Depession

Hi P.,

Well no wonder you are anxious, that sounds like a horrible scare and quite an ordeal for your daughter. It is natural for parents, especially moms, to have excessive worries over their children. My daughter was admitted the hospital last May with a serious kidney infection which resulted in fevers in excess of 105 that did not respond to tylenol, shaking chills that became so severe that she was experiencing muscle pain and just looked so desperately ill and was turning to me for help. I ultimately took her to the ER at 4:30 AM and didn't leave the hospital for 4 days. I know there are parents who have children who experience life threatening illness and their children undergo procedures which are much more uncomfortable then our children expererienced, but when it is your child you lose all perspective. The illnesses our children experienced could have been very serious. that being said it is not surprising your sense of security has been shaken. However worry can get out of control and lead to an overwhelming sense of worry and dread which indeed could be considered pathologic. If you note your sense of security and peace does not return soom and if your anxiety level remains high enough to affect the quality of your life, you should mention it to your doctor a short course to therapy might be warranted. Best Wishes.

J. L.

J. L.

Hi P.,
New babies~ as you already know ~bring great joy and great stress to us moms who are responsible for their every basic need. I think it is perfectly normal for you to be feeling anxious after such a traumatic experience. I feel the same way whenever my daughter gets hurt! It will pass...it's only when it lingers that you have to start taking a closer look at it. Try having a cup of chamomile tea and focusing on everything that is wonderful about your baby. There are tons of safe herbs and suppliments out there for dealing with stress.

I just think you have a lot on your plate. You have a small child and an infant, and one of your children was just hospitalized. You are trying to be a perfect mom. Relax, you're doing fine.

I think you are overwhelmed and that really can hang on you. What you just went thru -altho- some may say was small..really was a drain and emotional..having your kid in the hospital is such a stressful situation!

You also have a teeny , tiny baby and your hormones maybe reaking havoc on you also..try and give your self a break, you just had a bay, you have a toddler and the baby was just in the hospital! I am not sure there is enough chocolate in the house for that one!

Tt is OK to cry, to worry, to be a mom with all of this going on.. put the kids down for nap, make a nice drink, a nice dessert and watch a tear jerker..take some stress off yourself (the laundry can wait..you need a little you time)

Your baby is OK, it was an odd thing..but she is better now..hang in there and if need be make an appt and just talk to your OBGYN abotu your feelings, maybe she/he will feel you have postpartum and help you out there (do not listen to Tom Cruise! lol)

Hang in there, you are your girls hero.

Totally normal...you are just being cautious and attentive during a very stressful time in your child's life, which is great. No worries. Just make sure that questionable feeling you are having does not flow over onto your child, they pick up on things like that.

I can sympathize with you completely. My daughter has been a handful since day one with medical things, but lately she seemed better and we were more relaxed with her until...she climberd into a chair and fell, splitting her head open, which then became infected. She went through three courses of antibiotics before the infection would respond. It is very scary and I felt the same way you are feeling. I was very nervous with her and overprotective. I also felt guilty because she fell and then it became infected. I think it is all normal and in a little while things will go back to your typical routine...at least we have. Hope this helps.

Hi P.,
I'm sorry to hear you & your daughter are going through a difficult time. I don't claim to be a doctor but it sounds like you're suffering from anxiety. There's no reason to be ashamed or embarrased by this- thousands of men & women feel this way (especially given all of the stress you're dealing with). I think you should immediately make an appt with your primary care physician, be open & honest with him or her about how you're feeling & take it from there. You & your family will be better off as a result.
Best of luck!

P.,

What an experience to go through! You must have been terrified. I think any new mom would be feeling nervous and probably even "incompetant" after all that. Here are my suggestions:
1. Do not hesitate to talk to your pediatrician and/or the nurse if you can't get right through to the doctor. Pedicatricians are very experienced in helping the mommy-guilt feelings that always come up (even though they are not justified). Sometimes the nurse is even better.
2. Get some support from any friends or family that you have available.
3. Call an "Ask a Nurse" hotline - they are usually listed under hospital websites and you don't have to be a patient there.
4. I would try one at the Boston hospital where the baby received treatment if possible. If not, try a couple till you hit someone who's helpful (don't get discouraged if they don't seem helpful, some people are very stressed and busy with these phone lines, but you'll hit a good one if you keep at it).
5. Realize that the more nervous you feel, the more the baby will sense it. So rock and listen to some music that YOU enjoy, that makes YOU relax, and it will transfer to your baby. If the baby is still fussing, strap her on and vacumn the rugs.
6. I can recall feeling as though my new baby was so "breakable" and such a tremendous responsibility (after all who was I to have charge over a whole new life????). (and my one and only is 19years old now!) She actually survived and got out of diapers before high school (tee hee).
It is experience, being unshy about calling your doctor a hundred times when necessary, and support of other moms. If you don't have that available, find a "mom and me" group in your area. It REALLY reduces your stress.
7. God Bless you for being such a caring mother. Your little one is blessed to have you.

