Deseperatly Seeking Sleep

Consistency is the key. Are your children sleeping through the night? This is important so do what you have to do to train them to do so. There are plenty of books and advice on how.

Next is your consistency. It doesn't matter if it is 6 hours, 9 or 5. If your body is consistently (even weekends) on the same schedule... to bed at 11pm and up at 5 am, then your body will adjust to the sleep and it will be enough. You should also be sure you are drinking a gallon of water a day. And also, you work for the city? great, that means you get benefits such as scheduled break times. If you get an hour break, try instead to request a 30 minute lunch and (2) 15 minute breaks or (1) 30 minute break in the afternoon. Or you take the 2nd half of your lunch break and guess what, you sleep! Don't get into all about how you can't really sleep and there is no place. Get into your car if you have to, or ask a friend to borrow theirs for a nap or lock yourself in an office. Even if you don't fall into a "real" sleep, just closing your eyes for 15 mins and shutting down will be extremely re-energizing. You set your cell phone alarm so that you don't go over, and you nap. All of us get tired mid-afternoon b/c it's the time that the brain releases a certain hormone that triggers need for sleep. I forget the exact number, but it's something like 8 hours after you wake up that this hormone is released.

Anyway, good luck and try it all girl. You gotta get your body to feel better or it will adversely affect your health, possibly even long-term. Make it happen- you're single mother, mover and shaker to get it all done so add this to your list. Go girl! N.

Hi V. ... Has your doctor tested your Vitamin B levels? Several years ago, I found out I was deficient, so my doctor started giving me B12 shots, and I take a B12 vitamin every morning. Being deficient can make you extremely tired, among other things. Getting the supplement has helped me tremendously! It might be worth checking out!

Good luck,
-T.

I am not sure how old your children are, but maybe a friend could take them once in a while. I am doing this, and even 2 hours, you are a new person. Or go shoping, even if you can't buy anything. Have the dad help out if possible, maybe an over night. I really feel for you, we have one and I don't know if I could do it alone. I really think be a single mom is truly the hardest thing. Also, see your doctor. The kids should be sleeping and you should be able to. Take care.

I just joined this group and was looking for advice on the local churches in the area (port Monmouth NJ)when I came across your request. I don't know how old your children are but it does get better. As they get older they tend to want to / need to do things independently and when they do you need to take advantage of that time. Forget catching up on the laundry or straightening up their room. Lay down and rest. You'll feel much better. In the mean time if your mom is available to watch the kids for a while on a Saturday, let her and get some sleep. Don't go food shopping of catch up on paperwork or whatever. And don't feel guilty over it!!!!!!!!!!!

You may also want to get Vitamin D levels tested. Many women are deficient, and this can cause extreme tiredness. My sister was deficient so much to the point that she had to take a prescription vitamin D until her levels came up! Good luck and God Bless...

V.,

What I have found through myself and through education is that what you eat both through food and vitamins determines how you feel. I used to feel sluggish in the morning with my old supplements and I thought I was healthy. I switched my vitamins to a different brand and I was literally springing out of bed in the morning ready to start my day and I now wake up just before my alarm clock goes off. Now I feel great and ready to face the day with my three young kids. I find myself staying up a little later at night before I feel tired too.

So my advise is finding time for consistant bed and waking times, eating properly and taking good supplements. You need to do your homework.

Good luck,
Hope you feel as energized as me!
T.
____@____.com

I was pretty much born with insomnia and got through life with barely any sleep but was always tired. About 6 years ago my Mom bought me a magnetic sleep system from Nikken and I've slept well every night since. It took several weeks for my body to get used to it though. What happens is that the body goes into about 4 hours of delta level sleep instead of just the normal 1 hour so even if you don't get a full night's rest or your sleep is interrupted you will still feel far more rested than without it. As a side benefit it works in an anti-aging way. If you have any questions just email me: ____@____.com.

