Delayed Son

i would throw fits if i couldnt communicate too. some kids struggle. it doesnt make them delayed...it J. means they are not advanced in that subject. all kids have areas they excel at. i would go with what the dr said

My grandson is in special ed because of apraxia of speech and Aspergers. We've been involved with many professional people. I suggest that you accept what the doctors have told you.

I don't understand what you mean when you say he's a little behind. He's in kindergarten, he plays well with children. The only difficulty that I hear you tell us is that he throws fits. This is not a mental problem. It is a behavior problem. It is a behavior difficulty and not an indication that he's a little behind. He just needs to learn a better way of expressing his feelings. Yes, kids/people with mental problems do throw fits but kids/people without mental problems also throw fits.

I suggest that you talk with a parenting coach to learn a different way of dealing with his tantrums. No need to pay the high prices of a psychiatrist.

How do you handle them now? Do you treat them as a tantrum, meaning that you walk away, pay no attention to his behavior and never give in and do what he wants?

You could send him to his room when he cries, telling him this will help him calm down. Let him play if he wants to. The idea is to give him quiet and space to calm himself. Express sympathy for his hurt/angry feelings while you tell him to go to his room. You could provide soft music. Perhaps a pile of pillow and a cozy blanket.

Can you predict when he's going to throw a fit? Is it more often when he's tired and/or hungry? If so try to give him a snack or a quiet time before he has a melt down.

Do you give him choices? Do you steer him in a different direction before you have to say no? This is called distraction.

I'd bet that the fit throwing probably STARTED because he couldn't communicate his desires in a way anyone understood. At this point, it's a habit like lots of behaviors. He keeps doing it because it's what he does, but he'd probably be happier if he stopped as well.

Have you talked with him about the fit throwing? Does he know that you want him to use his words when he's angry? Does he have sentence frames to use to express those angry feelings? That could even be something they work on in speech (could be added to his goals) since it IS a maladaptive communication skill.

Hope this helps.
T.

This question makes no sense. There's no such thing as being "mentally behind". If your son has an IEP, request a meeting to review his program and services. If he does not currently have an IEP, make a written referral to the school district requesting a comprehensive psychoeducational evaluation. This will initiate a process that takes approximately two months and involves substantial assessment of your son's functioning across all domains (including motor skills). The team will meet with you upon completion of the evaluations and discuss with you whether your son is eligible for Special Education services. If he is, they will work with you to develop a program of supports. If he is not, they will likely refer him to other supports in the school.

There's no way to respond to this question before the evaluation is completed. If you would like help writing the letter (I am a special education administrator), message me.

play dough is great for strengthening fine motor skills I saw on pinterest to turn over a pasta strainer and let the child poke pipecleaners through the wholes. he might like that. Or have him make his letters on a tray taht you mix cornstartch and a little bit of water.

You need to teach him another way of dealing with disappointment than fit throwing, I hope that never gets him what he wants, He could breath calm and deep when the feels it start, he can squeeze a pillow, you could model to him how to use his words, to ask nicely.

sounds like maybe a private physciatrist would help with the tantruming.

oh and teach him ways to be independed and in control, let him put on his own jacket, and put on his own shoes, give him 2 choices of shirts to pick from in the morning, let him choose which veggie he wants for a side dish with dinner ( from 2 choices)

And work with the teacher she probably has some ideas.

I wonder if the fit throwing is partly due to being overly concerned and all the attention he's gotten with his speech issue from you. You need to treat him as a child his age and accept him as he is and realize he is just a bit behind in speech, understands well you said, and keep working on the fine motor skills. I think you need to expect more of him and let him know that. Love him, be firm though. It sounds like he's an only child but either way you say he plays well with others so that is good and just continue with letting him grow and be happy.

Listen to Kristen! I knew the basics of what she said (only because my SIL is a Speech Pathologist for the school district), but Kristen really knows the ins and outs of how all this works.

The process she is talking about is the only way to really understand what is going on with him and how it will effect his learning and overall educational experience.

I also want to echo those who mentioned the "fits" as behavior and a consequence of the speech delay. One of the reasons the "terrible twos" is called that is because kids are really starting to learn how to communicate. Some faster than others. They are all learning, and they all struggle from time to time in understanding what they really want and how to get that across to adults. Very, very hard when they have such limited vocabularies and even harder if they have trouble saying even the few words that they do know.

If he's still having "fits," it really could just be a behavior issue that needs time and effort. You might just have to keep working with him, helping him use his words, helping him to relax, etc.

Hang in there! And talk to his teacher. Ask for a "comprehensive psychoeducational evaluation." That would really be my next step.

What does his Kindergarten teacher say? We are about to have parent/teacher conferences, and I'm eager to hear what the teachers have to say. Keep in mind that most teachers are not qualified to diagnose anything, but they would have a pretty good idea of whether a behavior (such as fits) is something to work on or a sign of something more. If you're concerned, you can request and evaluation. Talk to the teacher about your concerns and really listen to what he/she has to say.

You do need to accept the diagnosis the doctor gave, but you can request and evaluation from the school. The evaluation from the schools will focus on learning and behavior and whether having your son in a traditional classroom will be just fine (with only the occasional worry) or if there will be some specific things your child needs.

My younger son is in PreK, and I think he needs to have an evaluation. I have a conference with his teachers on Thursday. He has never been evaluated, but I think some of his "quirks" can no longer be dismissed as normal for his age or even slightly delayed. I do know that the teachers have already made some adjustments for him.

When the kids are asked to sit on the carpet, my son often sits in his own chair. This seems to have helped quite a bit. Having an evaluation might help identify little adjustments like that than can be a huge help for your son.

If he is evaluated and it is recommended that he have an IEP, remember that stands for Individual Education Plan. It would be specific needs that your son has in order to be successful.

Talk to his teacher. That's where I would begin.

I can't tell what kind of evaluation you had in July? Was it a psychiatrist?
Did he say your child was fine?
Children with aspbergers can have speech delays and have been know to pitch big fits. They are usually smart and can be very focused. Transitioning is very hard sometimes.
Try to get the school to do testing. An IEP can give him a way to catch up and even things out a bit.

Try getting him involved in music

I think you need to seek a second opinion. Speech delay and the throwing of fits fit autisim, but add fine muscle control and it could also be Cerebal Palsey or something similar.

Fine muscle control is more than just writing. He may get bored just practicing writing. Have him do things such as stringing beads, play-doh, coloring, buttoning and unbuttoning clothes, even helping to fold clothes anything that works his fingers.

I don't mean to scare the bejeebers out of you but I would be looking for answers.
Check out websites such as autisimspeaks.org or The Easter Seals web site. Contact them for info.