Dinner Time Blues

Updated on September 22, 2014
❤.M. asks from Santa Monica, CA
22 answers

I am so tired of trying to make different things for dinner.
My husb is so picky. He won't eat anything new. Just pork & beef.
So all I make over & over are tacos, pulled pork & spaghetti.
My SD is, also, very picky.
It has gotten worse over the years.
The only time he will try something new is if his BF introduces him to it. I'm not a fan of what they cook but I eat it, don't
complain.
The older he gets the worse he compains. What to do?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

When my husband or kids don't like what I have made for dinner they are free to make themselves something else. A sandwich, whatever leftovers there are in the fridge, scrambled eggs, a bowl of cereal, whatever.
Seriously, it's not worth trying to please people who won't be pleased!
So go ahead and make their favorites a few times a week, but also make things YOU enjoy. Cooking is a creative outlet (at least it is for me) and there's no way I'd let super picky family members dictate the fruits of MY labor.

12 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My hubby was the same way and I also began feeling like you. So, a couple of years ago I just started making what I wanted for dinner. He could eat it or not, his choice. I did my part by putting food on the table. So, he started trying things and discovered that he really did like a lot more than he thought he would. I say make something for YOU and they can eat or starve. Their choice.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a magnet on my fridge. It says "Dinner choices tonight: take it, or leave it."
Kind of sums up my philosophy.
Look, there's nothing wrong with a wife and mother trying to make good (and INTERESTING) meals that her family will enjoy.
But if your husband will literally only eat three things?
Well, cook enough of that to last for the week and let him eat reheated leftovers on the nights when you want to make something different or new.
Just because you are a mom doesn't mean that you should be chained to your husband's (and child's) limited imagination and palette.
Also, beef and pork are super versatile, you can make soooo many things, stews, soups, stir fries, casseroles, wraps, pasta dishes, meatballs/loaf, pot roast, chops, toasted sandwiches, the list goes on and on.
If your family isn't into it just enjoy it yourself and let them eat the boring leftovers week after week, day after day. They are the ones missing out.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

I don't play well with picky eaters.

Kids: Either eat what I put in front of you or don't, but you don't say "I don't like" or "I don't want" or yuck someone's yum. You do and you'll be told goodbye from the table and have to finish your meal first before you can eat anything other than the next meal at meal time.

Adults: Either eat what I make or fend for yourself. I'm not changing my eating/cooking habits for you and I'm not falling all over myself to please you either. Don't like it-fine. Keep your complaints to yourself and do your own shopping/cooking.

It's pretty simple really. Don't want to continue to fight with picky eaters? Stop engaging.

Good luck!

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I would just start cooking what I want (which is what I do) and if they don't like it they can make their own dinner, it is that simple. Shut up and eat what is prepared for you or go hungry. I had to force it at first to get my kids to start trying new foods, but now they have no issues with it. The rule in our home is that you try at least one decent sized bite of something before discounting it.

Part of the problem could be that you have been cooking what they will eat, which will never force them to step outside their comfort zones.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Cook what you want to cook. If DH is unhappy, he can start cooking. Wouldn't hurt him any. Sounds like a very unhealthy way to eat. You can also make tacos with whole grain shells and fill them with veggies and/or fish. Fish tacos (grilled) are wonderful.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Your SD? Stepdaughter? I"m confused, who is complaining?

If a kid complained to me about what he/she was eating, I would let him/her go hungry. It's not your job to cater to their fussy whims. Same with husband. I'm no cook, but there's no way I would make pork and beef every night because hubby had to have it that way. I would let hubby starve, as well.

Maybe hubby can start to cook his own meals. And SD, whoever that is, can either eat whatever is put in front of him/her, starve, or get a healthy snack out of the fridge. It sounds like SD has learned some bad behaviors from hubby, and is continuing to get away with them.

IMO you are not a short-order cook.

4 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Stop cooking for people who don't like it. You cannot win this battle. It's a power struggle and you are losing. Put them in charge of their own meals - that means planning, shopping, prepping, cooking. You can be in charge of washing the dishes - just shift the work around.

