Differing Political Views

My husband and I don't always agree. However, we don't get into big debates either. We listen to each others opinion and respect each others decision/thoughts. We often joke that we shouldn't bother to vote because we cancel each other out. (Don't worry, we do vote because otherwise you don't have the right to complain in the end. LOL)

When we do talk about it, we have learned that is important to listen to each other respectfully. We also know that there are certain issues that we just can't be swayed from. The big thing is when we talk about any topic that is strong in our minds/hearts, we know that the point is not to make our points or change the other's view. It is to learn why the other feels/thinks that way and in essence learn more about each other. And of course we know when to back down and say this is getting to heated.

I find that when our views are at odds, our values tend to line up perfectly...If we have the patience or sense of humor to get that far. We both tend to want "X". We just happen to think that "Y" or "Z" is the way to accomplish that. It can be challenging to get past Y & Z to get to X. As long as we're both being respectful (note that caveat wouldn't be there if that had always been the case!!!) it can be really FUN to figure out where the common ground is, and why we believe different things. It usually ends up deepening my respect not only for his views, but also makes my own more cognizant.

There's a great West Wing episode (if you're familar with/ or like that series) that highlights the ideal we TRY to acchieve...where they're trying to sit two seats on the supreme court.

Of course, if there's a major lack of respect, I not only don't talk politics, I tend not to talk at all. Someone who thinks or treats me like I'm an idiot, and is so close minded that only their OWN ideas can be right &/or have merit, isn't someone I want to spend much time around. They can be a condescending, egotistical, jerk somewhere else with someone else. :) Of course, that street has to go both ways. That means I have to be able to respect their opinon as well. If I can't respect (note I'm NOT saying agree with!)their thoughts, there's probably going me.

I LOVE heated debates, though not everyone does. I find them fun.My husband and I can handle them, but a lot of people can't. My husband and I agree on a lot of things and disagree on some things. If we have an area that causes marital discord, I avoid it. It's not worth it, because my husband is a loving person full of integrity, so it's not worth "rocking the boat" over issues that are minor in the grand scheme of our lives.

If you are able to "agree to disagree" then you can discuss it. If you both get really mad or if one of you gets really mad, then I wouldn't discuss it if I were you.

I believe everyone has a right to their opinion, if agrees with me or not. However, I don't believe in fighting either. it's better to not talk about it and keep the peace.

Me and My husband do not agree on politics. So, we don't talk about it. I don't know whether that is the best policy or not, but it's a safe one in our house. My own personal opinion is my own personal opinion. I don't discuss politics with other people even if I agree because - I don't really care what other people have to say about those types of subjects. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And that's it. Sorry to come off abrupt about it. But it saves us (my hubby and I) from arguing about it. Plus, I CAN'T WAIT TIL IT'S OVER!!!!!!!! Good luck.

Hello, most of the time we don't discuss politics. I don't believe it is the differing point of view that is the issue but that fact that I came from a family that voiced their opinions freely and didn't take it personally, my husband on the other hand didn't. However my husband it getting much better at it after almost 25 years of marriage. Good luck, keep it clean and try to not make or take it personally.

Wow! What a great question. I struggle with the same thing and wonder how I didn't notice it was a difference between us when we were first getting to know each other. My conclusion is that it wasn't as important to me then. I don't think it's a superficial difference though. Politics are related to values and world view and those things really matter, especially when you're raising kids together! My husband of 8 years and I talk about it pretty often and agree sometimes but I'm surprised by some of the things we disagree about. We always listen to each other's points of view and are respectful of what the other has to say but it still upsets me sometimes that we disagree about these core issues. I don't try to change his mind usually but just wonder how we can be so close and differ so much. He doesn't think the differences matter but I am sometimes unsettled by it even though I wish I weren't. I'm rambling and might not be saying anything that's helpful to you at all. The time is certainly ripe for this kind of issue. I'd be interested in talking to you about it and sharing situations. If you're interested, feel free to give me a call. ###-###-####
B.

Hey Girl,

What you and your partner need to do is... agree to disagree, and have respect for eachothers views. Just be open minded. And then let it go. There is soooo much more in a realationship than politics.

Good luck.

Just as with anything, you are not always going to agree with each other. You and your hubby are not the same person. It is important to accept and respect each other's differences. You want him to accept you for the way you think and vice versa.

I'd say talk as much as you can about it. Hash it out in a calm and un-emotional way - which is a challenge, but it will remind you of those fun college days when a group of people could sit around for hours and debate anything. It's exciting if you allow it to be.

I have been biting my tongue quite a bit lately about politics. :) My husband still claims to be undecided, so I have strongly suggested that we watch the debates together, which we did, so that he will make a more informed decision, because he doesn't like to follow politics. I have offered a few opinions, but try really hard not to come off contentious or lecturing or pushy. He's entitled to a different opinion. Your husband should know what you think about this like everything else, but you don't have to fight about it, and you don't have to agree. Differing about tax policy won't affect how you raise your children, but if it is about values, you should probably work that out between you, and try to leave the candidates out of it. :) I talk to other people who are more interested in the minutia of politics.

When it comes to politics me and my husband just agree to disagree. Sometimes we have discussions but as soon as they start to get heated one of us calls time out and we stop talking about them and do whatever we need to to calm down again. I like running personally because it works off my steam, but that's just what works for us!
PS sometimes the tension makes making up a lot more fun... :o)

my husband and I voted different in the last election. he knows where I stand and I know where he stands and we respect that.

Views between spouses can differ. No big deal. Values can differ between spouses. This is a concern. Right now is not the time to bicker about politics. It's just not worth it. What is worth bickering about is how to keep your family values from sliding apart. Politicians have been around forever, and forever they will lie, cheat, and steal. The Pharisees did it, the Romans did, the British did, the Babylonians did, and the Americans will continue just like the rest. What's more important is that the two of you hold on to each other and hold on tightly. A family that's in a constant squabble disintegrates; and any house divided against itself will not stand; a family splintered by feuding will fall apart; every family that is divided against itself will not stand; and each house, parted against itself, shall not stand; if one part of any family fights against the other part of it, it cannot stand; وَعَلِمَ يَسُوعُ أَفْكَارَهُمْ، فَقَالَ لَهُمْ: «كُلُّ مَمْلَكَةٍ تَنْقَسِمُ عَلَى ذَاتِهَا تَخْرَبُ. وَكُلُّ مَدِينَةٍ أَوْ بَيْتٍ يَنْقَسِمُ عَلَى ذَاتِهِ، لاَ يَصْمُدُ. I hope this helps.

I took a creative and critical thinking class - I was pretty closed on what was right and wrong without considering both sides (this happens on both sides of the spectrum - one set of beliefs does not make you open minded, but merely closed to the other side). I had to learn that all sides are valuable, and this is what makes a beautifully diverse country. It converted me to Independant, which I fought vehemently over with my partner. We don't agree on everything, but we don't avoid talking. Instead we discuss but avoid conversion or small talking. Your hubby isn't wrong for his views and neither are you. When it gets heated take a breather, and possibly just decide you each believe what you believe. The most important belief, after all, is in each other!