I need a little decision making help. I will try not to make this too long.
Two years ago my grandfather suddenly passed away. He did leave a will (several in fact, all self-made), but because of the legitimacy of the wills, they could not be used (some were incoherent because of his incorrect use legal jargon and some did not use the proper ink colors). Well, because of this, his wills were considered null and everything treated as if he did not have a will. According to Texas law regarding that, his wife (his third--not my grandmother) would be given half of his estate and his children, my father and my aunt, would be given the other half. Because of various reasons, my father and aunt had not spoken to my grandfather in several years. I am the only one of my grandfather's grandchildren that has kept contact with him. Actually, in a lot of ways my grandfather helped raise me (there were a lot of problems between my parents after their divorce, which is another long story that really does not apply here). My father and aunt decided the only right thing to do would be to forfeit their claim, and so they did. Here is where it starts to get complicated. My grandfather named his wife's daughter and her husband as executioner's of the will (or in this case, lack thereof). To make matters more complicated, my step grandmother is not physically or mentally capable of handling his affairs, to the point that her daughter and husband had to file a power of attorney over her. Very understandable.
However, right after my grandfather died, D. (I will go ahead and refer to my step grandmother's daughter by an initial to save space) kept asking if there was anyone who would dispute their claim (many times in fact), which I would tell her that I did not think so. Well, one day right after the funeral we went to my grandfather's office where he kept his pictures. When I asked if I could have some, she replied that we should either wait to see if anyone wanted them or until she made copies. Again, understandable, even though some were of my grandmother (his first wife), and I wondered who would want them besides me, my father, aunt, or cousins (two years later, I still do not have any of those pictures). But, okay, whatever. What bothered me was the fact that she had given her son a trinket of my grandfather's. Okay, her family or who she deemed worthy could get some personal items of my grandfather's, but I could not, who actually was related to him. Well, I blew it off and went home.
Fast forward, two years later. Not surprisingly the case is in probate. That is not where my problem lies; my problem lies in the fact that D. keeps giving my grandfather's things away, but is hesitant to give me personal items of his. I did get some books of his that he got from a second hand bookstore not too long after he died. The other day I spoke with D. and she told me that she set more books aside for me (I do love books, but my grandfather and I had different taste). She also told me that she had given away some medals of his (he was a pilot during World War II) , his flight jacket, and his flight helmet. I don't mind so much that she gave them away; especially because they do mean a lot to the person she gave them to. But, he is not the only one she is giving stuff to. She is just giving things away to people that she deems worthy. I DO mind that she is giving stuff away while the case is still in probate, AND not offering his family first pick. That does bother me.
(Wow, this is much longer than I expected. I apologize for the length.)
Anyway, my question is: should I contact the attorneys and file a protest (I am not sure what the terminology is, so please correct me if I am wrong), or ask that she stop giving things away before a decision has been made? Or should I just blow it off? I am not disputing the money in the case: my step grandmother should get it all, and D. needs that money to pay for my step grandmother's many medical and living expenses. I am disputing the fact that she is giving everyone EXCEPT his family his things. I am torn. I do like D., but not what she is doing.
Please be kind in your responses.
Since it seems you get along okay with this person, why don't you make a little list of the things that are important to you and ask her if you can have them? It sounds like you are pretty laid back and don't want to cause any rifts, but this is being perceived as if you don't really care if you get anything or not. Ask and you just might receive.
I, too, am under the impression that everything needs to be completed, before she starts doling out stuff.....maybe call & ask your attorney (or an attorney) for advice.
I know there is nothing like a death in the family to cause hard feelings, and often arguing. Like you, I'd try to head it off at the pass...before it gets worse.
Can you contact the attorney? Have a list of items YOU want and stick to what you want. He could contact her and get her to bring them to his office. Two years is more than enough time to copy photos.
If you have point blank asked her and told her the items you want and she has either denied or ignored you - go to the court where the probate is being handled and dispute the will.
GOOD LUCK!!
i'm sorry for your loss!! I hope you have many happy memories of your grandfather.
