Deployed Mother Wants to Keep Close to Son While Away

Send CD's and DVD's of each other back and forth. I use to have my husband record books on a mini tape player and have my son listen to it at bed time or whenever he needed to.

If you can do it, the live camera thing is a great idea. I have friends whose son is overseas for two years and they communicate with him regularly on a program called Skype. They can see each other and chat as usual. Help him recite things he has to memorize for school or help him learn his spelling vocabulary, things like that. If he has a recital coming up, have him rehearse for you. Also, get the email address for his teacher and ask her to let you know if she starts to see his grades decline or even if she can give you a schedule of tests/quizzes so you can help remind him. I would hope that his teacher would be more than happy to keep you updated on his progress. Maybe you can offer to be a "show & tell" with the kids in his class. If you're overseas and they are studying the country you are in, maybe you can send them some local crafts or other country-specific information. You could have a live webchat with the class to talk about what you do and what it's like to be overseas in the military. What a great learning experience for the kids - you can't read about those things in a textbook.

First off thanks for all your sacrifices. What you are doing allows me to sleep safely in my bed each night near my children. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you, but I appreciate it greatly and would be happy to send a care package if you let me know what you or someone else needs/wants.

Second, My advice is to write a letter or place a call to his teacher as soon as you find out who she/he is and let them know your situation. At the school I taught at each child who had a parent deployed received a "mentor" teacher (my student had both parents deployed and was staying with a grandparent)who makes sure that student is keeping up in class, gives little tokens of kindness and allows the student to do special errands or things like that. The extra attention helps the kids alot. As a school different classes prepared letters, drawings, or care packages for those deployed parents. This gave the other kids a chance to learn appreciation and gave the kids of deployed parents a since of pride in their parent.

If his teacher doesn't suggest any of these things right off just tell him/her your concerns for your son and ask if they have any mentor programs (they are called all sorts of things- I think ours was the "Sunshine Club" or something like that).

We had all our grades online so parents could check whenever they felt like it. I think most schools are doing that now.

Give the teacher your email and tell her how often you'd like updates (I personally loved updating parents most of the time but I often worried about whether a parent wanted more or less frequent updates so you can let her know what you have in mind and that might help). MOSt classes now have website so you can check on him that way too.

Most of the time those mentor teacher would attend baseball games or choir performances... if their family schedule would allow it. I know the kids felt special when their teacher did extra things like that.

first of all let me say thank you for everything that you do for our country. I have family in the AirForce and they just had a baby girl so I know they will be in your shoes unfortunatly in a few years. Second you might try and see about getting a webcam and that way you can rhelp your son with his homework at nite and even read him a story. You should contact his teacher to see if she can do video conferences w u when its time to have student and parent conferencs.You mite eveb see if his class can send you letters for u and ur battalion or get the class oinvolved some way. good luck wherever your at overseas and thanks again for putting your life to fight for us.. A.

First, thank you for serving our country.

You could be in e-mail contact with your son's teachers. Is there a way your husband or another adult scan your son's school work to e-mail you?

You could perhaps contact your son's school principle and inquire if he/she has ever had a parent in active duty. How would the principle suggest to continue being active in your child's education at this time.

Good luck... and thanks again for serving our country. Be blessed.

Dear D.,
Like many of the others who have posted I don't really have any ideas. My children are small and not in school yet. However, I just could not go without saying "Thank You" for serving our country and working so hard. I can only imagine how difficult it is to be away from your family. I will pray that the Lord will bless your family in a special way, and give you safety and peace during this time.
PS-I did like the idea below of Karate, it sounds positive and would give your son something to focus on to pass the time while you are gone.
Take Care

First let me say Thank You! My freedom is because of your sacrifice.
My suggestion might be to see if you can find out who your child's teacher will be and talk to her about getting you involved. It may be letters written in English class to you and other servicemen.
Start talking to your son about journaling. This will give you both something to share and it will help him express his feelings.
You don't mention if you have family in the area,so what can I do for you? My two sons are grown (22 & 25).
If you can't get the teacher information yet, let me know and I will go when school starts and talk with her.
Thank you again and God Bless You and keep you safe.
J.

God bless you and keep you each and every day.

D.,

I can't imagine what you go thru. I'm a Noah's Ark Rep and am currently giving free recordable sounchips (10 sec) to all military that order an animal kit. You could maybe leave him your voice to hear.... www.sweetsurprisesbyteri.com

Thank you for all you do!

Teri

I haven't done this myself, and don't know if it applies to your situation, but maybe Big Brothers/Big Sisters could help out here? I think usually it's a "negative" situation where one parent is not around, but perhaps they have something or could think of something special for this "positive" parent being away but needing support. Hope this is helpful & thanks for your service!

