Dinnertime Woes

Mke food fun & pick you battles.

Fun food

Zucci bread, carrot cake, baked sweet potato fries & cubed fruit & veggies ( bite size) , most like to graze at this time. it shows independence . isn't that what we want.

Does it matter where she eats at this time she is 2.
(with in reason)

You need to read T Barry Brazelton's book ( HE IS GOOD)

Give her vitamin supplements & dint' sweat the small stuff

I am facing a similar battle now. It is a lot easier for me to respond to you then it is for mo to stick with what I know that I should do, and I am happy that you posted b/c it helps me to be more focused. So, with that said, here's my response: Do the same thing every day repeat verbally what you want/expect from her. As far as food only provide what you originally offered. What I am going to do now that I am focused is have my son sit in the high chair for dinner and breakfast and on the regualr chair for lunch, to get him used to it. I will now only give him what is offered, he'll eventually get it and the more of a battle we have now the less of one we'll have later. So, I guess what I am saying is Bring of the Battle for now, it will get better.

Children can need to be exposed to a new flavor up to 15 times before they like it. Have her try each vegetable this many times. You control the foods. She controls the amounts. Keep track.

Your daughter sounds normal and intelligent. Maybe you could try (I said Try - she's a little young for this) giving her simple and appropriate choices, involving her in the process of dinnertime. For example, "Tonight we are having a teddy dinner party. You pick the teddy to come and show her what we eat at dinner. Would you like chicken or fish?" I think sometimes we make dinner way too serious for the little guys. Two or three bites and a sip of something and they're done... The more entertained they are at dinner, the longer they will linger (thus the classic Disney character brunch or dinner). Don't get frustrated. You are both just trying to figure things out at this point and as long as you pick your battles, it will all work out. Good-luck!

hi J.

sounds like you are defintely dealing with the "terrible twos". At around two, some children go on what are called "food jags", meaning they insist on eating only certain things. things that can be thought of as weird. but it usually time limted. she is getting protein, and fruits. if she is healthy i would just ride it out and supplement her with a good multivtamin/mineral supplement. if it goes on for several more months, i would consult my doc. good luck!!
ps. pick your battles. if there is space, and the booster seat will fit on her playroom chairs, is their any reason why her playroom table and chairs can't stay in the eating area. if she insists on eating on the floor, why not get a nice tablecloth, mat, rug, etc and don't sweat it. like you said - you don't want meal time to be a battle. it is my feeling that the family eating at the same time supercedes whether they all sit at the table. my family had similar issues. so, we just alternated between eating at the table if we felt like it or all eating on trays in the living room. wherever it was, it was usually fun!
good luck!

About Me:
Mother of six adult children.

