Depression and Weight Gain for 2Nd Pregnancy

First of all it is normal for your belly to show earlier with each pregnancy. I have 3 children and it did show much earlier with my 2nd, a son. Luckily those big style shirts were in style and I was able to just get mediums and larges at Target and conceal it a bit longer. LOL But truthfully even with showing sooner, I didn't gain an over abundance of weight ~ only about 25 - 30 lbs. Especially if you are so active I wouldn't be that concerned about the weight gain or with what you are craving.

Secondly, a second baby is a HUGE change and you have every right, even if the baby was planned to be feeling the way you are. Your feelings are perfectly normal. With my third, my princess, I became pregnant sooner then I had wanted and I was stressing out and felt depressed for much of the pregnancy. My husband tried to be supportive and told me to stay positive, but it was hard. It was actually my mother-in-law who helped. She expressed her feelings when she was unexpectedly pregnant with my husband. He was also unplanned and she said she was depressed and worrying about all the changes till about the time she felt him moving and kicking alot and then for the most part she was at ease. It took me a bit longer to be able to let go of some of those feelings, but worrying about the future is common. Now I know my situation is a bit different being a not planned at the moment pregnancy, but the feelings were the same.

I just wanted to let you know your feelings are normal and hormonal. Congratulations also and if you need to talk just send me a message. I wouldn't be concerned unless your feelings worsen or linger after the birth of the baby.

First of all, you show earlier with your 2nd pregnancy. Your stomach muscles have already been stretched...so it just happens. If your worried about not having as much love for the 2nd, please dont. I know that was one of my concerns. It is crazy to think you could love another child as much as you love your first...but it comes.
As far as eating and exercising...maybe go on walks, instead of running...and top that bagel with some jam...or eat it with a side of fruit.

What side of the state are you on?

Near Grand Rapids there is a coalition of professionals who are getting together to help moms both pre and post partum with mood disorders.

It is common to have depression while you are pregnant, just no one ever talks about it. Talk to your doc, find a support group, hire a postpartum doula to help you with the transition after the new baby is born.

as for your body- I remember 'showing' much faster with my second baby- your muscles act like they have this memory and go right to pregnancy stance! With my first I wasn't in mat. clothes until 16-18wks, with my second it was more like 6-8!

I know exactly how you feel!! I'm on my third pregnancy and this time around I'm having a really hard time getting excited. My doctor said it is not uncommon. If you feel comfortable talking to your doc about this I highly recommend it. Mine made me feel a lot better about this whole thing.
As far as your husband goes I think it is a male insensitivity thing. Almost word for word my husband said the same to me. He said I should be able to decide to be happy. Needless to say I was ready to do him great bodily harm. Even after I told him that the doctor said that it was depression and I can't just decide to always be happy he looked at me like I was lacking all intellegence. Anyway now I just try to ignore my husband lack of understandings and I only talk to other woman about how I'm feeling. You'll find women much more helpful.
The wanting only unhealthy food is a symptom I have as well. My best advice for that is to remember the healthier you eat the better you will feel. I had to only buy healthy food and got rid of everything in the house that I shouldn't be eating. That way I only ate desert and such when I went out, which isn't often with a 3 and 14 month old. That made it much easier.
Also getting out of the house regularly and staying busy with other things beside children is a must. I feel much worse when I'm stuck at home with my kids and my husband calls and says it will be another 12 hour day and to go ahead and eat by myself and put the kids to bed... but I'm getting carried away on myself.
Try not to get to stuck on the weight gain. Since this is your second pregnancy your body already knows what to do and is simply doing it sooner than last time.
Please remember you are not alone and find some one who wont judge to talk to regularly. If you want feel free to contact me I'd be happy to talk out more. Good luck and your in my prayers.
K.

Dear E.

Be positive and just avoid those food. Think my baby doesn't like it. Eat the fruits first so you are full.I am sure you will overcome it. All the best dear.

Love C.

Sendings lots of hugs! My 2nd pregnancy was radically different, I was much more depressed and on top of it I got gestational diabetes so I felt tired and crappy the whole time. My first pregnancy with my daughter was total bliss! I slept, ate, rested as much as I needed, watched movies about babies, contemplated my navel LOL! My second one was so much harder. I was depressed, overtired, I yelled at my daughter who was 2 at the time wayyyy too much. She never wanted to take a nap when I wanted to! I was an emotional mess, too. My husband was the same way as yours, telling me to just be happy, and he often reminded me (sometimes not so gently) how much I had wanted to get pregnant again. A lot of people told me all different reasons for my different experience -- different gender baby (it was a boy), weight loss/weight gain (I actually weighed much less the second time), different hormones. Whatever the reason, it was tough, but I just focused on the prize at the end. As long as you're taking your prenatals don't worry so much about your diet, the baby always gets what they need. You might need more B vitamins for energy and emotionaly support. Pamper yourself as much as you can, lean on your husband, take lots of time for yourself. Life won't change as much as it did the first time, either. You're already used to sleep deprivation, and it will amaze you how much your first loves the new baby. That has made it all worthwhile. My son is now almost 11 months old, and although I've asked myself a hundred times in the last year WHY did I think getting pregnant so soon was a GOOD idea????? It's still all worth it when I get cuddles from my boy, and watch him and his sister play together. You'll be so busy chasing both after #2 is born, it'll be easier to take off the extra weight, too. Be good to yourself, it'll be over before you know it!

awww Hugs Momma.

