Depression Help

I was just where you are three years ago. After many doctor visits I finally found my answer. I was not ready to resort to antidepressants because I just didn't feel like that was right for me. I started seeing Doctor Pati at Sajune medical center in Baldwin park. She ran a blood test and found out that I had an overload of estrogen and way too little progesterone. She started me right away on bioidentical progesterone and within 3 days my life and my mood and my whole family changed.

Hello Carmela,

oh dear, I bet you're not sleeping well either. it can also be things that you're eating... like milk products. I remember when I figured out... just a couple of ounces of milk send me into instant PMS and my poor husband... it didn't matter what he did, he could never win.... I also figured out that when I take acetaminophen, the next day I'm in an awful mood.

there are a few things you can try. some supplements can help omega-3s, avoid dairy, get some probiotics, magnesium, chamomile tea at night to relax you and get a good night sleep. get some lavender oil. it's relaxing and uplifting. I'm recommending also to excercize (although I don't do it as often as I should either....!)

don't listen to the news in the morning nor just before bed time.
put soft music on in the morning. pray a 10 second prayer when you wake up.

start a journal and just start by thanking God for all your blessings....and list your blessings one by one. write how you're feeling. I sort of write a letter to God... asking him why do I feel the way I feel and what should I do. it might sound a bit silly and superficial but it helps a lot. By the way, don't write anything you would not publish in the front page of a news paper. as private as journals are... you never know where they might end up in 20 years...

listen to your favorite music...even if it's just for 2 minutes.

when was the last time you talked w/ your girlfriends? can you make some time.... even if you have to leave the kids at home and go to a mcdonalds and call from there so you can be more relaxed. that can help a lot.

you can also go to a healthfood store and see what they recommend. there are several natural alternatives to Rx that you can try. and if that doesn't help, then definitely talk to your doctor.

keep in mind that it can be environment and/or food related.
God Bless you and help you!

Please try something natural before moving to drugs. I have friends who are addiccted to Xanax. Eleviv has helped me DRAMATICALLY - I can drop a sample in the mail to you if you'd like to try it. You can read all about it at www.eleviv.com.

If that doesn't help you then you may need something stronger, but of course that is something only a doctor would know.

Also, it sounds like you need to really have a heart to heart with your husband - he might not even know how you feel (especially if you only talk about it when you're angry/yelling). Even a little help around the house (assigned tasks) W. make a HUGE difference in your outlook.

Really hope this is helpful.

Carmela, I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. First, let me say that I am, generally speaking, a huge advocate for natural wellness. For example, I gave birth to my son at home with a midwife rather than in a hospital setting, because I believe that my body generally knows what it is doing. That being said, it doesn't mean that I didn't have emergency precautions in place. My midwife has a long line of medical credentials and is the best in the country. She is well connected and respected, and I had the head of the pediatric unit at the local hospital (which was three miles away) on call specifically for my delivery, just in case. I saw a completely supportive OBGYN in conjunction with my midwife, and at the first sign of a complication, my midwife would have changed the plan to a hospital delivery.

I said all that to say this: sometimes our bodies need a little help, and that is okay. If you had H1N1, you would be going to the doctor, right? Depression is a serious illness, too, and should be treated accordingly in many cases. If you notice your persistent low mood, then chances are your children do, too, and that does have an effect on them. If you feel that you might need medical help, then you should seek it. There is no shame in asking for help. I would suggest going to a doctor who specializes in treating depression, though, rather than just visiting a general practitioner. You wouldn't go to an ObGYN for heart problems, you would see a cardiologist; I believe the same rules apply for treating mental health issues. Find someone you feel comfortable with, and see what they recommend. Be an empowered patient, and know that you are in control of your treatment. You have the right to ask your doctor questions and to question his treatments or ask for alternatives. A good doctor will respect this and work with you until you are comfortable. It is entirely possible that talk or behavioral therapy will make you feel better; sometimes it is just nice to feel heard, and I think it is important to figure out the cause of your depression, which is only a symptom of something else.

I wish you the best on whatever path you choose to take. I am not selling anything, so I have no vested interest. As a mother of three, you already spend so much of your time doing for others, so kudos to you for deciding it is time to do something to take care of yourself. Your whole family will be better off for it.

*HUGS* I agree with the other ladies saying to try something natural first, if it truly is depression/anxiety.

From what I understand, fish oil and L-Theanine (sp?) are very good for depression/anxiety as well.