I agree with Podycat and Hannah P in their approach. One thing need to remember when we pick our battles is "what am I training my child to do when I give in?" I mean, even when we don't think we are training, we are. We reinforce their behavior by how we respond to it, ya know? I understand that you don't want meal time to be a battle, but when we let them set the standards, or dictate what we do, we are training them that they can have what they want all the time. Let's face it, that's not reality. I know they are only two (I have a two year old too), but they are smarter than we give them credit for sometimes. You don't have to be a tyrant, but you do need to be consistent and firm, without becoming frustrated or angry. That's a challenge, I'm sure, but we are more equipped to control our behavior than they are, so we can handle it, right? I think you need to decide where you want her to sit at meal times and make it consistent at every meal. That is her chair for meals, and let her know she's not to get down out of it. Be calmly firm and after a few days of 100 % consistency, she will get the picture. Like Hannah P said, YOU set the standards. And make sure to follow through consistently. Kids at that age NEED that kind of consistency for security and teaching anyway. As far as the eating thing, we went through a month or two where my son's eating habits changed and I would let him have whatever he wanted just to make sure he was eating. But then I realized he was getting more and more picky about what he wanted and as a result more and more difficult to feed. I then realized that if he gets hungry enough, he's going to eat. I don't mean I starve him, but if we're having chicken for dinner and he doesn't want chicken, that's too bad. I discovered that after a few nights of realizing that he can't just have whatever he wants, and that he'll be hungry if he refuses to eat what's put in front of him, he now eats what we eat. Even if it's just a little, I am satisfied. I feel I have better equipped him for adulthood and to be a pleasant and enjoyable child to everyone he comes in contact with. I know its just food or sitting at the table, but it's the principle behind it. Does that make sense? The world doesn't revolve around him. S/He needs to learn that. True, in my mind, often he IS my world. I love him and enjoy him SO much, but you know what I mean. They need not be trained that what they want they can have and they have the right to demand it of everyone. Anyway, back to the food thing. Now, if he doesn't eat enough for dinner I always make sure to give him another "meal" before bedtime, usually his favorite (I'm lucky - his favorite is raisin bran and oatmeal, or broccoli!), to make sure he's well nourished and full too. But we do make him eat a few bites of whatever we're having before he can get down. (sometimes they just aren't hungry at dinner time too, ya know? But just getting them used to that routine of sitting at the table at meal time and eating what is offered is good training). I hope that all made sense. I just am of the belief that I can't necessarily always pick my battles as it is convenient or less frustrating, but to think of how I am training my child if I give in to their every whim. What kind of character is this going to instill in them down the road? What am I setting myself up for in the future? I'd rather experience some frustration in training now, when it is easier to break their habits than when they are adolescent and teenagers and living a life that is indulgent in what they want when they want it. I love them too much to train them that way. Consistency, love and example are KEY!

My oldest daughter went through the same thing, she would ONLY eat mac and cheese for the longest time, then it was something else, whichever new thing besides what we had for dinner, at the time I let her eat what she wanted figuring it was food and if she didn't have something that she wanted then I knew she wouldn't eat at all. I asked her doctor as I was concerned and he simply said she is growing, she is healthy, so it's not an issue. Now she eats veggies, meat, everything that is great for her, she actually doesn't like mac and cheese anymore and would much rather fruits and veggies over french fries. Hang in, I am sure it's just a phase and I would keep introducing it to her, not every day but at least a couple times a week and see how that goes. As long as she is growing and is healthy she'll be fine. :)

Yes, the "Meal Time Battle", we know it all too well, especially with twins! Went though the same thing....try a behavioral chart, stick it on the fridge, you can focus on her single behavior. Go to "www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com", which has good advice on how to use them. Have the focus of the chart be her sitting properly at the dinner table and using "appropriate dinner behavior" Use those words, and yes, even though she is only "2" she will caught on.

We told our boys that what is for dinner "is for dinner" and that "this is not a restaurant" (and of course, we didn't serve weird or yuckie meals"). If they didn't eat what we made, they would not get dessert. That's what worked for us. The doctor once told us...."they won't starve", so if she refuses to eat after trying the chart, etc. you could then tell her that she is "dismissed from the table" and that she will have to wait for breakfast tomorrow. I know it sounds harsh, but sometimes tough love will break the bad behavior. I was told this is a "power struggle issue"
Good Luck!

What she is doing is setting up dinner time like mommy! This is not direct rebellion type stuff. I would wait until at least 3 to "make" her do the civilized meal. Sometimes it is okay sooner, but why? I watch for attitudes with their actions and then determine which way to go. The story you tell is that she is having fun and is just copying what she sees.

After speaking with an Occupational Therapist my son was seeing regarding sensory issues, she informed me that kids, in general, don't like the feeling of their feet being off the floor and dangling (sit in a high chair and have your feet dangling and see how it feels). For this reason, I allow my son, now 6, to sit on his knees at the table. Maybe it's not PC but it works.

Because I could tell being that high up bothered him, I also brought his table and chair, that he can sit at with his feet touching the floor. He was allowed to use his table and chair for breakfast and lunch.. but had to join the family for dinner (I wanted to instill dinner as a family is important at an early age). Sometimes, he still stands besides his chair at the table, instead of on his knees. To me, being with family was more important (as you know by now, you choose your battles).

