Dining Etiquette for the Left-handed

Updated on July 12, 2018
N.Z. asks from Los Angeles, CA
13 answers

We’re supposed to hold the knife with the right and the fork with the left. Is this still true for a left-handed person? Working with my daughter on some basic table manners, but not sure what to do with the knife since she’s left-handed. She normally eats with her left hand and uses a fork/spoon with her left hand.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am lefty and keep the fork in my left and knife in my right. Stab food with fork in left hand, cut with knife in right hand, then transport the food already on the fork to mouth with left hand. It's actually easier than all the switching around that righties do with their utensils ;)

6 moms found this helpful

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Etiquette, shmetiquette. What we do in the US is different than in English, for example. And there are fewer and fewer manners all around.

I think it's more important that she avoid the unpleasant behaviors, like those mentioned below - slurping, not holding over, bringing mouth to soup instead of soup to mouth, talking with a full mouth, what to do with her napkin, how to handle foods she doesn't like, and so on. Place settings are designed for right handed people, dating back to when people thought there was something wrong with lefties. And they stayed that way due to the majority of people being righties. Schools also used to force lefties to write with the right hand, but I think we've progressed past that. So should we with utensils.

I think you should focus on skills, not which hands she uses. Show her how you do it (so she can learn the relative position of knife & fork, how to cut without sending the food off the plate, and so on), but say she might like to do it the opposite way as she is a lefty. Remind her that not all lefties do it the same way anyhow. Let her decide what feels right for her.

Control of her food, and knife safety, matter more. Also, I know many lefties who ask to sit at the left end of a table so they aren't banging elbows with the righty next to them, and I'd suggest you encourage/allow that, especially at a crowded table. That may mean educating some relatives.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

My niece and nephew are lefties. They hold the fork with their left and knife with their right. I'm a rightie but I like to hold my fork in my left had. I don't know why. I don't think it is about manners but what they are comfortable with.

5 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from Boston on

Nope. Hubby is left handed as are 3 out of my 4 kids. They all use regular scissors but they all eat left handed. We arranged seating around the table to put the 2 right handers on the same side so there wasn't elbow bumping issues.

As they get older other things pop up like smudged writing. The trick for that is a harder lead pencil and fine ink pens to they dry faster.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

Your daughter is 6 - just focus on the *basics*. Napkin in lap, no talking with mouth full, no chewing with mouth open, no burping. Teach her how to set the table. Teach her how to cut food without worrying about the hand she is using.

If she truly masters all of that to a consistent level of "politeness", that would be the time to explore advanced topics!

Otherwise, mealtime will become a headache.

Also, at least in major metropolitan areas (like LA, I would imagine) there are professional etiquette classes for children...if she seems "into" that stuff (preparing for Disney Princess living, lol), maybe she would enjoy that.

By the way - you might want to give your relatives a heads-up that she is learning, before you have a tiny "teacher" on your hands. If - for example - grandpa has a habit of slurping his oatmeal...he might get called out!!

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

We let our LH kid eat with knife in left hand. Just came naturally.

My LH sibling had to use knife in right hand and found it really hard.

I don't know what the etiquette is. My kid eats nicely and with manners. You don't notice they aren't using them the same.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

As long as she's not slurping her food right off the plate with her tongue, I don't think it matters which hand she uses her knife/fork/spoon/chop sticks.

I'm right handed and I tend to always transport food to my mouth with my right hand.
When cutting, my fork to hold what I cut is in my left hand and knife in the right, but once cut, the knife gets put down, fork switches to right hand, and I use it to pick up food to go to my mouth.
I don't know if it's correct or not - it's just what I've always done.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Your daughter already has a head start in proper use should she travel to Europe in the future. There is no reason for her to switch traditional place settings or hands just because she is a lefty.

In the US we tend to have the 'bad manners' of switching the fork to our right hands if we are right handed. However, it does prevent us from spilling food all over, which is for the greater good of everyone at the table. :-)

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

as a person who is ambidextrous? I do what works for ME and the setting i'm in.
My bestie is a lefty. She sits at the END of the table so her left arm is out not in someone's face (not like she puts it up there but you know what I mean).

I wouldn't worry about which hands she holds things in - I would stress the importance of chewing with your mouth closed, using a napkin, don't talk with food in your mouth - THOSE manners.

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D..

answers from Miami on

I'm right-handed, but I do exactly what mynewnickname does. It's just easier than putting the fork and knife down and picking the fork back up with my right hand. And I've hurt my right hand before and HAD to eat with my left hand, so it's good that I've had some practice and am not terrible at it.

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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

My daughter is left handed so everything is in reverse. Your daughter will not feel comfortable holding the knife in her right and fork in left. Don't force her to do things the right handed way. It's hard teaching lefty's how to do things like write and eat when you are a righty but just have patience you 2 will get through it. Etiquette rules were made for the right handed because most people are right handed. As her mother you will have to be her advocate. My daughter plays tennis and volleyball. When she first started playing the coaches tried to teach her how to serve and hit with her right. She was too shy to tell them that she was left handed so I and to step in. You may have to step in with school as well. A day care teacher told me she was trying to teach my daughter to use her right hand because it would be easier for her. I stopped that right away. I would say just don't force her or let anyone try to force her to do things with her right hand. My daughters favorite quote is "lefties rule" so let her be a lefty all the way. Good luck!

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

My son is left handed. I have just taught basic table manners and to use whichever hand is easiest (he is a bit ambidextrous). The only thing I’ve really done that is specific to being left handed is to have him be aware of which side he is on. If he is sitting next to someone who is right handed to be sure he is sitting to their left so that he isn’t accidentally bumping elbows with them as they eat.

Updated

My son is left handed. I have just taught basic table manners and to use whichever hand is easiest (he is a bit ambidextrous). The only thing I’ve really done that is specific to being left handed is to have him be aware of which side he is on. If he is sitting next to someone who is right handed to be sure he is sitting to their left so that he isn’t accidentally bumping elbows with them as they eat.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I doubt that anyone will think using her left hand is I'll mannered. I suggest how one uses the fork is part of current etiquette if it ever was.

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