Have you just come right out and ask her? I am a firm believer that you should go to the person directly. What exactly is it that you want of your grandfather's? You need to be very specific in your requests because you seem to be very understanding of some things she has given away already. I think that if you tell her how you are feeling and she blows you off, that would be the time I would lay into her. Give her the chance to make it right. She won't have any idea nor will she "feel" obligated to respect your feelings if you don't tell her. Some people are just oblivious to subtle and need a head on approach.
If all else fails, and things don't go entirely the way you had hoped in probate, just remember that memories last forever in your heart. Life is too short to be wrapped up in materialistic stuff that you can't take with you. Your grandfather wouldn't have wanted so much anguish I am sure! Good luck to you!
I would contact an attorney or the attorney who is dealing with the probate. Unfortunately small things that are not spelled out in the will tend to be divided up long before a will is read or probate is dealt with. I am not actually sure the legalities of this because in all the cases I dealt with everyone had their eye on the prize, the money and real property. :(
One problem you may run into is the court could look at how the probate will run its course which is everything going to your step grandmother. In that case you would not have any legal claim to the property.
Yes, she is breaking the law until the will is out of probate. Either way the attorney could counsel you on what you can have or not have since it went the way it happened. You may not have legal claim to anything and you may have claim to much.
Your stepMom's daughter is HER power of attorney, not your Grandfather's. She should NOT have done what she did and you should take her to court over it and hash it out legally. With the stepMom's age... medicare is paying for a large portion of her medical care and prescriptions and the daughter will not need or even deserve all your Grandfather's estate for any reason other than to unfairly leave out his blood relatives.
.
Absolutely contact an attorney on your behalf. If you let this get through probate without filing a probate there will be nothing you can do and you may have no recourse. Greed seems to take over when people are deceased and it is disgustingly sad, but common.
I am confused - did they probate a will or go intestate (no will)...either way if all was given to his wife and her daughter is her legal guardian she can do what she likes with anything not listed....the probate lawyers will not help you as you are not their client. You can talk to the court coordinator and ask what you should file and/or make a list of the things you would like to have. The daughter cannot guess what anyone wants without a list and it sounds as though she is trying to be fair....she is in a very difficult position. My mom passed this year and due to greed of others the will and probate is a mess but I have given to those I felt she was close to and were good to her and nothing to the others - everything was left to me.....my suggestion is to make a list and talk to her....my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time and I am sorry for your loss...
Legally nothing should be given away until after probate is settled. And it could take years. My older brother passed away in 2009 and did not have a will. We figured that everything would go to our mom, it didn't. His daughter got everything. He was never married to her mother and never had a paternity test done. My brother did not have much in life so we didn't feel it was worth attorney’s fees to fight for anything. I do have a relationship with my niece now and my family and I try to help out whenever we can.
I would try to talk with D and let her know what items you would like, memories etc.
Send a certified letter, return receipt requested, to the attorney for the probate case including your family connection and a list of the items that you want. Send a copy to the judge that is handling the case-be sure to include the exact court case name and number in the letter, and show at the bottom of the letter that you have cc'd the judge, also certified with return receipt. Keep a copy of the letter for yourself and attach the return receipts to the copy of the letter that you kept when you get them back in the mail. There is no Will, so nothing is designated in writing and all decisions are the responsibility of the court, which takes into consideration the immediate family members in settlement proceedings and distribution of personal items. It is ILLEGAL for her to give away ANYTHING until the case has been settled. She has to provide a complete inventory, as of the date of death, of EVERYTHING he owned to the court, if things have been given away, you need to list them in your letter, along with the recipients, and bring this to the attenton of the judge. You have a right to request personal items and if you don't make your wishes known, no one can help you, and most particularly the fact that she is illegally giving items away that are the property of the Estate. Being an Executor of an Estate is a job that has legal rules and regulations, as well as legal sanctions, and anyone charged with that responsibility should be instructed by their attorney on what they can and cannot legally do, as well as what their legal responsibilities to the Estate include. Good luck!