You can grind your foods up and mix them with something she will eat (carrots with spaghetti sauce, cauliflower with mashed potatoes) or make them special: We did raw veggies with the 'special dip'. Most kids LOVE dipping (yours like ketchup).. so carrots, brocolli, green peppers, cucmbers... whatnot - cut and offered with the special dip.

Now, he's out of the 'dip phase' but he's aquired a love for veggies and has been known to eat a whole can of those mini corns in one sitting (again, the mini corns are special to him).

I hope you avoid battles as much as possible - because food isn't about a lot of things - but it is about being healthy. (what it's not about is up to you to decide ;-)

-C.

First of all, don't fall into the "hide the veggies in snack food" trap. If you want to teach your child to eat properly, they have to SEE what they're eating.

One thing I can recommend is, be consistant and remain firm. Another is, it's OK to compromise on some things. For instance, my daughters (5 and 3) will eat almost anything - including veggies - but don't like pork. When I serve pork with, say, rice and asparagus, I give them the rice & asparagus, but will give them chicken nuggets. As long as they get their veggies, grain and meat, I'm OK.

Another (and this one worked great with my 3-year-old, who isn't actually going to be 3 until Thursday) is...no dessert or any after-dinner snacks unless they eat an acceptable amount of actual dinner.

Lastly, occasionally serve a dinner that you know she likes, but YOU eat it, too! My girls love it when I make chicken nuggets & french fries, or mac'n'cheese, for the whole family.

Incidentally, we have always eaten dinner as a family. I don't tend to serve the girls one thing and myself & my husband something completely different (with the exception of the above mentioned examples).

Remember, the MOST important one is "consistant and firm". YOU are the parent. A few battles now will relieve you of a bunch of worse battles later.

J., My kids are 31, 27 and 20 so I am way beyond you... but there is hope! This will pass, I use to say no eat at the table or don't eat at all. When ever I gave in each time they would push for a little more, kinda like your little one is doing. My kids would eat only one kind of vegetable so give them that. As they got older I would offer veg. cut up with ranch dip etc. frozen pea's whatever. Ketchup it's part vegetable ;-)

Hi J.,

The Question you have to ask is Do I let my child set the standards of behavior? Call me neanderthal, old-fashioned what ever, but in my home I'm the adult and I set the standards. My toddler sits at the table or high-chair near table. My toddler eats veggies first, then gets the food he really likes. In my case thats the meat. If he does not eat he gets no dessert. Usually he eats. young childrens eating habits are set now when they are between birth and 5 years of age. You can set conciquences for dis obedience. Examples; ioss of favorite activity or toy. the first time is hard but each time you stick to your resolve the child will come around consistancy always and routine. Children thrive on routine and your life will be easier for it. Good luck, it's not easy raising children but very rewarding along the way. Mother of 6 so I know. H. P.

When my son was a 'pup', I went through the same thing. He wouldn't eat vegetables. So I got some veggie seeds and helped HIM to plant, water, weed etc.. The only rule was that he had to eat whatever HE grew. He was THRILLED when his garden started peeking up through the soil. Today he still LOVES vegetables.
At meal time, you might try finding little things she can do to 'help' prepare the food. Have her throw crutons into the salad or shake the bag of shake and bake (put a twisty tie on it) Anything that she can be part of making the meal.. Today, my son is an excellent cook.
D.

hi,

I have an 8 yr old, 6 yr old and 3 yr old. I'm a pretty easy going person, but I have to tell you that if you ever want a semi-civilized dinner, it will ALWAYS be a challenge and you're going to have to get more strict at the table. My kids have to sit at the table (and I still have to remind them like 20 times during dinner between the 3 of them) and they have to eat what I serve (at least a couple bites--most times the number of bites is the same number as thier age). You have to train your kids to eat healthy food--it doesn't come naturally when there are so many kinds of food readily available. You have to train them to sit at the table--it's hard to sit still when you're little and have so much energy. But I can tell you that it has paid off. It isn't easy, but it's easier than having a bunch of crazy people and having to be embarassed when someone comes to visit for dinner.

I hope I don't sound to regimented for you--I really am a nice mommy:) good luck!