Good luck!

If it is depression, could be caused by several medical reasons, so seeing your doctor and taking their advice on meds would be a good first step. The meds will help to improve your mood and thinking. Then if you still feel that way about your situation, counselling will help to sort out what you should do.
It could be that you need some respite care for the kids and some time to pursue your own interests. That doesn't make you a bad mother, but everyone needs some time to themselves.
I have fought depression since my teens, and had postpartum depression too. The meds help so much. I realize it is a problem with my brain chemistry and the meds regulate that.
Good luck and do not be afraid of the meds. You would treat any other medical condition with meds, so this is no different.

I'm sorry that you're depressed, but I think it's awesome that you haven't done what so many people which is run to the doctor and get medications to deal with it. My advice to you is to do things for others. I know that sounds crazy, but doing things for others, and seeing the joy/excitement on their faces will really boost your self-esteem.
For your husband: make sure the house is super clean, put the kids to bed early, cook him a special dinner, wear something you know he likes, and just cater to him. I guarantee he'll love the special attention, and you'll love the attention he gives you.
I would also suggest voluteering at a food pantry or something similiar. You could even take your kids along with you. That would teach them the importance of helping and caring for others. See, helping other people or just doing things for other people, gets the focus and attention off of ourselves. It puts it on someone else, and we don't have time to think about things that make us feel crappy, sad, etc., because we're busy making someone else's life better.
The fact that just the sight of your husband coming home angers you, tells me that there is something more going on. I don't know what that might be, but I think you should sit down and talk to your husband. Let him know how you're feeling. Try to figure out why you feel like this.
Remember that talking about how you feel is VERY important to your relationship with your husband. Bottling everything up inside is only going to cause you to blow up at some point, or it's going to lead you feeling resentment, bitterness, and anger towards him. You don't want that for him, yourself, your marriage, or your kids. So, first and foremost, talk to him.
And again, I would just like to say that I'm really proud of you for avoiding the doctors and anti-depressants. I know that other women on here will probably, if they haven't already, suggest going to counseling and the doctors. If you do decide to go to a counselor, try to find one that isn't a feminist. I've heard that most counselors these days will put most, if not all, of the blame on the man. This isn't fair. I firmly believe that it takes two to tango. Especially when you're married. You're both in this thing together. I really hope that you can figure out what's causing your depression and that you can beat it. Feel free to send me a message if you want to continue talking about this more. Good luck and God bless.

Sometimes staying at home with 3 children can really get to you, especially if your not getting any "me time". Some ppl. think that a stay at home mom is such an easy job, yeah right. I would definitely see my Family Dr. and get some antidepressents. It sounds like your going stir crazy and in a round room which isn't fair to you. I think the reason seeing your husband angers you is because he's at work, I'm not going to say enjoying himself but your seeing it as him getting out and you resent it. Talk to your Dr. and I'm sure he will fix the problem and you yourself will feel much better. As well try and get some "me time" in with friends. Just going out for a coffee for a half hour truly makes a big difference. I wish you well and good luck!!

you,ve already tried dealing with this on your own and it hasn,t helped much. What are you waiting for to go see a psychiatrist? Depression does not "go away" on it's own, and usually gets worse. Please get some help before this snowballs.

This is only tips but I hope one of thm can help you
1-Try to find something you like to do and do it, like gym, art classes, yoga , university or what ever you like
2-Find a midle time job or something that take you out of your hausekeeping routine
3-Use time doing things that made you proud of yourself
4- Go and help others in a volunteer organization, this takes your own problems out of your head and also help see your problems very small, this is a free anty depression therapy
5- Put your self goals and work towards it
6- Find what is it bothering you about your husband and talk with him
7- Read "how to talk so they can listen and listen so they can talk" to help you with your impatience with children
8- If you can affort it, have a psicologic therapy, it helps a lot
9- Talk openly with your friends about what happens to you! you can´t imagine how friends can help and you will be surprised that you are not the only one who feel like that and moral support from somebody in your place is so important
10- cry a lot to drain your system
11- Try to find the video "the secret" it will show you how to full fill your mind with positive thoughts, it is amazing!!!!!
Good luck!! I wish you the best!! with love......

