Desperate Mother

Updated on November 02, 2010
M.C. asks from Harrisburg, AR
26 answers

My daughter is 6 yrs old and in the first grade, every night we are working on her reading but she is constantly having trouble. Almost every night she ends up crying and I am frustrated and ready to cry myself. We go over her words and she knows them then I call them out to her to spell and she doesnt remember any of them. She is doing good at every thing else but her reading is going to get her held back if we cant get her to know her words, I dontknow what else to do her teacher and I have tried all kind of tricks and she still cant remember I am at a total loss on new tricks to help her, . I have looked into sylvan but unfortunately I cant afford to go that route at this time, so any suggestion is greatly appreciated.

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

Have you tried The Letter Factory and The Word Factory by Leap Frog? DVD's. They helped my kids and my daughter struggled in the first grade. My son could read before kindergarten, but my daughter could not. It will come together. Have you tried spellingcity.com? You can make games and puzzles out of the words.

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H.C.

answers from Hartford on

Does she really need to spell them? Typically the reading of the words comes before the spelling of them. I would focus on helping her to read them and put the spelling on hold for now. If they are sight words you can play a game with them having her slap the word that you call out, you can have her write them in sand, use glitter glue to write them and then have her trace the letters with her finger. If they are words that can be sounded out like cat and bat, practice sounding them out c-a-t. I would also ask the school what they have in place for her at school to help her. They should be providing interventions to help her and charting her progress. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Oh my gosh I am so sad when I read things like this. She will learn it when she will learn it. Perhaps you can give her a break for awhile and let her just do it in school. Some people are just better at reading than others.

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C.M.

answers from Gainesville on

Think about changing her surroundings while she practices, and how the material is presented to her. Last year, my daughter had a problem with her sight words, and I would try to incorporate them into everything we did. For example, I would give her a few flashcards and she’d use highlighters to “find” her words in magazines or old newspapers. She’d get 1 M&M for every word she circled but only if she could tell me what it was. Or I’d call out words for her to spell with abc magnets while I cooked dinner. You could even just spread a blanket on the floor (or in the back yard) with lots of pillows and read a book together, asking her to point out any words she recognizes. Kids (well at least my daughter) are willing to do anything if they think it’s a game. I hope this helps. Good luck. :)

Oh, I almost forgot my daughter’s personal favorite. lol I just made 2 flashcards for every word, and we played memory. In order to “keep” her match she had to at least try the word on the card.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Reading and Spelling are actually two ENTIRELY different issues. Reading Comprehension is a whole THIRD issue that is virtually unrelated to the mechanics of being how to read. And Writing, yet a fourth AND fifth (there are the mechanics of writing, and there is the actual skill of learning how sentances & paragraphs form ideas). A child can have problems with any or all of the above 5.

First off: Rule out Dyslexia. That usually needs to be done by a pro.

Secondly: Determine *exactly* which of the above 5 is the problem. Obviously, if a child can't actually read yet but the "problem" is spelling or comprehension... you'll just be banging your head against the wall if you don't back up and start at the beginning.

For Beginning Reading:
- www.starfall.com is phenomenal for early reading and early spelling... but beyond that there are SO many variables that I wouldn't know where to start. I've taught many children the above 5 things, but I've taught them all differently based on their personality, struggles, etc... and I've done it all one on one.

In general, however, I tend to follow a Charlotte Mason approach to reading, writing, comp http://simplycharlottemason.com/basics/started/charlotte-... using living books (aka FUN and exciting books that follow a child's natural interests), narration (written, drawn, verbal, acted out, drawn out depending on which the child likes best... first sentence by sentence, then paragraph by paragraph, and finally chapter by chapter), dictation, & copy work ALONG with http://www.hwtears.com/ for handwriting (but for those who loathe handwriting, I'll also mix things up to keep it "fun" -like taping their work to the underside of a table and have them do it "Sistine Chapel Style", or write with quills and ink, or write in lemon juice/secret messages, etc.), AND a some good old Montessori thrown in for the visual spatial learners http://www.freemontessori.org/wp-content/uploads/albums/L... & http://www.freemontessori.org/?page_id=21

I know I just posted a lot of info / sources (the montessori language album alone is over 100 pages)... but the upside... is that all of these resources are free.