We are going threw this with our 19 month old. If you get any good advicse please share thabk you. Lets hope it is a faze they will row out of soon.
C. & Adeline Temple NH

Hi J.-
I have 2 kids, my daughter is 5 & my son is 3. Dinner time was a nightmare for us as well so we decided to make dinner a fun family time. We let the kids sit at their table(a small disney set) or sometimes we have an indoor "picnic" on the kitchen floor. The rule is they have to eat good-they are getting much better eating a good variety-at least trying different things. We don't do this ever night, usually weekends or for lunch when its just the kids & I we'll have a picnic & watch tv or listen to music. Dinner was so mentally exhausting for us(our own fault) I guess we just have to pick our battles! Good luck!

Sounds like you have to put your foot down before hers get too big!! :) You need to reinforce that mommy is the boss- Start by giving her just 2 options. Say something like, "You may sit on your booster seat on the floor, or you may sit on your booster seat at the table." Then- establish that dinner time is family time and the family all eats the same thing. Say something like, "We are having chicken for dinner. If you finish your chicken, you may have a yogurt afterwards for a treat/dessert." Hope this helps! Good luck! :)

J.,
There is a book called "COPING WITH A PICKY EATER" by William G. Wilkoff, M.D.. I highly recommend this book! It's all about avoiding mealtime struggles and teaching the parents how to be the ones in control at mealtimes. My kids are now 7 and 5 and they are both good little eaters...I truly give the credit to this book. Now, if I were to offer them cookies or carrots, obviously, they would still take the cookies everytime! But, they do eat the veggies on their plates and meals are not a struggle. The book is only $11 and it's worth its weight in gold for the sanity it will bring you!! HTH!
~S. in Rhode Island

Hi J.,

I would say "pick your battles". So, I would give her 2 choices of where she wants to sit, either on the booster seat on the floor or on the chair. sooner or later she'll want to come up on the chair as she can't see much from the floor..LOL. As far as eating, I think we've all had our issues. I have been very creative with chicken (since they just wanted the nuggets, my boys are 6 & 4 1/2). If you want the recipe for the chicken email me privately at ____@____.com)they think they're eating chicken strips from the bag! I also mince up veggies (anything I have in the fridge) and put it in spagetti sauce, they never know the difference. I cut up cucumbers, red pepers & carrots and let them pick their dressing (2 options). They dip, it doesn't matter how the veggie gets there, it's the end result that matters.

J., I am from the old school in raising children, after my three grew up i am now babysitting my grandchildren. They are 4 and 2 and very active. The 4 year old loves to immitate her 2 yr old brother. I found a table and chairs for them to play on but find at lunch they do ok eating at the small table and there are no fights.. If we have had a morning of t.v.; it gets shut off and we sit at the dining room table and eat just as much. My feeling is....if they eat and there is no problem......use the floor (pretend its a picnic) or use the small table and enjoy her eat. I am learning that we must pick and choose our battles . Good luck

2s are fun aren't they? I'd give her 2 choices about where to sit...no more. I don't give choices for meals because it isn't a restaurant. My children eat what we eat...I don't require them to finish it but trying it is certainly appreciated. Allowing her to experience different foods now will make her diet more balanced in the future (picture a teenager that has eaten only nuggets). I put vegetables on the plate but I find fruit goes a lot faster so I serve that with lunch and bkfst. Don't give up - it takes a longer time to develop a good habit!

Cook only one meal (make sure there is one part your child likes) and include meat, vegetable and grain. Having a few choices is essential. If we're having salad and I haven't cooked a vegetable, I cut up cucumbers, carrots, red peppers and put them on a plate. She has to choose which vegetable she wants. Having hummus or a ranch dip really works wonders with vegetables...it's the dipping action that's so fun. Give her a job to do as well, like putting the napkins on the table. To get my 3 year old to the table I do the count to 3 thing, and it really works. In this situation I would say: "You have two choices, you can get in your booster all by yourself, or I'm going to pick you up and put you in it. I'm going to count to 3 and then I'm going to do it." My girl likes to do everything herself, so this method is great. At dinner we do things like play the "counting game" (how many bites of meat are you going to eat - she'll say a number that we all agree on) or we also play a "make a deal game" now. She starts the game by saying "if you want to see me eat a bite of rice, you eat a bite of your salad" but this game might still be a bit advanced for your 2 year old. My daughter is always asking for something, isn't yours? If she wants her dad to make that funny face for example, he'll tell her he'll do it right after she takes another bite of her food. My daughter really just wants the attention on her at the dinner table. We work very hard to get her to eat a good balanced meal before she is allowed to get out of her seat. If she complains later about being hungry, we tell her that dinner time is over and she'll have to wait until morning to eat breakfast.
Good luck.

