My daughter just turned 4, she's not particulary a picky eater...she's always loved fruits and vegetables, however, she won't sit still at dinner time and eat. I find it easier to feed her myself and she'll eat just fine.
I'm just wondering if she's too old for me to be feeding her? and if so, what I can do to get her to sit still and eat?
I've tried telling her that if she is good during dinner and eats she'll have time to play outside with not much luck.
Also, I feel she may have add/ adhd possibly.
She usually does play outside before dinner for at least 30 mins so it may be that she's a bit tired. She can feed herself and we all sit together for dinner and she asks to be excused when she's finished. Previousely she's needed timeouts for being too squimy and chewing with her mouth open, she now is more polite.
I'm going to still have her play outside before dinner but also let her relax in-between play and dinner for a bit. I fed her because I want her eating healthy not asking for junk later the past few nights but I'm going to let her do it herself like before and if she's hungry later she can finish her dinner... Period! I will expect a timeout or two but in a couple days I'll be happier.... Thank you I think I knew what had to be done just needed to be told lol
Start good habits early and set an example. I try to eat with my 3 year old as much as possible or at least sit with her. She always sees my husband and I eat at the table. Dinner is a social family time and she does not get her food until she comes to the table.
All my kids sit and eat. In fact I can get any kid to, but I have been told I am a hard a$$. What I do is as soon as they get down, I tell them they have to wait for everyone to be done or goto bed right now. (we also have the eating time not extend past 7 minutes after the child is done for the 1st month to 6 weeks and then slowly extend the time) Do it a few times and they always sit.
Also i don't understand why people think any skill comes naturally. Some babies don't even know how to suck a bottle when born and have to be taught that! So expect setbacks and for her to resist. She is a child and wants to just float through life on a whim, but you as a parent need to train her to be able to leave the nest someday and not have to rely on you. It is a hard lesson... for mom more than child...
Yes, I think she's too old for your to be feeding her. I would set some clear expectations. She needs to stay at the table to eat, or she can not eat dinner, have no snacks and eat a big breakfast... Give her the choice. She won't starve, and will likely learn that it's best to eat if hungry. I learned this with my kids - little by little they went from great dinner time kids to awful. My son who is 3 would just walk away. I explained that if he wasn't hungry he could clear his plate and leave. Then he didn't get any more food until am. Some days I guess he really wasn't hungry because he never asked for a snack... Just decide on a consequence and stick to it. It won't take long. Good luck : )
Being able to sit still at dinner time and eat is a learned skill. It takes patience on the parent's part while the child learns this. At first she will be wiggly and unfocused but if you allow her to be this way while encouraging her to sit still and eat she will eventually learn.
I recommend that you stop feeding her. Sit her in a chair that is high enough for her to comfortably be seated and still reach the table. Place the food in front of her. Give her a spoon and encourage her to take a bite with you guiding her hand if you haven't gone thru the process so far.
Accept that she will be wiggly and allow a certain amount of it. When she loses focus give her the spoon and guide her in eating.
Allow for 30 minutes to do this. As she learns the time will shorten. Be patient and consistent.
This is the process that most parent's and kids go thru starting at 2 or so. Perhaps you found it easier to feed her then to wait for her to learn.
I also agree that if she doesn't want to eat, then she doesn't have to but she doesn't get anything to eat until the next meal or snack time. She will not starve. She will eat when she's hungry. And she will feed herself if you don't feed her.
Do you give her lots of finger foods that she can pick up for herself? That may also help. Do not expect good manners until she's learned how to feed herself.
No offense, but are you serious. Yes she is too old for you to feed her. My kids are 5 & 6 and when they mess around one too many times at mealtime, they leave the table and no food until the next meal. I will do it until . . . until they sit at the table and behave with good manners!
Recent studies have shown that 20 minutes of hard running around/playing/exercise does kids about as much good as Ritalin. I would encourage her to dance or play hard before dinner. Then put her food at the table with the rest of the family. Don't make a big deal about it. She really is too old to be hand fed, when everyone else at the table is finished pick up her plate too. If she tells you she is hungry later, remind her that dinner is the time for eating. Later give her a healthy snack. A few days of this routine and you will see changes in her behaviors.
I firmly believe that parents cannot win on food fights! My mom used to say, when they are hungry they will eat. Over preoccupation with food issues can lead to worse stuff later - binge eating, purging, obsessive calorie counting etc.....
Good Luck! L
My son is 5 and if he is really tired his dinnertime behavior can be terrible. Unfortunately if we want to all eat as a family I can't make dinner much earlier though he gets healthy snacks if he says he is hungry early. He mostly eats by himself but asks for help with some foods, mainly spaghetti and Ramen noodles (which he loves). His small motor control isn't very good for his age (he struggled to write letters at school) and sometimes does need the help to get the food on the fork. Other times he is just playing around or being lazy. If he is fooling around too much he does get consequences.
Something that works with my kids is to let them run around outside for 20 minutes before dinner, so they're a little pooped out. You could even get a tiny trampoline with a bar to hold on to with is a great way to "lube" your childs joints and relax them. This is a technique used by an occupational therapist I know.
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No, she is old enough to feed herself.
My son is 4.
He sits and eats.
He feeds himself.
Kids are antsy.
Tell her to sit.
It is just family rules.
She sits.
To 'try her best.'
Not having to be perfect, but TRY her best.
Maybe put on a timer, even for just 2 minutes. So she gets a sense of doing it and it having an 'end' to it. Full circle.
Kids have no concept of time of how 'slow' it passes. The timer may help.
She doesn't have to be there for 20 minutes.
Just even 2 minutes. But she is eating, while sitting or not?
Also, my daughter, will not eat when tired. Even if she is hungry.
Is your daughter maybe tired by dinner time? Too tired????
