Depressed Mom

Oh, sweetie, how wonderful that you reached out to this group of Moms! Good for you!! Do you have support? Close friends or family who can help you with things? Are you eating NO sugar and lots of veggies, fruits, whole grains and lean meats? Are you exercising for at least 30 minutes every day? If you wnat someone to talk to, call or email me... Are you working with good professionals, too? Good luck! You will overcome it!!

I have a WONDERFUL therapist. She is also a M. of a 3 year old- she only does therapy 2 nights a week. I have been seeing her for about 6 months and she has helped me so much. Her name is Amy...and she is in Lakeview. It is about a 25 minute drive for me, but it is worth it. Email me if you want her contact info.

Hi E.,
I suffer from mild depression and for the longest time I didn't want to go on any type of meds for it. Just recently, about 4 months ago, I went on Pristiq. I found it actually helped me sleep better and really made that whole overwhelming feeling disappear. It's not perfect, nothing is, but I definitely see a difference.
I saw a psychologist for about 6 years before going on the medication...it was more to deal with other issues and some anxiety...but thru it the mild depression was discovered. It really helps to speak with someone outside of family and coworkers, etc so I would recommend that. I am not one who just takes medication so my thought is the more you're on the worse things may be and it's difficult to know what's really working and what isn't. I would first try cutting everything out except for the antidepressent and see how that's working on it's own...maybe you don't have the right one or maybe it's not the correct amount. Your doctor should help you thru this, so I would speak with him or her first. It's difficult to raise a child and work full time all on your own. I am married however my husband travels so I am basically a single mom during the week...I think the most important lesson I've learned is that you can't do it all and sometimes you just have to say, it's good enough...it won't be perfect all of the time. Good luck and let me know if you have any questions...I can give you referrals for psychologists or even a doctor...when I approached mine about taking meds he sat and spoke with me...I found him to be extremely helpful/thoughtful and he spent the time to discuss things which can be rare nowadays with some doctors. Good luck! L.

Goodmorning E.,
Try to think of five things that you are thankful for everyday, and write them in your journal. Also, look at your nearby church or synagogue. I believe that all things get better with time. Make sure you take the time to pamper yourself, and spend time with the kids. It takes time, but it will get better...just believe and everything will fall into place.

All the Best!

You do have options
Go see Dr Zeiger in Chicago at Healthnetworks.

He will treat you ALL Naturally, if you have BCBS insurance it isn't terribly expensive. He saved my world from crashing down on me.

Have you seeked help from a psychologist to help you cope of your depression?

I've suffered from mild depression and at times severe depression throughout my life. I don't believe in medication and I've found that finding the root of the problem has helped me cope with it.

I'm not sure if you believe in God, but for me, believing that God will take care of things that are out of my control and that I'm ok the way I am now has helped me tremendously.

My biggest source for depression is feeling that I'm not living up to my expectations, which are very irrational and based on what I see around me. For example: I may be depressed if I don't have the social life others have, or if I'm not the perfect mom I should be. It was until I accepted myself to be ok with what I am and what I have accomplished when started feeling better.

It is a day to day battle but I'm much better than I was 10 years ago. There are days when I have to force myself to move around or do things even when I'm feeling a great sense of sadness so I need to focus on just getting to the end of the day.

Another thing that helped me was focusing on the moment and forgetting about what would happen tomorrow. There are times I have to on just one hour at a time.

Hope this helps.. :-)

Hi E.,
Sorry to hear that your depressed. Do you know why you are depressed? Is it hormonal, did something happen to you are you in a funk with your life? I know with me it was a fight I had with my sister. It effected me so bad I had to go on medication because she wouldnt talk to me. I decided I needed to do something for myself. I realized I cant be responsible for other peoples actions. I started to exercise and do yoga to relax me. I talked to my husband and I needed some "me" time. I would feel better and make fun dates with my daughter. Soon I went off meds and now and then when Ido get anxious again I go back to my exercise and yoga. I rely on AM/Pm yoga and take extra magnesium daily. Magnesium relaxes you and makes you feel better. If you dont feel better maybe switch doctors or try natural medicine. Some doctors are too quick to give out Xanex. They gave it to me for menstral cramps! I hope this helps. P.s have your Thyroid checked as a thyroid condition can cause anxiety and drpression.

