Differences

Have you ever thought that maybe he would be happy just knowing that he is doing whatever it is that will make you happy doing? Mine is like that. Even if he wouldn't have picked it himself, he would be happy doing it because I love it.
Just pick what you want and tell him or tell him that you want to stay home and save money..... whatever makes you happy.... just tell him.

I understand where you're coming from, honestly, because we just went through this with our vacation.

First, you can't control your husband. So if he makes a decision to tell you to plan whatever and he'll go along, then why not? That's HIS decision to be sacrificial. Enjoy it!

If you can't get your mind around that, why not plan something that includes something you both like? (eg, My husband wanted to stay in Boston as he's a city boy/history freak while I HATE the city and wanted to be waited on hand and foot. We compromised on a resort an hour outside of Boston.)

Celebrate your anniversary. You need to have fun, have a date, spend some time as "grown ups", and make memories. Make him do some work tho. If you're planning the date, make him find childcare. Otherwise he's just lazy and won't enjoy what you do no matter what it is because it hasn't cost him anything - he's got nothing invested.

random and off topic: I HIGHLY recommend reading John Gottman's "The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work" and Jim Burn's "Creating an Intimate Marriage". Read the former first. My husband and I have been married three years and are just learning the things laid out in these books. They will give you the tools to create a VERY happy, beautiful marriage. (And may help your husband voice his opinion on an anniversary date.)

Good luck!

Men ofen do not want to plan things in fear that it will fail. If you are a stay at home mom then he focuses on taking care of and protecting the family and would love and probably expects you to be the creative relationship builder. He sounds like he loves you and what most likely would make him enjoy the day/night would to see you relaxed, sexy, loving and having a great time as a woman....not just the mommy role. He loves you for that too I am sure, but it is important to have that grown up alone time, too. Think of things he really doesnt hate first. If you are considering a dinner, go somewhere he will enjoy. A great meal will win him over. Since you are a "suzie homemaker" make a picnic basket of his favorite items and check into a hotel give him directions to meet you there. When he arrives, be wearing his favorite jersey or whatever he loves you in....add a pair of high heels and let him relax. Any time together and alone without expectations should be cherished and both of you will have a wonderful time.

There is a great book/kit called "Simply Romantic Nights" by Shirley and James Dobson. It has really GREAT ideas on how to keep the romance going.

Just relax and enjoy the evening/day or whatever time you have.

Oh you have got to go while you can. Try and think of the things he likes to do and where you think he will enjoy as well. You could make it a surprise. Don't tell him anything and let it be a mysterious romantic gettaway. If you want to make sure he is going to have fun too you can use this opportunity to make it what you want and how you want to make him happy. Sort of a sensual vacation, that is as long as you are not taking your baby with you, even if you are, think of it as a surprise you are doing for him, yes he knows you are going somewhere but sit back and use your imagination, fantisize on what your dream vacation would be and mix it up with what he would like.
Hope this helps
A.

Can you celebrate it twice? Celebrate with his preference on the actual anniversary. The next day, or week, celebrate it in a way that is your preference.
That also makes up for having missed a year.
Happy Anniversary!

I don't know about your man, but my husband would LOVE to come home to a candle lit dinner with me dressed in something sexy. That would be enough celebration for him! Is there someone who could keep your daughter for the evening? Then you can both have fun - and it will be fairly cheap.

How about a B&B in the mountains? Not too expensive, you can get away & have each other to connect to without distraction. You cant be responsible for his feelings. If he says "you choose" then that is the info you have to go on. How could he not enjoy some alone time with his sweetheart?

We have enjoyed this place:

http://www.sugartreeinn.com/

But there are many to choose from if you google it.

In the mean time let him be responsible for his feelings & actions.

: )

Just a thought, if you have someone you trust to care for your daughter at their home one of the best nights out to celebrate is a night in and very low cost if that is a factor too. We plan a nice dinner, movie we both want to watch etc... if what you want to do can be done another time this might be a good alternative. The key though is you have to plan the time at home for each other- no answering the phone, computer, cleaning etc.... just focus on each other for a few hours.
Happy Anniversary- we will be married 18 years on the 20th of Nov.

Since you know he probably won't be interested in what you want to do, make a list of things that you know or think will be interesting to him and pick the one that you enjoy doing the most. This doesn't have to be a sacrifice for either of you. If you don't want to pick one of "his" things, then look into something that neither of you have ever done, especially together. Something my husband and I do when we celebrate our anniversary is to find an activity or restaurant we used to enjoy when we were just dating (i.e. something that you can't really do with kids in tow). It reminds us of how much we've been through together, and it is a great way to celebrate how far we've come.

Take time out.
Enjoy each other and tell each other how much you care.
Yes your life has change. A wonderful child of your love is now part of you both.
Learn to grow together. Tell each other what is on your mind. Guessing game should not be part of a marriage.
Enjoy what you now have. It will be differnt but exciting.
Share time together.