For a non-free source (once your DD moves past www.starfall.com) DO NOT forget computer games. Reader Rabbit & ClueFinders are both Phenom... but they do cost about $10 each.

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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

I don't know if you have tried this method but this worked very well with my twin girls. They had a list of words they had to learn every single week. I would put random words all throughout the house. I would tape it to the fireplace mantle, tape it to their bedroom walls, tape it in the bathroom anywhere and everywhere they interact on a daily basis. When we would enter the room the word would be staring at them in the face each and every single day and I would ask them what the word was. This seemed to work the best but you just have to figure out how your daughter learns best. For me I was always the hands on type. You could explain it to me ALL day long but until I actually jumped in and did it for myself I couldn't grasp it. I am a visual learner as well too. You might have to play around a little bit to figure out how she learns best. Isn't that the whole basis of Sylvan anyways? I wonder if there is a place you could take her to for fairly cheap to access that or does the school offer anything like that?

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I'm not sure what exactly is the problem? She's having difficulty learning to read? She's having difficulty learning her site words? She's having difficulty spelling?

My youngest daughter had a very difficult time learning to read. I took it one step at a time. We started with working with the sounds of each of the letters. Then we worked on memorizing the site words, which was very difficult and frustrating for both of us. I used flash cards. Then we worked on word families, "sat, hat, cat - hit, bit, kit". Spelling came later. Don't try doing it all at once.

In our school we had a program where senior citizens would come in and read with children one on one. This seemed to help her alot, having someone different work with her. You may not be able to afford Sylvan, but what about another family member. Maybe there's an older child (middle or high school) that you could pay a few dollars to help her a few days a week after school.

Try to make reading fun. Let her choose a book that's on her level. Read it over and over again to her. As you read, point to each of the words. Then have her read the book to you. Part of it will just be from memory, not actually reading, but some of the words will eventually stick.

It takes alot of time a patience, but it's worth it in the end.

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S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think she is too young to be expected to SPELL words.
Can she READ the words?
That comes first.

Can she read the simplest words when she sees them?
DOG, CAT, BALL, BED, etc.
If she's doing that with no difficulty, good.

Can she WRITE (print) words?
For example, can she copy words,
one letter at a time, that are on a worksheet?

It occurs to me that the pressure she may be feeling
when you work with her in the evenings is scary.
It might be easier to say "I don't remember"
than to try something that might be wrong.

I hope you'll be able to get some help from the school
or the school district.

Also, if she DOES need to be held back,
PLEASE don't see this as a great tragedy.
It will give her more time to learn the skills
that everything else is based on.

2 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Bakersfield on

Gosh, she's only 6 are they actually giving spelling tests already?
I would just spend more time reading with her while laying in bed or on the couch without any ofther distractions like TV. Some kids get distracted really easily if there are background noises.
I loved Dr Seuss books for my kids. Always point out the words while reading and make a game of it and not so much a "lesson". You can teach her without her really realizing she's being taught if you know what I mean. Get some letter magnets for the fridge and everyday make a new word and have her spell it, and mix them up and do it again and again. Make silly funny words and just make it as fun as possible without pressure or stress. You definitely dont want to say something like "you are not going to go to second grade if you dont learn this....", that's the type of pressure she does not need.
I have a feeling her little lightbulb will go off soon enough.... dont feel so pressured, she will read and spell well eventually. I bet this time next year she'll even be in the classroom spelling Bee Mom.

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K.I.

answers from Seattle on

If you are trying to get her to remember her spelling words, I use a voice inflection technique with my son...this week one of his challenge words is liquid...so I have him repeat after me..."L-I-Q.....U-I-D"...and when I say it I say it in a certain rhythm "don don High...don don low" so the L and the I are the same tone and the Q is high...does that make sense?

It works for us...

Take a deep breath and don't stress so much, no need for tears from either of you...try to keep it light and fun...

