Dinner Battle

Put her in a booster chair with straps so she can't get up. I know she'll throw a fit but eventually she'll cave and eat. Does she like what you're feeding her. Ask her what she wants and maybe she won't fight you so much. My kids are almost 3 and they still get strapped in. It's all they know so they don't fight me on it. Good luck.

We have the same problem and our daughter is rapidly approaching 6. :) So you aren't alone.

My DD is snack happy and, if given the chance, will snack her way through the day instead of eating meals. She gets breakfast and then 1 snack. Same thing with lunch. The after lunch snack is eaten before 1:30pm or she doesn't get one. We discovered that if she eats anything after 2pm, then she really fights us with dinner. If we make her wait, then she's more willing aka "hungry" for dinner.

I don't know if you subscribe to the Love and Logic philosophy of child-rearing, but they suggest that if your child doesn't eat their dinner, to take away all snacks, treats, and desserts, and make them wait till breakfast. Then when they complain that they are hungry, lovingly asking if they ate their dinner. When they answer "no" then, as sympathetically as possible, say something like, "Oh, that's too bad. I get really hungry when I don't eat my dinner too. You can have a big breakfast tomorrow." Then stick with it.

Kids are so unique. You may have to try different things before you find something that works. Good luck!

Sounds like she might not be too hungry at dinner time. I have a pretty good routine with meals, we eat every 3 hours and that seems to work well with every age. I also run a daycare and it has worked. We eat our last snack at 3, by 6 the kids are pretty hungry. What I do with my own children is have a strict rule on snacking after dinner. If they eat everything on their plate they can have a snack. I think she might be waking up in the night because she knows she can get something. I know how hard it is to say no when your child says they are hungry, but she learn night time is for sleeping. Maybe send her to bed with a sippy of water? That kind of depends on how potty training is going, and is your call. Good luck!

The rule at our house, is that you don't leave the table until you've eaten what we expect. We don't make our kids overeat, but a few bites are mandatory if the effort to make the dinner has been made.

We've started taking things away from our 3.5 year old (favorite toys, TV shows, etc) for not eating his dinner.

We've also started covering the plate of uneaten food and making that the before dinner snack.

I'm not a stickler on bedtimes, etc. But, that's one that isn't negotiable to me personally.

Good luck. Unfortunately, 3 has been much more challenging than 2.

My 3 year old seems to eat more and is better behaved when I involve her in making/setting up for dinner. I know two is still young, but maybe she can help a little in any way and get her involved. It's good that you all eat together, maybe having her help a little might encourage her.

My only other suggestion is to offer her ONE alternative, and make it healthy. We used to offer my daughter bananas if she didn't like our food. Often she'd eat her banana, then ask for what we were eating...

My 3 year old will snack a lot. She'll eat dinner, get down from the table and ask for a snack. We had to look at what she was eating and determined it was too much carbs. Once we put her on veggies and hearty snacks, she started eating better meals. She wasn't waiting for the carb loaded crackers afterwards.

Our kids have to ask to be excused before they can get down from the table. My 2 year old will stand up and try to get down. If we're not ready for them to get down and they insist, they go in time out and come back to the table when time out is over. It helps us to strap the two year old in his seat (he uses a booster). We have been consistent with this requirement, and I think it has helped a lot.

One more thought - at dinner, everyone gets to say what their favorite and least favorite part of the day was. It makes good conversation and I think my kids eat without thinking about it.

Sit down or get down. I tell my 2.5 year old that (and anywhere we go) and if she stands up, I give her 1-2 chances then I put her down. Usually she is upset that she doesn't get to sit with us so she will sit down.

That being said, I think we are pretty laid back in regards to meal times but our daughter is a fairly good eater. She didn't used to be - not sure if she just changed as she's gotten older? She also snacks a lot so it's really what you think is important....If my daughter does not eat well at dinner, I don't worry about it because I know she ate well during the day and at snack time. However, if it's affecting her waking up at night, that is something you may want to curtail.

I am a believer that kids will not starve themselves. I would not give in to her in the middle of the night, but instead tell her that is why it's important to eat dinner so she's not hungry. You may wnat to think about cutting out snacks...or make snacks resemble meals more.

