Dentist Fears

Hi, I work for a pediatric dentist and it is normal for some kids to not like it there. I hope at the place that you went they were very positive and made it a good experience for him. Maybe ask them if they would trying using the nitrous oxide first and see how he does. They shouldn't push him. I know this is hard to, but some kids do better when the parent doesn't go back with them. So try that. Nitrous oxide is very safe too. Did they want to do an oral sedation or IV? There some ideas, was it his first visit? sometimes when it is they need to realize that it's not like the regular dr's office and it should be a fun positive experience.

My son reacted the same way. We had an awesome dentist and he recommended using nitrous at a very low setting. I trusted the dentist and my son completely relaxed and has never been afraid since. It's completely safe and cheap. It scares me to think of putting a child under!

I was in the same boat and to ease the fear from my children, when it was time to go to the dentist I would take my IPOD with me filled with their fave songs and as the dentist did his work the children slowly drifted off to sleep.

OK - does the dentist take time to explain what they are doing, do they show your son the instruments and let him see what they do? Our pediatric dentist does that and he's wonderful. Dr. Michael Purcell on Fortino Blvd.

Also, I prepped my DD for the dentist by reading her a lot of stories about kids that went to the dentist - Dora goes to the Dentist, and I think there are a few at the library that also can help kids to ease their fears.

What I think you want to do is find out what he's afraid of, exactly, and address that issue by showing him how it works and reassuring him that it won't hurt. I know when I was his age, I had to have a tooth extracted and I never forgot how terrifying it was to have that gas to put me under and how sick I got afterward. I hated the dentist from that point on.

I think promising a reward afterward is a great idea as well.
Good luck and let us know how you do.

Bribery can help but don't let them hold him down unless he has had something to calm him down. If you let that happen it causes further trauma. I am in the dental profession and have been for about 15 years. Usually with children like this we always recommend them to see a pedodontist. (pediatric dentist) If they have extreme fears maybe they can give him a sedative but not put him completely under. I have seen many parents bribe the kids and that really worked. The other thing we have kids do is have them sit on their parents lap or watch from a chair next to the patient chair while mom or dad gets their teeth worked on.

My daughter was about 4 years old when she first went to the dentist. She did NOT handle it well and wouldn't sit in the chair without sitting on my lap. She wouldn't open her mouth or anything for the dentist. He prescribed her some valium. I was also hesitant to have her put under, so that wasn't an option for me. I don't know if you would be comfortable with valium, but it really worked. About 1 hour before her next visit, I crushed up the pill and put it in a spoon with water and sugar and by the time we got to the dentist, she was nervous, but very mellow. She was a lot more cooperative, though still nervous. She is now 8 years old and does terrific at the dentist without valium! She took it 3 times when she was 4 or 5. Hang in there and good luck with whatever you decide.

I don't think it is a good idea to reward getting cavaties filled as that won't help the whole message of trying to prevent them. I would say consistent exposure to the dentist at a really early age can help prevent this later on. I started my kids at the dentist at 18 mos, my kids love my dentist (which I don't even like the dentist). Not saying you were wrong waiting but when they are older the fears can esculate if it is new.
Since he has fears, acknowledge them and give him compassion about them, however it is awfully good incentive to get him to brush better and take care of his teeth. My daughter had surface cavaties done and they do not completely put her under, however give them light gas that has flavors/smells and it is a easy procedure. There was no pain involved and believe me she is a freak about pain and had not one problem. I would just try and comfort him as best you can. you will go with him if the dentist will allow, however a lot don't like the parents present as it can cause more stress on the child. I would just encourage him being a big boy, explain why it has to be done. The staff should more then understand and he is one in a TON of kids that go through this, let them handle it. I wouldn't go back with him if you have to resort to pinning him down, the staff is the best to handle this situation as it is so common.

M., your son is not the only one afraid of the dentist. I'm 65 years of age and hate going to the dentist. I understand what he is going through..........Please ask dentist to have patience and also know that he is too young to know why is so necessary to visit the dentist. I will pray for a better visit for you and him next time you have to see the dentist. you have a great week end. Also please pray for me, I just found out I have cancer of the breast and need a lot of prayers.......My real nane is Celenia Raymond in case you want to pray for me.