It sounds like you are ready and a good candidate for the antidepressants. They don't make you feel weird or spacey or anything like that. It's kind of odd, because when I thought about taking these kind of drugs I thought they would make me feel high or something like that. But all it did was make me feel like I used to. Like it just takes away the drag of life, but you don't feel like you're taking anything. Does that make sense?
Also, do you or have you considered amping up your physical activity (other than chasing the kids?!) I feel better after a long fast walk. It gets your blood pumping and allows time for thought at the same time - very healthy for the brain (and I'm not an exercise junkie). Maybe worth a shot?

i promise you it is nutrition- or lack of-
you had 3 babies- and if not careful that takes alot from your body- see WestonPrice.com &/or Dr. Bruce West, if you need more after checking them out send me a message.
YOU ARE NOT SUFFERING FROM A LACK OF antidepressants- really.
Usually essential fatty acids, b vits, sometimes minerals.
Bodies feel bad when nutrition is missing.
YOu can do something about it.
best, k

Have you thought about going to church? Here is the link to mine... there is a lot of love there!

http://www.newtestamentchristianchurches.org/Orlando

You poor thing... life can be so stressful especially with 3 at home.

You are definitely clinically depressed but I'm not sure why you are resisting anti-depressants. Would you avoid taking diabetes medicine?

I can remember a girlfriend whose doctor put her on antidepressants. I asked her if she felt any different. She said no but then she said "Oddly enough though I'm not angry at my husband all the time anymore." I said "is your husband acting better or differently." She said "No."

I would recommend not only taking anti-depressants and working closely with a doctor until you find the one that works for you but also trying to sweetly and kindly ask your husband specifically for the help and assistance you need. Do not ever ever assume that he knows what to do to help but is just a bad guy. You would be shocked to know how little he does understand how to help.

You might want to ask for:
Him to watch the children for 30 minutes an evening (let him pick when) so you can take a walk outside
Him to watch the children for 30 minutes so you can take a nap or sit in the tub (you may need to use ear plugs)
Him to take over a daily chore (for every day) - dishes, bed time stories, bathing the children

And if he agrees don't just expect him to remember. Remind kindly and sweetly and then shower him with hugs and kisses and words of appreciation every every time he does it!!

God bless

My name is Becky, and i live in Alabama, I have a 29 year old daughter that suffer's from depression really bad. March 10th 2010 her husband will deceased 1 year. I got her help she refused it. She said that she did not want to have to deal with drug's to get by. She started going to church and gave her life to Christ. She has good day's and bad day's. But she continues to look to GOD for strength, And she know's that he hears her. I will pray for you that your depression will leave you and your family alone. It seem's like just by your story that you have a wonderful family and that you love them. I am not hounding you, but just seek GOD and ask him to help you. I know he will. all you have to do is trust him. I can't take my daughter's pain away if i could i wouls bear it all so it would leave her alone. i am 50yrs. old and my child is young and she has a son almost 9yrs. old. all i can do is pray for her.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I don't know if you have some close friends or a support system of some sort but I think it is really important. I don't know where I would be today without my wonderful Mom's Group. We support each other, help each other, offer advice. And I've made some great friends that I know will stick even though my kids are getting older and don't need a playgroup as much anymore. Maybe there is something in your area? Try meetup.com or yahoo.com. I also find it really helpful to get out of the house with friends a couple nights a month if possible. We go to the movies, dinner, to someone's home, I've even played Bunco. Those nights make me feel like I am still my own person and not just someone's Mom. I also know that I feel better when I am eating right and exercising, it makes me feel like I am taking care of myself. Anyway, all that being said, if you are truly depressed then maybe these type of fixes aren't enough. I come from a family of people who've been on anti-depressants at different times in their lives and I do believe they serve a purpose. Perhaps you can discuss your medication concerns with your Doctor and maybe you can start on a low dose. I wish you luck, you deserve to be happy and your kids deserve a happy Mom!

Don't feel like you are "failing" if you decide to talk to your doctor about meds. I'm all for natural stuff, but sometimes it's just not realistic. Be realistic and talk to your doc asap. You're right, you dont have to live like that and its NOT living.
O. small bit of advice re: husband. Give him specific things to do to help you out. Maybe if he can start doing bath/jammies duty, you can grab 45 mins to re-group and relax--know what I mean? I have said it before on here and I will say it again--if you are waiting around for your hubby to "realize" what you need him to do--FORGET IT! LOL They don't get subtle and generally do better if they know and are told exactly what you need them to do! Good luck!

Been there. Welbutrin AND Zoloft. They each raise levels of your various different feel-good hormones. Don't resist it any longer.

