Dining Out W/20 Month Old Daughter...

Go to places that have a lot of noise and can distract her. Like Joes Crab Shack, Texas Roadhouse, Red lobster, etc. Not the top of the line places,but you can usually find something destent to eat for you and they all have good kids menues with healthy options and a lot of stuff for the kids to do. For the clingy thin. Try sitting in booths then she can be next to you yet not on you.

I think it is good that you take your child out to eat so that she will know how to appropriately act in social situations. Children will not learn how to behave while out to eat if they are never taken out to eat. I have an 18 mos. old daugther and we use a lot of the advice given to you by Tammi F. We have toys that she only gets if we are out to eat - books, travel doodle pro, small baby doll/bottle, small slinky, sticker books, flash cards, coloring books, etc...we mix it up. She thinks it is a treat to play with these toys because they always seem new to her. I agree that it is probably best to put her in the high chair when you get your meal. My daughter really likes to eat though so as soon as she sees the chair - she is ready to get in it and eat. So, we do order her food right away and let her start eating. That is what works best for her but I have noticed that it doesn't work well for some other children. If the food is taking exceptionally long to come out or if service is slow - my husband or I will take her outside and let her walk around if she is getting inpatient. This has backfired though because at times she has wanted to stay outside and play versus going back in to eat so use that tactic with caution...i.e. if nothing else works! And sometimes you may have to leave the restaurant. Even the best behaved kids have an off night ocassionally. And I don't believe in subjecting other people's nights out to my daughter's whining/tantrums. Luckily, that hasn't happened for us too many times. Definitely if she has had an off day or short nap or otherwise seems in a bad mood - reschedule for another night. Sometimes you just know that it isn't worth it to chance it. We also try to go to kid friendly places that tend to be a bit louder anyway so that we are less likely to bother other customers. My daughter is very outgoing and likes to flirt with people and say "hi" and blow kisses and most other customers at kid friendly places think this is cute and will interact with her. I do think that you need to be firm about her staying in her high chair though. Do not get her out and let her cling to you. Our daughter knows that staying in her high chair is not negotiable and if she wants to pitch a fit about it - then we will leave. It only took us a few times to teach her this and now she is very good about staying in her chair. Sometimes we have to work harder at entertaining her, depending on her mood, but she still stays in her high chair. Just know that if you are choosy about where/when you take her and provide her with plenty of entertainment options but also a healthy dose of discipline then she will be a joy to take out to eat when she is a little older. The toddler phase can just be a rough patch for things like this.

I feel for you! We had this with our now 3 yo son. My Mom & I go to Starbucks and Lunch all the time since im a stay at home mom, and her and my dad own their own company! He would sit just fine for me & my mom, but be very clingy when his Dad was with us! So finally we just made him sit in a high chair, and we ALWAYS ( still do this) let him bring TWO toys, like a Thomas or Bob the Builder toy like car size toys, and we make sure to get crayons, and hes only allowed 1 at a time! We get him involved in things he likes but wont bother other dinners! It took a few times but he got it finally! Made dinner so much easier. Now he is 3 and sits with his Dad in a booth! :) Just stay strong, she will not like in the begining but it will get easier.

When I order the food, I usually also ask for "to-go" boxes already and tell them to bring the bill. This way, I can pack things up if my kids (2 boys) start to misbehave. They last long enough for them to run the credit card, so all I have to do is sign and leave.

I do agree with having plenty of things to do and keeping them out of their seat until the food gets there. Usually, one parent walks them around and keeps them entertained while the other waits for the food. When the food gets there, the parent preps the kids food (cut, divide, etc.) then calls the other parent if they are away from the table, which is most of the time. We get to eat together and try to save the table entertainment (coloring book) for when they are done eating but my husband and I are not. I also try to save a surprise table entertainment thing as a reward for being good.

It happens to the best of moms K.. I have a four year old and he was just like your little girl. These are things that work for us: I would bring his favorite coloring book, (no toys because they throw them around and make more noice), or have one on one time with my boy and help him color. Most resturants provide the little menus you can color and that helped us to. What I figured out was that all he wanted was attention and if he behave well, I would reward him with play time at home or reading his favorite book. Carrabas would sometimes bring you doe and he would play with that for a while. My husband and I also go when is not peak hours our call ahead. The more a child waits the more anxious they get so be patient. I hope this helps..

Order her dinner first like when you order drinks. Ask the server to bring it out as quickly as possible and make sure you tip them well if they do. It's normally not a problem for them.

Keep in mind though that she's nearly 2 and they don't call it "terrible twos" because it's fun. But she does need to learn to behave in social situations. So treat it like a treat and be prepared to stay home or leave if she does not comply. My husband usually took them out to the car where they sat until they agreed to be good.