Meantime, make yourself a terrific salad with whatever you enjoy, or cook what you want once a week and they can eat PB&J. Find other things you enjoy doing together since meals are not going to work for you.

If they get bored, they can go to dinner with the best friend and get introduced to new things.

4 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

What happens if you prepare chicken?

I grew up with the rule, that if you do not like what is served, you are allowed to heat up a can of soup or a bowl of non sugar cereal.

But no ugly comments, no ugly faces and no complaining about what food has been served.

Will they eat left overs? If they will only eat 3 things. I would make a ton of it and serve it to them every night. You make things you like or want to eat for yourself, maybe at some point they WILL want to try something new or different. I would not try to force them to change, let them live with their choices.

FYI, one of my stepmothers has a brother, who is now in his 60's and he will only eat hamburgers or cereal. This is not an exaggeration. So he makes them for every meal. It is really pretty creepy. Their children thank goodness grew out of this. They are now adults and realize their father has issues.

I do not understand who each of these people are. You have husb=a husband, SD= step daughter and a BF= boyfriend?

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Um, I chose really early on NOT to make dinner a struggle or a battleground.
If no O. else likes what YOU make? There's the cereal.
You cannot control what they like or don't.
You can only control what you prepare and how you react to the turned up noses. Keep cereal and cold cuts on hand.

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

There a lots of other things you can make with beef and pork other than tacos, pulled pork and spaghetti.

Pork chops, pork roast, pork tenderloin, pork souvlaki, pork steak, stuffed peppers, cabbage roll, sausage, ham, kebabs, soup...

Roast beef, steak, hamburgers, hamburger/macaroni, meat loaf, meat balls, beef stroganoff, beef stew, stuffed peppers, cabbage rolls, lasagna, soup, beef pie, shepherds pie...

I would stop catering to these people. Make what they like a few times a week, but cook other things as well, things that you like. They can eat it, cook for themselves or eat leftovers.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

My husband and kids like to eat different things than me. I tend to cook extras for myself, then give them what they want and eat my own leftovers. My husband does a nice job of cooking for himself and the kids, but he and I just don't seem to like the same things. What can you do?

Personally, I like to eat what I like to eat. I want everyone else to be happy, too. My solution is have leftovers on hand ... that or yogurt or pbj or something easy to fix. We eat leftovers quite often. We also eat sandwiches some nights. We just choose not to stress too much about food, as long as we eat reasonably healthy :-)

2 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I cook one meal, unless I know I am making something my husband doesn't eat, then I'll leave a portion of hte meat out for him to do as he pleases with, but I don't cook a seperate meal for him.

My kids are required to try everything we make, but if they don't like it they are free to make a sandwich. I don't force anyone to eat anything, but I also don't make 5 meals for each dinner. I make one, take it or leave it.

If my husband complains, he can do it himself. I am not his mother and shame on her if she catered to him (which I am 99.9% sure she didn't). He grew up in the deep south and I did not, I grew up mostly in the north east, it's unreal how different the food tastes are.

2 moms found this helpful

R.X.

answers from Houston on

I am okay with them being picky, but the fact that the BF can introduce new stuff and you cannot is a problem...

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I don't feel like you've gotten a lot of helpful answers. I have a few suggestions for you.

1) Try to get everyone in on meal planning. Sounds like a pain, but maybe task each of them to come up with one new meal to try that week. For hubby, it could be something pork or beef, but not tacos, pulled pork or spaghetti. Help him get outside of his comfort zone. Maybe find three recipes that are pork or beef and have him choose one. If he won't then choose one for him, and let him see what you are trying to do.

2) Don't make dinner a battle at dinner. These conversations have to happen at another time. Explain to husband your dilemma and ask him for a solution or suggestion. Don't talk at him, have him listen to your concerns and then really listen to what he has to say too. My husband hated pork when we were married. Turns out that his mom cooked it to death and it was always tough & dry. I cook it properly and he now loves pork.

