Oh, sister!!! Was I in your boat!!! I think diaper bags are a waste of time!!! They are so deep, you cant find anything. I bought a "messenger" bag. The purpose of this bag is for carrying a laptop, pens, documents, large folders, etc, etc, etc. I have found that it is good for diapers, wipes, my wallet, keys, etc, etc, etc. I purchased mine at Target for around 20 bucks. I dont know if they still have them, but I have seen them at Staples, Office Depot, etc. I got mine in black. Its cloth so that I can throw it in the washer, plus, it doesnt show all the grime you set it down in on a daily basis.
I hope this helps you. I did away with a purse at my kids "need everything" age, and needed that big ol' bag, I have since graduated into a big purse!!! I kid around and tell my hub that one day, I'll get a small bag again!!!
Margaret :)