I've worked in the dental field for 9 years now and can tell you from experience that it will get easier. Take him with you to your appointments so he can see that mom is ok, before he goes for his cleanings get him pysched up for it, tell him how great it will be. Start that a week before hand, practice counting his teeth and brushing his teeth for him. If you need to bribe him so be it (my mom had to bribe me!) As hard as it may be, let him go to the room by himself- most kids do better when mom isn't there. Hope this helps! :)

I don't know why your son is afraid of the dentist - it could be that he's imagining it will be worse than it is or he's been traumatized by the first visit. I had a dentist in Boulder that was wonderful for my son but wanted to put my 20 month old daughter on Demerol and strap her down for a filling (talk about traumatic!). I found a new dentist who filled the cavity while she laid on my lap (first dentist wouldn't even try this). My daughter is now 5 and has had quite a few fillings unfortunately (her twin sister has never had even one). Our current dentist is so wonderful. My daughter's last fillings required she go under general anesthesia so she wouldn't be traumatized (we got a second opinion who agreed with our current dentist's approach). She used to teach at Children's Hospital in Denver and she now does work there every Friday. She is wonderful and took very good care of my daughter. I would recommend her to anyone. She's in Arvada. Please let me know if you need her information. Good Luck!

My son is 7 1/2 and has had many thousands of dollars of dental work. He had 7 cavities the third trip to the dentist! Our only option was to sedate him due to the length of time of the work and his age 3 1/2. We do all the right things but still he has cavities. I know sedating him is scary but generally it is the right option for a child who is terrified. They will sleep through the work and wake up later remembering nothing of the experience. Thankfully with a perscription toothpaste, we have stemmed the cavity tide. If it is only one cavity that needs filled, you can try a drug called verset (? spelling)that just relaxes the child and still makes them forget, but they don't sleep as deep. This did not work for my son as it just made him "floppy" and he cried through the proceedure. Good luck. Keep flossing and brushing.
M. B.

Hi M.,
It is theorized that the real reason that people fear dentists is due to the mercury vapor in the air at the office. This can cause neurological responses such as hysteria and pain intollerance. You could take him to a mercury-free, biological dentist, (one who does not use mercury filling material- ie, "silver" fillings, which contain mostly mercury). Mercury, the second most toxic substance on Earth, is a neurotoxin and endocrine disruptor and it is widely believed that mercury causes many of our modern health ailments, which we've seen since it came into use by dentists, who are not trained in medicine, 170 years ago. I am the NM state coordinator for a worldwide nonprofit that educates on the dangers of mercury dental fillings. For more info, look up DAMS,Inc. or www.Toxicteeth.org
email me for ?s.
-J.

When I was 16 I had extensive facial damage due to a car accident resulting in extreme pain at dental office. I called around and found a dentist that was gentle. Then when my children came along, I let them come in with me to see that I had no fear even though I white knuckled it to keep from crying out in pain. Plus I always told them the truth that it would hurt but only for a little while. My oldest had a problem where all her teeth had to be pulled because of extensive long roots - no problem, mommy went first. Key is gentle dentist and truth at their level. Good luck.

Hi M. -

As a mother of 3, all now teenagers or older, I chose not to worry about surface cavities. They are in the baby teeth that are going to fall out anyway. I chose instead to focus on teaching my kids to take care of their teeth so they didn't get cavities. If he is that frightened, holding him down is only going to make his fear greater and could even cause him to carry that fear with him into adulthood. Put yourself in your son's place. Would you want someone to treat you that way? Would you, at 5 years old, understand why you were being treated that way? If there is no pain with the surface cavity, I would not worry about it.

