Destructive Behaviors

Regardless of what you say about the parents, it has to be traced back to them - you certainly can't blame the schools! :)

I don't want to sound harsh, but really, these children should be in a more structured setting even within their home. I have plenty of friends who homeschool, and their children are not out of control. There are parents who say they homeschool when really, they are too lazy to conform to the regimen of a school's schedule and expectations, and they are neither teaching their children subject matters nor social manners. Having broken toys, torn wallpaper, mice and insects in bedrooms full of uneaten food - this is just completely ridiculous and indicates much neglect on the parents' part. I am sorry your grandchildren are living like this, and I hope you will find the strength to intervene at this point. The parents need someone to lovingly but very firmly make it clear that this is extremely unusual and not acceptable for normal people. Children need boundaries and accountability, and it sounds like they don't have any.

Wow!! You are between a rock and a hard place. This is not normal behavior. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your grandchildren's parents. If you're close, maybe you could talk to them. I'm assuming you don't feel comfortable with that or you wouldn't be asking the mamas for advice. Most people blame other kids at school for their kids bad behavior, but it seems to me they could use a classroom with some structure and rules. The parents are not doing what is best for their children. Kids need structure, limits, rules and consequences along with unconditional love. If you watch the children in your home, I suggest you make some rules about how property is treated and consequences if those rules aren't followed like putting toys away and not being permitted to play with them. Otherwise, I really don't know except just keep telling them how important it is to take care of your things and how important it is to do your homework and PRAY!!!

Sounds to me like they need more structure - i.e. in a traditional schooling environment. Otherwise, they will never respect their belongings, or anyone else's for that matter. I am 28 years old and know 3-4 other people my age (including my husband's former roommate) who don't respect their things or anyone elses. He broke my husbands $350 video game system and wouldn't even admit to it, much less offer to repair or get a new one.

If they are destructive at your house, you have every right to discipline them. If they aren't going to respect their things, they must at least respect Grandma's things!

Just from what you wrote it seems they may be bored or not challenged enough. It seems they have too much energy & no where to channel it.

Linda,

You sound like a concerned Grandma so I know you love your grandkids, but you do not say that your children have asked you to advise them. It must be terribly hard to stand by and watch when you see things that may be able to be corrected, but you may have to do your best to let your worries go and allow your kids to do it their way.