L.
p.s. although you will learn a lot from other moms, you will also learn that your own ideas were "right after all".

It sounds to me that you need to give yourself a break. You have been through a very scary experience in a major hospital with your child. Of course you are going to be doubtful and anxious. Just remember you are the one who discovered the sore toe, took your child to the doctor and comforted your child. You are a good mom and you are doing all of the right things. Be proud very proud of yourself!
A.

Hi P.,
I am sorry to hear about that scary incident with your daughter. I have a 4 1/2 year old and an 11 month old, both boys. My oldest fell into the corner of a wall a year and a half ago and required stitches in his head. I went through the same anxiety & basically fear of everything with him after that. It lasted for me a couple of weeks until I could settle down and know he would be ok. I do think it is normal and having an event that is so traumatic in some ways heightens your emotions with regards to your children. As mothers we always want our children safe but when something happens beyond our control I think it shakes us up a bit. I hope things work out for you and your family. Good luck with the new baby.
Take care,
V.

Hi P.,

Poor you, that must have been so hard and horrible for the both of you! Depression?? I say you deserve a little down time. And you're body is telling you need it. Plus you've been there for your child the whole time and have been strong for her. I'd be nervous and anxious myself.

Both of my children are NICU grads having spent a week in the hospital and it's hard when you come home. There's all these feelings and they're all ok. Watching you're baby go through what she went through had to have been hard. I've had both of my children go through IV's and the spinal tap, etc...

Hope things stay well and healthy for you and her.

E. P

I think as a mother we're always going to feel this way about our children. We are responsible for these little human beings for the rest of our lives. Make sure that her feet are clean and warm. If it doesn't hurt too much massage her feet every night with baby lotion before bedtime. This helps them relax and fall asleep as well as increases circulation. When clipping her nails don't clip too close to the sides of the nail since this can cause and ingrown nail, personal experience talking here. Who knows what could have caused the problem with her toe. You've done a wonderful job by noticing that there was a problem and taking care of it. Don't ever second guess yourself. Whatever religion you believe in just say a prayer of thanks that she is getting better. What I've learned to do every night is just say Thank you for today because it was a good day, and thank you in advance for letting me wake up and see tomorrow. I'm so thankful for my daughter, the one they told me I was never going to have, that I just look into her beautiful face and I'm thankful to have her. It's so easy to dwell on what could have happened but you know that you're a confident person so just remember that. You are a wonderful Mom!

P.,

I think you are doing great. All of this is kind of scarey and new for you. I will also say that getting some added support from this on-line group is great....see if you can also meet with other new Moms to help keep you socializing! I am a therapy junkie, myself, so I am always in favor of getting that kind of support too. That way you don't have to worry if you are depressed etc. b/c it is the professionals job to figure that out! :) Anyway, there are some great folks who specialize in working with new Mommies in Brattleboro and probably Northamton and Amherst...

Hey, make sure you are sleeping too...that makes a big difference in how you look at the world.

Hi P.,

It sounds to me that you have done everything humanly possible to address the situation with your child as soon as you became aware there was an issue to address. I have read many of the other reponses and agree that it is 'human' to have fear and anxiety, especially after the ordeal you've been through. I, however, do not agree that it needs to be a part of our lives (the fear and anxiety). I believe we do our best to create safe environments for our children but they must also experience the world in order to create their own sensitivities and personal navigational systems. I would recomment that you check out the following website: http://www.infiniteloveandgratitude.com/
I am a Certified LifeLine Practitioner and am always willing to do sessions over the phone. This is an amazing process which will assist removing the subconscious pattern(s) that are causing you stress (fear & anxiety) which has been triggered by this current medical event with your child. If you are interested in discussing LifeLine or just want additional information feel free to contact me at ____@____.com.

I wish you the best with your children. I trust you are an AWESOME mom! and that you ARE and HAVE DONE the best you possibly can! Infinite Love & Gratitude ~ R.