Just my opinion.
M. M. Ernsberger

Hello M.,

I have a 10 yo that is great at docors offices but I have heard the horror stories about dentists and children. I have been taking my daughter to Comfort Dental for years and they have always been great with all of the children there. I have never seen a patient that was scared or upset about being there. Maybe take your son there if you have them were you live. If not try chat boards in your area to find a dentist that is kid friendly. I believe if you find a kid friendly dentist that might be your answer. Good luck finding a good dentist.

A.

I am a former pediatric dental assistant. Let me tell you I have seen parents do all of the above. Did your ped dentist use Nitrous Oxide? It sounds scary but its just laughing gas. I worked in a ped office for 2yrs and man did that help the kids calm down. It has no side effects and is completely flushed out of their system before they leave the room. Good luck.

I went through this exact scenario with my son. They wanted to put him under as well and I was not pleased with them for this ridiculous "solution", and I let them know. I did this to let my son know that this was absolutely not an option, that we deal with the realities of life, and to let the dentist know that I did not appreciate them letting my son know in any way that this should be an acceptable solution. I'm also an RN and know that recovery from any type of procedure after being put under is more difficult, another reason that I was kind of shocked that they offered it so non-chalantly to a five year old!
To offer you hope and a light at the end of the tunnel: My son is now 16, has great teeth!, and hasn't feared going to the dentist for years. The solution? Do whatever you have to do for your little man. Only you have the correct gut feelings about your son. I had my son lay on top of me during the first couple visits, which he requested and seemed to help him alot. (It also helped facilitate me "holding him down" through the procedure!) Then, when he got through that and realized it wasn't that bad and he didn't die, we progressed to me holding his hand. After the holding hands stage, which was I think just 2 visists, he knew he was a big boy and had mastered the dentist! (I have a younger daughter as well, and interestingly, she never had these struggles.)
Yes! It was extremely difficult to hear his screaming in panic and fear. Yes, those fears are very real and justifiable at that age. But it's a great chance to reinforce that you are the boss and that what you say goes, (with great love and understanding of course), and a great way to show your son that you are faithful and will help him no matter what, but that he has to go to the dentist! Offer small rewards, but be sure he knows that his best reward is that he got through it like a big boy, and the result is great teeth!
Good luck, I know how hard this is. You will get through it and your son will learn some excellent life-long lessons.

I had a horrible experience with my then 4 year old daughter - a pediatric dentist without a clue! Anyway I found a wonderful one in Highlands Ranch and we havc had happy visits ever since! And she's had several fillings. It does cost a little more and I pay for the laughing gas during the procedure but it's so worth it for my peace of mind and my daughter's perception of dentist visits! Check out http://www.drlisas.com/Dr_Lisa_Stimmel.htm. Hope the link works.

My 8 year old has been through the same thing. The dentist that worked was Dr. David Martinez, 4263 Montgomery Blvd., NE
Albuquerque, NM 87109, ###-###-####. Laughing Gas was also the alternative to going under. It worked fine, is much safer and is less expensive. I think any dentist should try laughing gas before they jump into general anesthesia. He also has TV screens on the ceiling that they can watch and helps them calm down.

My other child, who also had terrible fears, likes Lisa Arnhart, 8521 Golf Course RD NW, Suite 116, Albuquerque, NM 8711,###-###-####. But he was not at the screaming, thrashing stage. :-)

Good luck.

Oh, p.s. - I think bribing is FINE in these extreme situations. For my son it was a few packs of Pokemon cards, but it really helped him get through the process.

Check out Dr. Jay Citrin (he's on N. Oracle Rd.) He is great with kids & has been our family's dentist since my husband was little. He takes all the time your child needs to become comfortable with him - even if that means several visits before anything is worked on - as well as only charging you for one visit! He's amazing! On his answering machine he even lists his home phone number! Check out his website...http://www.drjaycitrin.com/

We happen to be really good friends with our dentist, so this might not work for you. We took over a toy (early so our son did not know it was from us), the water station from Thomas the Tank and had the dentist put it out on the shelf. When we got their, of course our son noticed it immediately and the Dentist then told him if he sat very still and no tears he could have it. We even let him hold it durring the procedure. Our dentist was wonderful and said that he has used it since. A couple of times he has said the child just could not stop crying and the parents left with-out the toy only to come back a couple of days later to try again. It might take a bit of doing on your part but it might work. Good luck!!