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O.S.

answers from Birmingham on

I don't understand from your post if the problem is reading or spelling. I know they both go hand in hand though. Our daughter is a good speller but not when she has to verbally spell it aloud. If you haven't tried having her write the word down rather than just telling you, do this. It helped us a ton! I call it out like a teacher might and she writes. She then gets excited for me to grade it and draw a BIG smiley face on the paper and do a big hug. Reading proficiently just takes practice, practice .....

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Find out if the school has a reading specialist and if so, enlist her help. Or find out if the school district has a reading specialist and ask for a referral. This should not cost you any money. Reading should not put you both in tears every night. If she is doing ok in the other areas at school, you should have her tested for dyslexia. My youngest daughter was tested for dyslexia in first grade because the teacher noticed a big discrepancy between different kinds of her work at school and we struggled so much with spelling, especially the blends (ch, th, str, etc) She was found (by the school and also the Scottish Rite Hospital (which offers free dyslexia screening) to have mild dyslexia and well as a hearing loss. She was then given speech therapy and extra reading help at school. We found a teacher that tutored on the side that gave her one on one training and helped her develop some skills (and some confidence) to compensate. Good luck!

There are also some kids that just don't "get it" at a certain point, but a few months later, they embrace a new skill.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Do they take a phonics approach at her school? If not, you may want to check into "Hooked on Phonics." I don't know that program personally, but I do know phonics was a wonderful way to learn to read! After the "whole language" and "sight-based" nightmares in education, many schools are back to phonics because it works! I'm not sure how much the brand new set costs, but you can probably find sets on ebay and Craigslist or even Amazon and Barnes and Noble that are used.

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E.A.

answers from Erie on

Talk to her teacher and see if they have Title 1 help for reading at her school. It's free and if your child is not keeping up with her peers, she is eligible for it.

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

if you go to sylavans they will give you and estimate. on my child the estimate was $5000.00 I paid for $500.00 cause that was all I could afford and my son went from flunking to passing and this was high school what they do works.

another trick I did with my son who was reading at 4 was not to sound out the word. like the word blackout I broke it down covered up the out and he read the black and then covered up the black and he read the out and told him to combine them. my son was reading at 4 this way. also read to her not make her read to you. read multiple books a night like you would with a 3 yr old once she gets the simple words raise her up to 4 yr old level and so forth. workbooks help to take the pressure off of her. read to her and she will pick it up. my son used to bring me 8 kid books a night which equalled out to 30 min to an hour of reading i read the same books over and over and then taught him to break up the compound words. it worked like a charm. but if you dont take the pressure off of her she will have a harder time learning. put the pressure on you and have her follow along. if she knows a paticular word have her tap your hand and ask her the word.

do it one word at a time. her confidence will come up and she will relax and everything will grow from there.

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter is in kindergarten now and she is struggling a bit as well. She actually is in speech class and she started last year. She is improving but it really does take time. I've come to the realization that kids will learn at THEIR own natural pace. If she has to be held back 1 year, better now then later. And you don't want her to get older and only get more frusturated with school. As long as you're working with her, or they do have tutors at schools. I actually had my daughter's speech teacher suggest the leap frog pen pad thing. (she'll be getting that for christmas) But just keep at it. Don't get frusturated, it'll only make it worse. TRUST ME, I know how you feel. You just want her to keep up, but reality is you just want her to love school and not feel stupid etc. Stay strong!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Dayton on

My 5 1/2 year old is having good luck with Sing, Spell, Read, and Write. It's a phonics based reading program designed for homeschool use, so it's very thorough and actually pretty fun. They have songs at different steps to help the kids out and they have a racetrack to mark your progress. Along the way there are games similar to Go Fish and Bingo to reinforce the concepts.

You can get it used, and if you have any questions about what you need PM me. Don't get the K-Level One combo kit: expensive and not necessary. The Level One kit has the letter sounds along with it, if she still needs those, so the K level isn't necessary.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

t might be helpful to know what your daughter's primary learning style is so you can teach her how to focus her efforts. Here's one of many sites that can help you evaluate whether she's most strongly visual, auditory, or kinesthetic: http://people.usd.edu/~bwjames/tut/learning-style/

If she's an auditory learner, for example, then spelling the words out loud, perhaps with music playing, or to a beat, or even making up a tune for each song will help. If she is primarily kinesthetic, spelling out loud might be nearly impossibly for her, but a different approach will work better.