Give her minor choices, "You can sit at this side of the table or that side"...she's still where you want her, but she has a choice. If you want her at the table you can't give her the choice to sit on the floor, it will only get worse.

As for the food. Give her some things she likes on her plate as well as what she's picky about. Don't give her a choice for dinner, unless you aren't sure what to have. It takes 30 days to build a habit...put food on her plate for 30 days she will try it eventually. Remember...she's not going to starve herself. If you let her eat chicken nuggets and yogurt for dinner all the time that is all she'll eat and you'll have a bigger issue later. It's not easy...you have to be consistent. Good luck!

Yes, we have gone through this- and are going through it again right now. My pedi. gave us a piece of mind when he said you are doing alright if the child eats one food from the food groups a day. I thought, I should be able to manage that! Of course, some days even that was/is hard. Our pedi also said sitting still is not going to be on the agenda at this age so don't sweat that either unless that is important to you right now. I would pick a place for dinner and stick with it but let her come and go as she wants.

Happy eating!

I would say that as long as she is eating, you are lucky. I used to be concerned about my son and his eating habits until I talked to several moms who had children who just wouldn't eat at all! So, I consider myself lucky and just make sure to give lots of healthy options. Something I tried that JJ loves is butternut squash with lots of butter, cinnamin and brown sugar. He thinks it's dessert. I also started putting peas into his mac and cheese and he hasn't flinched. How about cooking some baby carrots and letting her dip them into "sauce" (even ketchup, as gross as it sounds to us!)

As far as the sitting at the table thing, we found a great device that actually lifts the diningroom chair up from the floor so that she is in a "big girl seat" and the spills are minimized and it's not as easy to get down. The device is called a KABOOST and we love it! We got it at BJ's in Franklin, MA.

Ohh J., I feel your pain!! my daughter is almost 3 and still crawls under the table in the middle of a meal! I constantly battle to keep her in her seat a the table with the family, but to no avail, she manages to drift into the living room, bathroom kitchen, etc.. and she always seems to have an excuse for me when I ask her why she left the table. We have been working hard on having her say "may I please be excused", but it turns into a quick, "scuzze me" and she's off! My son is 17 months old and thankfully still confined to a highchair (I dread when these days end). His eating habits though are very similar to your daughters, I feel like he is going to turn into either a nutragrain bar, cherio, or a yogert!! I have to step back sometimes and say, "well, they are still babies and they wont be this age forever, and they wont fade away, they will eat when they are hungry". The only trick that I have for the veggie refusal, I often cook up and offer cheese and spinich frozen ravioli the kids actually love them with and without sause. I feel good because even that little amount of spinich in there is sweet success in my book! good luck!! L. C.

I struggled to have family dinner every night and came up with this arraignment
1. you have to sit in your chair at the table
2. you have every food group on your plate (in appropriate amounts) but they don't have to eat it all
3. you may have as much ketchup as you want if it helps you eat your meat & veggies
4. I will not make separate food for you but I will serve it without spices or sauces

meal time should never be a battle. set some ground rules and follow them consistently
let your child help plan, prepare and serve the food and she may just enjoy it.

I want to suggest that you start to be more consistant as you may never go out to a restaurant again if you let her do as she likes.

If you can get her to start eating what you are eating you will also not fall into the 'my child will only eat mac n cheese/chicken nuggest/pizza' she will get use to what you give her and if you only give her 'what she wants' (wouldn't we all like ice cream for dinner?) she will not learn to try new and even normal foods.

