Deployment!!! - Jacksonville,AR

I am active duty Air Force and have been on both sides. I deployed to Iraq when my son was six months old and I've been the one to stay behind while my husband was gone. Both sides stink - I couldn't tell you which is worse.

I didn't have the hug a hero dolls to know if they would work or not. I did get the Sesame Street video about deployments for my son the last time I went. I think your four year old would benefit from it but your two year old might not grasp it yet. Children are resillient so they will get through it. You might have to deal with some acting out and behaviour that you aren't used to but for the most part they will adjust. As for yourself... make sure you have a good support system with friends around. You are going to need a break so have a friend you can trust with your kids help you get a break once in a while or you will go insane doing the single mom thing.

This is going to be difficult but you will get through it. You will learn how strong of a woman you really are when all is said and done.

Total shift of subject: I am going to message you about your schooling mentioned in your "a little about me"

D., I know the deployments are hard (we are on our 8th)and there are some ways to make them easier for the kids: put 8 x 11" pictures of Daddy doing things with the kids all over the house at their level (I also place the last picture of each one getting a daddy deployment hug by their heads in bed), create a VHS or DVD of Daddy reading stories to the kids and giving them personal messages for special days he will miss, create a countdown calendar with family pictures and special calendar milestones (help the younger ones who don't really understand the full concept . . . b-days, holidays, trip to grandmas, ect) for them to look for that coincide with that month and help the kids mark off the days (just as much for you as them), we have the build a bear w/ daddy tshirt and hug a hero both with daddy's voice recorded (they will play it until daddy's voice is gone), let them help you build the care packages with anything they want daddy to have (even water guns, big boy toys, and tons of junk food) it helps them feel like they are helping daddy, let them dictate emails to you to daddy and then print the original email and responses and put them in a binder for them to look at and for you to read to them, you can also have Staples make a poster size pic of daddy for their bedroom door that is laminated . . . these are all things that we have and are doing and we come up with more with each deployment as they get older. We have 2 girls 3 and 4 yrs old and a 9 1/2 mos old little man. Good luck and I know it is hard.

O' we also made a pillowcase with all our pictures on it for Daddy to sleep with to make his time easier and sent him DVDs of the kids activities to help him pass the time away and not feel as if he was missing so much.

Write me anytime if you need someone to talk to, good luck and God bless!

L.

D., Our family has been through a couple ourselves, they are not always easy, but as time goes by they do get easier to manage. You are just the constant for your children and mine help me get through it all. I have 3 and also am a student and that all seems to keep me busy enough. I vent to my friends and also in emails to my husband, even if he does not receive them all in a timely manner. Church is also a huge support group, sometimes what it all really comes down to is knowing that somebody out there understands what you are going through emotionally. Take lots of pictures and send them to him while he is away, memories are awesome! Hang in there and I for one will be happy to listen to any vents you may have?

Hi D.,
Sorry, I just now read your request about your husband being deployed. I too am dealing with my husband's deployment in Iraq with two kids to care for: My daughter is 15 yrs old and this his her 4th deployment, totaling 2 yrs. separation from her Dad. I know that's not much compared to many military members, but to the kids it can be tough times. My Son is 2 1/2, this is his 1st and having a rough time being he's Daddy's boy. I hope everything is going well for you and your boy's. One piece of advice......So many are going through it also and with the love you have for each other, you and your kids will be fine. Best of Luck!
J. R.