Changes are always hard to deal with.

At 8weeks what you a likely experiencing with your little belly is Intestinal distension (I think that's what it is!) Or in other words...Bloating. That will go down after a couple of weeks before the "real" growth begins. Right now your uterus wouldn't even be clearing your pubic bone.

I was kind of depressed at the end of my 2nd pregnancy because I couldnt imagine loving another child as I do my first one. But it just happens. and its wonderful, Yes life changes I think more so with the second than the first but after a little bit of time things will seem like they have always been that way. As for the weight gain don't go over board but enjoy the food that you love (in moderation) and eat your veggies and fruit too.

Hello
I had my second baby about 15 mths ago.
I felt like what you are explaining.
I really had to shake myself out of it. Eat the right foods and rest.
I would tell myself the following, whenever I was feeling depressed.
You are blessed with another child.
Be grateful for the child.
I would be happier.
In my case, bed rest restriction was the hardest.
Weight gaining and losing is not important
as the health of yourself and baby.
Congrats the your family and be safe/

Hi E.,
Sweetie, this isn't normal and sounds like the beginning stages of Post Partum Depression - Yes...it can occur during pregnancy; despite what many think. I have two children and had a terrible bout of Post Partum Depression with my second child..my daughter. I didn't have a bit of this during my first pregnancy. I denied my "emotions" and told my self to be strong, fight harder, move on etc...it did not help my situation. For me I went into full blown psychosis after I delivered. Please know I'm not trying to scare you...only trying to make you aware of possibilities and lend support. I'm short on time now, but will gladly share more information with you later today if you'd like. I know a fabulous Doctor that specializes in this stuff..his first practice was OB/Gyn and now he's an active Psychiatrist specializing in PPD. He knows his stuff better than anyone. If anything..it may do you well to consult with him. Perhaps he can put your mind at ease OR lend his expertise if deemed necessary. Hang in there E.. Send me a private message if you'd like further info.

Thanks!
M. M.

I just had our first but am planning a second one in 2 years. I do know that you tend to show earlier with the second one though because it's like your body remembers the last pregnancy and knows what it is suppose to do so things tend to happen a little sooner. It really does sound like just normal hormones though, even though it didn't happen with your first one, every pregnancy is different. Plus you have the added stress of raising the first one while you're pregnant this time.

E.,
This sounds perfectly normal to me…only because I felt many of the same emotions. I am currently 8 months pregnant (due in Oct) and have a 2 year old at home. We were not preventing, nor were we trying for a second baby. From the minute I found out that I was pregnant I was VERY unsure about it. Mind you, I don't think I could have been a happier person during my entire 1st pregnancy. I had thoughts like, how am I going to get two kids out to daycare in the mornings? When will I ever sleep again (my 2 year old doesn't always sleep thru the night and then adding an infant into the mix)? How am I going to deal with two sick kids in the winter and maintain a full time job? (my husband is AWESOME by the way and SUPER helpful, but not the mom) My body remembered all too quickly what it was like to be pregnant too. Not that I got that big with my first, but with my 2nd I felt like I had to start wearing bigger clothes 5 mins after I had the test results. Even now, my stomach seems quite a bit bigger than it did when I was 31 weeks with my first. Doc says I am measuring right on, but my largest maternity shirts from last time are shrinking on me or have already been tossed aside!! I felt a lot of stress, anger (not at being pregnant so much, just angry), unhappiness, VERY impatient with my 2 year old for my entire first trimester I would say. I mentioned it to my doctor and she said "oh yeah, that's all normal" which I wasn't sure I agreed with. I think it was right about the start of my 2nd trimester where I regained a whole lot of energy and just felt better all around. I'm down to 9 weeks left and I am feeling none of the negative emotions I was at the beginning. I'm very much looking forward to having the second baby and it's hard to believe it's so close after feeling like it took forever to get here. I still have a lot of the same worries of course, but they are not bringing me down like they were before.

I have found that being pregnant without any children was WAY easier than when you do have a little one running around. You just don't have the same energy to play and carry them like you use to. They don't understand that you are tired or that your back is killing you. I'm looking forward to getting my weight/body back and feeling like my old self once again. And to wear normal clothes again….ah. But hopefully your feelings will turn around as mine did.