My husband works long hours and my son and I have always had a weekly date of going out to eat to restaurants (as in real ones..not McD's) he would try all the soups as a baby and mostly shares my food..which I do tent to get him cream sauces as he loves his cheeses on it. He will eat salad, has tried and liked most Japanese, Chinese, Middle Eastern and even Indian food.

Life should not just be Mac n' Cheese, breaded chicken and pizza (we do eat it but not every night) work at this so she can enjoy food and you can enjoy her eating it..make yours seem so yummy she has to try it.

Good Luck, if you only give into her..she wins and she is a baby.

J.,
We have a 19 month old and, although its not always peaches and cream at meals, we seem to have found a way to make things work. One turning point came when I started reading Ellyn Sater's "Child of Mine: Feeding with Good Sense and Love". She's a nutritionist and mother. She describes the different responsibilities you have as a parent and your child has in the feeding process. Basically, its your job to prepare a nutritious meal for your family and its your child's job to eat it (or not). If you give your child the impression that finishing the meal is important to you, its likely you are setting yourself up for a battle.
Even with that approach, my daughter still would rarely eat veggies or meat. Some friends of mine suggested "Deceptively Delicious", a cookbook filled with recipes hiding various veggies in them (like Mac & Cheese with carrot or cauliflower and pizza with spinach). She still doesn't always eat all of her meals, but she at least gets a lot of healthy choices. If she doesn't like anything I put in front of her, then she'll have to wait until the next meal to try again. I do tend to at least give her half a piece of whole wheat bread with butter if she doesn't like anything else, but that's as far as I'll go in accommodating her.
As far as behavior is concerned, I think you can have expectations (like you sit in your highchair or booster seat at meals), but they have to be age appropriate. Toddler need to experiment with their food, touch it, feel it, throw it, taste it, etc.
It might take some time, but if you're consistent (like with anything else), your daughter will learn the rules and what to expect and she'll accept them.

Hi J.,
As you can see your issue is not a unique one! Our daughter is 3 1/2 and has always had strong opinions about eating, both the what and the where. Our doc said to not make food an issue--unless we wanted it to become an issue. So I absolutely began to "hide" veggies in her food, and then when I saw she liked the dish (mac and cheese with butternut squash puree, for example), I told her what was in it and she was 100% okay with it. She now happily adds pumpkin, et.al to dishes we make. Having her help prepare a small part of the meal helped, as does making dinner fun. We read books and make up stories and always observe the Family Rule: you never have to eat anything you dislike, but you always have to take one bite. This may not work for all kids, but with ours, the day we stopped laying down the law about the what and the where of eating was the day she started eating anything we put in front of her. We were making mealtimes into a control issue and our daughter was obliging us. Our doc also told us that 15 mins was the outside we'd be able to get a 3 year old to sit still, so we remain cognizant of that limit and make sure dinner is 100% ready before we sit her down. Again, it may not work for your child, but relinquishing the need to control the what and the where actually ended up getting us the exact result we were looking for. Go figure. Good luck!
ps--our daughter will not eat meat no matter what we do, but she happily eats tofu and eggs and cheese and and yogurt and various meatless burgers/nuggets, etc and is flourishing. I wouldn't force your kid to choke down something that they absolutely can't deal with, but I'd make them observe the one-bite rule every time it might be made for everyone else.

Some fabulous suggestions. I would add that it would be fun to arrange for other times, not meal times, for her to live out the other fantasies about eating. Plan a tea party with babies on the little table in the kitchen. Good fun.

And watch the ketchup, most has lots of sugar in it. Check it out.

Hi J.-
My son (now 2.10) used to shy away from the meats, but loved fruits and vegetables. We have had many a meal with grapes, melons and blueberries and yogurt as the main course. When he went through his anti-veggie phase I gave him the orange veggies (sweet potatoes, yams, carrots etc.) and if he gave me trouble would mix them with apple sauce or mashed them with pear. I always offered small amounts of very well cut up meats and at times mixed them into the mashed potatoes etc. Keep offering a variety and encouraging her to eat it, eventually she will. My advice about seating arrangements would be this: It is not too late to structure the meal time to your liking. It will be a battle in the short term, but easier in the long run. We have always been consistent with that and there are consequences for not sitting in his booster seat (at a restaurant)...he sits in a high chair he throws a fit but then we play a game and he's usually fine.
-mom of a willful, but very healthy toddler and infant with food allergies.