Hi Betty
God bless you with His peace. His word says that He will give His beloved rest. Sounds like you need to claim that verse for yourself. Nowhere in scripture does it say sleep.
The second child does add a new dynamic to the household and I am guessing that is the situation even if you don't say how old the children are.
Please pray that you get some rest.
Make sure you are not facing depression, albeit post partum.
It is alot of responsibility to care for 2 children and it is all on your shoulders.
Praise God for your mom's help.
Talk to her.
God bless you
If you want you can email me.
K. SAHM married 38 years 4 adult children 37 entrepreneur, 32 lawyer who just made us grandparents, and twins 18 who are in college after homeschooling. Yup empty nester.

Dear V.,

I to was a single mother when my son was nineteen months old so I get what you are saying. At that time my ex-husband didn't care to see our son (most of the reason we were divorced) and my mom worked a full time job. I really didn't get any help at all being a mom 24/7 is the hardest job ever. There is noone walking in that door to help take over. I do have guilt because there were days when I would be very irritable and I know probably not the happiest person to be around. I know I was a great mom, I loved my son more then life, and would sacrafice any thing for him, but it did wear me down. I think the best advice I could give is to be easy on yourself, just take each day at a time, and take care of yourself. One thing I wasent was selfish, and sometimes in order to be a good mom we have to take care of ourselves first. When you are in it its all about the kids I know. My son is now 24 and I did remarry later to a wonderful man and we have a daughter together. We are a whole family now, my son calls my husband dad (he raised him) and my ex calls once a year to check in. As I am older I have realized it would have been okay to be a little selfish, take time for myself, learn to say no because you can't do it everything. Working full-time and being mom and dad is hard work. So when your mom comes, jump in bed and take a nap. Stress will wear you down also. Remember a happy mom makes a happy family. Good luck to you and we are all here for you if you need to talk.

if you are able..take a day off from work..take the kids to school..rent a hotel room that has room service..and enjoy the day by sleepin and eatin..

Have your doctor check you for a vitamin deficency, anemia, and cholesterol; if you aren't depressed or an insomnic. If you have trouble sleeping at night try: 1. Soft music, 2. Try to tire yourself out with exercise, 3. Get rid of the caffene in your life.

I totally know exactly where you are coming from!! I too am a mom of 2 small kids. One was 3 when I had a newborn preemies who required alot of my time. My advice? Hire a sitter a relative, and nap 2 hours a day-I swear, my mom came over everyday to take my 3 year old to Nursery school and I woudl schedule the babies nap around that time, and i would nap like it was my job-when my son came home from Nursery school-I was wide awake and refreshed!!!

I think this is such a common thing when you have had kids. Because you have had a lot of broken sleep with having babies etc, then you can lose the "automatic" falling asleep mechanism (and staying asleep) and getting it back can be hard. I have had this same experience.
First of all, check out with your doctor whether there is anything else going on - there are all kinds of hormonal, thyroid etc things which can cause insomnia, plus you need to rule out anxiety or depression.
If there is no physical or psychological cause which could be treated then there are a lot of different things you can try. Herbal or prescription sleeping pills can be helpful to get out of a bad pattern of sleep, plus I have found that using a sleep hypnosis tape is useful.
The most useful thing I have found by far is a book called Overcoming Insomnia by Colin Espie (they have it on amazon). I had tried lots of different things with varying degrees of success, but what this book really made me understand was the way that getting anxious about sleeping and then making a lot of EFFORT to get a good night's sleep is the very thing that causes the sleeplessness. I had spent a lot of time focussing on insomnia and trying to plan ways of sorting it out, so that it became a big focus of my attention and worry. But good sleepers don't have to try at all, and this book is full of ways (it's based on cognitive behavior techniques so backed up by all the research) to get out of TRYING to sleep and allow your natural sleep response to return.
I had had over 8 years of insomnia, and this book has really helped me hugely.
Very best of luck to you - I know what a horrible experience you are having.