Also I hope some of the other posts didn't make you feel like a bad person for eating out a couple times a week. Unfortunately, some people can't just answer the question you asked. If you want to eat out, go for it. It's not like you said you eat twice a week at a fast food like most people do.

Good luck and remember, it really is something she will grow out of but you have to be consistant with your correction (I couldn't think of a better word) and be prepared to take it to go :)

Hi! I am the mother of two girls, and they were both a handful at that age when we would go out to eat. It never failed that they would make a scene. Until I began to carry a special activities bag with us. They were not allowed to use anything in this bag unless we were in a restaurant. They soon became well behaved and we were once again able to enjoy eating out.
I do the same now with my three year old grand-daughter. She often reminds her mother (my daughter) that Grandma has fun things for her to do while we are in the restaurant. I hope that this will be of help.
What was in the bag:
coloring book, crayons, colored pencils, magnetic paper dolls, color form play set, and books. I even included an old walkman with earphones to listen to books on tape. It really did make a big difference.

Hi K.,

My daugther is 25 months and has been eating out since she was 3 weeks old (okay, so she didn't EAT at that age, but I nursed her in restaurants!)... :)

I remove my daugther and end our outing at any time that she does not sit in her chair, eat her own food off her own plate and mind her manners. She knows that these outings are treats and that if she does not behave, she will not get to participate. Also, I bring her own cup, plate, utensils, etc. so that it's comforting for her to see things from home and I always carry small books, crayons, coloring books, etc. so that if she has to wait at all, we are occupied. Also, I've gotten in the habit of ordering for her first, as soon as we sit down and make sure she has food when she needs it (even if I have to bring my own), b/c I know that some of the people we go out with or even the servers, are not tuned in to how hard it is for a toddler to wait for their lunch, dinner, etc. at a certain time of day.

Honestly, though, I think she just needs to understand that the behavior that you don't want her to use will not be tolerated. I know it's also going to be hard on you and your husband, but it means one of you taking her to the car and explaining the situation, while the other one boxes up the food in to-go boxes to take home. I guarantee that it will work if you are consistent and do it every single time. You may also try taking her outside the first time, talking it out and seeing if she will change her ways if you bring her in again. If she doesn't, though, you have to be ready to leave. The more you give in, the more it will happen. And the fewer chances you give her, the quicker the message will get through. It's called, "Striking while the iron is cold" and read John Rosemond if you want any other great discipline tactics! :) He's the BEST!

Good luck!
K.

I think it's great that you are taking her with you and eating out now and then. I have friends who always get a sitter or never go to restaurants at all and their kids are HORRIBLE in restaurants when they do go once in a blue moon. For my 18 month old, we have figured out that it's best to keep him out of his high chair until the food comes whenever possible. He stays in the booth or on my lap and we keep him occupied, then he sits in the high chair once the food comes. Some waiters bring the child's food early or parents ask for crackers to keep the child busy, but I think that just hurts your chances of them eating nicely in the high chair once your food comes. Best to keep them a bit hungry so when the food comes they will sit longer because they are eating. I have toys and books I only take to restaurants so they are special. Little board books with flaps are the best invention ever-- he can open flaps for such a long time, and I can have a conversation with my husband!! I also bought a set of animal flash cards and we go through those together. Any small toy that doesn't make noise or have small pieces that can roll under the table is good. Discovery Toys has a couple of magnet sets that come in a handy metal carrying case-- you can add your own magnets and switch them out every now and then to keep the toy fresh.

My husband and I have a 3 year old and have pretty much depended on a portable DVD player to induldge in meals out since he was about 16 months old. First it was Baby Einstein, now it's Finding Nemo, whatever he's into at the moment.

Hi K.,

We ate out often when our girls were young but we were fortunate to have a local place that helped us, believe it or not. The menu was similar to Applebee's but everything was fresh, not microwaved. I say that because they really cared about their food, so of course they really cared about their customers. The wait staff and the owners came to love my girls and they talked to and entertained them and even took them in the kitchen to give us some time alone. (I could still see them from the table...)

We never had babysitters either. If you can't find a place that you just really love that you can become a "regular" then go earlier in the day when the crowd is not there and you can use the time as a teaching tool. She will learn soon and you can then get back into your regular routine.

Hope this helped....

Regards,

M.

apparently my opinion isn't wanted. do what you want.

the best solution is to get a sitter for her for 2 reasons.
1.this will solve the problem of not getting through a meal without one of her out bursts.
2. this will be your alone time with your husband so you can keep your relationship fresh.

It gets better! :) I have a 3 year old and an 11 month old... crayons, stickers, toys, books, any kind of activity that is intriguing or new to them should help with some distraction. We had many times when we had to have the waiter put our food as to go because it was just too much but I promise it gets better!

