K.,
You are doing absolutely right by not letting your baby cry. You can find research on that topic at Attachment Parenting International website. You can leave that paperwork around, but I suspect it won't do a thing. My own husband didn't believe that cosleeping is healthier for your baby and didn't have anything positive to say about it until -- a coworker who coslept with his own baby talked about it. I left the research about and it didn't mean a thing until someone else talked about it to him.
You are doing a wonderful thing not leaving your child to cry and it makes me sad that your child has to go through this difference of opinion with you.
some would say that you need to make a permanent decision: I think you just need to STICK TOYOUR GUNS and make it work.
Your child is going to be clingy. I would suggest reading La Leche League's site, as well as Dr. Jack Newman (they're breastfeeding but also other stuff).
Your husband works. There's not much I can say that wouldn't be construed as judgmental. You asked him to stop working so much, and he is working more. Warning flag in my book. it doesn't sound like you have much contact with grandparents at all.
Know that you are not being SOFT onyour 2 year old, you are being APPROPRIATE.
Discipline and punishment are often confused by many adults who didn't experience positive in either category.
Simply redirect and offer two positive choices ( you can put your coat on or you can put your jacket on).
I've got a lot to say about this and not much time - and this forum really doesn't allow me to get 'mail' anymore. I'm not sure why.
All I can say is Stick to it, don't let your husband fail your child, and be diplomatic.
I can say depression is a choice - be joyful in your child if you cannot find a reason to be joyful in your husband. Make the choice to be glad in your child if you cannot be in your husband. Fake it till you make it someone else might say, and when you do make it you will be glad you did.
Play with your child as much as you can. you are your child's first teacher (Rahima Baldwin Dancy) is a great book to find at the library if you cannot purchase.
Yoga is very easy and you can work on that withyour baby also.
You can want your husband to be home more, but until you change a tactic or two, you're not going to get that.
So much more to say, would love to email you but you'd have to leave your email in your private post to me. I went through all this and can tell you what I did (a lot more extensively than all this).
Good luck,
M.