Daycare or Not

Why not find a lovely person who takes care of a few children in her own home for 1 or 2 days a week? That way, she can interact with other kids but is still in that home setting that she is used to. I do think it would be good for her to be in that kind of setting at least one day a week or maybe 2 half days a week. Sounds like she would greatly benefit. I think daycares would be too inflexible for what you are looking for. I stay home with my son and take him to a babysitter with kids of all ages once a week. He loves it!

Have you looked into your local library. My mom does daycare for both my kids and that is were we started. My son was 1 when he started his library group. Lots of libraries have free programs for kids that you go to one day a week. They hear a story and make a craft. From there, maybe your mom can network and meet other mom's or caretakers and start a playgroup. My kids had tons of interaction with other kids and I'm exactly in the same predicament as you.

Hi I.,

I own a childcare center and can give you some of the pros and cons. First, make sure they are a licensed facility. Depending on where you live NY OR NJ the info is available to you on the internet. Sometimes Yahoo has parent reviews of centers which can give you some idea of how the center is run. I know there are horror stories out there but trust me centers are carefully monitored by licensing so they are run better then they ever were. I know you want to socialize her but I really have to tell you children pretty much parallel play until around 3 so chances are she isn't going to play with other children at her age. However she can learn from being in a structured environment. If they do circle time she can learn to sit with her peers and learn songs, and introduction to animals etc. Circle time is really a great time for getting children to come out of their shells and also learn. Since your mother in law is available to you why don't you find a center where she can just go for the mornings ( I would do a minimum of 3 mornings to be consistent and get the most out of the program) and then have grandma pick her up and spend the afternoons with her. There is no reason to keep her in daycare if you do not need it in the afternoons. Most of the academics go on in the morning. Afternoons are for sleeping. If you don't need it why pay for your daughter to nap. Just my opinion but half days would be the best for your daughter. I also have the children visit the school for a half hour each day for about a week so they are not so traumatized when they have to stay. They have no concept of time but short and sweet works for us. I usually have very few tears when we do it that way. As far as sickness, exposure now will only help prevent her missing school in kindergarten and above when it really counts. If it is a clean center and they are strict with their sick policy in sending sick kids home it shouldn't be to bad. I take sick kids to my office until parent's can pick them up so I can remove them from the class at the first sign of illness. It really keeps the illness under control. If you have any other questions I would be happy to answer them. Also, I would take grandma with you this way while you are talking with the director an extra pair of eyes won't hurt. Most centers require an appointment but I would show up unannounced to make your appointment so you can see how things are truly run. If you go at drop off and pick up time you may be able to meet some parent's to get some feed back. Good luck!

does you mom in law take her to the park... or to a play place? or out where she will see other children.. if so.. then you are ok. I put my daugher in a play group.. it was called mother morning out.. in westfield nj... it was once a week.. for about 2 hours.. they learned to play nicely, share, finger paint.. it was great.. my kids both loved it.. you can start them at 10 mo. old I think. then they went to preschool setting at 3 ... they learned so much.. and had fun.. see if they have anything like this in your area... check with the y.. and other moms.. good luck..

Hi,
I have to say that I love the daycare my son is in! He has been there since he was 12 wks old and now goes part time to pre-k there as my my parents watch him part time. He loves it and has thrived. He did not get sick that often when he was little...it is either now or when they enter kindergarten though, take your pick. He he is so social and has learned so much! He is just very and confident and yes, I do think the daycare setting is partially responsible for that. You need to find a very good day care...one that has not citations. If a daycare is NY state licensed then they have to follow the rules of the students per teacher...my daycare is super strict about his and follow rules almost to a fault. Google NYS and daycare and you should come to the state page where each licensed daycare has info. I would personally not do it at someone's house, I was just not comfortable with this. In daycare, I knew that there were always at least two sets of eyes on him...no tv time and strict guidelines. I also got to know the teachers well and was very comfortable with them. If anyone needs a great daycare in the Long Island, Suffolk County area, let me know.
Best of luck!

Hi Trina,

My answer would be NO to daycare at this time.

Would it be possible for your mother in law to take your daughter to a "mommy and me" program, or story time at the library, or even the playground. This would give your daughter some exposure to younger children.

We hear many horror stories about day care centers, but rarely hear about the goods ones. When the time comes, you'll need to do your homework. Many of them offer toddler/preschool classes, I would recommend you consider these after your child turns 2.

Dianna gave great advice about the local library. Also, I don't know where you live but in my town there are baby "classes" run by the recreation department that you can join to have your baby interact with others. I would not send my daughter to day care for all the reasons you said if I didn't have to. It's wonderful you have your mother-in-law available to take care of your daughter but she can take advantage of local resources to get your daughter out and meeting other babies!

This seems to be the "mother" of all debates with the exception of breastfeeding. I, too have been debating it for the exact same reasons for a while and my daughter is 18 months old.

I would suggest taking her part time at first, maybe 2 days a week to get used to the idea. Make sure the center is certified with no violations but also that the employees are certified as well in CPR and First Aid. The more education the employees have in terms of child care training the better! Talk to the employees, find out what their training is and why they want to work in daycare. Talk to other moms that take their kids to the center, do a walk through to check on safety and cleanliness. Observe the children, do they look happy or miserable? Find out their policies on illness and what they serve for food or if you have to bring your own.

NYC has a website that lists daycare centers and home based centers in your area that are certified and if they have any violations.

To answer your worry on illness. It is actually better that your child be exposed so she can build up a resistance in her body. Constant avoidance of germs is more dangerous and can make her more vulnerable to getting really sick from an otherwise non serious virus.

It is great that you want your child to interact with other children and many daycare centers do have a learning cirriculum. Just do your research first. You may have to visit many centers before you decide on the right one for your daughter. Good Luck!