Dear D.,

Thank you very much for working very hard over seas for our country! I just said a prayer for you and your family. Please post an update about your question when you have time.

May God Bless You and your family each day!
R.

hello ms D. and thank you for serving our country. The best advice is Jesus keep praying and knowing that the way you raised him while you were here is still with him. The video camera would be the best way to see him and hear him and i know he would really enjoy and love that if you can have one where you are give me the address and i will buy you and your son a web cam and mail it to you and the other one to your son i am a mother of 6 and a wife i know how it must feel and do email all his teachers that away you will be apart of his schooling and be able to keep up with his grades God bless and keep you if you decide for me to buy it for you let me know

First of all, as you've heard from so many others, thank you so much for your courage and service. I'm so sorry that this has to take you away from your son for so long. I want to echo the idea to contact your child's teacher. I would imagine that he or she would be able to really help facilitate communication between you and your son regarding his schooling, and 3rd really is a great age to work on letting writing. What a great opportunity for his classmates if they could all get involved! A class of 4th graders did that at a school where I worked and they got a lot out of it. Hopefully you'll be able to take advantage of things like web cams and on-line phone connections. If your son's school has an on-line program for parents, even better - or maybe this will motivate them to look into it! Perhaps your son could even do a blog (I would make it invite only) so that he can share his day with you even when you're not immediately available. Good luck and stay safe.

God bless you in your service to our country. Thank you for your sacrifice for the good of our country.

We lived overseas (Madrid, Spain) for 6 years, long before the email age :) All the advice you've been given is great. I used to look forward to checking the mail every day. It was the highlight of my day.

You might think about Karate for your son. The Dojo's I've been associated with really encourage "your best". They give incentives for grades and the instructors are usually very good role models. They also have extra curricular activities. A lot of them offer to pick your child up from school as well. Just a thought! It might encourage your son as well as give him good discipline/exercise.

L.

Thank you for your service. You are an unbelievable person. What a hero. Thank you. God bless you in every possible way. May the Lord be with you and shine upon your face and the faces of your family and all you serve with. I think the idea about your son's teacher "adopting" you is an outstanding idea! Please check that out!

First of all THANK YOU FOR FIGHTING FOR MY FAMILY'S FREEDOM! I know that my son's school has a grade system that we can view online. Maybe you could check it and talk about grades that you see in emails or letters. I know that we can email the teachers anytime. Just email the teachers and let them know that you want to hear about how he is doing in school. Maybe you could have a female family member or friend give him special little notes in your handwriting. And when they give it to him they could give him a hug. Again I want to say thank you for giving up so much for your country!

H. M.

You can do a lot for your son at this age. He needs to read, read, read and write, write, write. Use this to your benefit. Get him to write letters to you describing his day or an event in detail. Ask him to start a book discussion with you. Ask his teacher to recommend an age appropriate book that would support his curriculum (it can be fiction or nonfiction). Have your husband send you a copy of the book. Ask your son to read a chapter a day and then discuss it through letters. Be a partner with his teacher. Keep in touch with her/him through the internet if possible. Mention things you notice in your son's writing (whether it be the mechanics of his writing or an actual situation he's mentioned in his writing). Ask how you can support her through your correspondance with your son. Different doors will open as your son goes through his experiences and shares them with you. Although, it will be hard, it can still be a special year. Make sure you're up front with your child about the fact that all of you (you, the teacher, your husband, and your son) are working together for his benefit because he's that important.
Thank you for your service and sacrifices, Kathy M.

I'm not sure if you'll be able to do this - I don't know what personal computer things you can have. But, there are live video cams that you can hook up to your computer. You and your son could set up time as many times a week as you can and you can see each other and talk. He could do his homework and you could literally be over his shoulder. They cost around $40 and you'd need one on each end. Maybe there's another family member or close friend that could encourage him - they could commit to spending time with him specifically on homework. That could free up your phone time with him to talk about other things and just connect with your son rather than focusing on homework.

This has got to be terrible for you - my heart goes out to you!!

Hi D., sorry I do not have any advice to offer, but I do want to thank you for your service, and to let you know you and your family will be in my prayers. Thank you!

I don't think I have any suggestions....I'll pray about that one....
However, I wanted to thank you and your husband for your service. Thank you for sacrificing so that my kids are safe at home. I'm so grateful for you.
Know that my family prays for all the soldiers every single night.
May God bless you and your family abundantly for your service to me and my family.