Could you allow her to eat elsewhere (a smaller table or picnic on the floor)? Maybe she's not hungry when you are and needs to eat. Could you feed her earlier or later than you guys?

What about a reward system where she can get X if she eats X number of bites? I would not expect her to sit as long as you guys - maybe 10-15 minutes then let her down?!

Aren't 2 year-olds grand? My son is 2 and our dinner time sounds a lot like yours, with standing up and refusing to eat.
We sit down to dinner as a family and we all eat the same food. We have been doing this since our son could eat solids. That's important to our family so we are trying to teach our kiddo how to behave at dinnertime. I know that if my son has a snack within about 90 minutes of dinner, he won't eat. Is your daughter just not hungry at your dinner time? Is she snacking before dinner? Could you try eating a bit later and see if that helped? You might also try getting rid of the pre-bed snack, or if you feel like she really needs to eat then, just offer her more of what you served her at dinner. I've found that I care more about what my son eats than I do about when he eats it, so I offer parts of meals as snacks a lot.
My son also eats better when he is involved in the preparation of the meal. I let him pour and stir whatever I can. He also loves to help with the meal planning, so I often let him make decisions like "peas or broccoli?" or "which shape of pasta should we make?" You could try that with your daughter.
One more thing I have noticed with my little guy. He has started insisting that his dad and I only speak to him while we are having dinner, ("no mom, talk to ME!") and I realized recently that sometimes we don't do a great job of including him in the dinnertime conversation. My husband and I try to catch up with each other and he gets bored and starts acting up and refusing to eat as a means of getting our attention.
I hope some of this helps! Good luck!

I am not strick when it come to dinner time...my husband wishes I was, this is one area we do not agree on but he lets me do my thing. 2 year olds can be picky eaters and I do not expect our daughter to like everything I make. If I do not like something I do not eat it and why should she. remmebr their likes can change one week ot the next. SO if she does not want o eat what we have I aske her if she would like toher things (yogurt, Cheese, Hotdog, Macnchese, etc.) Not to mention she eats really well during the day so if she is not hungry I do not make her eat. The good thing with toddlers is they will eat when they are hungry and with time and some effort they do typically eat during the meal times. A snack b4 bed may not be the best thing becasue If I am hungry and eat b4 bed I wake up more hungry than if I never ate. One thing to try to is if she does not want to eat dinnr save it and 1 hour be4 bed try giving it to her again. They shoudl be eating at least one good meal a day. If that is breakfast then you may expect much for lunch and dinner. Good luck

K.,

My best solution is to feed her her 'dinner' meal before 'dinner time' so there isn't a family battle at the table during actual dinner time. This helped with our firstborn. She didn't like to settle down. Dad always gets her all excited with playtime when coming home from work. He still does and she's 8! We found the best way was to feed her a large meal just before he got home, while I was cooking the REAL food and let her eat at her regular pace, then if she was good/well behaved she could hang out with us while we ate our dinner.

Hope that helps some!
V.

I wouldn't give her a snack if she's not eating her dinner. Maybe when she realizes the only way to get her evening snack is to eat her dinner, she'll decide to eat with you. My boys had booster seats & were strapped in til we let them get down from the table-does she sit in a regular seat or is she in a booster? I like the "sit down or get down" that was suggested-having to leave the table but not being able to play has also worked for our family. Our boys go to bed for the night if they refuse to eat.

How much time is there between dinner and bed? I would cut out that last snack. My son is 20 months, but he is strapped into his booster. If he says that he is "done", and hasn't eaten anything, he can be done. But he only gets the milk that he had with dinner, or any fruits and veggies that he wants. Otherwise, he waits till breakfast. Some nights he eats nothing (could be teething, or who knows) and some nights, he wants more, and more, and we keep bringing him more food if we are out of "dinner").

I wouldn't worry so much about the not eating, but I would require her to sit until you are ready to let her leave the table, and I would cut out that snack - she knows that she gets that, so why sit with everyone at the dinner table?