I wish I had some advice, but I only can offer compassion. I, too am a mom to a 21 month old little girl who has her own mind when it comes to food. She rarely eats what is served, no matter what it is, and goes through stages of eating one thing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a week or so at a time. I have learned to accept this independence, as much as it is frustrating at times. She doesn't eat fruits, veggies, or meats. It is mashed potatoes, grilled cheese, mac & cheese, and right now Life Cereal. If you get any suggestions that you find helpful, could you send them my way? Good luck!

I also have a 2 y/o daughter. Please know that if you don't nip this in the bud dinner will always be a battle. It will be aweful for a week or less, but don't give in. When she sees that you won't bend the battle will be over. She is the child, and trying to see how much she can control you. She will love you for the structure. Don't argue, bargin or loose you temper. Just say this is the way it is in a matter of fact way.

We went through the same thing with my son. For awhile, all he would eat was chicken nuggets and hot dogs as his form of meat. I finally put my foot down and started making him eat what we eat. I know most are saying to pick your battles, and I agree with them. This, however, was the battle I chose. It was important to me not to have a child that would only eat "kid food." Luckily, he likes fruits and veggies, so the only issue was with meat and starches. To get him to eat the meats and starches, I hold off on his drink. He can have a drink each time he eats 1-3 bites of whatever it is I am trying to get him to eat. It works really well for us.

Also, when it comes to where to eat...I agree with giving your little one a choice of chairs at the table. That should help a little.

Good luck - Rome wasn't built in a day and your picky eater won't change in a day. Be patient and keep up whatever method you choose. You can do this!

Hi J.,
Hang in there. It gets better. I have a very picky 4 year old who had a very limited food selection and food intake. Here are some tricks that worked for me.

1. Cook with your daughter. My son was willing to eat more and different things when he made them. He was very proud when we all loved his cooking too.
2. Make it fun and interesting. Hot dogs on a straw are fun. I would stick the hot dog through the straw and then he'd eat the "hot dog snakes" that came out of the straw.
3. Fruit on a stick. We got one of those edible fruit baskets and I kept all the sticks. He loves strawberries and apples on a stick.
4. Mini muffins - I use spice cake muffin mix and add half a can of pumpkin. Make them in a mini muffin pan. They taste great and kids love the size.
5. Baby food - I still give my son baby food veggies because he'll eat them. Puried is easier to eat (he's got a gag reflex). I give him the baby food fruits too. I give him a spoon and he takes care of the rest.
6. Be flexible about the meal choice. He's had grilled cheese for breakfast and waffles/pancakes/scrambled eggs for dinner.
7. Sometimes I'll read a story at the dinner table and he knows he needs to take a bite if he wants to get to the next page. Although I don't really like toys/books at the table, why should it be a fight and bad experience for all.
8. Ask your daughter to create a sandwich. My son decided that he wanted a peanutbutter and pickle sandwich. I put on the peanutbutter, he put on the pickles. He loves it and I love the whole wheat bread and peanutbutter. He also eats toast with melted cheese and pickles.
9. He loves the easy cheese (cheese wiz in a can) and I put that on carrots and celery.
10. We've used cookie cutters for sandwiches, toast, pancakes.
11. You can hide nutricious foods in foods that she may already like. I put wheat germ in the pumpkin spice muffins. I put whole wheat pancake mix in the regular mix.
Feel free to email me if I can be of help. Don't feel bad about the yorgurt. My kids eat yogurt with mixed in baby fruit every day. As to the ketchup, my other son feels that it should be a main course instead of a condiment. I use the ketchup to get them to try lots of different food.
Good luck!

My pediatrician once told me, "it is okay if all she eats one day are blueberries" and i loved her for saying it!