Have a good day Today
Vicki W.

How about having a babysitter take the baby to another location and the two of you just spending the evening or night alone. Order a take out dinner, light some candles and set a romantic table scene for dinner. Then if you both enjoy movies rent 1 or more if you want and just relax and watch movies. The other thing that we have done is to play cards. It is something that we enjoy. My hubby wanted to play strip poker but since I don't know how to play poker I said how about gin rummy. You get the idea. It was actually fun since we both play pretty well. If you are going for the romantic theme don't forget the bedroom. Clean sheets, tidy up the bedroom, light candles and music if you like that.
The other thing that you could do is to make a list of 3-5 things each that you would like to do. He choose 3-5 things that he likes or wants to do, you do the same. Put them in a hat/bowl and each person gets to choose one then you can decide on which one to participate in. If there is something like a concert, sporting event etc... that you both want to attend that is at a later date make plans to do that together as a belated anniversary gift. Remember to enjoy spending time with each other. Togetherness is truly what it's about.

This is what my husband and I do. He planned the honeymoon and we went on a cruise. I planned the first anniversary. From there on out he planned the even years and I planned the odd years. I plan what I want to do on the odd years and he plans what he wants to do on the even years and we surprise each other. For our first anniversary I planned a week-end trip. I arranged time off for him with his boss, packed his suitcase, and kidnapped him from work. We flew to Atlanta and then to Tampa. We got a rental car and drove to St. Petersburg. We got there about 2 a.m. We were driving over the St. Pete bridge and we saw this huge pink building looming in the distance. My hubby said, "What do you think that is?" I gasped and said, "I think that is our hotel!" We stayed in the Don Ce Sar hotel right on the beach. We had the best time. We have taken trips, gone out to dinner to nice restaurants that we have never been to before, I have cooked a romantic dinner at home, we have stayed overnight in the Opryland Hotel and had my mom and dad watch the kids. So, I would encourage you to take turns every year and surprise each other. Then there is no discussion or argument about what you are going to do for your anniversary each year. The surprise element is what makes it so much fun! The other thing that I have done before is to buy a sexy nightie and wrap it up and give it to my hubby for our anniversary. He opens the present and then I model the nightie. He loves that!

Well, since you know him so well... just do something that will work for both of you. I'm sure that if you both are just together and relaxed it will be a great time. By the way, how is the world do you work 2 jobs, take care of a baby 10 1/2 months old and still have time to make anything? I have a boy the same age, work part-time and I am lucky if I get enough time to shower more than twice a week! You rock!

Here is what I suggest: Tell him honestly that you do not want to spend a lot of money (and you can have a wonderful memory without breaking the piggy bank). Also tell him honestly that you want to do something he will enjoy as well. Give him a few options of things that you like and want to do and ask him to choose one or come up with something else to surprise you. If he is still insistent about what you want to do, then let him. He knows that you need a break from your children and deserve a special night. If he is willing to do something for your enjoyment, please let him. Consider a gift of himself to give up his own desires for you.

After seven years of marriage and my anniversary coming up on Sunday I understand what your going through. Why don't you guys try dinner and a movie or go bowling. He might not care where he goes as long as he's with you. A lot of the time my husband doesn't care about the place just that I make a decision. Try cooking dinner for the two of you and eat by candle light or order in and watch a movie. Sometimes us women just have to decided how it's going to be. I hope you guys have a great anniversary. Congrats and many more.

You can each take a piece of paper and write down your top 5 choices of what each of you would like to do,then compare and if any match, that is what you do! Or, it may give each of you some ideas that you hadn't thought of. You could go get a couple's massage, go to a nice place for dinner and then get a hotel room. You could go on a 3 day cruise if it is possible with a baby. If you want to stay home and save money, you could get take out from your favorite rest and then get a bottle of wine or champane and sit by the fire (if you have a fireplace) and then rent a movie. That is what my husband and I do every Valentine's day, we have two kids. This is silly to argue about. Really, just tell him to choose his top 5 and you choose your top 5 and then that is it. Or, take control and do something you KNOW he will want to do! If he wants you to choose, you choose. What would he be interested in? Going to see a movie? Dinner at a great restaurant, bowling? This is easy, have fun!

You know what he enjoys, so plan for that, if you would enjoy it too. Going someplace is not mandatory. A nice dinner at a good restaurant would suit me fine.

ok sweetheart now look at it this way your man loves you , he wants to give you something you would enjoy just for you because he loves you and you are adding so much stuff to it that you take away the fun of doing something nice for you take a deep breath and drop all the baggage and say baby i want to go here , you might sujest a motel with a whirlpool tub that would be great for both of you much love and enjoy you man and child cindi