and show excitement, and maybe even feed him a bite. Show that same excitement when you first give it to him, to get the ball rolling. You don't want him to feel good only when you're giving it back after you've had to take it away.
I've never had to deal with babies being loud, so.... By the way, it also has never bothered me for a baby to be loud in a restaurant, unless he was crying. I mean, I don't see babies when I'm in a romantic environment with my husband, so any other place is fine. Anyone who doesn't understand that can just...kiss it!