Good luck to you and your little one on the way!

Hang in there sweetie...we're just trying to get pregnant with our 2nd and even though I want another baby so bad...it freaks me out sometimes. If you're really feeling depressed, I would talk to your doctor...not only do babies take your oxygen but they mess with your hormones--he might have suggestions.

I know it's hard, but try not to dwell on your weight gain and changing body...they say with each pregnancy you show faster. I had 1 friend who didn't fit in any of her pants and that's how she knew she was pregnant...she hadn't even missed her period yet. Apparantly having that first kid ruins our abs so we can't hold in that ever growing uterus as well after going through it once...on the other hand, our bodies are much more resiliant and you might be able to walk or even jog throughout this pregnancy if you couldn't last time (i'm hoping for that).

Try sneaking in fruits on the foods that sound good to you...make homemade fruit salsa to go with your chips...use a vegetable dip with them and maybe an all natural fruit spread on that bagel--every little bit helps. I hope things get easier for you...

Hi E.,
1st of all congrat!! I had the same experience. I had major depression with my second. It't very hard when your s/0 doesn't understand. My hubby even told me "Your'e too blessed to be depressed". All I could do is cry. Talk to your doc and friends -it will get better! My 1st was a girl, my 2nd was a boy and my 3rd was a girl, but the only one I had a problem with was #2. I think the hormones are different or something.
Pamper yourself as much as possible and try to eat those fruits and veggies- it will help you to know that you are taking good care of yourself. good luck
Jackie

Hey girl,
It is completely normal in the first trimester to have some depression. I also know that is is hard with a 2 year old and a very busy hubby to be pregnant 2nd time around as I have both as well. You only have a few more weeks before it would probably be safe to tell your family and that would relieve some of the stress of hiding it and allow you to enjoy it more.
Be sure to talk to your Dr. about your depression when you go in so he can keep an eye on you or prescribe something to get you through it if necessary.
C.

E.--
First, if you feel like your depression is something you cannot control, you need to speak with a doctor immediately! Depression is a chemical imbalance and nothing to play with especially during and after pregnancy. As for weight gain, you need to be focusing on having a healthy baby and realize that with some pregnancies, you may have to gain more than the ideal weight. Realize that all of the sadness and worry you are feeling is being passed on to your baby who has no choice in this. So, I don't know how spiritual you are, but you should pray and ask God for guidance and pray that you have a happy and healthy baby. By the way, I know it is hard but try not to focus on the husband being busy as long as you know that he would spend more time if he had it. This is time to focus on you and doing whatever it takes to make YOU happy. Try joining a class or club of other pregnant moms or a support group. Remember, go to a doctor about the depression and focus on YOU! Read Joel Osteen's book, "Your Best Life Now."

Hi E.~
It sounds like you are telling my story! I think it could go both ways. It could be COMPLETELY normal, you'll have to judge based on your mood history. Addressing the 'showing' situation first, is there a reason you aren't telling yet? I understand why some women wait, but if you are showing it may cause you more stress to hide it than to just celebrate it. I had a terrible time with weight gain and it bothered me my whole pregnancy. After delivery I found out that I had an abnormally large amount of amniotic fluid and there was nothing I could do about it...so I stressed for nothing! On to the depression...with your first baby you have visions of bliss and a perfect life w/baby! With the second, you remember very vividly how hard it is to have a newborn and now you are picturing all that with a toddler in tow! Who wouldn't be worried? I am still reeling from the chaos of having 2 young children. But I promise you, it gets better every day! You will start to feel better physically and that will do wonders for your mood. The first pregnancy is all about you...the second is just life, only harder! That said, mention to your doctor that you feel blue. PPD knocked me for a loop after my last baby, I never saw it coming. At least you and your doc will be able to address your mood throughout your pregnancy and keep it in check. If it does progress, it will already be out in the open and you won't have to go through the agony of being afraid to tell anybody. Feel free to message me b/c I remember feeling exactly the same way! You'll get through this, normal or not, just keep your doc in the loop and give yourself a break...you're building a human in there!! :)
~L.

So I just had my second a month ago and I just wanted to tell you that I fely the same way that you did. I also wanted another child and then throughout my whole pregnancy I had mjor anxiety about how this was going to change everything and did we make the right decision. Plus I too was a little depressed in my first trimester luckily that went away. So 2 things one the more I sopke to my friends about this the more they said they had the same feelings and worries about a second, and the other is now that she is here I can't imagine her not being in our life. I too told my husband when I had these feelings and he sounded alot like yours. I just don't think they get it, but like I said all the women i spoke to have felt the same way. So as hard as it is just know these feelings eventually will go away. Just try and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and the rest of the time with your first.
good luck
M. b