Dinner Time Help to Get Through Meal Time

The others gave great advice. Toddlers in general do not have the attention span to sit through a long meal. If he really wants out of his high chair, I'd let him down. BUT, don't give in and let him nurse if you don't want that to become a habit. Make it clear (tell him before he gets out of his chair) that he needs to play by himself and he can't sit in your laps or nurse.

My son is really into cars and would be happy to drive them around on his tray if he was forced to sit in his high chair longer than he wanted. Are there any toys that your son really loves that would keep him occupied?

K.
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P.,

Okay here's something out family therapist told me and my son's Dad...kids regardless of the meal, place or event have an attention span of about 20-30 minutes once they reach age three! Yikes. So, if you think about it most toddlers are focused on their task and what needs to be done and when that is done, well then they are done.

It's totally normal. Toddlers of this age don't have the ability to sit still like we do and eat a meal and chat unitl everyone is done. It's okay and I do not make it a big deal. Mealtime battles can give kids issues with food and create poor eating habits later in life. Don't force him to sit with you while you're eating, but start teaching him that dinnertime is dinnertime and even IF he's done others are eating.

What I do with my son is I set an egg timer for 20 minutes and that is as long as he has to sit with us. Even if he's not hungry and doesn't eat, I just let it go and make sure he gets snack later if he's hungry before bedtime. I tell him we like to have his company and then he can pick from books or puzzles or educational stuff...no TV or stuff like that until we're all done eating. I don't make eating a big deal, but I do stress how much we love hearing about his day and how great it is to spend time together. Even though he's a bit older, I think I started this with him around that time.

As for the nursing, I think you need to start by making it firmly known that it's just not an option. Cover'em up and make it a point to explain to him that this is not the time. My friend had that issue when we'd go out to eat and it took a few days, but she was able to communicate to her little one that there were moments that she could not nurse and it was okay.

Just remember that he's learning. He's not going to automatically know how to do something or to not do something. Talk to him about what is happening and why...my son from experience learns things faster from my repeating the explaination and overtime understanding the how and why.

Good luck!!

I would, let him down.
He is only 19 months old. At this age, "expectations" has to be age-appropriate...otherwise it will be frustrating for both parent and child.

A child this age, cannot just "sit" even if toys are placed in front of them. Ever have to go to the Opera with your Parents as a child? Well, imagine that BORED out of your mind feeling... and wanting to leave... but your parents saying you have to sit & stay, not squirm and act like a well behaved "adult." Well, depending on the age of the child, it AIN'T going to happen.
There is a time, and a place, and an age... at which certain things are not attainable yet. Per their development. Sitting "nicely" at a dinner table, at home or at restaurants, especially at this age through about 4 years old... is hard. Some kids may be able to do it... but not for 1-2 hours straight. Nor for 1/2 hour straight...which for a child is the same thing as 1-2 "hours."

Him climbing on your lap... well, kids do this. Both of mine did that too. Sure, it can be annoying sometimes... but well. The thing we did was take turns eating, or I just STILL ate my meal with them on my lap... explaining "sit on this side, Mommy needs to eat..."

Or, instead of a High-chair.. why not just give him his own "big boy" chair"? I, never really used high-chairs... my kids just sat at the table with us, in a regular chair. Or, they had their own "kid sized" table, to sit at.

In time, as he gets older, it will get easier. Sure, kids need to learn "rules" and what not..... but still, if developmentally a kid cannot attain something, then forcing it won't make it any easier.

As Deanna Leigh said: kids this age DO NOT have "fully developed" attention spans... BUT, nor do they even have fully developed "impulse-control" or emotions, or fully developed full spectrum logic based reasoning yet.

My son just made 3 years old... he is a great kid and eats at the table nicely on a regular dining chair. BUT... being a kid, he still likes to come by me, or on me, to "eat." He just likes to be near me. If I were a marsupial... then he'd probably sit in my pouch everywhere I went. LOL. I asked him "why" he likes to sit on Mommy... and he says its because he loves me, and that I am so "cozy." Aw shucks...

But yes, you also need to introduce "rules" about nursing... my kids both self-weaned. But for my daughter she was about 2.5 years old when she self-weaned... anyway, long story short is I "taught" her RULES about nursing... ie: no pulling/tugging at me NOR in public, asking politely, no demanding, not in public etc. And she understood and had more "manners" about it.

Well, all the best,
Susan

my son is also 19 months.. He has multiple food allergies so my husband and I also struggle eating with him. I have noticed recently my son wants our attention if we are not paying attention to him. We used to take turns feeding him while eating, now we are slowly transitioning him to feeding himself.. which takes a while. so we have been able to time it right so that while he is eating we eat our food very quickly. (noodles take much longer to eat and are fun for him to play with) I try not to force my child to stay in the high chair too long against his will because i don't want him to hate sitting there. So I do try to give him a choice. "if your finished you can go play by yourself"
I have also tried giving him paper and crayons or pens to draw with while we scarf our food. sometimes that works, but he usually requires one of us to supervise. I don't think I helped too much. But hang in there and be strong.