Looking back, I wish I had done it sooner. You'll be much happier. The kids and your husband will reap the many benefits as well.

Have you tried therapy? I'm not being sarcastic or anything, but it can be a great release of pent up feelings. Medication can also help tremendously. My husband is chronically depressed, and finally got on medication 3 years ago. NIGHT AND DAY difference! He noticed it within an hour of taking the medication. We're both huge advocates of getting the help you need, when you need it. You're not a failure for asking for help when it's needed, and it sounds like you do need it now. Best wishes.

Hi Carmela,
Here is a resource for you: http://www.bobsfiles.net
There are audios there you can listen to about depression and other health issues.
If you decide you want to try natural supplements, let me know.
Good luck and God bless.
Victoria

Motherhood! I think what you are feeling is so typical. Yes, it makes sense about your husband. He may be a great guy and provider, but you may feel abandoned when it comes to the house and kids. You probably feel overwhelmed by the never ending tasks. Have you ever heard the old saying, "A man's work is from dawn until dusk, but a woman's work is NEVER done." Hello? Does that sound familiar?

If your husband is a wonderful person, however, he will sit down with you and talk so that together you can figure out some solutions.

1) Can you afford to hire some help? A housekeeper? A babysitter....even just one day a week?
2) What can he help with?
Bathing the kids?
Making the salad and vegetable at dinner while you make the main course?
Taking the kids to school in the morning?
Putting the kids, or one kid to bed?
Washing the dinner dishes?
Unloading the dishwasher in the morning?
EVEN ONE THING IS A HELP!
3) Do you have friends that you can trade babysitting with so that there is no "cost" involved?
4) A little marriage counseling?

As far as medication. I am very much into natural wellness. In fact I sell two very good mind and spirt products, including a stress reliever and a St. Johns Wort. I think they are great, but I gotta tell ya I think prescription meds are great too. Everyone is different and you gotta do what's best for you and your family. So I would strongly encourage you to try something! With a couple of small changes around the house, and a natural or prescription remedy you could be feeling 100 times better in no time! Why not feel better? Right now you, and probably your whole family, are miserable. Is medication any scarier than that? AND, just because you take something does not mean you will have to continue for very long. maybe just one year to get yourself in a better place, then try going off.

Getting the anger and resentment out of your life will be great!

Hang in there M.! We’ve all been there. Here are some things that have helped me get through some of the same, frustrating, icky feelings.
1. Yoga has been an incredible release for me. It is my time to relax and start over. I feel like I get a restart every time I go and I look forward to it. Check out www.corepoweryoga.com They have a work for trade program where you can clean the studio once a week for a couple hours in exchange for free, unlimited yoga.
2. Anti-depressants can help in the short-term to help you get back up on your feet, or long-term if you need them to maintain balance and stability in your life. Millions of people are on medications, so try to have judgment on yourself.
3. An alternative treatment for depression and anxiety is an herbal supplement called Luminex. Do some research and look into it further. I just ordered it for myself to try out this month because I have heard great things from people that have used it. It contains natural ingredients including St Johns Wart, griffonia seed, folate, and vitamin B12 that help with depression and anxiety. Let me know if you are interested or have any questions.

Dear Carmela,

I've been there, I don't want to scare you but you might be bi-polar. My doctor had me fill out a questionaire, and that's how he was able to help me. There is too much at stake for you to fear antidepressants, but the possible side effects are so freightning that I switched to St. John's wart. It takes Longer but works without the side effects.
God bless you and yours, D. P.

Interested in trying natural? Kava Kava, B complex, fish oil, GABA are a few. Probiotics are good for everything! Watch the carbs! They will affect your moods. Try to find a naturpath or someone knowledgable in natural health.
Good luck and God bless