3) Absolutely have a zero tolerance policy for complaints AT the dinner table. I would literally stand up and take my plate to another room and eat alone if anyone complained about my dinner. Of course, after dinner constructive comments are always welcome. While I am generally my own worse critic, sometimes they simply just don't like something. Even helpful suggestions on how to change a dish to appeal to everyone are good.

4) Pick something you want and make it. Especially if you hit a wall when trying to solicit help. If they don't want to try it or eat it then they can fend for themselves. It sounds as if the members of your family are old enough to handle that.

5) Make dinner more of a buffet style. Sauces on the side, veggies separate, pasta separate. Kind of like a salad or taco bar. They can pick or choose certain toppings or sauces. For example, broiled pork chops, sauce & condiments on the side, fresh veggies, baked potatoes with options too. That might help you see what they do and don't like. Or it may help them try new things?

Bottom line is that if you are the one cooking, then you are in control. You can continue to be a slave to their finickiness and complaints, or you can take action. But they will not change until they are forced to. Good luck! Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

My friend married a very picky guy...but her hobby in life is cooking. She LOVES cooking fancy foods, international foods, and all kinds of different foods. I have known them for 22 years now. She cooks what she wants...she loves to have people over to entertain. In all these she did not cook the foods her husband wants. I'm sure some nights she did. What did he eat? Maybe he would pick at it and make himself a sandwich later? I don't know. He used to think salsa and olives were too weird when I first met him! Now he eats everything...and I mean everything. Tell your husband from now on you are going to cook the foods you like and he needs to just try it. If he wants to pick a night or two to cook dinner, he can do that.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.P.

answers from Scranton on

I would make husbands meals in batches and freeze them. Seal-a-meal is great. Let him heat them up. He needs to begin to have some skin in the game. Make yourself fresh meals. Your stepdaughter can eat what you eat, what your husband eats, or make herself a PBJ or heat up frozen pizza. Do not let this go on. By not being involved, being picky, and only trying something new his BF suggests, he is being unappreciative and manipulative, and your SD is learning from him. You have bigger and better fish to fry with your life than agonizing over this. (Though I feel your pain. My SS is picky, and it is annoying.)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

*.*.

answers from New London on

I am more of a vegetarian and my husband won't eat my dishes. So, I tell everybody here that Wednesdays ---is---vegetarian night, so, if u all don't like rice and beans...then, pick up a rot chicken !

I make wild salmon one night a week...with organic potatoes and organic greens in a salad.

So, two nights a week, I make healthy dishes---and they r what I like.

Pick a few nights for yourself and your favorite dishes. They can have leftovers....

1 mom found this helpful

E.A.

answers from Erie on

You have lovingly cooked a meal for him and he COMPLAINS?!

Even my kids' AND their friends were trained from a very early age that insulting the cook is bad manners and won't be tolerated in our home. Over the years, I was simply amazed at how many kids sat down to eat with us and had never been taught that. Eat it, don't eat it, I don't care but you do NOT insult the person who just cooked a meal for you.

It must really hurt your feelings to know that he doesn't appreciate your efforts. On top of it, he's more food-adventurous with his best friend, all the while picking apart your cooking and encouraging his daughter to do the same? I'm so sorry, you do not deserve that.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Pork chops and/or other pork meals.
Shepard s pie and other beef meals.
Sometimes have the complainers cook what every they want for dinner.
If they complain they need to take control of it and resolve their issues.
Sometimes make reservations for dinner and don't cook at all.
Sometimes make something YOU like and they can go hungry if they really want to.

1 mom found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

Just cook what they will eat. You are just frustrating yourself. If you don't want to eat the same stuff all the time then make what you want and if they don't want to give it a go then they can make something for themselves. Either way you are only cooking 1 meal.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My husband eats bread, pasta, rice, and meat. Not much else.

My granddaughter eats mac and cheese, PB&J, and not much else.

My grandson eats vegetables, meat, pasta, and more. His favorite food is broccoli raw. I have the hardest time cooking dinner too. We tend to graze now. If I don't cook they'll go in and fix themselves something.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions