Daycare Problems and I'm the Provider

is he overall in good health? If he seems to lose weight or be delayed i might call cps just because the parents are well off doesnt mean they are caring for their child properly. It doesnt sound like he is very loved at home.

Mention the too small socks. Gee he is growing,I noticed he is needing larger sized socks.

Mention the spoiled milk. This morning, I noticed his cup had spoiled milk. I bet when you get home you will find the fresh cup of milk n the counters.

I would have washed he jacket and told them, oops, I think your cat marked his jacket, so I washed it today.

Do not let things slide with them. Iti is good for them to know you are noticing these things each time.

This is for the good of this child. These parents are either clueless, neglectful or lazy parents..

Spoiled Milk -Take the High approach. to the parent - Just as an FYi not sure what happened but some how your child got send with an old milk bottled with spoiled milk. I washed it and put fresh milk in for him but you might want to look into it I know things get mixed up when we are busy. I think I would probably have just washed the baby's jacket. Tackle the small stuff with them and see if a change occurs.

I would suggest a generic set of guidelines and policies that you could distribute to your daycare families just saying "I have updated my daycare policies and procedures" Then include things like:
-please make sure your child has proper fitting socks and shoes. We go outside, go for walks, tumble on our mat (whatever) and their safety and success depends on these items.
-please send your child to daycare with clean, fresh milk/juice, in sippy cups/bottles. I will provide fresh milk/juice at snack and lunch time. [OR say that you will provide all drinks and snacks, as long as the child has a clean, clearly marked bottle/cup with their name on it.] Drinks need to be fresh and in clean containers to limit the risk of spreading germs when little ones accidentally pass these items around.
-Send a clean change of clothes for "just in case", and if the child is dirtied [or arrives dirty] I will change them into clean clothes and send the dirty items home in a ziploc to be washed. Please do make sure to send fresh items to replace the "just in case" ones.

perhaps also include some other guidelines (like pick up times and payment procedures) so that it's not a glaring attack at them, but rather a generic communication. Once you pass these around, it may be enough to get their attention to do a better job with clean stuff. If not, you then have an opening to say something.

Each time these things happen, I'd mention them casually. ie: I gave Jack some of our milk as somehow his was spoiled. Maybe check at home so none of you get sick. re: shoes, if you're takign him out of the house say "We went outside today and we do a lot of days so can you make sure Jack always has shoes? Also, you probably haven't noticed that his socks slip off all the time. I think he's growing so fast they're too small!" Cat urine "Your cat must have peed on Jack's jacket so I just went ahead and washed it." If all of this is said nicely and like no big deal, you're not being confrontational but you can't remain silent about these things either. Then if they KEEP sending spoiled milk, you'll have to ask them to please make sure their milk is ok bc you don't ahve enough to give to all the kids and you don't want him to get sick. if they KEEP doing it, then it's a CPS type issue... Hopefully mentioning these things nicely will wake these parents up. Maybe it's a case of the dad packing these things and the mom having no idea. Sorry to stereotype men but they're not always very detail oriented. ie: my husband has no issue taking our girls out without brushing their hair.

I would make a comment on how he's growing & needs proper fitting clothes & socks & shoes. "They just grow so fast, don't they!" :)

You could also casually mention that it seems time to wash the jacket. "Jackets are easily forgotten for washing!" Heck my daughter's daycare told me once that her jacket needed washing! LOL

Diaper bag could be mentioned the same as the jacket.

Not sure how to delicately mention the cat thing or the spoiled milk / dirty cup. Maybe just a "Hey, just wanted to let you know the milk he came with this morning wasn't very fresh. Might want to check your carton at home to be sure!"

You say you've been to their house & it seemed clean. Did they know you were coming? Could they have cleaned a bit in preparation for you seeing it? Might look different if it was a surprise visit...

I would keep an eye on these things and see if they get better after you mention them.

Poor kiddo!

I bet someone grabbed an old cup with the previous day's milk still sitting in it and thought the other parent had poured it as that day's milk to take to the sitter's house. But since you say it happens once or twice a week, maybe that's not the case. I would definitely mention this one first, because it puts the child at risk of being ill. "Jack turned up today and the milk in his sippy cup was spoiled. I figured you might not have checked the date on your milk carton, maybe--it goes bad so fast, doesn't it? We don't want him or you getting sick." If it happens again, mention it again. I would not want him to be vomiting bad milk. And other parents will be upset if that happens and assume it's a virus, keep their kids home, etc. This affects your business, actually.

Still, this kid isn't getting someone's full attention. I agree with the others who posted that you can say things like "It's easy to forget to wash a jacket" and "Kids grow so fast -- Jack is already bursting out of those pants, eh?"

Also, do you know if it's really the parents doing most of the care? Is it possible the kid is under the day-to-day care of a grandparent or older sibling or au pair or nanny or someone else in the household who either isn't really capable, or just isn't experienced? Is it possible that someone else, not the parents, is supposed to be responsible for laundry, for instance, or for packing his food for the day? If that turns out to be the case, then you could talk to one parent and note the small clothes, the unwashed items and the bad milk indicate that maybe the caregiver needs help.

And are you certain it was cat urine you smelled and not the child's own urine? If he is still in diapers he might have had an accident that somehow didn't get caught and the urine dried on the clothes. Not a great thing but it could happen.

For shoes and socks, maybe try telling all families you serve, not just this one: "New policy, folks -- every child should come with well-fitting shoes and socks since we play outside sometimes. If a child arrives in the morning without shoes and socks I'm going to have to ask the parent to bring some that same day. It's not fair to keep all the kids inside because one or two don't have socks and shoes with them. If you are in a rush in the mornings, and would prefer to bring two pairs of socks and one pair of shoes to leave here at all times for us to use -- that is fine too." Then actually follow up and tell them they must bring those shoes and socks!