Carmela,
I sympathize with you ,been there myself a time or two. I can't give you any specific advice,based on what you've said ,because it wasn't very specific. What has you so upset, ..., you probably need to really identify what is causing so much turmoil within you. I say that because you can't begin to fix "it' until you realize what "it' is. I'm guessing maybe hubby isn't helping out enough, maybe doesn't discipline the kids ,...leaving you feeling overwhelmed, dumped on, neglected ,etc. Let's face it, raising kids
and running a household is one of the hardest jobs in the world. It's like running the country, only difference is the President even has a CABINET to help out and he does get a paycheck for heaven's sake.
Once you've put your finger on the issues that bother you , take control of how you react to them. That is easier said than done sometimes, but, you have to learn to step back, take a few deep breaths and tackle things ,one thing at a time. Take some time for yourself everyday, also easier said than done, but, you owe it to yourself and your family. You'll be a much happier person for it. You gotta be important to you. Even if it's 15 minutes of peace and quiet in the middle of the day, soaking in the tub after the kids are in bed, etc. I like working in the yard and gardening, it's therapeutic for me. Work on a hobby you;'ve long since given up or start a new one.
Figure out what your priorities are and work towards them. We all forget we have choices about alot of things , just keep in mind today's decisions effect tomorrow's outcomes. You can't be supermom everyday and have your sanity, (trust me , I've tried) do what you can do, and don't stress about the rest. Learn to say ,'NO' to things you know you don't have time for, (you're not any less of a person for it) and enjoy the things you do make time for.
Not sure what your situation is with your husband so I feel a little out of place giving advice about that, But, if you want to eloborate ,.....

You don't really want to get on something like Xanax ,,,,,,,,,,(it's highly addictive,... ) there are other meds that can help,.... Maybe you can research some mental health providers in your area, talk to a pastor , or even try a support group. Sometimes it just helps to let an outsider listen and give you feedback from a different perspective. Just know your not alone in all this, ..., and as corny as it may sound, prayer can help.

I truly wish you the best , feel free to contact me if I can help in some way.

C. S.

I TOTALLY understand.........I deal with this myself on many an occasion. (sometimes for weeks at a time) I've been on medications in the past. The most difficult part is finding the right drug and combination for you. I've always been a little prone to depression at different times of the year... the added stress of having a baby.........lack of sleep, etc... makes it worse. (plus the economy and all of the 'doom and gloom' on the news, etc...)

If you really don't want medication, you may want to try lots of Vitamin B and D. Exercise really helps me. (get out all of my frustration) And- sometimes I need a good dose of sunshine. I never go outside and it can be depressing.. sometimes I go to the tanning booth for five minutes once or twice a year....... I just need that vitamin D... my body doesn't produce it naturally.

Also- you need some 'me time.' When I am feeling like I just can't take it anymore.........I spend some time by myself getting a pedicure or shopping, etc... a girl's night out......etc....... Happy wife, happy life...........Happy Mom, Happy Family. You not only deserve it, you need it. If money is the problem, you may be able to find a Mom to trade days with..........(barter babysitting) Or- Dad gets the kids on Saturday or Sunday while you go out... let him know what it's like to manage everything.

If you know it's depression why would you want something for anxiety? Xanax is a VERy addictive drug and getting addicted to it to bring up a whole new monster! Please go the dr and get some real help for depression before you lose your family.

i sufferd from postpartum depression twice with both my younger boys. and im still not over it. I know it seems hard at times and you wish you could just quit but if i was you i would try to talk to my doc. its not as imbarrising as you might thank it is. after my doc put me on some medicine for mine i never felt so much better and i could look at everything with a clear head. everything will get much better trust me and eventually you wont have to take anything for it. Lots of prayers!!!

Don't know your location; but look up Family Services, Mental Health Department...the "Free Clinics".. Some communication with another adult will help alleviate your stress. If you love your husband and he loves you, then you are going to work at finding that common ground again.
Also, check out Holistic Health remedies. A practitioner will help you; but they are expensive and not covered by most health insurance policies.
Blessings, S.

Carmela,

Go to your doctor sweetie, and be open to trying a few things (cause the first thing doctors try is not always right).

It seems unfair, as a woman our bio clocks are ticking so loud in our early 20's so we grab a man....ignore all the signs that he is not compatible...plow our way to a house in suburbia, a marriage, debt, and a few kids....and not necessarily that order...LOL

It sounds as though you are going through a change emotionally and cognitively. We go through different stages throughout our lives of understanding and perceiving our environment. As our knowledge expands we have to adjust our perceptions, preferences and beliefs.

Sometimes we construct a world around us thinking nothing is going to change in the future. This is an illusion because all there is in life is CHANGE. Right now you are frustrated because you are living in an environment that was created from the things you wanted in the past, yet it has not lived up to your expectations, or you have outgrown this stage.