-NO ADVICE-

God Bless you for all the personal sacrifices you do, and everything you do for the freedom of this country and the freedom of others.

I have a friend in England and we use our webcam lots. Some monitors have the camera built in for the best angle.
Thank you for your service and the incrediable sacrifice you are making to help keep us safe.

H.

Can you guys video tape messages about what is going on back and forth to each other?

Thank you for you and your husband's service to our country and I thank you for your family's sacrifice also!

I hope things work out well for you all this coming year!

Hi D.

First thank you for all you are doing. I know that it cannot be easy being away from your family, but you are doing a great thing. I am a teacher and the one thought that came to my head when I read your message was why not let the class adopt you? Some classrooms adopt a soldier, the classroom will write letters and send care packages, what better way to be involved? It could be alot of work, but you could/would be able to be involved with his friends and he would get to hear how cool you are...just a thought

Thank you for serving our country. Here is what I did for my husband when he was away, I know its different with husbands and sons but maybe it will give you some ideas??? I like the webcam ideas as well and you could also do a myspace page just for you and your son. Make sure to make everything private and put a picture of something other than you on it. There are places once you add him as a friend to do photos, that way you and him stay safe.

Here are the ideas:

My husband would send me letters whenever he could. He would also send little things from the area he was in. Maybe you can do a letter with some sand in it and tell him to start a collection? If you get out in town and can send some candy from over there that would be a big surprise for him. I would send him his favorite candy, letters, cards, and one time I sent a tiny Elmo doll as a joke because he hated Elmo but it put a smile on his face because it was something from home and he knows my sense of humor. :-) Maybe for school ask the teacher to e-mail you weekly reports and if anything starts to lack you and him/her could have a conference over e-mail? I cant think of anything else but if I do I will e-mail you back with the ideas.

Your little man is a very lucky kid to have such a concerned and caring mom.

And thank you for what you do. I don't think people appreciate it much and do know that all the people I know are thankful.

I would suggest video conferencing and emailing the teacher whenever possible. Have the teacher be involved in "parental" communication.

I would suggest getting a web cam and try to be on-line with him most nights, if only for a short time while he is doing his homework. This would allow him to also show YOU papers he has done well on and he can still see mom every day and have your continued support and encouragement. Good Luck and God bless

D., May God bless you and your family. My family thanks you for your service.

Contact your family readiness group.

We have 3 grown children, two of whom are in the Army. Our civilian daughter is home and due with our 2nd grandson in November.
Our son has been deployed once, came home and got married and they have decided to wait until he goes through his next deployment and gets out of the Army before they get pregnant. When he was overseas we stayed in contact by computer.
Our Army daughter is due with our 1st grandson this month. Her unit(which includes the baby's father) is deploying in a few months. We think our daughter will catch up with her unit in January, at which point the grandbaby will come live with us. I suggested to my daughter, during her first few months of bonding with the baby that she pick specific scents (soap, detergent, perfumes, etc.) and make them constant so he associates the scents with her and it will help him recognize her better when she returns. We plan on voice recordings and computer and phone contact whenever possible, of course.

I know all of this isn't what you need, but I wanted to share.
You've received lots of good advice from others, but let me add that if I can do anything to help, please let me know.

I think the webcam ideas are great. If that doesn't work out most of the classes today have websites. Ask the teacher if she can post what is going on each week on the website. Then when you speak with him (either by video or email) you can ask him specific questions-did you start your science project, are you ready for your full spelling review etc. You can even leave your checking the teachers website a little secret and chalk it up to- I'm mom I know everything even when I'm not there. He he he! Thank you for serving, I know it's a huge sacrifice. I married my soldier and he isn't active anymore but I remember when he was...it was hard. God bless your family! I'll be praying for you!

Unfortuantely I don't have any real advice. I got out before my 1st dtr was born and my husband missed the 1st two years of her life. I sent him video tapes and we had phone calls but thats about it. He is out due to medical for a back injury.
All I really wanted to do is to thank you. Thank you for your sacrifices. I know they are great. I wish you the best of luck in keeping grounded with your son and I wish you a safe trip back home. I hope he knows what a special job his parents have.

First let me tell you that you and your husband
are our true heros!
I appreciate the sacrifice you are gifting
our country with right now.

Maybe you want to send notes of advice and
encouragement to your son while away, even
if is only just a few words...a photo once
in a while, that will mean a lot to him!
You might want to check up with your
child's school district, some have web sites
in the internet where you can check up
his grades, projects and due dates
you can even get his teacher's email address
so you can stay in contact with her/him as well.

God Bless, we're praying for your safe return!