My son used to be the same way. I bought a pretend doctor kit and a week out from the dentist appointment I would let him "clean" my teeth and count them just like a real dentist would. Then I would do his. At dinner my husband and I would talk about how important it was and how grateful we were to have dentist and healthy teeth. I know this sounds like a lot of prep work, but my son now loves to go to the dentist and it is not scary anymore. Hope this helps.

Look for a dental hygiene school in your local area. For instance, here in Flagstaff we have a one at NAU. It has a great teaching atmosphere and the students are great with the kids. Lots of one on one time with kid friendly interaction. It's cheap too!!! They can provide a professional assessment of your childs needs under the supervision of a licensed Dentist,and may have some great ideas on how to lessen the trauma of dental work. J.

I hope getting the cavity filled is a good experience in comparison. Our son does really well when I hold his head in my lap. I sit in the chair and he lays between my legs. He seems to feel comfortable since I am there with him.

I had a really bad experience at the dentist having teeth pulled when I had not had enough shots. The dentist said I was a difficult child and wanted to sedate me. I'm glad my mom removed me and found a different dentist. It's not to say your dentist isn't good, just not a good match for your son. I've found that with my boys. One sees our doctor, and the other sees the PA. Sometimes it's just a personality thing, or something. Try another dentist and maybe just go in to meet the dentist with your son before they do anything on his teeth. Let him meet the dentist and his staff as people. He may really like them and trust them as friends. I would think most dentists would be more than happy to accomodate that request. We just moved and set my son up with a new dentist and the first appointment is totally that. If they get his teeth cleaned, great. If not, we go again another day. We only pay for what gets accomplished, and it's always done at the kid's pace. This dentist was my dentist as a Jr./Sr. higher, and I never heard anyone crying or screaming and they take kids of all ages. If you were near me, I'd recommend them. Try to find someone who would do that for your son. He doesn't have to go through life hating the dentist.

M.,

I took my son to his first dental visit at 2 1/2. I got him super excited about it. I told him that they were going to tickle his teeth clean. He was very happy about going. I also bribed him. I figured whatever I needed to do in order for him to get done what needed to be done. He really wanted to go to the movies to see a certain movie - so I told him if he cooporated while he had his teeth cleaned he could go. I think it is important to have the cavities taken care of. I would see if your dentist can maybe give him some laughing gas to just take away some of his anxiety. I have seen this used before on kids and it doesn't make them incoherent. Good luck!

L.

Not all pediatric dentists are the same. My daughter had to take valium to get thru her first few cavities with our family dentist. Our insurance changed and I found a ped dentist where she goes for fillings and gets gas and does not make a peep. Our dentist takes most insurances and is Dr. Monak at Wads and Yale Perfect Teeth. I really hated giving her such big meds and I am amazed she has no problem now. Good Luck.

Letting him have his teeth fixed is vital espcially if they are molars. I have a seven year old who has had to go under twice, the bad teeth (he has no emnamil its a family trait) was starting to impare his speech and behavior, his first was when he was three. My three year old daughter will have to go under this year, it is ok, but it is hard on the parents. Most dental offices will set up a payment plan as well as the anistesia (SP) people, often times if they feel the need is great enough they will lower their prices. Secondly on the screaming, let him, he is scared and it hurts and it is load. I let my oldest borrow my iPod with some of his music on it, he thinks he;s cool and he can not hear what is going on around as well. Finally if your dentist can not handle it volume of the scream, get a new one. He is your employee, remmeber that, if you don't like what he says or how he acts toward your son fire him and move on. Try not to be embarrased by your sons behavior, (coming from someone who was) he is allowed to have his feelings but he can also learn a better way to express them. We now have a word that my son uses when he wants to scream, it is Kalimazoo, because you can not say it without smiling. It works for both my kids. Lego's are a great reward.
Hope this helps.
A.