Disagreements over Violent Games

L., you are obviously plugged in to your children and deeply concerned about their well-being, as well as feeling a need to be true to what is right. Act from your heart, Sweetie. Your boys need their mom's guidance where others may drop the ball, even with the best of intentions. Don't be afraid and don't get tired - these little ones will have a tremendous impact on their world...for good or for bad. Lots of grace to you!

Hi L. K,

Both my husband and I work/or have a law enforcement and corrections background. I do get concerned about violent video games. I insist that our children do not even play with squirt guns. My main reason is due to accidental shootings.

However, my husband believes with the proper training of a gun's function and maybe even a hunting trip for focus on the reality of the gun's nature can be just as effective as sheilding the child from the violence on TV or video games. My husband states "I have grew up around guns and video games and I'm not shooting people because they piss me off. I grew up with the proper training. These children have psychological issues that started way before their mom and dad divorced, before their uncle sexually assualted them and fellow peers made fun of them. The disfunction was triggered with those events, and because the child was never taught the difference of fiction and non-fiction they decided to use the gun. And yes, they figured it was like a movie or video game, but it's important to teach the child about guns, death, to not sheild them so tragedies such as school shootings happen."

I agree with my husband, but I also feel that even teaching a child the difference does not give permission for the participation of violent video games. I feel that too much exposure will result in nipping at their innocence.

I hope this helped a little bit, not too contradicting I hope.

I agree wit you about the violence.
i believe in teaching them to be smart in the real world but.... they are too young. keep them as inosent as you can for as long as you can. fight with your hubby about that. he can play violent games when they go to bed. Go with your gut. protect your babies as long as you can.follow your instincs.you go girl.

I can see where you are coming from. You have to remember that that most school shootings happen because a child is getting bullied. If your boys watch the news with you they are seeing just as much violence the only differeance is it is real. I grew up watching violent movies with my father and older brother it did not have a negative effect on me. My parents helped me understand the differance between what was real and make believe. I am a tom boy still it was my choice to be one. Tey my mother thought me manners and what not. Maybe you could be the balance to all the violence that your boys see. Boys used to play cowboys and indians and no one ever said that it made them violent. If you teach them the differance and that there actions have real consequecnes they will be fine. I ahve seen more kids that are violent that were kept away from video games and not taught manners then those who have the violent video games.

I also have a 9 yr old boy and an 11 yr old girl. both of which are not allowed to play or even watch someone else play any game that promotes killing, or hurting a person for any reason. even if it is a cop shooting a bad guy. (which should never be put into games anyway. ask any cop who has had to shoot a person and they will agree.) I also work at an elementary school as a teacher's aide for 5th graders. I interact with the kids on the playground and have to 'referee' them also. (and that is for all age groups K-6th) There is so much violence in their lives it is very scary. They see nothing wrong with hitting, pushing, shoving, biting to get what they want. Even with the boys will be boys thing, it seems that it only gets more common to just punch, trip, shove each other. and what is truly scary is that is very very common for kinders. Unfortuneatly with our society, violence is glorified and made to look cool. The kids are exposed to movies, music, video games and even sports where people hurt each other and everyone thinks it is ok. We actually got rid of our video games systems. Both my kids are only allowed to play games on the computer on Saturdays (after their chores are done) and only for a limited time. We strongly encourage them to play outside; ride bikes, play catch, football, play with the dogs, jump on the trampoline. My husband and I are very luckily in agreement on these so it isn't an issue. We have taken the kids out to a shooting range with his guns, and bags of brick ice to show them what guns really do. We are firm believers in teaching them early what a gun can do and how much damage it can make. That is something you may want to do also, esspecially with your husband in training. he will have a gun on him, and your boys will see it and want to touch it. probably more if they are playing video games that use guns. They may not see a gun as a threat.

I hope this helps you.

I have a son who will be 2 in January and all the violence even in video game commercials freaks me out a little. I work in an early learning center that deals with children from domestic violence backgrounds as well as drug and homeless backgrounds. Some of these children have witnessed extreme violence first hand and alot of them like to play "shooting" games at school. My son has already picked up on it and it scares me. There are some days when I just want to keep him hidden away from everything and never let him see how bad the world really is but I know I can't. I just make sure that my husband and I watch all of our beloved violent movies and shows after he is in bed and can't see them. I don't want him to think that stuff is ok like these shows and games make it look.

I think you have every right to put your foot down. My husband grew up with an older brother adn they were "all boy" and allowed to play the games and play with guns etc. I have fought tooth and nail to have such things not allowed in my house. My defense and argument: When he was growing up, it was a much different world, the most he practiced in school was a tornado drill, no one had ever yeard of the "shooter in the school drill"

My oldest son is only 5 but we recently discovered Cartoon Network and with in a few days of watching it I noticed a huge change in his attitude and the way he played with his toys and siblings. We have since blocked the channel and after some time he his back to "normal" for the most part.

Your husband playing the games is one thing: he is a grown man and understands what the game is: a game. Your son's are still growing and developing and although the know it is a game, it still changes the way they view things and the way they think. Yeah, the could see some violence on the news, but on the news you don't see people hunting other people down and shooting them, personally I don't even watch the news when the kids are around because of what they can see. But that said, I think kids are less likely to sit glued to the tv when the news is on, unlike a video game.

My two cents, for what it is worth: stick to your guns,pun intended :)

M.

Hello L.,
I am in support of your values and agree, my 2 boys are 20 and 17, when they was little I wouldn't allow toy guns eather and those violent games are very dissheartening for these young people, I would divert their attention to something else maybe get your older one involved in 4-h or some kind of other activitie for all your boys, I know it can be frustrating my husband likes Doom and a few others I can't even remember, keep your beleifs and values don't give up on this issue, I also have a problem with such violent and sexual rap music that my 14 yr old trys listening to,she's now trying to get her 11yr old little sis to listen to I try and keep her liking country music and christian uhhh;( if I knew the importance of partnership in parenting before I became one I'd probly would have made different dicisions.....keep in touch