I'm not sure why you are worried about "seeming snobbish" here. Milk that won't make him sick and clothes that won't spread germs to him and your other kids -- those are just basics of hygiene. It is not snobbish to ensure that children in your home are not making themselves or other children in your paid care sick. If the parents get upset and you have approached this privately and sensitively, then they can take their child elsewhere.

You do have to say something-this cannot be ignored. THe welfare of these children is too important. Somebody has got to inntervene on their behalf and you are perfect for the job. You are not their friend or family both of which may have foudn it hard to say this to theme. What you say to them is business-nothing personal. And as a businesswoman this is not something that you can shirk from or you should not be in the daycare business.

I would just tell them matter of factly. WIthout pity or emotion of any kind. Just make it like it is your daycare's rules that hygeine must be kept by the children. Tell them that you realize how hard it can b with so much going on and suggest that perhaps they haven't noticed.

Lastly-this is a potential hazard for you, your family and the other children you watch. It may be a matter of time before cockroaches are brought in through the belonings of this child, bedbugs or lice. So if you find that you cannot say something and get this resolved then ask them to leave.

first of all if a child's clothes come smelling of cat urine I would immediately wash them and tell the parent that I washed their clothes and for what reason.
I would clean anything I could clean. I am a teacher and we have a washing machine at our school and I sometimes have to take articles of clothing and wash them. I would wash the child's cups and things and wipe out their backpack with 409. I use those clorox wipes like crazy. I do not want unsanitary things around me and you are also modeling a different way of being for the child. They will remember how you did things and how nice it made them. Then just mention these things in a non judgmental way. By the way they had crumbs in their backpack so I wiped it out for you. Their clothes smelled like cat so I washed them out. I would also say " Please send clothes and socks that are the right size, So and so was uncomfortable today because their clothes are too small". Just be matter of fact and do not tip toe around things that need to be done. LIke one person said she appreciated being told about things. If they do not appreciate it then they can go somewhere else and you might consider reporting to CPS. Sounds like neglect to me. They have money and jobs and they let their baby stay like that?

Do you have a method of sending notes home? When DD needed anything, we got a note on the bottom of her daily sheet. "It was a little chilly for DD today. Can you please send her warm coat?" It wasn't that I neglected her, but that the weather varied and sometimes I guessed wrong.

You might take the time to remind everyone that they need to send their child in clothing that fits well, that they can play in, and that is right for the season.

In the end, I think you will have to take them aside if those notes don't work. Maybe pick the parent that you think is more receptive. I have to wonder if the child isn't in their care at night or some nights. I had a coworker who would often leave her daughter with the grandmother during the week, so it was anybody's guess where the child was staying on a given night. He may not even be in the home you saw as much as you think.

You can also address concerns as they come up. "It appears that the cat got ahold of your son's jacket. Please send him with a new one tomorrow." And bag it up for them to take home that night.

I am a daycare/childcare provider as well. All I have to say is YUCK! I would never take in a child like that. :( Sounds either like they are not taking care of their child or they just don't know when the cat goes to the bathroom on the clothes. Clothing of a child's should not be in reach of a cat! Cats can get very jealous!

I would first talk to the parents and say nice and calm, "I have noticed some smells on your child's clothes. I think it might be cat pee."....then have a piece of clothing and let the parents smell it. Also; bring up the subject that the child is not fitting into the clothing provided. Show them how it does not fit on their child. Sometimes you have to show people and then they realize.

I had a child like that come to my house for daycare. Actually two children this year. It was so gross. I was ready to puke the clothes smelled so bad. The children were not taken care of either. I would be on the look-out for this as well.

Is this the only family you work for?

Feel free to PM if needed!

I would schedule a meeting with the parents to sit down and talk about these things you have noticed. You can do it gently. You're not being snobbish. These are all signs of possible neglect. It could just be that the parents are overwhelmed. Maybe you can offer to wash the baby's jacket and diaper bag. Or you could just do it and then report to them at the end of the day why you washed it. For sure talk to them and see if things improve. Because you are a childcare provider, you are a mandated reporter. You will have to eventually decide if you need to report it to child services. Hopefully that will not be the case.

Some people just don't care about that stuff. It's really something that is so not important. My neighbor is like this. They have money and she is always buying herself expensive things (Luis vitton purses) and stuff. Her boys are in shambles. Dirty ill fitting clothes, dirty faces, missmatched to small socks or no socks in the winter and clothes that smell like cat piss cuz her cats piss on all their stuff all the time. She really does not care. All her kids are in my kids classes so we see them a lot and have playdates with them. I always cringe at how her kids look. The even weirder part is how put together she is.

Funny though her 4th child is a girl and she actually goes out and buys tons of boutique clothes for her. She is dressed to the nines as a baby. So it's really just her 3 boys that look disgusting.

No suggestions for you but can relate.

Why is the child wearing a jacket in the summer in Beverly Hills,CA? its not cold. Is this a ongoing issue. Why have you not been properly trained in daycare providing that they did not cover this topic. It is a topic that should have been covered and how you should handle it and what you should do about contacting cps for neglect.

If it is a real question then you need to tell her seperatly from other kids and parents. As a fist time mom I loved when my daycare provider told me things like , you childs diaper was wet when he came in (i must have forgotten to change his diaper but got him dressed...i payed extra attention) you son needs more tummy time at home. he has really bad diaper rash which means he is cutting a tooth. I relyed on her as much as our docotr. She was like having my moms advice when my mom was hrs away.

*********** update *********** in beverly hills i am guessing there is a maid involved at home who might be doing the laundary or not doing the laundary. just mention it to the parents ,

I would report this to CPS. This is neglect and needs to be dealt with ASAP. I know of parents who take better care of themselves and not their kids.