Demanding Toddler. - Washougal,WA

What you're saying is very normal, we have all been there and it will get better! This is a key time in deciding how you will parent though. There are so many different approaches but the one I have gotten the most out of is Love and Logic. It is a great book to buy, I keep going back to mine time and time again. http://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp...

Another great series of books to help you figure out what to expect at each age are the books written by Louise Bates Ames, they are by age
http://www.amazon.com/Your-Two-Year-Old-Louise-Bates-Ames...
These you can usually buy cheap at a Half Priced Books, if you have them in your area.

For bedtime plans, and other obstacles of toddlerhood I love the Baby Whisperer Solves your Problems
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Whisperer-Solves-Your-Problems...

Its best to go to a book store and start reading the back of these types of books to see what style will work best with how you would like to parent. I could tell you what I do, but with kids, it really takes several different approaches as your child will get wise to your ways and you will many times have to figure out some creative parenting to get your way. I do highly recommend the Love and Logic book as a start. It has a great foundation and can grow with you as your child grows.

Good Luck!
VillageMom
www.ittakesavillagedallas.com

Toddlerhood is an exquisitely frustrating time for almost all kids. Children truly do want to be happy, but don't have the power, reasoning, motor skills or experience to get there. And of course, meltdowns are more common when littles are tired, hungry, or have already heard "no" a few times too often. Their little brains have burned out all the brain chemicals that makes life happy. Then everything is impossible for them.

Help him find words to express his feelings. "You really, really wish there was enough blue pieces for every bite!" "You feel mad right now because you can't ______. Would you like some help?" Or, ""How sad/frustrated you feel when you want me to _____ and I want to ______." Your empathy and coaching, plus another year or two of maturation, will eventually give him broader emotional alternatives.

Check out the approach used by Dr. Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Toddler on the Block. Here's one link, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ1428uYs2g&NR.... , and watch several related video clips to see exactly how he "speaks" the toddler's language. By using strong empathy, he lets frustrated little kids know their feelings have been heard. Once they feel understood and supported, they can start letting in and processing new information instead of just being overwhelmed by their feelings. This worked well for my grandson when he was a toddler, and has been a wonderful technique for other young families I know.

There's another wonderful book that your son is just about growing into: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. As his ability to communicate expands, this book will become a resource you'll reach for many times. (It's the single most effective parenting book I've ever read, and I've read quite a few good ones.)

It not only helps you learn how to show your care and empathy to your son, but also how to present your own needs and parental expectations in a way that he can hear and accept. You find out how to make him a working part of any solution. I've used this approach with my grandson since he was about 2.5, and we're quite a terrific team. Cooperation up, resistance down. Very, very nice.

It is time for him to realize that you are the mom, not the person he can push around.
You need to let him feed himself. If he can choose the color on his spoon, he can put the color on his spoon and feed himself.
If he throws a tantrum, walk away or ignore him.
At bed time, read the story, kiss him goodnight, and walk out. Do not lie down. Do not stay in the room. This is his way of controlling you.
Do not give in to his whims or you'll be doing it his whole life.
LBC

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Please know that he will eventually come out of this phase. It is hard while you are in the midst of it though...I know.
My 3-year-old was very much the same when she was 2. Her "terrible two's" lasted well into her 3's (for me), but now she is much, much better.
The best advice I got was from older mom's who told me to be consistent in how I dealt with the tantrums. If you are going to ignore them (which I know is very hard to do when there are so many that you lose count!), continue to ignore them...every single time. Don't give in to his tantrums. Don't give him what he wants.
Also, don't give him tons of choices. There can be times where you let him pick a cereal. But, for the most part, you decide for him. Sometimes we overwhelm our little ones with a barrage of choices- which they are unable to make. So, I would encourage you to be firm, try to stay calm (or walk away if his tantrums are making you upset), and let him fit. Eventually, he will realize it won't change what you do, and eventually he will grow out of it (although not soon enough for those of us going through it, right?).
You are in my prayers.

This is the age they test the boundaries!! My input is stay consistent. I am going thru the same thing with my son who is also 2. It seemed to help me out to know that other moms are also going thru this bc sometimes his acting out would get so bad I thought something has to be wrong! lol It's very hard to constantly teach your children to behave but at this age there is no other choice. Just remember it will pass and hopefully all of us who are going thru this will still be a little sain at the end of our terrible two journey!

I let my son throw tantrums. He will throw crazy fits that for some reason he just needs to get out. I ignore it and he usually comes back to normal and carry's on about his business.
Bedtime, I turned my sons doorknob around so I could lock it from the outside. I tried gating him, he climbed over it, I tried child locks, he broke them off. He is insane and I cannot have him wandering the place while Im not watching him. He doesnt get up anymore because he knows he cannot get out, and when I put him to bed, (ahhhhh) he goes to sleep. You just have to out smart them. I might sound harsh, but Im not enabling him to be a crazy monster. Im in control, at least at home, out in public is a different story.. This child makes me tired.....