You have a lot of decisions to make, but keep one thing in mind....YOUR KIDS are the most important. Smile even if you don't feel like it sometimes and shield them from any negative aspects of your life. I understand the reluctance to get help from the medical industry and becoming another pill addicted soccer mom. You don't have to do that....use it as a temporary fix to something that has gotten out of control(your emotions/moods). You need an anti-anxiety or a mood stabilizer maybe, just to calm you down enough to get your emotions under control for your children's sake. You do not have to take high doses and if the meds make you feel like you can't function try something else because everybody is different.

If you can, once you can calm down, you can research your issues further and find out if it stems from a hormone imbalance(3 kids can have a huge affect on our hormones) or past/current life problems....etc... If you feel out of control go see a therapist (even if you have medicaid you can get this service). Just because you take the meds and/or get therapy plenty of people get help for a few years then they get back to leading full healthier lives...without pills or therapy.

Your intuition is spot on.....it is not fair for any of you to be living like that. TRUST your instincts and don't be afraid to ask for help. You are in full control and our thoughts create our future so do everything you can to make them happy thoughts. You do not have to live your life like others people or at their speed. Give yourself credit for what you do accomplish, even if your day is spent making yourself smile and spending 10 mins at a quiet local park sitting on the grass with your kids and talking.

Good luck to you and your family. Calm the noise in your mind and seek the quiet....there you will find all the answers.

A.
Leximarket.com

Suppressing your feelings with drugs (prescribed or otherwise) is just a temporary escape, not a solution. You need some genuine counseling and guidance on addressing your feelings and taking steps to improve your relationships and family life. Seeing a regular doctor wouldn't do anything to address the real issues - doctors make money off of having you become drug dependent, that's not in your best interest. Some form of psychospiritual guidance and support would be more constructive.

We are not all cut out to be ft SAHMs. I recently went back to work permanent parttime and I fel I have a much better balance. It is tough being home all the time, esp once you have more than one child. I admire moms who have unlimited patience, but I think most of us are not that way.
Xanax you need to be really careful about!! It is highly overused and abused. An actual antidepressant, seratonin reuptake inhibitor or mood elivator would be much more helpful. If you can join a gym with childcare (like Shapes) that would be a great outlet for you too. The exercise will improve your mood and it gives you and your children a little break from each other. Also think about the things that make you happy and incorporate it more, weather it be getting outside with nature by taking the kids to the park, reading, yoga, the movies. Make some time for you. You should be able to express to your hubby your need for some me time. All marriages aren't perfect but it sounds like you have a good family life. Try to find ways to reconnect with hubby. Realize you may just be feeling a little jealous that he gets out of the house more. Let him know you need him to express affection so you feel appreicaited. I hope that helps. Good luck to you. It sounds like a good physician is the place to start for the meds. A counsellor with a Masters in social work can be an invaluable tool to better understand and help your curtrent situtaion.

Like many of the other moms that have responded, I've also dealt with depression off and on for several years.
Here is what I have learned from my struggles:
1) Its not your fault. You aren't a bad mother nor are you a failure. You have something that you are struggling to deal with and it takes a lot of time to dig out of.
2)Whether you choose to take prescription meds or go the natural route, be patient. It takes time, usually a month or two before you will notice a real difference. A lot of medications, natural or prescription, need to build up in your blood before they really start making a major difference. Don't stop taking them unless you have some really awful side effects.

I've taken both Prozac and Zoloft and while both have worked for me, Zoloft has worked the best. I do have problems coming off Zoloft, especially in the first weeks, but it gets better.

3) Make sure you are getting enough B vitamins. Women respond really well to extra B vitamins and that can make a big difference in how much energy you have and how you feel.
4) Talk to your husband about things he can do to help lighten your load. A lot of the other moms had good suggestions, so I won't repeat those.
5) Consider seeing a counselor or a therapist. Its kind of scary at first to have to admit that you need to see a therapist, but it also can provide a safe place to talk and to get help from someone who can be objective and isn't going to take sides.
6) Make time for yourself. Have your husband or a close friend that you trust watch the kids while you go take a walk or go get an ice cream. Do this weekly, at least for an hour. Or get together with some close friends and go have fun for a little while. Do a pot-luck dinner and have everyone bring something to a friend's house so you can get out of yours for a while.

These are things that I am doing or have done in the past and they have been extremely helpful. I still take one night off a week for at least an hour and on the last Wednesday night of every month, I get together with 10-20 other women for a pot-luck dinner and we have an absolute blast. Best night of the month for me.

Hang in there.