We are having the same issue with our dauhter whois 18 months. The 2 things we found that have worked are to sit in the outdoor seating of a restaurant, she loves being outside and this gives her more things to look at and to keep her entertained. Hops, Dexter's and I'm sure plenty more restaurants have outdoor seating areas that may work. Also, the best restaurant that we have found is Kobe, where they cook on the grill in front of you. She absolutely loves this and is entertained the whole time! We also invited 2 other couples with babies the same age the other night and found that they enjoyed it and behaved as well! There is one in Longwood and Altamonte. Also, they are opening a Fuji Sushi in Lake Mary next to the new TJ Max on Lake Mary Blvd.(and Rinehart) on march 1st. It is the same concept as Kobe. I think the fact that the chef cooks in front of you keeps them very entertained the whole time. The food is also very good and the kids chicken meal is great!! Good luck!! If there is a wait, they have a coy fish pond for the kids to look at the fish, it really is the perfect retaurant for kids!!

The biggest and best thing I can suggest is entertainment. Bring something for her to do before the food gets there. This will keep her occupied and hopefully quite. I have twin boys and I have taken them everywhere with me since they were about 2 months old (out to lunch with friends) and they were always really good, NOW since they have become more vocal (they are 2 1/2) it's a little harder to keep them occupied while out at resturants but they are usually pretty content with coloring books and crayons or books. Hope this helps and good luck the next time you go out!

Do you have a portable seat you can bring with you? My 23 month old will NOT stay in the restaurant high chairs (never mind that most of the time they are nasty or have broken clips). He WILL stay in "his" seat. He recognizes it as his and it lives in the trunk of my car so we can just fetchit as necessary. Another thing that helps is to have things that Cherub can play with while they wait. Also, ordering Cherub's food first while you read the menu is very helpful. I usually give an apologetic smile and ask if they'll put my kids' orders in first so they don't turn into little monsters. Works *every* time. ;-)

I unfortunately cannot help you, but I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone! I have a 15 month old daughter is wonderful, until OUR food arrives of course. Then she's all about being on mommy and whining to go run around. I'm pretty sure it's just this age - they want to explore and see what else is going on - plus I know it's boring for them to sit still in a highchair. It's very frustrating when you're trying to enjoy a nice dinner out, but let's just hope this phase passes! Hang in there! I've seen this placemat toy you can put in front of them on the table - might be something to check out. Good luck!

Don't worry sweetheart I was going though the same. My daughter is just the same as yours. Is she the only child?? Because if she is you have to remember that she is used to be in the house just you and her. She is not used to many people around her. As long as be very bad behaved I have been a very lucky mom my daughters the most of the times behave. Well she don't cry but she just wants attention and start calling ppl saying hi! Just take her favorite toy or her favorite snack with her. That way she is not out of her comfort zone. Instead of the High chair get a booth and sit her right next to you. They like to be very independent at this stage and they feel very trap in a high chair, and probably after a few minutes you can try the high chair. You have to remember to that she look at you like her protector as well she wants to be next to you as well even though she is trying to get her independence. I don't know much but those are the few thing I learn about my daughter when she was that age. I know it can be very challenging you can put the menu in front of her and asked her what she wants even though she is small but you are introducing her to choices and even though she will be going crazy with the menu LOL! You are giving yourself 2 minutes of rest. I hope you can go out again and for her to well behave! LMAOL! If I find something else that can help you I write you back well mamita Good LUCK!

K.,

We have been taking our son out since he was a few months old too. He's a very shy child, so I don't often have to worry about him acting out. He mostly just clings. We have learned to keep him distracted. Most places have a little coloring sheet for kids and that works as long as they don't take too long to bring his food. For the places that don't have it, we bring a coloring book and some crayons. We ask to be sat near other people with children. That way we don't worry if he gets loud, because they typically understand. Plus the kids tend to distract each other. We also give our son the choice of where to sit, next to Mommy or next to Daddy. We don't make him use a booster seat. We ask to sit in a booth so he can wiggle. We don't give him sugary drinks while he's waiting for his food (that's just asking for trouble). We ask for a cup and a straw (becuse that's a treat to him) and fill it with our own juice from home.

Going out to eat with us has been great for him. He has learned a lot about polite behavior and he has become more social lately when we go out. He went through the same phase your daughter is going through. We didn't react when he tried to act out. And we still insisted that he use manners. We had to leave a restaurant a few times, but it was a good lesson for all of us. Just try to keep your cool and keep her engaged. Make sure you don't try to go out if she didn't nap well that day or if she's already cranky. If the food is taking too long, take turns walking around the restaurant with her. Be flexible and remember that it's not an adult event when you eat out with your child. She'll get the hang of it soon. We're really enjoying eating out with our son now that he's a little older (29 months). It's good for all of us to have a change of scenery every now and then.

I hope this helps.

-T. Q