I am going through the same thing right now as well. It has taken about 3 months to get the correct combination but I must say I feel wonderful! I also have MS and Fibromyalgia which has complicated everything. Trust me stick with the meds, but really track how you feel. I made a journal at the end of every day about how my day was, what transpired, everything and gave it to my dr. That was what helped him get me on the right meds. Don't give up. It might take a few months but you will feel so much better!! Hang in there, be honest with yourself and your doctor.
Barb R.

Hi E.,

Please know that medication alone will not heal you with depression. I hope you are seeing a psychologist to figure out what got to this low point. Your profile says you work fulltime - does your employer have an "Employee Assistance Program" or similar short term help? If you belong to a church they may have a support group or counseling that could help you.

Another important part of dealing with depression is taking care of yourself physically. You should reevaluate your eating habits and whether or not you are getting enough exercise. You would be amazed by how good a half hour walk can make you feel, physically and mentally.

Kids are very perseptive & can feel your moods even when you think you are hiding them. I don't know how old they are, but you need to tell them that mommy is a little sad & that it has nothing to do with them. Make sure to tell them how much you love them & that they are not the cause for you being sad. Give them hugs & kisses as often as you can. As far as what you need to do for yourself, you need to seek some therapy as soon as possible. This will not go away on it's own. Medication is one step, talking to a therapist is the other step.

I am sorry to hear you are suffering with insomnia and depression. I wonder if you are in any kind of therapy so you have an outlet for your feelings? I think this is really important as well as medication.

Are you just generally depressed or is it prenatal or post-partum? I had pre-natal and it ended at 16 weeks thank God.

Have you tried therapy? Try going out and having a good time with friends, or talking to someone... Studies have shown that just spending time talking with someonme you trust or working out (becauase of endorphins it sends to your brain to make you energized and happy) can have the same results as some anti-depressant drugs.

You're over medicated. Get off the xanax. The sleep med and antidepressant will get you thru and not leave you feeling numb. I was on all 3 and cutting out the xanax did it for me. Your job is not an easy one with the kids and no man there to help you most of the time. When he is home, he needs to take over the parenting and give you personal time to shop, relax, visit a friend, etc. Your life will start have some normalcy and you'll feel like a new person.

Next Sunday April 26th the Garrett Wellness Center at 3020 W. Kimball Chicago 60618 is hosting a free EFT seminar from 2 to 4pm. EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques was developed by a psychologist to help people feel relief in minutes. It is a skill you can develop as you practice it. It is very effective to relieve insomnia and achieve & maintain emotional balance. It has changed my life & so many others. I have even taught my children how to use it.

Make sure your thyroid function has been tested. Low thyroid output can cause these same symptoms. If you are not feeling better try a different doctor. You may have to switch around medications to find the one(s) that work best for you. If you are not getting some kind of counseling from a therapist please start! You need support and someone that can help you get thru the overwhelming process of finding the proper diagnosis and treatment. I know a lot of responders have said: "over-medicated" I don't think that is necessarily true. The proper pharmacological approach could be essential for you - it's just really difficult (under the best of circumstances) to find that "right" answer. These are not the best circumstances for you so, again, I urge you to get help. It could be a licensed social worker or psycologist. Since you work try to find someone nearby that you could see at lunch or right b.f. or after work. GOod luck and don't give up!!