Google key words like "reading, spelling, (your daughter's) learning style" to find helpful tips. Here's one very good summary: http://homeworktips.about.com/od/homeworkhelp/a/learnings...

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

you may talk with the teacher about putting her in reading tutoring i have my son in that and it has made a big change....im so sorry she is having such a hard time i know its heart breaking for you to watch her bein upset:( and she is still a baby:) i hope it gets better for her&you.....you may also check into a tutor coming to ur home once or twice a week...maybe that dont cost to much

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A.C.

answers from Fort Smith on

Hello M. have you thought about getting your daughter tested for dyslexia that is a disorder where sometimes children see their words backwards and they have trouble remembering what they have read I am a teacher in special education I see different types of
Learning disorders a lot I would recommend you take your daughter to
Your family doctor and ask about getting her tested to see if she has one

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D.D.

answers from New York on

I think you should use " Superphonics" by Ruth Miskin.There are 5 books in the series. The method of the author is the simplest,fastest way to teach your child to read.
And you should make a list of "tricky" words like GIVE,HAVE,ONE,.... and stick it on the wall.Every day add about 5 words to the list and she should read them all.
Happy reading!
Some moms wrote you about dyslexia.I can write to you what I know about it .Dyslexia is a disorder when children cannot blend the sounds.I think you can check it on your own.
Explain your daughter a rule of reading that the letters AR make the sound as in words : car,bar,far,harm,star. Read them for her.So that she can feel the rule.Then write her some words with AR:mark,spark,start,farm,jar. Ask her to read them on her own without any your help.If she reads them I do not think she has dyslexia.
And you can try some more rules of reading like OU sound in words: mouse,house,spouse,grouse,bound,hound.Ask her to read: round,pound,ground,scout,spout ,etc.
When you teach your daughter to read never call the " name" of a letter but only the sound it makes in a word. Sometimes split a word into sounds.
Explain your daughter that each letter has its name and some letters a little bit crazy because they make different sounds.And there are a lot of tricky words that do not follow the rules.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

not sure why you are asking her to SPELL the words also. There is a big difference I have found with being able to read and then to spell a word. I discovered this with my older son who was an early reader-(by 6 he was heavily into chapter books) He could read the hugest words but had trouble spelling many words that you would think would be easy for him. Always aced the spelling tests but just spelling in normal writing would be way off.

So just concentrate on the reading for now. Only spell the easy sight words and the test words.

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S.C.

answers from Lafayette on

Try www.spellingcity.com. You can enter all of her vocabulary words and the site can either test, teach, or play various games using those words. It makes learning them fun. Also, www.starfall.com is a fun site that teaches sounding out words and phonics blends.

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P.R.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with other moms that she shouldn't have to spell yet. Our neighbor's son is brilliant - learned to read at 3 or something - and he doesn't spell great. He can read words but not spell a lot of them. So I'd back off the spelling. One other suggestion I didn't see when I quickly scanned the list are Bob books. Most people seem to have had very good luck with them and it's an inexpensive route. Also, lots of first graders aren't reading much yet. It's early in the year. I help in my daughter's first grade class and it seems like the kids are all over the place in terms of development. I'd start over in a way, very slowly. Let your daughter gain confidence. Do the same easy 5 words for 4 nights or something and let her stop being frustrated. They get so frustrated so easily at this age and pushing makes it all worse.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

Kumon!!! Unlike Sylvan, Kumon is affordable! Sylvan costs thousands of dollars, while Kumon is much, much less. I've been taking my son to Kumon for 3 months and his reading has already improved! Call Kumon. Good luck and hang in there.

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M.P.

answers from Texarkana on

Has she been tested for dyslexia? If not, that would be the first thing I do. Your daughter is showing signs that she may be dyslexic. Trouble reading while excelling in other areas is a good indication that she is. Most schools now have a teacher who is trained at helping children with dyslexia. Please get her tested now so she doesn't have a lifetime of frustrations. Good luck!

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