I am so sorry you are going through this,
I wanted to add one thing, have your doctor check your Progesterone level, low Progesteron after childbirth and in pre-, peri- menopausal years causes alot of symptoms you have including depression, tiredness, insomnia. There are bioidentical creams available.
Personal advice: if it seems like too much - get help, get a sitter, get out and exersise, do not eat too much carbs and meat they make you sleepy. Try regular bedtimes going to bed befire 10 pm and waking up before 6 (the best schedule for our internal clocks).
Good luck, and best wishes!

I totally understand where you are at. I've suffered from depression for a while. You are best off getting into counseling... you may even want to consider family counseling to help your kids understand what is going on in the family, and that it is not their fault. My daughter (12 years) also is battlling depression, so I know what you mean about the kids. Good luck. I would like to hear from you...

E., I'm very sorry to hear how badly you are feeling and I just want to send my compassion and support. I have been deeply depressed in my life and with a small child; it is really really hard. I think you got many good responses and there is much to think about in all that. Do know that meds are complicated and you may not be on the right mix yet. Also, you need someone to talk to no matter what, whether the cause of your depression is post natal or other issues. Hopefully you have some friends and/or a therapist of support group. If you like, feel free to contact me via email...don't be afraid to reach out.

Hi E.,

You don't say much about yourself, age, how long you've been depressed, etc. I have a history of depression in my family, my mother has done very well on antidepressents. I get midly depressed and find that SAM-e does the trick for me.

More importanyly, I've been reading Suzanne Somers book Breakthrough and find it to be very interesting. She interviews many doctors talks alot about bio-identical hormones, so many women (including myself) cant sleep. She talks about how peri-menopause can effect your sleep, your personality, your weight, so many things. Maybe you're experiencing that. I don't know your age, but some start young. I would highly recommend her book.

E. I am rewriting this because I want you to see this first. Please look up NAMI. They can help you. Many of us are going through the same things. My son is currently in an outpatient program and just recently spent a week in the hospital for this. There are other options if you aren't satisfied with how you are being handled by your caregiver who is prescribing medication. Yes we an relate and will try to help. Barring the usual things that cause depression, such as grieving over a lost one, a life change, such as moving, new job, loss of income, etc. you might examine a couple of other things besides the medications that cause lack of sleep and keep you feeling down. ALTHOUGH keep on your doctor to check your meds so that you are taking the right doses and the right ones. Oh and did I mention everyone's favorite these days-a lack of vitamin D from sunlight. Has something happened in your home or workplace that is festering? Do you feel blue or outright horrible (ie wishing to hurt, or harm others yourself etc. if so please call a doctor or head to the emergency room immediately).YOU ARE TAKING MEDICATIONS BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU WILL FEEL JOYOUS TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY. Any alcohol at all? Sometimes a very small amount can cause a few problems. I remember reading somewhere that sometimes that can alter the moods and it is just a gradual small daily blueness it is difficult to blame on that. Are you blue like the rest of us? We haven't been able to go outside in months and can't stand it. Or like my son, who recently had to get hospitalized because it was so bad- but he is doing very well now due to therapy and medication. If you have insurance you might have some more mental health sessions listed. There are so many causes and factors for depressions. Some just because we don't eat right-too much sugar, too little veggies for example or lack of exercise (remember those little seratonins don't get kicked up as much without exercise-and in extreme cases, no matter how much exercise my son's brain needed some extra help in the meds! They arestill experimenting with how much he should take. And then there are the extremes such as a number of disorders. Please take a look at the website for NAMI (National ASsociation for Mental Illiness). You are not crazy, you are feeling depressed and down and they might be able to help you.Your family will thank you. I didn't read your profile but I think you are near any number of hospitals who can send you in the right direction if you aren't feeling attended to by the doctor who prescribes the meds AND I hate to say this, but your body might be in a beginning of menopause which features the lack of sleep in lots of women's lives..YUK And there are self help groups out there for free if there is no insurance available. If you have any other questions and I can help (not sure but will try) please contact me again! Good luck! We are behind you. Depression is hard.